Too Much Digital
Monsters
By: Washu Ishida
Disclaimer: I do not own anything, yada yada, talk
talk talk, blah blah, etc…
Author's Notes: This is a songfic that is a parody of
a parody. (The Jerry Springer Song by Weird Al, which was a parody of "One
Week") I've been working on my Final Fantasy stories so, between them and
my AP school work, I don't have much time to write Digimon. I've decided to exaggerate
all of the moot points of Digimon and turn them into Jerry Springer caliber
material. (Maniacal laughter) Note that I made this to vent my frustration and
laugh. It was NOT made to be good.
It's been one week since we got to see,
Hints of Jyoushiro and Taito/(slash) Yamachi
Five days since they had the show,
with Mimi the slut and Sora the crack ho.
Three days since we heard the tale
about Daisuke who learned that Ken became a She-male.
Yesterday, it occurred to me
that I've been watching a bit too much Digital
Monsters.
Holy cow d'you see it last week?
Miyako, that freak,
had sucker punched her whole family.
Do you recall Taichi's brawl became a total free for
all
and Sora's in the middle trying to play the referee.
Mimi became a stripper with new implants.
She likes to lap dance.
Yamato killed the boyfriend of his mother.
Now here comes his next houseguest,
and it's a slugfest,
cause it's is Gilligan-hat brother.
Taichi and Yamato are back on crack,
it's like "When animals attack"
they both exhibit irreprehensible behavior.
Hit 'em on the nose; tear off their clothes,
step on their toes, that's how it goes,
they get so violent they have to sign a waiver.
They're always swearin', cursin', kickin' butt, and
pointin' blame.
On the air? They don't care. They've got no shame.
Now I sure, both of them felt a little strange,
when they found out, Sora tried to have a sex change.
They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly,
they have a history of ripping off their shirts.
It's been one week since they had the fight,
When ultimate digivolving didn't work, except the
crest of Light.
Five days since that awful brawl.
They still haven't scraped up all the data off the
wall.
It's been three days since the bitter feud,
between Takeru, Hikari and the three Hong Kong dudes.
Yesterday, it finally dawned on me
that I'm spending way too much time on Digital
Monsters.
Taichi: Sora, I have a blue haired lover.
Sora: Oh! Which one?
Taichi: Both of them.
Sora: Ack! Well I've been sleeping with your best
friend Yamato!
Taichi: Yeah? Well me too!
Sora: Oh!!
Taichi: AND, I had a foursome with him, Koushiro and
Jyou!
Sora: Those three?! You b*tch! Well, I've been
sleeping with your sister Hikari!
Takeru: Hey, she doesn't love you!
Once you start watchin' there's just no stoppin'
Imagination goes wild and your sanity's droppin'!
Taichi's the king of confrontation!
He's a sensation!
He puts the 'sin' in syndication!
Sora's totally worthless like a bad check.
She's like a train wreck.
Don't wanna stare but you can't look away.
This program is like a talk show,
but with more weirdoes.
The rating's jumping higher everyday.
If you've seen the show then you know
they're just as low as they can go
and they're lacking in facilities of hygiene.
And pretty soon some digi-goon comes in the room
and then it's BOOM in the face of Sora
who once called Taichi a drag queen.
Well it's the kind of show where the digidestined
scream obscenities.
Yankin' hair, thowin' chairs at their possible future
hubbies.
Digimon! Digital Monsters! Now the chorus starts its
favorite chant.
Should I turn off my TV? I just can't.
I have a tendency to watch it religiously.
I have a history of taping each one.
It's been one week since the show about
psycho Dark Masters with problems they should work
out.
Five days since the big surprise
when Michael's husband Wallace said that he's still
dating twenty guys.
Three days since we got to view
the Digi-World Tour that turned into a total zoo.
Yesterday, it occurred to me
that I've been watching a bit too much Digital
Monsters.
I just don't have the time to watch Digital Monsters.
I have too many classes to watch Digital Monsters.
There are other Anime besides Digital Monsters.
Please review my songfic about Digital Monsters.
