Once upon a time, Hansel was a Terran Marine from new germany, and Gretel was a Terran Medic from new austria, and one day they were on patrol through the woods, just a jolly little Jaunt, singing as they went
"My Name's Hansel, Yes it is, Killing zerglings is my Biz,"
"My name's Gretel, Don't forget, I'm a medic, Not a vet!"
"Damn those Protoss! They will Pay!"
"For getting in our merry way!"
"Look at that thing what the f..." Then he stopped, as they awed at a great Command center, made completely out of gourmet Jelly Beans!
"You can have the coconut ones!" shouted Hansel
"No way! I hate the coconut ones!" snapped Gretel
"I cant' hear you!" said Hansel, sticking two jelly beans in his ear
"Oh my god!" said Gretel "They're ALL coconut!"
"Man this bites the big one..." sighed Hansel "Now what do we do?"
"I say we go complain!" said Gretel
"Yeah, good idea" and then Hansel pounded on the double-doors... and none other than the zerg queen herself came to the door
"Yes? can I help you?" she said, hoping not to be found out
"Ma'am, sorry to bug you, but you might be interested to know that this comm center is made completely out of Coconut jelly beans"
"Yes, i know, it was the best i could do on such short notice"
"Say aren't you..." Then kerrigan pulled out her claws, knowing that if she fought in her condition, she would surely die "Arethra Franklin?"
Kerrigan took the opertunity "Why... yes! Uhh, R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Boo-Yah!"
"Cut the crap, lady" said Hansel "We're gonna have to burn this place, it's a hazard to all living things"
"Come inside, won't you?" she said "I have oreos..."
"Yeah! Oreos!" shouted Hansel, Running inside
"No! Hansel! Get ahold of yourself! Resistance, RESISTANCE!
"...And S'mores!"
"Sweet! S'mores!" she yelled, running after Hansel
---1 hour later---
"OOOOooohhhhhhhhh, the double-stuffed kind, Man, im burstin' at the seems!" said hansel
"You said it brother!" replied Gretel
"Now I shall consume you!" Shouted Kerrigan
"Whatchootalkinbout, lady?" asked Hansel
"I am not Arethra Franklin! I am noneother than the queen of blades!"
"I told you Arethra Franklin didn't have that kind of figure!" shouted Gretel
"I should've been able to tell by the size of her..." but he never got to finish
"ENOUGH ABOUT MY BODY! NOW I SHALL CONSUME YOU!" she shoued
"Not today!" said Gretel, as she fired a flash grenade at her face
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MY EYES!!!" she screamed "You fools! Baywatch comes on in 20 minutes, and now i can't watch it!!!!"
"It does?" asked Hansel "I say we skip her, and go see bawatch, i hear they're gonna have nudes on this week!"
"Hansel! You Petafile!" scolded Gretel
"I mean, uhh... EAT LEAD, BITCH!" and he pumped her full of lead.
---EPILOGUE---
Afterwards, their father, Marshal Jim Raynor, condemned the structure, and upened up a salsa-fiesta night inside the comm center... and they gave all the coconut jelly beans to the wierd kid on the block; Arcturas Mengsk
"Yea! Coconut!"
Freak.
Oh yeah, and they lived happily ever after, having salsa-fiesta nights every wednesday, even after mengsk ate all the coconut jelly beans.
THE END