Escaflowne Meets MTV's Fear
A/N: Here it is, minna-san! The BIG one…in this chapter, one of our bishounen may be slipping into something a bit more comfortable…::cough cough:: Well…you never know. Back by somewhat popular demand, yet again, is Escaflowne Meets MTV's Fear, and thank you ALL sooooo much for the reviews, IF YOU ARE GOING TO READ A PRODUCT OF MY STRANGE MIND, PLEASE REVIEW IT!!! I have over 200 hits on this story and only 25 reviews!!! A little absurd if you ask me! I'm getting tougher now though, and I'll take tough reviews, so give me all your flames and grief, I'll take it like the man I am not. Oh, and a special thank you to gabidilandau15@escaflowne.cc for the unique idea of Escaflowne meeting the real world…hmm…sounds interesting. Perhaps one day I'll try it.
Disclaimer: Yadda yadda…everyone just wants me to get on with it. I don't own anyone, except for Dilandau! No, just kidding, all the other Dilly fans are probably going to kill me now, but I don't care! ::kidnaps Dilly:: Everyone stay back!!! ^.~
As Dilandau left, Hitomi looked at the wall clock that was in the safe house. It was already three o'clock A.M. Hitomi had the unfortunate job of directing Dilandau, which was something she was not looking forward to. Hitomi then looked at Van with a smile on her face, "Well…you know if Allen chickened out on this dare, maybe Dilandau will too…That would be beneficial for us all, eh?" Van looked at her somewhat crossly. "He isn't that bad. Don't make fun of him, he's had a screwed up life." Hitomi put her finger to the tip of Van's nose, stopped, then flicked it. "I have no idea what has gotten into you, Van. Since when where you Dilly's friend?" Van crossed his arms. "Since when have you called him 'Dilly' ?" Folken walked over to the feuding couple. "Did anyone ask for a loooooooove doctor? Because here I am." Van narrowed his eyes at Folken. "Go away, brother. Stop being stupid."
Dilandau walked towards the abandoned building. It was cold, and wet outside, which was not Dilandau's favorite choice of weather. "This sucks…I'm wet, and I left my lighter back at the safe house." He then paused, before entering the doors. "Woman! Pick up the damn talk-a-ma-bobber!" Hitomi picked up the walkie-talkie. "I have a name you know…it's Hitomi, and the 'talk-a-ma-bobbers- are walkie-talkies…strange child." Dilandau rolled his eyes. "Just get on with the dare, girl." Hitomi read the screen. "Walk to room 29. By now you should know which one this is." Dilandau walked into the abandoned ballet academy. He looked around somewhat nervously, after all, none of his dragonslayers were there to protect him now. He reached room '29'. Dilandau had thoughts storming through his mind…'I absolutely CANNOT quit my mission, no matter what it is…because Van will think I'm a wuss-femme like him…which I am not!'
Hitomi picked up her walkie-talkie, "How are you doing, Dilly?" Dilandau winced. "What did you call me, HITOMI?" Hitomi chortled, "I called you Dilly. Isn't that cute?" Dilandau crossed his arms, "No it is not!" Hitomi stopped laughing. "Okay, Dilly, are you there yet?" Dilandau nodded, "Yeah yeah…let's just get on with it, what do I do next?" Hitomi smiled wickedly, "Your dare is the same as Allen's. Go into the main hall, and you'll see a black tote bag in the middle of the stage…Look inside that tote bag, and put on whatever the heck is in it." Dilandau ran into the room, and stopped in front of the stage. It was eerie looking, with its' odd statues, and broken lights. Dilandau ran up the stairs on the left side of the stage, and tripped over a torn curtain (déjà vu?). "Dammit!!! You have ruined my perfection!" He then slapped the curtain…which just billowed in the gentle breeze, as if to mock him. "Are you making a mockery of my perfection!? HOW DARE YOU!!!" Hitomi looked at Van, puzzled. "Dilandau…who the hell are you talking to?" Dilandau panting, venting his anger, "The damn shredded thing! GRRR!"
Dilandau inched his way to the middle of the stage, and opened the bag. "What the hell?! I have to wear…THIS?!" Dilandau held the tutu in front of himself. Dilandau whimpered into the camera. A smile played on Hitomi's face, as she cunningly added her own touch to the dare. "…and you can't take whatever it is off until we see it." Dilandau plopped to the ground, as tears welled up in his eyes. "Why…? Why me…? Do I deserve this…?" Dilandau could have sworn he heard a voice say 'Yes'. "Shut the hell up!!! Stupid wall ghosts!!!" Dilandau then paused…and sniffled. "Am I allowed to turn off the camera…when I'm err…in my…undergarments?" Hitomi shook her head. "No, dear…sorry." Dilandau looked into the camera very unenthusiastically, and slid off his jacket. His undershirt came next, boots, then his pants, but he did use his long jacket to cover himself up, while he changed into the tutu. The tutu was tight, and very chafing, as Dilandau stood up, and added the finishing touches; the crown, and the star wand. "Now what, you dumb broad?!" Hitomi scoffed. "Now…now…you must dance…" Dilandau's jaw nearly dropped to the ground.
"Awww…come on, Dilly I bet you look really…*giggle* CUTE!!!" Dilandau growled. "As soon as I get back, I'm going to kill you, and your little Draconian too! Well…anyway, how am I supposed to dance?" Hitomi shrugged. "Just do whatever, I guess." Dilandau propped his camera up on a tripod, which just so happened to be there, and ran back to the stage. He then started dancing, he jumped, span, shuffled, did everything he possibly could. He then started waving his wand around in the air, and singing a song which consisted of all "Laaa's." Hitomi looked at Van, "He's getting way too into this!" She said, in a confused manner. "I know, that is so not like him…What's next, he's gonna become obsessed with water?" Hitomi clicked on her walkie-talkie, just as Dilandau did the splits. "Dilly, get your little booty back here. You are done!" Dilandau snapped out of his 'ballet trance' finding himself on the ground, doing the splits. "OUCH!!!!" He got up quickly. "What the hell has gotten into me!!!???" He then hooked his camera back up to himself, picked up his uniform, and ran back to the safe house, in the tutu.
Dilandau stumbled into the safe house, hurriedly. Everyone exchanged glances, then looked at the very…pink, Dilandau. He narrowed his eyes. "Shut the hell up!" His face was now as pink as his tutu. Dilandau ran into the bathroom, extremely embarrassed, and changed into his lavender undershirt, and black leather pants. Hitomi eyed Dilandau playfully. "Was that fun, Dilly? I know you love to dress up, and dance." Dilandau glared at her out of the corner of his eye. "You all are asking for it! Tonight when we all go to sleep, you better watch your backs!" Hitomi then was surprised to hear the computer make a 'ding' sort of noise. "Congratulations. You have made it through night one! You may all go to sleep whenever you'd like, but be up by 9:00 tonight." Merle hopped up and down, "Yeah! We finished night one, and I didn't do anything!" Dilandau rubbed his hands together happily, "Yes! The night of the original prankster!" he said quietly.
Everyone got into their sleeping bags…everyone except for Dilandau that is…and after about an hour…they were all asleep. During this hour…Dilandau was deep in thought…thinking of each 'punishment' for each of them. 'Folken…' he thought. 'What shall I do with him…' Dilandau got out a black magic marker, and drew all over Folken's face. He made a mustache, long girly eyelashes, and a smiley face on his cheek. He then walked over to Van. He pulled off his covers very, very carefully and took off his pants and his shirt, very, very carefully. He then doused them in ice water, and put them in the freezer. He tip-toed over to Merle's sleeping bag, and looked at her strangely, having no idea what to do…but he then sat down, and wrote her a love letter in his best 'Van handwriting' saying it was from her secret admirer. Finally, Dilandau inched over to Hitomi…yes…Hitomi "The bitch from the phantom moon." He whispered, reminiscing. He then got a bucket off poopy-green dye, and dyed Hitomi's hair. He grinned. "Yes…success…" He headed toward his own sleeping bag…anticipating the wonderful tomorrow…"You'll pay…for everything you've ever done to me." he said, and fell asleep.
A/N: ::Clings to her kidnapped Dilly:: How'd you like that? It was quite fun to write! Well, if you like it REVIEW!!! For the Love of God! Oh, and if you have any more ideas for the upcoming chapters, please tell me!!! I need help! Dilly: Yeah…mentally! ~~~~Mel