Disclaimer
– All characters are property of Lucasfilm.
An
AU story, at the time of ANH - what would have happened if Biggs hadn't jumped
ship and had mouthed off at the wrong moment
about Luke's piloting skills?
I've
been waiting until I felt ff.net was stable enough to continue posting. Fingers
crossed it is and this won't suddenly disappear again. Much thanks to Brigantia
for the beta. I just hope this provides some distraction from the past weeks
events.
I
have NO idea what's going on with the font here, btw.
Shooting Stars
Chapter Sixteen
Serenity
was far from here. Peace was twenty years in the past. Unreachable,
unachievable, elusive. Obi-Wan narrowed his eyes to sea-green slits and watched
the tensions in the room rise to beyond boiling.
"Escape
attempt?! Why did you tell them it was a failed escape attempt?! What were you thinking?"
Leia rounded on the Darklighter boy and stared up at him with contempt.
Apparently, the Alderaanian princess was not taken with Luke's friend. "No,
wait, I know; you weren't thinking at all. That's the problem! When you
went in there, you didn't even bother to think how you were going to get
out again!"
Biggs
tried to form words, but managed only to take several gulps of air and shrug
helplessly before pointing towards Luke, "Don't shout at me, it's him
you want to take it up with. What was I supposed to tell the bridge? 'Sorry
about the explosions, we must have a weapons malfunction'? As if they would
have believed that!" Biggs managed to regain some of his pride and now towered
over the younger girl, "And while we're blaming people for this mess, how about
all your shouting? They could probably find us by homing in on your whining!"
Obi-Wan
stifled a smirk. A less than serene smirk. The console in front of him
continued to tick the minutes down in lurid green numbers. Thirty minutes to
the induced power surge through the tractor beam array. Thirty minutes to
survive, get to a ship, and keep running.
Serenity.
He barely even remembered what it felt like.
Leia
looked furious, her porcelain cheeks flushed and her hair a mad halo of
escaping chestnut strands. "Well, at least I didn't make up some dimwit farmboy
excuse. You-"
"Hey!
Hydroponics merchant, thank you! Luke was the farmer, not me."
Luke.
Obi-Wan turned slowly to the other occupant of the commandeered command post.
Anakin's son sat on the edge of a console, pale as the armour he wore, eyes a
dark smudge above his cheeks where they were clenched shut, fingers tightly
gripping the edge like at any minute he might fall. And he might just, at that.
All the tension in the room seemed to form a nexus around his slight form, the
shaking of his hands sending rippling echoes through the taught emotions raging
between the three erstwhile comrades. Luke didn't speak a word but he radiated
anger, and fear and every emotion Yoda and Qui-Gon had ever warned about. He
had been stoically silent on the run here, firing with near perfect accuracy,
but his emotions screamed through the Force. He had done his best to avoid
Obi-Wan, and when he had glanced at him his eyes had been fierce and
unforgiving. Obi-Wan wasn't the only prey of Luke's ire; Vader was clearly in
his thoughts. Luke was strung taught like live wire. Above all, there was
confusion. Now he sat, desperately trying to bundle his emotions away and
failing. Obi-Wan felt pity, and not a little fear at the dangerous situation
Luke found himself into.
As
if sensing the intense scrutiny, Luke lifted his head and his gaze speared
Obi-Wan. He visibly made the effort to stop his shaking hands but couldn't.
Anger or nerves, Obi-Wan didn't know. Luke shook his head helplessly.
The
console chimed. Twenty nine minutes. Time enough to try and bring the boy back.
"Luke,
come with me." Obi-Wan said, unfolding himself from the chair and gesturing
towards the small anteroom. Biggs and Leia stopped arguing long enough turn
perfectly matched stares on him. Luke blanched as if struck, but eventually
stood and walked after him into the room. When Obi-Wan turned inside the room,
he was a bare yard from the boy physically, but light-years from him mentally.
Neither of them spoke as the door slid shut and the whirr of computer banks
clicked like the sound of their thoughts churning.
Obi-Wan
was aware that, to Luke, he was the villain here, not Vader, and he
fully intended to change that. Luke's gaze was cold.
"I
am… pleased to see you are alive, Luke. Don't misread that. I would willingly
have given anything to have had another course of action." He finally said.
Luke
looked mildly outraged and a flush of anger crept up his neck and spread to his
cheeks, "Would you?"
Obi-Wan
sighed and lifted a hand to place it on the boy's shoulder, but at his smouldering
gaze he halted the action midway and retracted it, feeling ancient. How do you
try to explain why you tried to kill someone when you can't tell them the
truth? Not the whole truth anyway. Not when you had a chance to accomplish what
you failed do the first time; if he persuaded Luke of Vader's evil, maybe he
could close the boy off enough from his father that the fledgling bond he felt
strung between them would falter.
Maybe.
"Yes.
Luke, you don't realise what Vader is like. I couldn't let him take you."
Then
tension in the room escalated. "You would have killed me to save me?" He asked,
incredulous, "You didn't even give me a choice!"
"And
what would you have chosen, Luke? To take the chance? You have no idea what
he is capable of."
"Is
that supposed to make me feel better?"
Obi-Wan
shook his head, "If we can't get along then neither of us is likely to escape
here. And then you'll be back in the hands of the Empire, and Biggs and Leia
will be dead. I can feel your anger, but you have to put it aside," He paused
at the dangerous look in Luke's eye, clearly chafing at the lecture. "For them,
not me. Them."
"I
don't know if I can… I mean…" He trailed off as he closed his eyes, "I'll try,
but first I want to know why. Really why… it can't be just about protecting
me."
He
frowned. The boy was too astute. "Vader didn't tell you?"
Luke
gave a horrible, mirthless laugh, so far removed from the joyful Tatooine boy
that it made Obi-Wan's chest ache, "Nobody tells me anything. I… well, he said
you thought I was a danger to you, so you wanted to… remove me. But I don't
know what to believe anymore."
"From
a certain point of view, I suppose that is true." He admitted. "Luke, Vader is
evil. I wanted to keep you from him. I failed, because of my own weakness. I'm
sorry if you have… suffered because of that."
"That's
just it," Luke said, "I haven't. I've heard the stories but I'm alive, and
well, and Vader has even been…"
Obi-Wan
lifted an eyebrow, "Been what, Luke?" He was painfully aware he was grasping at
dead hopes.
"Kind.
I think. Compared to the stories, anyway… Compared to what he did to Leia, and
Alderaan." He shuddered, "But to me he was always… understanding. And he showed
me… the Force. It feels… it…"
"Luke."
Obi-Wan said, "I feel the Force in you, much stronger than before. He has been
teaching you."
Luke
nodded. "It feels…" He choked, balled his fists, "It hurts. I don't understand.
I feel so strange." He flashed a look at Obi-Wan, "If you want me to start
trusting you then tell me what's happening to me."
"You
are giving in to your anger and hate. What you feel is the dark side." He
leaned his back against the closest wall for support. That way, Luke wouldn't
see he was shaking with dread.
Luke
just looked confused. "The dark side?"
Obi-Wan
breathed in very slowly, assimilating what Luke was trying to tell him. Vader
had given his basic instruction on how to touch it, and nothing more. But why?
Lack of time or another reason? Why not give the boy an intense cause, why not
indoctrinate him immediately? He shook his head faintly, disturbed by one
possible answer that itched for attention. Perhaps Vader couldn't decide yet
whether or not he wanted Luke using the dark side. But that was ludicrous.
Wasn't
it?
"Luke,
sit."
"What?"
"Sit
down. I have about ten minutes to give you a decades worth of training." He
smiled grimly, "It will be rather rushed but you must listen to me, Luke. You
must listen, and remember, because if you don't… you may become like Vader. And
I would not see that happen for anything." Not even your life.
"Alright."
The boy looked uncertain, anger lingering, but he found the ledge of a winking
console and perched in the pale blue light of the readout.
Obi-Wan
took a deep breath. "The Force is the energy field you can feel now. But it is
not a weapon, Luke. It is a thing created by all life, respected by all life,
and to be understood and consulted, never wielded as you would a blaster. It
is… more than a tool, less than a companion." So much less, he thought ruefully,
especially on cold Tatooine nights alone with your guilt, "The Force has two
polarisations, equal and opposite, that we call the dark side and the light
side." He paused, "Which side you use depends on your attitude. The Jedi used
the light side, that requires a calm mind and a peaceful heart. I am a Jedi,
Luke. And you could be too, if you calmed your heart. The Sith… the Sith use
the dark side. Vader is a Sith; anything he has taught you or will teach you
will be mired in the dark side. You must avoid it at all costs."
Luke
frowned. "But surely it doesn't matter which you use as long as you get
results."
Obi-Wan
frowned sternly, leaned in close and pressed the boy backwards into the control
screens with his intense gaze. "No. Never, never believe that. The ends never
justify the means. Use the dark side and you will poison your heart and watch
your identity metastasise and crumble. You will cease to be Luke Skywalker and
become something… something like Vader. Evil." He softened, "I can see in your
heart that you don't want that. But you have been acting on those emotions,
Luke. You have acted on hate, and fear, and aggression. It changes you, you
must see that."
He
met Luke's gaze, heartened to see it had softened a little. "I… I feel
different." He ventured. "I attacked Biggs," He blushed,
shamed. Obi-Wan's heart soared at the patent guilt. A good sign, a very good
sign. If Vader had led Luke to this with disinformation and confusion, Obi-Wan
would lead him back with information and purpose. But would that information
include his parentage?
"Anger.
Fear. Aggression. Remember those, because each leads to the other in an endless
circle that you wont be able to escape." He nudged back a lock of blonde hair
from the boy's eyes with his fingers. "Once you fall, no one can bring you
back. Once you turn… you don't go back. Remember that, or you'll only get hurt.
You start a new life completely. Like Vader. If he showed you compassion… it
was only to make you more pliable. I'm sorry."
Luke
swallowed, hard. "And Vader…"
"He
was once a student of mine…" he skirted the issue. He already knew that Vader
had not told Luke of his parentage. And why? Why would he do that? What could
he possibly hope to gain by Luke's ignorance except perhaps… perhaps he didn't
want Luke to hate him even more. The thought completely contradicted everything
he had just told Luke, but he would protect the boy from false hopes even if he
couldn't help indulging in them himself.
"A
Jedi."
"A
fine Jedi. But we don't have time for this discussion " A poor dodge.
Innocently,
Luke tried to change the subject and hit right on target. "Did he kill my
father?" He asked, blue eyes achingly wide.
Obi-Wan
felt the lie choking him, "Yes." From a certain point of view.
Luke
bowed his head, sorrow rolling in waves, his anger at Obi-Wan momentarily
forgotten. "Then he only wants me as his… toy. His pet."
"Why
else did you think he would?"
"I
thought maybe, I hoped… oh, I don't know what I thought." Again, his hands were
shaking. Only this time, it wasn't anger. It was grief. Obi-Wan sucked in a
troubled breath.
He
wanted to tell him no, Vader doesn't care about you. He wanted to tell Luke the
man was a cold blooded killer who wanted nothing from Luke but his Force
abilities. But he couldn't, not in good conscience and not in truth. Because
Obi-Wan himself was no longer sure. Suddenly he felt no better than Anakin for
lying to this boy. Why couldn't he just tell him the truth, admit that, yes,
Vader was his father?
The
answer was so simple it hurt. Because Luke would probably go running back to
him, despite everything, despite Alderaan's destruction and Leia's torture,
there was a bond there, like a thin whisper of cord running between them and
reeling Luke back in. Like cobwebs in moonlight, pale white, fragile, delicate,
but undeniable.
So
he told him the only thing he could, "If he showed you compassion… it was only
to make you more pliable. I'm sorry." He did believe that. He had to. "Never
use the Force to attack, only to defend. Always think through the consequences.
Follow your instincts only when you have a calm mind. Do you understand?"
Luke
nodded, eyes thoughtful. "My father was a Jedi?" He nodded, "Then I'll do my
best to honour him, Ben. I… I don't think I can forgive you yet, for Tatooine.
It hurt too much, when I didn't understand it. And it still hurts, really. But
if you're right about Vader-"
"I
am."
"Well…
then I'll try."
"It's
okay, Luke. I almost hate myself for it."
The
boy gave an impish grin that transported Obi-Wan back thirty years, "I thought
Jedi weren't allowed to hate." He felt a stab of bitter sorrow, then. This boy
could easily be his padawan, his apprentice. But he wasn't, he was here
fighting for his life because of a cruel twist of fate. Destiny didn't have a
pleasant journey planned for Anakin's son, and although Obi-Wan seemed to have
soothed some of the boy's fears, and had warned of the dangerous path he was
beginning to tread, he knew the knife-edge they walked.
"We're
all human." He replied ruefully, then more seriously, "We all make mistakes,
judge people wrongly. The trick is to learn from them and keep breathing at the
same time. You've made a mistake Luke, although it wasn't really your fault.
You've touched the dark side, briefly, barely, but be sure to learn from it."
Suddenly
stubbornly earnest, Luke nodded, "I will." He promised, "For my father."
That
made him feel vaguely uneasy, images of the future running past as he caught
fleeting images of them, disturbing, Luke screaming 'Father!' and blood,
far too much blood. He shook of the nausea and refocused on the present, on the
moment. "Good. But don't brood; I need you here now, to help us escape."
"I
will… I just, I wish I'd known him."
"Who?"
"My
father. If there was anything I could do, anything, to bring him back. I
would." He stared at his gloved hands, hidden by Imperial armour, "I would."
His
nausea grew more intense and he had to keep from visibly flinching. "Luke,
whatever you do, whatever your heart demands, remember; the dark side is no
stronger than the light. You cannot fight dark with dark, only with light. If
you fall… you will become that which you and Biggs and Leia are trying to fight
against. And that is why I made my decision on Tatooine. I wouldn't see
you corrupted like… Vader. Your feelings do you justice, but they will betray
you if you let them. Remember; there is no path back from the darkness."
* * * *
"We
have fifteen minutes until the tractor beams go offline."
Leia
looked up at General Kenobi as he emerged from the small room and had the
unnerving feeling that he was smiling sadly. Behind him, Luke stood in the dark
doorway, looking determined. He found her eyes and, again, she felt that sharp
stab of… something between them. She shook it off and nodded. Beside her, Biggs
strode forward and clapped his friend on the shoulder, "Right, Luke call
Threepio and tell him we're on our way."
Luke
ran fingers through his hair nervously and nodded assent. She understood his
nerves well enough, the adrenaline driving through her own veins, but he seemed
to be particularly on edge. Still, where his eyes had seemed haunted in her
cell now they looked… thoughtful. Sad but clear. Like the weight of the
galaxies' spin rested solely on his shoulders.
She
glanced at the general and wondered if it had anything to do with his presence,
remembering Luke's words from the med bay – he tried to kill me…
The
general met her stare and shook his head fractionally. "He knows Vader is
coming." He whispered as Luke talked to the protocol droid. "He can
feel it. I am masking our presence in the Force, but I don't think it will fool
him for long."
Leia
gave him a quizzical stare and looked between the Jedi and boy with his dishevelled,
worry twisted hair, "Then what Vader told him is true?"
The
general shifted uncomfortably and gathered dusty robes around himself,
"What did he say exactly?"
The
question seemed to be heavily weighted and Leia felt her own eyes narrowing,
wondering if the man was more interested in what Leia already knew than
what Luke did, "That he is the son of a Jedi, that he can use the Force.
Is that true?"
"Yes."
The man's voice broke slightly and she crossed her hands across her chest
stubbornly.
"Just
what is that supposed to mean-"
"They're
ready. Artoo has put up a false alert on the other side of the station to
distract that. We might even make it to the hanger." Luke interrupted, stepping
between them, eyes flicking around nervously. "Let's go."
He
turned for the door but Obi-Wan's hand shot out and stopped him, "Wait,
Luke. We can't risk you charging into Vader. I'll go ahead and draw more
attention, then you follow later and go straight for the docking bay."
Luke
worked his jaw but his earlier vehemence towards the Jedi seemed to have died
somehow. Biggs stepped forwards, rubbing a hand over stubble on his chin.
"He's right."
The
old man and Luke's friend eyes met each other, a look of understanding passing
between them, "Biggs, could I have a word?" the Jedi asked, tone
deceptively calm. The other's dark eyes had storm clouds covering them but he
nodded and they moved off to a corner.
Luke
moved closer to her and she started as that same, tingly, electric feeling
wormed down her arms at his closeness, "What do you suppose that's
about?" She asked. And why weren't they allowed to listen? She felt
irritation gnaw at her but Luke seemed far more agitated, suddenly.
"I
don't know." he said quietly. "Here," he handed a blaster rifle, "Take it.
I think we might run into trouble soon."
She
turned slowly, "Why do you think that?"
"A
feeling. Trust me." He smiled winningly, but it was touched by anxiety. Leia
accepted the blaster and turned back to Kenobi and Biggs, conversing quietly
and agitatedly. Biggs ran a hand over his chin again, looking years older
suddenly. He flicked a glance their way, worry etched around his eyes. Concern
for his friend, she thought, and concern for the clock counting down on the
nearest console.
Then
Biggs looked over at them suddenly, looking between them with surprise written
on his face, which was quickly replaced by a huge grin and a nod. Leia looked
at Luke uncertainly, straight into those deep blue eyes. He just shook his head
in joint confusion.
"We
have to get moving." Biggs appeared beside them and she wondered just how
long she had been staring into Luke's eyes. The older, taller man placed a hand
on Luke's shoulder, "You alright?"
"Sure."
Luke said sharply. Then he closed his eyes, breathed deeply, and looked up
contritely, "Really, I am. We should get moving."
Biggs
nodded, a kind smile playing across his lips, "Just like old times huh?
Although the womp rats were harder targets. More brain cells, too, I'd bet."
Luke
gave a grin, and whatever trouble had been in his eyes dissipated.
Kenobi
was waiting by the door. "Princess, Luke, head straight for the docking
bay. Not short cuts, no diversions. Just get there and find an open shuttle or,
better still, an armed ship."
"Right."
"If
I'm not there by the time you arrive, leave. Don't wait for me." He looked
pointedly at Biggs, who nodded barely perceptibly, "Give me five minutes and
then start." He turned for the door, then seemed to stop, his shoulders
slumping. He turned back slowly to Luke, and placed a hand on his shoulder.
Luke looked down at it uncertainly, then looked back up, not quite warmly but
not nearly as hostile as before.
"Luke...
I'm truly sorry for this mess. But whatever happens, the Force will be with
you, always."
Luke
gave a small smile that lit his eyes and Kenobi seemed pleased. He left the
room in a rush of Tatooine homespun cape, saber swinging on his hip.
"What
now?" She asked as all three stared in silence at the closed door.
Luke
looked at her, his jaw set. "Start the count, then we start running."
* * * *