Title: With Your Ghost

Author: Giselle (yacrusader@hotmail.com)

Rating: PG

Summary: This is a short angst fic I wrote, set in the time frame of a little while after Cinderbella, without the confession of. The song in italics is Ghost, written by the Indigo Girls.

Disclaimer: Of course I don't own Young Americans and you certainly can't have my Pez collection!

Author's Note: A huge thanks goes out to my Jahammer clan!!! Even the silent readers, lol. Thanks so much to E, P, and Emily for everything, and a very special thanks goes out to M! This is for you guys!!!

Feedback: Good!!! Empty Mailbox: Bad!!!!!





There's a letter on the desktop That I dug out of a drawer



I never knew that I could miss someone as much as I miss him. If I pick up just one picture, it's like all sense of time is lost and I wake from my sleepless dream after hours of simply sitting there.



The last truce we ever came to

From our adolescent wars



Sometimes we would get into the most pointless arguments...upset at the smallest of things...and at the end of them, I could never remember just why they began in the first place.



As I start to feel the fever

From the warm air through the screen



Now I sit here, in his room, staring at a point that doesn't even exist....waiting for the door to open....waiting for him to come back....mad at me for taking off with his shoes...



It come regular like seasons

Shadowing my dreams



It almost seems pointless to sleep anymore...he's there in my dreams too. Always just far enough away that I can't hear him....can't reach him...but I know it's him.....



Well the Mississippi's mighty

And it starts in Minnesota



One of the hardest parts of being here....is that I never told him...never let him know that I cared so much about him...because I was afraid.



At a place that you could walk across

With five steps down



Every little thing has a starting point, you know? That simple moment when everything is just.....right.



And I guess that's how you started

Like a pin prick to my heart



That's how it was when we first kissed...that one, simple moment that was just...I can't even describe it.



But at this point you rush right through me

And I start to drown



After that, I knew I could never take it back...that kiss...my heart...It wasn't mine to give anymore.



And there's not enough room in this

World for my pain



It's still not mine to give....because he never gave it back.



Signals cross and love gets lost

As time passed makes it plain



Every chance that I had....I couldn't...couldn't tell him...and now...



Of all my demon spirits

I need you the most



I never will....



I'm in love with your ghost

I'm in love with your ghost



I don't know how many times I actually practiced telling him...resolved telling him. But every time I'd try I just...froze.



Dark and dangerous like a secret

That was whispered in a hush



And my secret stayed with me...only being told in my sleep.



When I wake the things I dreamt about you

Last night made me blush



He'd catch me daydreaming sometimes...and I could almost swear that he saw right through me. But I'd still wake up...alone....



When you kiss me like a lover

And you sting me like a viper



And that one kiss seemed to last forever...so I waited....



I go follow to the river

Play your memory like the Piper



Forever.....



And I feel it like a sickness

How this love is killing me



It's tearing me apart, you know....knowing that he's gone...that he'll never know the truth...



But I'd walk into the fingers

Of your fire willingly



If he'd asked me about the kiss again....I would have told him. Told him the truth about everything.



Come dance the edge of sanity

I've never been this close



But he never betrayed our friendship...he never asked me again...



In love with your ghost



And now he'll never have the chance to find out...



Unknowing captor

Would never know how much you



What he really meant to me...How much I loved him.



Pierce my spirit

But I can't touch you



Because he's gone...



Can you hear it

A cry to be free



And all I can think about is how I want it all to go away. The hurt, the pain.....the memories.



But I'm forever under

Lock and key

As you pass through me



But they never will...



Now I see your face before me

I would launch a thousand ships



So I dream alone in his room...



To bring your heart back to my island

As the sand beneath me slips



Of being with him again...



As I burn up in your presence

And I know now how it feels



Of watching that crooked, understanding smile that sees right through me...



To be weakened like Achilles

With you always at my heels



And makes me feel...like someone loves me.



And my bitter pill to swallow

Is the silence that I keep



But I never told him...and now I can't...



It poisons me, I can't swim free

The river is too deep



And I feel like it's slowly drowning me...



Though I'm baptized by your touch

I am no worse than most



So I have no other choice...



In love with your ghost



But to leave...



You are

Shadowing my dreams



And never look back...



In love with your ghost

In love with your ghost

~The End~