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Season Eight: PART THREE
Ross: (Walks into Joey and Rachel's apartment) Hello! Rise and shine!!
Joey: (Coming out of his room) What?? It's early!
Ross: Your point?
Joey: It's Saturday! (Watches Rachel walk out of her room and into the bathroom) Oh no! Not again! I hate the pukie!!
Ross: Aw, poor Rach. Did she tell you who the father was?
Joey: No!
Rachel: (Coming out of the bathroom and looked at the guys) Ehllo. (Gives a small wave)
Ross: (Rushes over to her) Rach, are you ok?
Rachel: Hello!! No, I am not ok.
Ross: So, I'm guessing you don't wanna talk about it, huh?
Rachel: (Sitting on the couch) Well, I have to get it over with sometime. (Joey and Ross come over and sit on opposite sides of her) Well…?
Ross: Who… who's the father?
Rachel: Tag
Joey: Ah ha! I knew it! I knew it!
Ross: (Glares at Joey- then turns back to Rachel) Are you sure?
Rachel: Who else could it be? I haven't been on a date in forever… so Tag is pretty much the only option here.
Ross: Well, have you told him yet?
Rachel: Yeah, last night. I called him up and told him. He, uh, he seemed to take it pretty well. I think.
Joey: (Checking his watch) Oh! I have to go. We have to shot the scene from yesterday today. I just hope he's not drunk again.
Ross: (Watches as Joey leaves) Yeah, good luck. So, Rach, what… have you gone to the doctor yet or anything?
Rachel: I just found out yesterday Ross!
Ross: Oh right, yesterday…
Rachel: Ross, I really have to get ready for work. Unlink Chandler and Monica, I don't get off for their honeymoon.
Ross: (Jokingly) Did you try?
Rachel: (Serious) Yeah! (Goes into her room)
(Scene: Central Perk, later that day, everyone but Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there)
Phoebe: I wonder what Chandler and Monica are doing right now… (Smiles, then gets a weird look on her face) Oh, ew, nevermind!
Ross: (Looking surprised) So, now you can see what other people are doing millions of miles away?
Phoebe: No… but what else would they be doing? (Everyone nods)
Rachel: (Walks in and collapses on the couch) I am pooped!
Ross: Hard day at work?
Rachel: No. I skipped work.
Ross: What? Why?
Rachel: I went to meet with Tag. And I made a doctor appointment and I just can't believe this. I'm tired and sick and pregnant… could life get any worse?
Joey: (Reading from the newspaper) Bomb kills hundreds… (looks up) Oh, sorry. What did you say?
Rachel: (Buries her head in her hands and starts to cry) Joey!!
(Scene: Rachel and Joey's- the next day. Joey is sitting on top of the counter and Rachel walks in)
Rachel: Oh! Joey… hi.
Joey: Hey Rach. I'm gonna order some chicken. Want the chicken?
Rachel: What is it with your sudden obsession with chicken?
Joey: Well, I figure that before you ask me to give up meat, I should eat all that I can.
Rachel: Ok. First of all- chicken skin isn't meat. Second- I'm not a vegetarian.
Joey: Oh, right. Well, you want the chicken anyway.
Rachel: Uh, no Joe, that's ok. Look, I have to go meet Tag for dinner.
Joey: So, you two are back together?
Rachel: I'm not sure. It looks that way. I can't say I'm disappointed, he's so great. But, I'm not sure if it's just because I'm pregnant or if he still likes me.
Joey: You should just ask him.
Rachel: Uh, maybe. I was planning on doing that tonight.
(Microwave timer goes off)
Joey: Oh! Have to go off again. Film some more scenes. You know, movie star stuff.
Rachel: Right Joe, see ya later.
(Joey leaves)
(Scene: Phoebe's apartment)
(Phoebe is sitting on top of the table- playing guitar. Ross is watching)
Phoebe: Smelly cat… smelly cat… what are they feeding you? Smelly cat… (puts down guitar) oh no!
Ross: What?
Phoebe: This just doesn't feel the same now that Chandler and Monica are married.
Ross: What??
Phoebe: Oh, right! This song is secretly about Chandler and Monica.
Ross: What- how's that? You had that song way before they got together.
Phoebe: I know! But, remember, I'm physic.
Ross: Hum… so did you know Rachel and me were gonna get together?
Phoebe: Of course! And I know… oh wait. I'm not supposed to tell. It might ruin it for everyone. And if I do that I might mess up history. And if I do that- the whole world may end up differently. And if I do that-
Ross: Whoa, whoa, I get the point.
(Scene: Monica and Chandler are lying on the beach later at night)
Chandler: Do you remember when we very first met?
Monica: Yeah… you came over for Thanksgiving looking like something I don't even wanna think about- just like Ross.
Chandler: Oh, right… and you made me that wonderful macaroni.
Monica: Right, and the next year I chopped off your toe.
Chandler: You know, even if you hadn't lost all that weight, I'd still love you. You'd still be beautiful.
Monica: Aww… that's so sweet. (Chandler leans into to kiss her, but Monica jumps up and runs off to the ocean instead) Wheee!!!
Chandler: Watch out for the jellyfish!
Monica: (Turning sharply and running back to Chandler) Stop that! Are you gonna let me get in the water at all this week?
(Roll Credits… Commercials)
(Little Clippy at the end)
Joey: (In the shower) I'm singing in the rain! Singing in the rain! What a… I'm spitting in the rain! Spitting in the rain!
Rachel: (Outside the bathroom door) What are you doing in there?
Joey: (Stops the shower and comes out in a towel) That's my new song. For the war movie, I have to spit. (Spitting on Rachel as he pronunciates)
Rachel: (Wipes her face) Gee, thanks for that Joe. You know, if you spit in the rain, no one would able to tell. It'd be raining. So, spit on that Mr…
Joey: Tribbiani!
Rachel: Nevermind, Joe, nevermind. Just keep on spitting.
MORE COMING SOON
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