(I don't own 'The
Hitch-hiker's Guide To The Galaxy.)
COULD THIS BE THE REAL ARMAGEDDON?
This is the question on everyone's lips, after The President of
the Universe told the world that it was due to be destroyed to make way for a
Galactic Motorway Extension. He claimed that plans for the demolition had been
on show on Alpha Centuri for over 2 Earth years.
Quite a few people are a bit upset by this, as it will probably
cut their lives short by some time.
The Earth has been scheduled for
demolition at exactly 4;30pm tomorrow night. Some people have complained that
this will mean they will miss Top Of The Pops, which is quite inconvenient.
Since there is absolutely nothing anyone can do about this, we
might as well put up with it.
MEANING
OF LIFE DESCOVERED!
The meaning of life was discovered last night, by , 12, of
North London. However, she is refusing to tell anyone what it is, and since the
Earth is going to end tomorrow, it doesn't matter anyway.
MOST
TEACHERS ARE ALIENS!
A new survey has proved that the majority of teachers at
Highams Park School, London, are not, as they originally claimed, really from
Earth. Some students are quite annoyed, but many suspected it all along,
anyway.
"I always thought
that my maths teacher was a bit
alien," claims one student, who has begged us not to name
her. Thea Partridge, 13, will be glad to know we do not break promises very often,
so she will not be named.
SOMETHING
INTERESTING HAS ACTUALLY HAPPENED!
But since no one
knows what this is, it doesn't matter much.
