Li waked over to the door, unlocking it and slowly
creaking it open. He didn't want Madison over; he wanted to be alone with
Sakura for a while. He had to tell her, he had to tell her that he couldn't be
with her and that he had to return to Hong Kong. He had realized over the many
long years, as she must've, that he loved someone else.
He knew for sure Sakura didn't love him, that Julian had
taken her heart. But she stayed with him, convinced herself that she was in
love with Li and not with Julian. But that didn't bother Li, for he too did not
love Sakura. He didn't know why he stayed with her and didn't just return to
Hong Kong to continue his training. He did, so badly, want to return. He hated
Japan, and missed his home so much, but returning would be to face the one he
had abandoned.
His heart skipped a beat at the mere though of her, the
dear friend he missed so much. No that wasn't right, she was more than a
friend, to him at least. Over the years, the many long years of being apart, he
had realized his feelings towards the girl he called friend had changed, grew,
he felt something more. He wasn't about to say it, he couldn't admit it to
himself, that his heart ached for her every day and that being apart from her
was like a slow and brutal torture, for he was a fool. He had let her go, not a
thing he did to stop her, not a thing he did to get her back.
He regretted it, so much, he missed her smile, he missed
her eyes, and he missed how she would growl at any other girl that looked at
him. She might not have been perfect, might not have had magical powers, but
she was a fighter, with a strong heart and that was all he needed. He had
returned to Hong Kong once to look for her, but she had moved. Moved on with
her life and left him behind, probably got married, or at least looking, why
not? He had neglected her, ignored her, and he regretted every memory of it.
She had always been there for him, always had something to
say, always been there to help, though she had been powerless to do so. She was
not a card captor, but she had the heart of one. That was what he needed to
tell her, he needed to get away to search for the love he had lost. He slowly
let the door creak to a stop and raised his eyes to meet the others. He felt
his heart stop, his blood freeze in his veins. He must be dreaming.
She turned to face him, her eyes glistening in the moonlight. She looked so
beautiful; words could not describe the beauty she possessed. He slowed to a
stop at the bottom of the tree his breathing erratic and heavy. He swallowed
and looked up at her, sitting lonely in the tree. She glanced down at him
surprise written across her face. He had to tell her how he felt, but no words
came from his mouth. Nothing could describe how he felt; no words were suitable
for the grief and longing. He missed her.
"Mei Lin." He said breathlessly holding his hand to his
chest.
She
turned her face away from him, sniffling and choking back a sob. Why wouldn't
she look at him? It was obvious, he had let her go, never a call nor a letter
did he send her. He didn't know why. How many letters had he written her
telling her how he felt, telling her he missed her and wished he could be with
her. But he had been so weak, to afraid to send them. Afraid she would reject
him, tell him she had moved on, had found another, tell him she hated him for
neglecting her and hoped he had a happy life with Sakura.
But
he didn't want Sakura; he wanted her. Why couldn't she see that? He wanted so
badly for her to see that she was the object of his affection. There was only
one way. He jumped up into the Sakura trees intricately winded branches and
took a seat on the branch next to hers. The only way for her to know how he
felt was if he told her. He took a deep breath and looked over at her, she was
facing away of course, she probably didn't ever want to see his face. He
reached out and placed hi hand on her shoulder, causing her to jump slightly.
"Mei
Lin I'm sorry…" He started catching her attention, "I-I… I just wanted to say…"
"Say
what Li?" She interrupted him shifting around on her branch so she could face
him, "After so long, no letters, no phone calls, what do you want to say?"
It's
the heart afraid of breaking
That
never learns to dance
He wanted to say so much; so much he couldn't even think
where to start. He stared into the eyes, her beautiful eyes. It seemed that was
all he could do, stare at her, no words just looks. He had thought of so much
to say to her over the years, but everything seemed irrelevant now that he saw
her tear stroked cheeks, and her rose red lips. He could not think of a single
word that could describe what his heart wanted to say.
"Just as I though…" She mumbled her voice cracking from
the tears she cried. She choked back another sob and hugged one leg to her
chest laying her head upon her knee, "If your not going to say anything then
just leave me alone." She said another barrage of sobs wracking her body.
He couldn't bear to see her like this; sad, crying, why
was she crying? He wanted to comfort her, wanted to reach out and hold her in
his arms. To stroke her beautiful silk hair and tell her everything is going to
be fine. But none of that happened. He stared at the ground, at the rose petals
that blew around the base of the tree. She was like a rose; she was his rose, so
beautiful. He would tell her, he had to, there was no other way.
Mei Lin…" He mumbled to himself drawing a quizzical glance
from her, "You, I've missed you, my beautiful rose, I've missed you so much."
He glanced up at her, into her unbelieving eyes. He had
done it, he had said it, he had told her. Now the words, everything he had
wanted to say came flying into his mind all at once. I love you, I miss you,
and I never want to leave your side as long as I live. Please Mei Lin take me
away from this place, take me back home and never leave me. Those things, all
the emotions he had kept pent up inside trickled from his eye in a single tear.
"You…" She said accusingly her eyes growing wide with
disbelief, "You leave me alone and broken for so many years, how many tears
have I cried over you? How many nights have I dreamt of your face? All the
waiting, and when I finally see you, see you with her, you tell me that I am
nothing, nothing but a rose who's thorns are as deadly as knives. A rose who is
neither as sweet nor as beautiful as your precious Sakura. Li I thought,
through all the years of missing you and praying to every god that you would
love me again, but my thorns are too big for you to miss."
It's
the dream afraid of waking
Who
never takes a chance
"What?"
He yelled instantly covering his mouth with his hands
What
was she talking about? Her thorns were too big for him to miss? Her beauty was
too much for him to overlook, isn't that what she meant to say? Thorns? Is that
what she though he though? He couldn't see any thorns on her; she was too
perfect to have anything like thorns. But it was true a rose did have thorns,
it was a bad example of her beauty but it was the only one that explained her.
She was beautiful, how many times had he said that? She was delicate, she was
sweet, and her hair forever smelled so lovely. She was a rose, but nothing was
perfect.
"Mei
Lin you don't understand… That's not what I meant…" He trailed off seeing her
lack of interest in what he was saying.
"Li
there's nothing you can say now. I know you love her and that I'm just another
thorn in your side," She said ruefully, tears still bubbling over her eyes and
rolling down her cheeks, "I shouldn't have come, I should have just forgot, sat
and watched like every other year. What did I think? What was I thinking that
you would rather a rose over a Sakura? That you would forget about her and say
that you loved me, and missed me, and that for every day I was not by your side
your soul died a little more? I was such a fool, Li I'm sorry I've bothered
you, I won't ever disturb your life again."
With
those hurtful words she jumped from the tree onto a nearby rooftop and sped
off. For a moment he couldn't move, could breath, couldn't think. That was
exactly what he was going to say, how could she think she was a fool, when he
had been the fool for letting her go. He snapped out of his shocked daze and,
without another thought leapt from the tree and onto the shop roof, once again
chasing the love he wanted to catch so much.
She
hadn't got very far in front of him, his retrospection had only lasted mere
seconds, but that was enough for him to lose her in the dark. He thoughtlessly
leapt from roof to roof, following the sound of her restrained sobs. He didn't
know if he could catch her, she had improved over the years she had been gone,
but he had become lazy. Luckily for him she was still as clumsy as before. He
heard her slip and her body land on a roof with a thud. He caught up to her,
skidding to a halt and instantly kneeling down next to her grabbing hold of her
shoulders.
It's
the one that won't be taken
Who
never learns to give
She
squirmed in his grip, but he held her tight enough that she couldn't get away
without a fight. She slid out of his grip, much to his surprise, and leapt to
her feet, instantly squealing with pain and falling back into his arms. She
held her ankle tightly shivering with pain, her tears bubbling anew. He cradled
her in his arms feeling as her body pressed against his, the warmth he had
dreamed of for so long finally becoming a reality. She sniffled again sitting
up away from him, her hands still clutched around her foot.
"Why
did you follow me?" She asked her sobs finally stopping replaced by her cold
voice.
"Why?
Because I want to, I need to, Mei Lin…" He started, wanting now, more that ever
to tell her what he felt.
"Li
don't feel as if you have to follow me just because I'm crying," She cut him
off trying her foot again on the ground, but flinching with pain every time,
"You don't have to feel obliged to me just because we were friends once upon a
time, I don't need you anymore." She choked out the last part as if tears
threatened to overcome her again.
"Mei
Lin I'm not obliged to you…" He tried moving around to look her in the eyes,
her beautiful ruby eyes.
"I
know, so why don't you just go back to your flower and leave me be, I'm fine by
myself." She said standing up on her one good foot and limping off towards the
next roof.
He
smiled at her, memories of their innocent childhood flooding back to him. She
was always so stubborn, always wanting to be better, but he was too so he
couldn't talk. He raced over to her side, grabbed her arm and pulled it over
his shoulder. She growled but reluctantly supported herself on his shoulder. He
walked with her over to the edge of the roof, staring at the drop down. There
was no way she could make that.
And
the soul afraid of dying
That
never learns to live
She
growled something and untangled herself from Li, readying to jump from the
roof. Li couldn't let her do that, couldn't just watch. He acted like anyone
else would, without thinking. He leapt over to her, scooping her up in his arms
and jumping proudly off the roof, landing silently on the ground. He smiled to
himself. Knowing for sure she would see how he feels and at least give him a
go.
"Let
go of me!" She squealed squirming in his arms,
He
placed her gently on the ground rubbing the back of his head nervously. What
was that? She looked so mad. That wasn't right, his Mei Lin should never look
mad, and it was his fault. What was he going to do? He couldn't see her like
this. He stepped back watching her as she fixed up her hair and brushed her
clothes off. She glanced back at him, her eyes cold, so cold and hard. He
couldn't stand it anymore, he had to tell her even if she didn't fell the same.
"Mei
Lin listen," He started catching her attention, "I'm sorry for everything I've
done to you. You have to see… Mei Lin… I love you."
He
smiled at her, a smile that had been reserved for her only, a real one, unlike
anything he'd given Sakura. She gaped in shock at him, her eyes wide and her
mouth opening and shutting like a fish. She was so cute, how could he have
waited so long? Why didn't he realize her sooner? Realize that she had always
been there, always had a smile and a laugh. He knew now he couldn't change the
past, but he could change the future.
"Li…"
She whispered tears forming at the corners of her already wet eyes.
His
smile widened at the sound of her heavenly voice. Another thing he had missed
for so long. He stepped forwards, closing the space between them in one stride.
He cupped his hand on the bottom of her chin and raised her face to look into
her eyes. He hated seeing her cry, even before, it was so wrong, angels weren't
supposed to cry. And he would make sure from now on his angel never cried
again.
When
the Night has been too lonely
And
the road has been too long,
"Li…" She whispered again staring so deep into his eyes he
felt she could see his soul, "Li I've waited so long…"
"I
know…" He replied feeling his eyes sting.
He
raised a hand to his face to rub his burning eyes, and pulled it away wet. He
was crying. He had never cried before, at least for as long as he could
remember. Why was he crying now? He knew the answer, he felt so much right now,
standing in the dark of the night finally reunited with his Mei Lin, it was
overwhelming. He had dreamt every night since she left that he could just hold
her in his arms, and now that he finally could he felt as if nothing else
mattered.
"Li,
why?" She mumbled pulling away from his grip.
Why?
Why what? Why was she asking questions? Why was he crying? Why was she crying?
Why his heart beating so fast? Why couldn't he stop his stomach from leaping
and turning? He didn't know why, nor did he care. The only thing that mattered
to him now was getting out of here and returning to Hong Kong with his love and
live the rest of his otherwise meaningless life with her.
"Why…"
She continued raising her eyes to meet his, "Why did you do it Li? Why did you
make me wait for so long? Li every night I would dream of you and wish that one
day, you would love me like I love you."
And
it seems that love is only
For
the lucky and the strong
"But Mei Lin I do love you, you have to see…"Li tried but was cut off by
Mei Lin
"But
Why Li? Why didn't you just come back to me? Why did you leave me hanging for
so long? I wanted you so bad to be with me. Did you know that every day I
would… oh never mind you would probably just think it was stupid." She finished
with a small weak laugh biting her lip to prevent breaking down into sobs.
"Mei
Lin…" He whispered moving again closer to her.
He
didn't know she felt that way, if he had things would be so much different. He
had forever though she had moved on, forgotten, as she had obviously though
about him. If only he had known, how many years of waiting would he have
avoided? How many long lonely nights, how many haunting dreams of her eyes
would he have missed if he had only followed his heart?
"Mei
Lin, no I won't think its stupid." He said grabbing her hand and holding it to
his chest.
She
turned to face him, her eyes so bright, her face so perfect. She was so close,
but he didn't dare move any closer. He wanted to, hold her, comfort her, how
many times had he wished he could? He wanted to whisper nothings into her ear
while she dried her tears on his shoulder. But he didn't dare move. Her eyes
flickered for a moment, as if she were juggling the possibilities around in her
mind. She bit down again on her bottom lip and diverted her eyes away from his.
"I…"
She started but cut herself off, as if she were thinking of the right way to
put her words, "Well every day, I would, I would give a hundred rose petals for
you."
Li
knotted his eyes brows together. What did she mean by 'give him a hundred rose
petals?' did she pluck one hundred rose petals each day? Or was it just a
metaphor?
Just
remember, in the winter
Deep
beneath the winter snows
"What
do you mean?" He asked timidly, quietly, pondering her words as he did.
"I
knew you would think it was stupid." She said, cursing herself quietly.
"No,
no that's not what I meant. I mean, what do you mean by you gave me one hundred
rose petals each day?"
She
smiled to herself, a beautiful smile, so full of so many feelings. She gave
another weak laugh and knotted her fingers in her shirt, chewing nervously on
the inside of her lips.
"Well…
"She started, "I, you know that game, that little thing people do where they
pluck the petals off flowers and say that little rhyme? 'he loves me, he loves
me not…'" She imitated someone plucking petals off a flower while saying the
rhyme, "I did that, one hundred rose petals every day."
Li
smiled to himself. He could never imagine someone like her plucking petals off
roses wondering if her love loved her back. She was more of the kind of girl
that would just ask. But sometimes she would surprise him by being so
compassionate. He wondered sometimes if he knew as much about her as he claimed
to. They had been best friends since he could remember, but sometimes even best
friends kept things from each other.
"That's
not stupid." He consoled her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and gently
lifting her face up, "How did it turn out?"
"He
loved me, every time." She replied
She
smiled up at him, a smile that made his heart flutter and butterflies to fly
wildly in his stomach. It was an ordinary smile, she had given it to him a
million times, but right now, seeing her smile break through all the tears that
stained her face. Seeing it for the first time in so many long years, it was
like that first touch the sun gave the flowers after the snow had melted.
"That's
why I never gave up hope, through all the years and all the broken dreams, I
knew, in my heart that you loved me."
"I
never stopped."
Lies
the seed, that with the sun's love
In the spring, becomes the rose
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
AN: Okay, that was the sequel. I know I kinda dragged it
out a little long but I couldn't stop typing until I got it all out of my
system. I think this is the fastest I've ever written a sequel to anything. And
yes I know the poem doesn't fit with each break, but if you read it as a whole
then you'll get it. Anyway I finally wrote a Mei/Li I have been looking so hard
for Mei/Li fics but everyone loves S+S, and I know why as well. They go so good
together and yadda yadda yadda, but you gotta love Mei Lin, she's so…
misunderstood, like Jun. ^_^ anyway I've rambled on for long enough, tell me if
you like it and I can very well write more, if that doesn't ruin it. ^_^;;
Disclaimer:
I don't own Mei Lin, Li, Sakura or any of them characters, they belong to
Clamp. And I don't own the poem, I have no idea who wrote it so if it was you
them email me at: kawaiikitty_01@hotmail.com
and tell me and I'll give you credit or take it down.
