Chapter 2: Lizzie McGuire Took An Axe...
Okay, so I told you that the whole town would know the person that is Miranda Sanchez. And they will. But by now you must be thinking, " Miranda, whatever could have caused you to suddenly think your best friend is a used dishrag?" Well, my problems with Lizzie don't affect our friendship, but I'll be more than happy to tell you. I'll summarize it, because I know lengthy explanations get real old, real fast. Bottom line-it's a jealousy thing. I'm not too proud to admit it, but hell, at least I've got the guts to do so. Okay, so now you're probably all "Oh, look, little Miranda is jealous, I can't imagine why!" Well, here's a quick rundown of why I'm a lovely shade of jade. Hey, that rhymed, I'll be damned; didn't know I had such skills. Oh, right, list, well... here.
Okay, first of all, she's blonde. Not that I'd ever want to be blonde, but still, blondes get attention. More attention than brunettes with sparkling personalities. Next, there's that whole Ethan thing. I mean, he's totally dumb and everything, but I was the one who had a real relationship with him! So why does he want to eat lunch with her? I suppose it's a blonde thing, you know, because of Kate and everything. But I digress. And another thing. Gordo never brought me coffee! Not that I'd want him to, it's gross and yucky and tastes like dishwater. Used dishwater. But it's the principle of the thing. Sure if I asked him to he probably would, but I don't see why you'd rely on somebody else to do something you were perfectly capable of doing yourself. And yet ANOTHER thing. (Do I sound bitter yet?) Aaron Carter. Yes I know he's a goofy little pop star, but well, I like him. And when I sang for him, he was totally mesmerized. Slack jaw, glazed eyes, the whole deal. But then Lizzie goes to get her tape recorder and POOF! it's all "Miranda who?" and "Baby, I swear I meant to call, really I did." Okay so I made that part up. I so didn't give him my phone number, I mean come on, he's hot and stuff but he is a stranger. Anyways, I guess that's about it. Oh, except for the time I was in the school play. Yeah I totally sucked, but COME ON PEOPLE! It was stage fright... yeah, that's it. Now I don't want any of you thinking I despise Lizzie. I love her to pieces. She is my best friend after all. There are just times when I need to shine, you know what I'm saying? So much for a summary.
So that's my whole jealousy issue. Which is the reason why I'm putting my master plan into effect. It's gonna kick majorly, I promise you that. Except for my plan to work, I'm going to have to enlist the cause of my anguish, Lizzie McGuire, to help me. And Gordo, too... can't leave him out...
Okay, so I told you that the whole town would know the person that is Miranda Sanchez. And they will. But by now you must be thinking, " Miranda, whatever could have caused you to suddenly think your best friend is a used dishrag?" Well, my problems with Lizzie don't affect our friendship, but I'll be more than happy to tell you. I'll summarize it, because I know lengthy explanations get real old, real fast. Bottom line-it's a jealousy thing. I'm not too proud to admit it, but hell, at least I've got the guts to do so. Okay, so now you're probably all "Oh, look, little Miranda is jealous, I can't imagine why!" Well, here's a quick rundown of why I'm a lovely shade of jade. Hey, that rhymed, I'll be damned; didn't know I had such skills. Oh, right, list, well... here.
Okay, first of all, she's blonde. Not that I'd ever want to be blonde, but still, blondes get attention. More attention than brunettes with sparkling personalities. Next, there's that whole Ethan thing. I mean, he's totally dumb and everything, but I was the one who had a real relationship with him! So why does he want to eat lunch with her? I suppose it's a blonde thing, you know, because of Kate and everything. But I digress. And another thing. Gordo never brought me coffee! Not that I'd want him to, it's gross and yucky and tastes like dishwater. Used dishwater. But it's the principle of the thing. Sure if I asked him to he probably would, but I don't see why you'd rely on somebody else to do something you were perfectly capable of doing yourself. And yet ANOTHER thing. (Do I sound bitter yet?) Aaron Carter. Yes I know he's a goofy little pop star, but well, I like him. And when I sang for him, he was totally mesmerized. Slack jaw, glazed eyes, the whole deal. But then Lizzie goes to get her tape recorder and POOF! it's all "Miranda who?" and "Baby, I swear I meant to call, really I did." Okay so I made that part up. I so didn't give him my phone number, I mean come on, he's hot and stuff but he is a stranger. Anyways, I guess that's about it. Oh, except for the time I was in the school play. Yeah I totally sucked, but COME ON PEOPLE! It was stage fright... yeah, that's it. Now I don't want any of you thinking I despise Lizzie. I love her to pieces. She is my best friend after all. There are just times when I need to shine, you know what I'm saying? So much for a summary.
So that's my whole jealousy issue. Which is the reason why I'm putting my master plan into effect. It's gonna kick majorly, I promise you that. Except for my plan to work, I'm going to have to enlist the cause of my anguish, Lizzie McGuire, to help me. And Gordo, too... can't leave him out...