The Weakest Wizard
McGonagall- Well, we sure have gotten far. Let's see...7 total idiots (8 including Cho)...absolutley NO Galleons. That's 'zero', 'zip', 'nada', 'cero', 'none', and 'Crabbe's IQ'....a kid who is a little obsessed with Ireland... and another who gave a 45 hour speech on the American election!!! Well, hopefully, we can do better this round. Alright, we start with you, Mr. Weasly. Time's on the clock. Alright, here we go!
Where did spaghetti originally come from??
Ron: Oh that's easy! Grandmom's kitchen!
McGonagall- Um...no. Miss Granger what's the longest river in the world and how long is it?
Hermonie- *sigh* are you sure these questions aren't for two year olds? That would be the Nile River at 3485 miles long.
McGonagall- Correct! Mr. Malfoy, who is buried in Grant's Tomb?
Malfoy- Oh! Um...can I use a lifeline? No?! Oh man! Um, John F. Kennedy?
McGonagall- NO!!!!!!!! (Malfoy-Oh yeaaaaaaah) Mr. Crabbe, Who stared in the movie Gone in Sixty Seconds?
Crabbe- *looks skyward as if God will give him an answer* umm...oh yeah!! Cheese!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
McGonagall-Oh, Lord. No, that's wrong. Mr. Finnigan,
Seamus- BANK!!!
McGonagall-SEAMUS! YOU DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY YET!!!!
Seamus- Oh yeaaaaaahhh.....
McGonagall- What country is the city 'Dublin' in??
Seamus-
McGonagall- Correct! Miss Patil, What important event happened in 1939 Central Europe?
Parvati- *Nazi flag comes down and Parvati suddenly grows a 'Hitler moustache'* In 1939 the German army (Nazis) invaded Poland, killing many Jews and taking many more to camps. You were to walk in a line and they would seperate you in to one of two groups. You either got lined up to be shot, or if you were worth saving, you would be spared. If you worked for the German army, making things and such, you could show the soliders your papers....and possibly be spared.
McGonagall- Um, correct. Heh heh heh.....BUT WE DIDN'T NEED THE WHOLE STORY OF THE HOLOCAUST, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!! JEEZ YOU TOOK UP 1/5 OF THE TIME!!!!!!!(Parvati mumbles, "Well you wanted an answer") *straightens hair and continues* Alright, Harry,
Harry- I'll bank! *banks 5,000 galleons*
McGonagall- ITS A MIRACLE! THEY BANKED SOMETHING! Anyways, Mr. Potter, staying on the subject of the Holocaust, who was Hitler?
Harry- Oh, well, I know he's a bad guy.....so.....um....Voldemort's Uncle?
McGonagall-NO! HE'S WORSE! HE KILLED MORE PEOPLE!!!
Harry- Oh yeah!! Hitler had a moustache didn't he? Well that makes a difference ....alright, Voldie's MOM!! *Voldemort stands up (he happend to be in the audience) and curses Harry, it, obviously, doesn't work and Voldie gets dragged away by the police saying,"But...but...but the kid was dissin on my mama!"*
McGonagall- No, Potter, no. Mr. Weasly, where did PIZZA originate from?
Ron- um.....my Aunt Samantha?
McGonagall--NO! WRONG! GEEZ! Miss Granger, if a train is going....oh, never mind you'll get it right anyways.
Hermonie- But.....but....
McGonagall- Shush, I am giving it to you for free. Honestly you WOULD be the only one to complain. Ok, Mr. Malfoy.... When was the war of 1812?
Draco- Oh I think I know this one! 1917!
McGonagall- um, nope, you are really stupid aren't you?
Draco- oh, wait, that was the British-American war wasn't it? (aka Revolutionary War)
McGonagall- No, not that either. Mr. Crabbe, Who was the first emporer of China?
Crabbe- *puts a concentrated face on* Um....CHEESE!!!!
McGonagall-NOOO! MY MY MY, DON'T WE HAVE A LIMITED VOCABULARY! Mr. Finnigan, (Seamus- BANK!!! Oh, no wait....) name a Eastern European country with the flag colors....Green, White, and Orange.
Seamus- That would be....
McGonagall- Correct! Miss Patil,
Parvati- BANK! *banks 5,000 Galleons*
McGonagall- Ok, Miss. Patil, who were considered the first people to copy down events onto pieces of 'paper'?"
Parvati- Well, back at the beginning of Civilization, a group called the Egyptains would write down their pharoah's words, orders, or laws onto a sheet of paper called...papyrus. They would also write on walls and statues, and didn't use words....they used hyrogliphics, which can be interpreted today by other Egypatins or scientists.
McGonagall-*yawn* ok, correct. Mr Potter *buzzer rings* well ok, we are out of time for this round. You managed to bank 10,000 Galleons. And now you will all vote for who you think is the weakest link.
Lupin- The weakest link was Crabbe, not coming close to either answer...the strongest link was Hermonie, the only one to answer correctly in a normal fashion.
McGonagall-Alright, Mr. Potter, who do you think the weakest link is?
Harry- Draco
Ron- Harry *audience gasps*
Hermonie-Crabbe
Draco-Harry *snickers*
Crabbe- (Crabbe doesnt have a name on his board, but a crudley drawn picture of Harry) "I don't know how to spell his name," he mumbles
Seamus- Crabbe
Parvati-Draco
McGonagall-Ron, you said Harry...why?
Ron- *sniffs* He said the "V" word.
McGonagall-*rolls eyes, mutters "baby"* Draco, you chose Harry, also....why?
Draco- He needs to stop dissin on my man da big Voldemort! *Ron runs to the bathroom, crying*
McGonagall-OOOhhhhkayyyyy.....Crabbe...you also picked Harry, why?
Crabbe-Becuase he told me he didn't like my pet cheese mold before the game. *wipes tear*
McGonagall- Oh boy. Well, Harry, you are the Weakest Wizard.....goodbye!!!!
*Snape stands up from the crowd and tries to get everyone to do a victory cheer with him....that doesnt work, so he then tries the 'wave.' The crowd responds by throwing 3 dozen curses on him*
*BACKSTAGE*
Harry- I....I didn't know it was coming. Draco, Crabbe....yes. But, Ron? *looks away and wipes tear* I....I thought I meant more to him then a couple thousand Galleons *looks skyward and bites his lip* I just....I just.....*grabs camera and peers into it* I JUST HOPE THAT YOU LOOOOOSE, WEASLY, YOU LOOOOOSE!!!!! CUZ YOU'RE A LOOOOOOSER!!!!!! MWA-HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!
McGonagall- Well, there you have it for the 2nd round. Hopefully, you stiff-legged-worm-headed-sacks-of-money-poop can bring this money amount up a little. *hmph* Cheese indeed.