The Weakest Wizard
Chapter 2.
McGonagall: Alright we will start with Mr. Potter. Please put two minutes on the clock. Alright...here we go!
Mr. Potter, what is the Muggle Queen of England's name?
Harry- Um...Queen Elizabeth! *correct*
McGonagall- Mr. Weasly, Name all 4 of your DADA teachers, from earliest to latest.
Ron- Oh...Professor Quirrell, Professor Lockhart *Hermonie sighs dreamily*, Professor Lupin, and Professor Moody!!!!!! *correct*
McGonagall- Miss Granger, what is the square root of 7921 times 62 devided by 4 to the 5th power times 2?
Hermonie- (immediately) 10.78......well 10.77734375 if you want the gory details.
*everyone's jaw drops except McGonagall's*
McGonagall- Correct! Mr. Malfoy name 5 "death eaters."
Malfoy- Hmmm, this is easy, Crabbe, Goyle, Barty Crouch, Daddy, and...*looks around* Snape! *everyone looks at Snape in the crowd. He shrugs and tries to look innocent ("The boy doesn't know what he is talking about") as he sinks back into his seat*
McGonagall-Mr.Crabbe, what is the capital of France?
Crabbe- um....cheese!!!!????
McGonagall- That is most definatley incorrect! Shame on you! Miss Chang, name the first and last names of the founders of Hogwarts.
Cho- Oh no! Um, Gaylord Griffindor, Humphry Hufflepuff, Caesar Salad Slytherian, and Rudolf the Red-Nosed Ravenclaw!!
McGonagall- *puts face in hands* No *snort* thats wrong. Mr. Finnigan,
Seamus- BANK!
McGonagall- Um, Seamus, you don't have any money to bank.
Seamus- oh yeah....
McGonagall- Well, anyways, What nation won last year's World Quidditch Cup?
Seamus- *smiles*
***trows his shrit off to expose a huge green shamrock painted on his chest, runs around the stage screaming "Irish Pride!!!!" Then he stops and turns around. On his back it says IRELAND RULES! He suddenly pulls down his pants and moons the crowd. On his butt it says,"ALL OTHER COUNTRIES KISS THIS!!"***
McGonagall- Correct!!! Right on Seamus!!!!! Yeeeee-ah! Oops, I mean....heh heh....Miss Patil, Who is the present American President?
Parvati- *American flag comes down behind her and the national anthem plays in the background. Parvati is suddenly dressed as Uncle Sam, beard and all.* In a close race between two very intelligent *audience laughs*....um....people. The campaigning was hard, and the election was rough. And both candidates were at eachothers throats until the end. (And I believe they still are) It came down to that %$*# Supreme Court. Even though Al Gore won the majority *bats her eyes at him in the audience* George Walker Bush (that Son of a Bush) won Florida to become the 43rd President of the United States...*bats her eyes at the cardboard model of him in the audience, thinking (hah thats a first) its real*
McGonagall- *snoring and drooling on her desk thingy* Wha---what? Are you done now? Um, ok, correct. Whatever. *rubs eyes* OK, Harry, What was Voldemort's (ahhh! I said it) name in school. In other words what did his friends call him?
Harry- Uh, Voldie? Uncle Fred? Studmaster? Um.....Prefect boy?
McGonagall- NO NO NO and NO!!!! Ron, What are---- *buzzer beeps*
Well, thats the end of round one. You ended up banking.....nothing. Oh brother! Do you guys suck or what?!?!?!? Geez!!!!!!!! Alright well make a vote on who you think is the weakest link. (I personally think its all of you)
Lupin (announcer person)- The weakest link in this round is Crabbe. He missed as many as Cho and Harry, but he is so stupid and no one likes him. The Strongest link is Hermonie, but no one likes her either, so its Ron or Parvati (no one likes Draco, either).
McGonagall- Alright Mr. Potter who do you think was the weakest link?
Harry- Voldie, he made me get it wrong!
Ron- Cho
Hermonie- Crabbe
Draco- Cho
Crabbe- CHEESE!
Seamus- Cho
Parvati- Crabbe
McGonagall- Ron, you picked Cho? Why?
Ron- I dunno. I dont like her?
McGonagall-Draco, why did you pick Cho?
Draco- What kind of $*&# name is Caesar Salad Slytherian?!?!?
McGonagall- Seamus, you also picked Cho. Why?
Seamus- Well, she got that easy question wrong, but she also was the only girl who didn't appreciate my Irish Pride gig.
McGonagall- Well, Cho, you know what that means. You ARE THE WEAKEST WIZARD.....GOODBYE!
*Cho walks off stage, crying*
*Backstage Interview*
Cho- I had a feeling they would pick me. I *sniff, wipes away tear* just know.....I just know they are jealous of my *bites lip* intelligence. They won't go far with--with-without muh-muh-meeeee!!!! *has a crying fit*
*Back onstage....*
McGonagall-Well, now it's time for the second round of Weakest Wizard. Hopefully, you pathetic scum thats on the bottom of the pond scum thats on the bottom of the pond on the bottom of the swamp on the bottom of the planet, you will actually bank some money this time! Let's play!!