In the Kel-Morian Military camp dormatories, there was a poor man named Jim Raynor, everyone felt sorry for jim, even his nasty roomate, Gui Monatg. Jim had lost his girlfriend and 2 best friends to the zerg, and nobody would ever know how hurtful it really was. One day Gui gave Jim 5 bucks to go to starbucks and get a couple of Frapachinos, but while in town, a retired technician sold a small disused beacon to him, and Jim took it home to show to Gui... Well Gui was mad that Jim didn't get the coffee, so he threw the beacon out the window. Jim looked at it from outside... and the beacon started to glow, and soon a HUGE behmoth battlecruiser called the Beanstalk rumbled in... Jim stared in awe... he knew about the beanstalk, it had legendary medics onboard that could uninfest terrans and protoss, and even bring back the dead... so jim hurriedly climbed the entryway of the docked ship, and up, and up, and up, and up, but finally, jim came to the top, 2 ghosts were gaurding the passage to go topside.
"Lemme through" said Jim
"Are you sure about that" asked the 1st ghost
"Sure i'm sure... why?" asked jim
"The Torrasque took over the ship a few months ago, he's been running the show ever scince" said the 2nd ghost
"So?" asked Jim, foolhardly
"Torrasque doesn't like outlanders" said the 1st ghost
"Lemme through!" repeated jim
"Allright, you asked for it" said the 2nd ghost, then Jim went topside. The top was Gargantuan, he couldn't see anything below it... then there was a rumbling behind him
"Fe, Fi, Fo, Fum," shouted the Torrasque "I smell the blood of a really sweaty guy!"
"Uuhhh, no you don't" replied jim
"I'll grind your bones to make my deodorant/antipersprint!" shouted Torrasque
"No, don't do THAT!" grimaced jim "The last place i wanna be is in the armpits of an ultralisk, no offense"
"None taken"
"I'll just be going now" said jim
"Thought you'd steal my medics, eh?" said Torrasque
"Yes," said jim "I mean, no!"
"THEN YOU'RE GONNA HAFTA FIGHT ME FOR IT!" shouted Torrasque. Torrasque charged for jim, but jim's knees buckled, and he fell down, Torrasque jumped over him and fell off the ship, into camp, where the rabid marines jumped all over him.
"SAVE SOME FOR ME!!!" Shouted jim
THE END
*-*EPILOGUE*-*
Well, for all Jim's work, He didn't get squat, because the special medics were a april fool's hoax fron 6 years ago. Jim lived happily ever after, and from then on, Gui was really nice to him. But that's about the only good thing that happened.
"Lemme through" said Jim
"Are you sure about that" asked the 1st ghost
"Sure i'm sure... why?" asked jim
"The Torrasque took over the ship a few months ago, he's been running the show ever scince" said the 2nd ghost
"So?" asked Jim, foolhardly
"Torrasque doesn't like outlanders" said the 1st ghost
"Lemme through!" repeated jim
"Allright, you asked for it" said the 2nd ghost, then Jim went topside. The top was Gargantuan, he couldn't see anything below it... then there was a rumbling behind him
"Fe, Fi, Fo, Fum," shouted the Torrasque "I smell the blood of a really sweaty guy!"
"Uuhhh, no you don't" replied jim
"I'll grind your bones to make my deodorant/antipersprint!" shouted Torrasque
"No, don't do THAT!" grimaced jim "The last place i wanna be is in the armpits of an ultralisk, no offense"
"None taken"
"I'll just be going now" said jim
"Thought you'd steal my medics, eh?" said Torrasque
"Yes," said jim "I mean, no!"
"THEN YOU'RE GONNA HAFTA FIGHT ME FOR IT!" shouted Torrasque. Torrasque charged for jim, but jim's knees buckled, and he fell down, Torrasque jumped over him and fell off the ship, into camp, where the rabid marines jumped all over him.
"SAVE SOME FOR ME!!!" Shouted jim
THE END
*-*EPILOGUE*-*
Well, for all Jim's work, He didn't get squat, because the special medics were a april fool's hoax fron 6 years ago. Jim lived happily ever after, and from then on, Gui was really nice to him. But that's about the only good thing that happened.