Rating: R, Language
Author: Tempest
Site: wwfdiva.port5.com
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone recognizable from the WWF. They're owned by WWFE and themselves of course.
Author's notes: And you thought my sad Jeff was pitiful wait until you meet my sad Matt. Sequel to:Mama Told Him Not To Cry. I do plan on making this a trilogy with last, but not least, my fave WWF diva, Lita. I might even make a fourth part to give it a happy ending. And that pic of Trish I mention in the story is a real bonafide pic. I don't know if it was manipulated or not. (It looked pretty damn real to me) But it is floating out there in cyberworld. And, I'm a big fan of Amy Dumas and The Hardy's. I would never wish this upon them. I'm just feeling angsty.
*denotes thoughts
//denotes lyrics
I Say - Artificial Joy Club
//Blah, blah, blah//
He was having a rough week. His brother was barely speaking to him, and something was going on with Amy. Neither one of them would talk to him. Nobody wanted to hear what Matt had to say. Everyone was tired of what Matt had to say. Matt was too serious. Matt was depressing. His brother just stormed out the room. He wanted to chase after him and ask him what was wrong, but Jeff wasn't really talking to him. This wasn't the first time he had done that. It was just one of many times. Everytime Matt said anything to Jeff, it was like Jeff was looking right through him. Everyone told him he should lighten up. He was too overbearing. He was running his brother and Amy away. Was that true? Was he running them away? Why didn't they tell him?
//The V-chip on my tongue's gone berserk yeah yeah
One channel left, I hope you like my talk show network//
Did everyone hate him? What was going on? He didn't think that he was that rough on them. He was just trying to push them to work harder. They were a team afterall, and they had to work as one. Everything was so much easier for them. All Amy had to was look pretty and hit a hurricarana every now and then. Jeff was everyone's favorite. All he had to do was dye his hair another color and maybe do a swanton bomb to entertain the crowd. So much more was expected of him. Nobody ever said it, but it was pretty much an unspoken rule that he was the leader. He was tired of leading. He wanted to follow a while.
//Can dress me up, can't take me out
I'll make you squirm without a doubt oh oh//
It wasn't just Amy and Jeff that he seemed to push away. It was the whole damn federation. Everytime he opened his mouth someone, didn't matter who, thought he was critizing them. Was everything he said an insult? He was just trying to be helpful 90% of the time. He knew he wasn't any better than anyone else. He was just trying to offer his honest opinion. Everyone looked at him with such disdain when he looked like he was going to speak. He even thought he heard DeWayne say, "King Matt is about to speak again." He couldn't be sure though because when he looked at him, he just lifted that fucking eyebrow at him.
//Cause I say what I feel, it gets me into trouble
Yeah I feel what I say, I don't care anyway//
He was coming to the conclusion that he didn't care about them anymore. Fuck them, and fuck their bullshit logic. He wasn't a bad person. So, why did everyone want to make him out as the villian? He reached into his bag and pulled out a bottle. *Jim, you're my only friend.* He thought. He opened the bottle and took a long drink. He had started to drink a little more everyday. Noone knew. He made sure of that. He didn't want anyone calling him a damn drunk because he wasn't. He didn't want anyone to have anything to use against him. If anyone found out he drank, they'd try to call him out on it.They'd probably accuse him of being an alcoholic. They were all against him, anyway.
//Steve Austin and I both have bionic mouths yeah yeah
His saves the world, mine just spews whatever out.//
Maybe, he was a little brash at times. He had let it be known that he saw a picture of Trish on the internet taking a shower with another girl. She had blushed and said that was a long time ago before wrestling. He just smirked at her and said, "I always knew you were a slut." Trish had ran out the room crying. Everyone looked at him with accusing eyes. "What?" he said in all innocence. Amy ran after Trish. "Good going, Hardy." Chris Irvine had said to him. "Hey, don't you talk to me lantern chin." Joanie's mouth flew open. Chris jumped up ready to fight, but Jeff and Dewayne held him back. "Fucking asshole." someone muttered. Matt didn't care. He had walked away.
//Sometimes my foot gets really stuck
Inside my mouth,I don't give a fuck oh oh//
He had been drinking that night, but he didn't blame his slip of the tongue on alcohol. He had spoken the truth. Alcohol only relaxed his mind. It helped him think clearer. It wasn't the source of his problems. Amy and Jeff had really lectured him, but had tuned them out. He meant what he said. Trish and Chris still weren't talking to him. He just shrugged. *Who cares? Not me.* He said to himself. It actually felt good to get things off his chest.
//Cause I say what I feel, it gets me into trouble
Yeah I feel what I say, I don't care anyway//
He took another drink from the bottle. He looked at it. It was almost empty. That bottle had just been full a minute ago. He guess he had drunk more with that first swallow than he thought. *No, worries. I'm a thinking kind of man. I brought another bottle.* He looked at his watch. His eyes swam a little. He was suppose to be at WWF New York at 8p.m. *Damn eyes, I'm too young to have cataracts.* He blinked a couple of time and looked at his watch again. His watch read 7:15. He had plenty of time. He drunk the last of his JB, and carely put the bottle back in his bag. He couldn't leave any evidence. He took out the fresh bottle.
//And I do who I like, it doesn't make me humble
And I like who I do, it's just my attitude oh oh oh oh oh oh//
His mind turned to Amy. He wondered where she was at. He hadn't seen her much after the Trish incident. She insisted that she had forgiven him, but she still hadn't talk to him much. He once asked her why she stopped talking to him. They used to talk all the time like best friends. She said it was because he had changed, and she didn't know why. He had laughed in her face. He was still the same Matt. She turned and walked away from him. He was slowly trying to work his way back into her heart. They had dated once before they had gotten big. It was sometime when she was in the ECW or was that WCW?. He wasn't sure. He couldn't remember. He needed to drink more.
//Hey badabing, hey badaboom! My lines don't come on silver spoons//
"Matt, have you been drinking?" Amy asked him the night before after their onstage kiss.
"No." he replied.
"But -"
"But, no. And that's my final answer."
He stormed past Amy. He had almost been figured out. She had probably already spreaded the rumor he was an alcoholic. He would have to be more careful, and read his lines better next time. He had forgot all about the kiss, and right before the match he had took a little sip.He didn't know why he wanted anything to do with that bitch anyway. He was sure she was fucking Joanie. If they weren't, they might as well be. They made enough lesbian jokes to keep the crowd entertained, but were they really just jokes. He didn't think so. He would love to be the one to catch them in the act. He would never let them live it down.
//You don't get refunds when you buy my brand of etiquette//
He felt his mind get a little cloudy. He had to drink more. He had to keep his philosophical mind going. He looked at his watch again. The hands were blurry, but he thought they said 7:30. He was leaving in 15 more minutes. That would give him just enough time to finish the bottle. It was half empty anyway. It probably wouldn't take him 15 minutes, if he drunk fast. He took another big swig and let the feeling of relaxation overcome him. He never wanted to lose this feeling. It was the only thing worth living for now.
//Cause I say what I feel, it gets me into trouble
Yeah I feel what I say, I don't care anyway//
And what the hell was wrong with Jeff? He was acting like a complete fucking baby. Slamming doors, throwing shit, storming out. You'd think he was fucking abused from the way he acted. He would get Jeff told once and for all. He couldn't just act like a little prick. He was his brother, he was suppose to tell him what was wrong with him. Apparently, brotherhood meant shit to Jeff. Fuck brotherhood, then. He was out for revenge now. Everyone was going to pay for treating him like shit. He wasn't a bad person. Why was everyone out to get him? What did he ever do besides be himself. If he couldn't be true, who could?
//Yeah I do what I like, it doesn't make me humble
And I like what I do, it's just my attitude//
The door opened. He quickly stuck the bottle under the chair he was sitting in.
"Matt, It's time to go." Amy said.
He just nodded.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
He nodded again. He felt like saying where have you been off screwing Joanie? He held his tongue, though. The people around here didn't take too kindly to the truth. She closed the door.He knew it was time to go. She didn't have to tell him. Time to go entertain the bloodsuckers. He stood up. He wobbled a little. He had gotten up to fast that's all. He wasn't drunk. He mumbed to himself as he put on another shirt. He almost knocked over the small table that was in the room trying to put on his shirt. He walked out the door he stumbled a little as he walked down the corridor to the car. Amy and Jeff were waiting on him. He slid in the backseat of the car. Jeff looked at him through the rearview mirror.
//'Cause I say what I feel, it gets me into trouble
Yeah I feel what I say, I don't care anyway//
"Are you sick, Matt?" Jeff asked.
"Fuck you." Matt said.
Jeff turned around in his seat.
"What did you just say?"Jeff asked.
"Drive this damn car before I kick your ass back to North Carolina."
Jeff looked at Matt closely, but turned around.
"Matt, what is wrong with you? You haven't been yourself lately." Amy said.
"Don't talk to me. I have nothing to say to you, Amy."
She grew quiet. No one said anything to him.
//'Cause I do who I like, it doesn't make me humble
And I like who I do, it's just my attitude//
They went to the area they were directed to when they got there. Taping was going to start soon. Matt wobbled to the nearest chair. Jeff and Amy didn't say anything. They knew he was drunk. They knew he had been getting drunk for the past couple of weeks. He wouldn't admit he was getting drunk, though. They only hoped that he did well enough not to embarrass them. Maybe he wouldn't say anything at all. That meant that Jeff would have to talk more than usual. He would have to be the outspoken Hardy today.
//It's just my attitude oh//
They started taping. Matt sat up. He felt a little tired, but that was only because he had been working so hard lately. He looked into the camera.
"What brings the Hardy Boys and Lita to WWF New York?" A report asked.
"We're out here at WWF New York trying to relax." Amy said.
The fans cheered in the background.
"Matt-" the reporter said.
*Uh-oh* Amy thought looking over at Jeff who looked just as anxious as she did.
"What are your thoughts on successfully defending your European title twice? And what are your thoughts on Eddie's unspoken alliance with you all?" The reporter continued.
"Fuck you. I didn't come here talk about the European title or Eddie Guerrero.I came here to fucking party. Now get that camera out of my face. You're making me miss my damn song." Matt said.
Matt stood up and shoved the camera man. Amy eyes opened wide. Jeff chewed on his bottom lip. The fans cheered in the background it was obvious they didn't realize what was going on. Jeff walked up to Matt.
"Matt, stop it. You're scaring Amy and me. You're drunk."
"Fuck you and that slut Amy." Matt yelled.
Amy ran from the room. She couldn't take it anymore. The place was completely quiet as Matt went on a rampage about how everyone in the WWF were a bunch of cowardly motherfuckers.
"What the hell is everyone staring at? Sing, have a good time."
No one moved.
"It's just my attitude. It's just my attitude." Matt sang offkey.