Disclaimer: I still don't own Red Dwarf or any of its characters.
Chapter Five
Moments later, the Usurper flashed into the new dimension, becoming visible for a moment before the cloak reactivated. Onboard, the crew were still passed out. Many of them had several cuts on their bodies thanks to being crushed down on the glass shards. The computer had given up trying to figure out what had just happened and now patiently waited for some input from the crew.
As the pressure levels rapidly dropped back to normal, the crew began to revive. No one said a word as they began to check their posts for damage. Whatever they had been through, it was a miracle they were still alive.
Gambran opened his eyes and gasped. Everything was upside down! How in the world could that be? He still felt the pressure, although it was much more bearable now, and a terrible noise rang in his ears. Suddenly a pair of feet appeared before him.
"Sir, let me help you up."
A hand appeared and Gambran took it. He was hoisted to his feet and everything was right side up again, although his head still felt like it would burst at any second. He waited for the room to quit spinning.
"What happened?" he asked no one in particular.
"That's just what we were going to ask you, sir," said the first officer.
Gambran shook off the remaining dizziness. "I want answers. Find out what happened and give me a damage report as soon as possible." He became aware of the noise again and realized it was the green alert.
"Someone turn that damn alert off." He winced as he waited for the siren to subside. Finally it was quiet again. "Ah, that's SO much better. Ensign!"
The ensign snapped awake and began to orient himself with reality once more. "Y-yes sir?"
"Find out what's happened. I want to know where we are and how we got here." He looked at the screen and began to shake with anger. The Wildfire was nowhere in sight.
"Where is he. Where is he?!" He pounded on the console, almost crushing the ensign's fingers. "Find out where he is. I will not let him get away with putting our crew through an ordeal like that." He leaned in close to the ensign. "I thought you had a lock on him!"
"Well we couldn't find any life-signs, if you remember, so we were unable to establish the lock." His heart leapt into his throat as Gambran raised his hand. "However, s-sir, the report from intelligence is being processed. We can study that while I work on the lock."
Gambran lowered his hand. "Good. Make it available as soon as possible." He began to pace around the room and stepped on some glass. "Someone get in here and clean up this damn glass," he barked. Crew members rushed to the scene and began to clean up. He glared at the screen again.
"You are NOT getting away from me," he snarled. "I won't have it."
The Wildfire shut down its jump thrusters and returned to a normal cruising speed. Diane reappeared on the monitor, dazed but otherwise in perfect working order.
"Well, that was a ride! It'll take a minute before I'll be able to tell if it worked. Hang on a m--" Her eyes widened with fear as she observed the sight before her.
He just laid there, head on his shoulder, still as can be. She tried to see his face through his helmet shield, but it was no use. So she did what any emotional computer would have done when the man she was obsessed with wasn't responding. She began to panic.
"Ace, are you all right?" She got no answer.
"No, don't do this to me. Please, you HAVE to be all right!"
Still no answer.
"Answer me, please Ace?! PLEASE!"
Rimmer blinked and let the familiarity of the cockpit slowly enter into his sight. He had blacked out. He had begun to wonder if there had been a malfunction in pressure control when he realized that Diane was freaking out.
"Oh no, you didn't make it! It's all my fault! I must have made some error, and look what's happened! I'll terminate myself immediately. Maybe I can donate some of my diodes to the charity for helping scrambled airport weapon detectors--"
"Diane, will you calm down?!" he cried in his regular voice. "I'm FINE."
"Ace, you're ok!!!" Synthetic kissmarks filled the screen. Rimmer couldn't help but smile.
"Are you sure you're all right? Nothing's broken or missing?"
"Yes yes, I'm fine. No need to get all worked up about it."
"How many fingers am I holding up."
"Diane, you don't have any fingers."
She grinned. "That's right!!! You're fine!!" More synthetic kissmarks. Rimmer rolled his eyes.
"Well *I'm* all right." He pushed himself up in the chair. "How's the ship?"
"Everything's fine, except for the aft sensors, like before. I am picking up a lot of static, though. Oh well, I'm sure it's nothing."
Rimmer looked out the window. "So did we make it? Are we here?"
"According to my calculations, yes. We've successfully jumped to dimension 23915. No wonder why there was such a jolt this time. We never jumped that many dimensions before."
He turned back slowly. "But we were trying to get back to MY dimension, remember?" He couldn't hide the disappointment in his voice. "What went wrong?"
"I'm not sure right now. I got distracted staring at you." She blushed as he covered his face. "Sorry! You just looked so determined. I can't help it, I have a weakness." She smiled. "Give me a little time, I'll work it out."
Rimmer laid his head back in his chair. "Anyone around?"
"Ooh, a lifesign!" she chirped happily. "Probably from the Rimmer in this dimension. So we've got a live one this time, eh?" She froze, embarrassed. "Sorry, no offense. It's just been a while since we've had one of those."
Rimmer ignored her. "Where's the signal coming from?"
"Below us, on that small planet." She paused. "I wonder what he's doing down there?"
"Well, bring up his file. Let's find out."
"Searching..." She frowned. "Oh dear. This is interesting."
"What's that?"
"He doesn't have one. No Ace has ever visited this dimension before. Therefore no one has made a file about his history, his friends, and other vital information." She looked up into his eyes. "Looks like you're on your own this time."
"What? How can I pretend to be Ace when I don't know anything about him? He'll see right through me."
"But he's never met you before. He doesn't even know Ace exists!"
"Which means he has no one to compare me to," he said thoughtfully. "In essence, I'll be the only Ace he'll ever know." He felt his stomach begin to knot up.
"Exactly," she grinned. "This ought to be fun!"
"Prepare to land." Rimmer took hold of the controls and sighed. He was nervous as hell. He'd never met another "him" before, save for the original Ace; the very idea of meeting yet another version of himself was nerve-racking. What would this one be like? Another reminder of how good his life could have been if things had been a little different? Or would he have it worse, if that were even possible? Personally, he didn't really want to know. This time, however, it didn't look like he had a choice.
Here goes nothing, he thought, as the Wildfire began to descend into the hazy blue atmosphere.
The ship emerged underneath a patch of orange clouds and a vast landscape presented itself below. The entire surface appeared to be mountainous, lush with green vegetation that complimented the grays and reds of the rock. There was a calmness about the place; Rimmer even felt himself relax a little. As nice as it was, though, he realized he couldn't see any signs of life. What on earth would he--or rather, another him--be doing in a place like this?
"Diane, are you sure he's down there? I don't see any buildings whatsoever."
"Don't worry, he's there. His signal's coming from the direction of that plateau up ahead."
As the ship got closer, a small dwelling came into view. It looked like a cabin of some sort. A single plume of smoke slowly raised from the chimney, curling like a finger that beckoned them to come closer. Rimmer eased the ship down into a picture perfect landing and climbed to the ground to look around.
The calmness he felt before had now become an uncomfortable stillness, covering the area in a blanket of forced tranquillity. He looked around for some sign of life--an animal scurrying away, a bird flying above him--but couldn't see anything. Only the leaves rustling in the wind made any attempt at movement. It was as if the place didn't dare to move for fear of some terrible penalty. Needless to say, it made Rimmer a bit uneasy.
His ears perked as he heard a loud creak, and he looked at the building in front of him. An old shutter gently rocked back and forth on the front window of the cabin; a relatively soft noise normally, but in a soundless place like this, it seemed to scream like a banshee. The weathered wood of the house looked as if it were ready to give out at any moment. Turning around, he took in the entire vista of the plateau. Nothing but mountains and an empty air. He shuddered when the cabin suddenly jumped back into view. It seemed oddly out of place on such a desolate world, although it perfectly reflected the stillness of the area. If it weren't for the smoke emerging from the chimney, he would have thought the place to be deserted itself.
Rimmer heard a low groan and realized it was coming from the front door, which swung open with a slow, lazy yawn. He removed his helmet and waited for someone to emerge, but no one came. Puzzled, he took a few steps closer.
"Hello? Is anyone there?" No answer. He shook his head. What the smeg was going--
ka-POW!!!
The sound of the gun was deafening, shattering the rigid silence within a matter of seconds. Rimmer realized his eyes were shut and somehow willed them open again. Reluctantly, he looked down to see if he had been shot.
He sighed with relief: he was fine. Whoever it was behind that gun, he was a terrible shot. He had missed his intended target by a longshot.
He looked up and saw his counterpart standing in the doorway, pointing a large shotgun at Rimmer's head. His white T-shirt was covered in a cold sweat as he tried to hide the fact that he was trembling. They both stared at each other for an uncomfortable moment.
"Look, I don't know who you are," the counterpart said at last, "but I'm giving you ten seconds to get the hell off my property."