Part 6
After about ten, fifteen minutes Spike finally emerged from the lower recesses of his soon to be former crypt. He really wasn´t going to miss this place too much. Even for a vampire it had been a tad bit stark, and lacking in amenities. Though he had added a dorm fridge for his beer, and blood, a garden house to wash off with, and had run a power cord from the nearest house to the cemetery for his TV, and lamp. He wasn´t going to miss any of it. He saw no point in taking the bedroom suite below, and the other furniture he had acquired. It had all been salvaged from the dump, or off the curb of the streets before the garbage trucks could get it. Nay, let some other homeless demon have the place, and good riddance. He didn´t have to live in the shadows, now he could full be in the sun. And he was damned if he was going to let miss high, and mighty slayer put him down, or rain on his parade.
When he climbed out of the hole he saw that Buffy had fallen asleep, or at least had closed her eyes. 'Good, she probably needed to´, was his first thought. He came closer and saw that their were still traces of tears on her face. Had they been over him, or something else entirely, he wondered. Considering her earlier mood he decided not to press his luck by asking the source of her misery.
But they did need to get going. The Watcher and her sis still sitting in the car would be beginning to worry, he knew. "Buffy, luv, time to go. I´m all packed," he said keeping a safe distance back. He had learned over the years that waking up the slayer was a job you did cautiously if you wanted to stay intact.
No, response. Not even a twitch. Okay, Plan B.
"Buffy, come on girl, time to rise and shine. We´re done here. Wake up," he said a bit more loudly, then came over and touched her shoulder. The hazel eyes flew open in alarm, and then focusing on him relaxed.
"Spike, ohh, it´s you. Did I crash out?" she asked shaking her head, and sitting up a bit straighter.
"Hard and heavy it looked like. Must have needed to," he told her, staying where he was, and getting a good look at the circles under her eyes, and how tired she really was.
"I guess," she shrugged. "Got everything?" she asked, remembering why they were there.
"Yeah, everything that´s worth anything. The rest I´m leaving for whoever. Too bad I can´t charge rental for all the improvements," he added. "If you´ll carry the bag, I´ll get me TV. Doubt if the Watcher has a spare to loan, and bloody human, or not I´m not giving up my shows. Though if I´m working I´ll probably have the tape the buggers," he grumbled, sliding past her.
Buffy frowned, then shook her head at him, trying not to grin at his obsession with television shows. She stood up as he went over, and picked up a couple of things he had lying on his side table to toss them into the big duffel bag. She didn´t get a good look at them, but it looked like a pair of glasses, a college notebook, and a couple of dog-eared paperbacks. Then he bent over, and unplugged the TV from the orange extension cord and wrapped up the cord for carrying.
Getting a good hold on the old 21" set, he looked at her. "Get the door, luv, and grab the bag and we´re out of here," he told her heading for the door.
Quickly, she did get the bag, and manage to beat him to the door, and open it as he went up the narrow steps leading outside. Buffy followed and they walked back to the car. Almost to the car both of them sensed the presence of vamps before they saw them come out of the hedges by the gate. It was Hannah, and the two males who had been in the restaurant plus three others. Evidently, they had been waiting for them as they stepped out, and blocked Spike and Buffy´s path.
"Moving out, Spike?" one of the ones Buffy didn´t recognize from before asked with a sneer, going into game face.
"Yeah, what´s it to you, Spade?" Spike shot back. "Think you lot would be glad of my moving on."
"In a dust buster we had hoped it´d be. I see Hannah wasn´t pull our leg—you are human now. Love to know how you managed to pull that trick."
"Ahh guys, Slayer here, in case you hadn´t noticed," Buffy informed them setting Spike´s bag down on the sidewalk, and pulling out two stakes.
"Shit, Slade it is the Slayer," one of the other vampires said recognizing Buffy now. "You didn´t say we´d be running into her." The vampire protested backing away.
"Who do you think Spike was running with dumbshit?" Slade glared as he told his minion. "You are brainless," he added hitting the other up side their head.
"Got that right," Buffy said springing into action, and dusting the vampire that had been trying to leave. She then turned, and pounced on another before it too could leave. "Slade, if that is your name, we can do this either hard or easy—leave, and I´ll let the rest of your crew go, or stand here, and annoy me, and get dusted—your choice."
"You´re protecting Spike?" Slade asked, incredulously.
"Yeah, I am. So I gather that your answer is no?" she asked, shaking her head.
"No, we´re going," Slade said, and before Spike could move the big burly vampire swung a booted foot, knocking the TV out of Spike´s arms with a loud crash, then for meanness to finish it put his foot through the screen.
Spike looked shocked for one minute, "What the bloody bleedin´ hell! My fucking telly—you bloody pullock—You´re beyond dead!" and with a roar of rage he went after the vampire who had killed his TV. He was hitting him with both fists, pummeling the downed vampire repeatedly until the guy´s face was a bloody pulp. He felt someone try, and jump him, but evidently Buffy got them as the weight disappeared and he was covered in dust. "Give me a stake, luv," he told her and one appeared in his hand, and Slade was no more. Spike sat back shakily on his knees, and looked around. They were all alone now. "I take it you got them all?" he asked, wiping his bloody knuckles off on his pants.
"All gone. I take it you knew the guy?" she asked helping him stand.
"Former minion of Angelus´. Always hated the bastard. Kept trying sniff around Dru when I was down, and me sire was off tormenting you all. I´ll been trying to get rid of the lot from the factory days. But there are still a few like Slade that have managed to keep out of reach until now," he explained.
"So you´ve been the one picking off the older vampires? I had been wondering why all I kept coming across was fledglings," Buffy commented, eyeing him speculatively.
"Just doing it because I was bored, and trying to make Sunny-D a little safer for the kiddies," he said not really wanting to talk about his activities over the past months. He got up, and went over to look down at his smashed TV. "Damn, can´t have anything soddin´ good around here. That´s a total loss. Let´s get out of here, and get you home. I´ll deal with this mess later," he told her picking up his bag and heading for the cemetery gate.
Buffy fell into step behind him, as the walked the short distance to Giles still parked car. Giles´ looked relieved at their approach. "Are you all right. I heard fighting?" he inquired.
"Some vampires tried to jump us. Some of the bunch from earlier, and reinforcements. They had a grudge against Spike," she said as Giles got out to open the truck to put Spike´s bag in.
"Yeah, they smashed my telly, damn soddin´ pullocks. Now I´ve got to get another. Yours is still working, mate?" Spike asked Giles and saw a slight shocked nod. Spike climbed into the back seat waking up Dawn as he settled in his seat.
"You guys were gone long enough," the girl said sleepily opening one eye then closing it as she settled back the seat trying to get comfortable again by leaning her head on Spike shoulder which he didn´t mind in the least.
"Couldn´t be helped. Former mates of mine had to give us grief as we were leaving, no big. We´ll get you home soon," he reassured the sleepy teenager.
"Good," Dawn mumbled, and closing her eyes as she snuggled against him tuning everyone out.
"Giles, just stop at the Circle K for a minute, and I´ll run in, and get milk for in the morning, we can pass on grocery," Buffy let him know. So Giles drove them to the nearest quickie mart, relieved that it was a couple of hours at the grocery store as it could have been.
Buffy had not expected Spike to get out, but he did. While she picked up some milk, bread and some snack stuff. He picked up some Marlboros, and a six pack of beer. "See you´re still sticking to old habits," she commented as she waited for him to pay for his purchases, wondering where he had gotten the cash from, but deciding not to ask. "Those things really 'can´ kill you now," she added.
"No kidding, Slay—Buff," he caught himself. "After what´s happened to me today you´d think you´d be a bit more understanding. My whole world view has been turned upside down. Like to see you do any different."
"Five, twenty-eight," the clerk told her ringing Buffy´s purchases up looking back, and forth between the two blondes.
"Okay, I get the point. I´m not your momma," Buffy said, continuing her conversation with Spike as she handed the clerk her cash, ignoring the clerk´s amusement at their bickering.
"No, you´re not, and for that I am very grateful," he said, and left what he was thinking about her in his head before he got himself in further trouble. Any other comments he was going to make were cut off by her glare as she grabbed up her purchases, and stalked back to the car. He followed her, and just shook his head because she still had to wait for him to get in before she could.
They finally arrived, everyone, but him got out. He decided to wait in the car because he could tell she was glad to get rid of him, and wasn´t going to be offering an invite in. While Spike waited he popped a top on one of the beers, and took a couple of sips to calm his nerves down. After a couple of minutes Giles came back, and opened his door, "As late as it is getting I suggested to Buffy that you two go do rounds while I´m here, and Dawn can go ahead, and get to bed. That way I don´t have to come back later for her to do patrol," Giles told him.
"She still wants to do patrol—with me?" Spike asked unsure, lowering his beer to the floorboard. He didn´t think Giles would be too happy about his drinking in his new car.
"She was not very keen on the idea, but you are here, and I dislike her doing it alone," Giles told him. "This will also give you a better idea of how your new body is functioning. And take the opened beer with you," he added looking at the former vampire.
"Right," Spike flushed embarrassed, finding out he could blush after all. He drained the beer, grabbed a pack of smokes, and stuck them in his pocket, and then put the empty can in the bag under Giles´ watchful eyes before getting out.
Even when Spike had been a vampire, Giles had still had a hard time thinking of him as anything, but his apparent physical looking age, that of someone around his early twenties. The former vampire may have been over a hundred plus years, but he still acted no older than Buffy, or any of the others. Now he was going to have to help the new human adjust to living again. Though he was desperately hoping that it wouldn´t be as difficult job as it was getting Anya to do so. Spike had at least been pretending to be mortal, and blend in thus he had more of a handle on things than the thousand year old ex demoness. Still, surrounded by all these young people who looked for him for guidance, Giles felt more like the director of a kindergarten than anything else. Though he was seeing signs of growing maturity here and there among them.
"Buffy went upstairs to change, so it´ll be a couple of minutes before she is ready." Giles told him conversationally as Spike got out and they walked back to the house. Spike stopped briefly to light a cigarette, and took a draw on it, and began choking, and hacking much to his embarrassment. Giles just grinned.
"Damn, looks like I am going to have to give 'em up after all," Spike said wiping the tears from his eyes, and ignoring Giles´ amused expression as he crushed the cigarette out on the sidewalk then picked it up so Buffy wouldn´t yell at him. "What no comments?"
"Oh, I could, but you´re doing well enough on your own. Everyone would be grateful if you didn´t smoke, but that´s your choice. You got dealt a brand new body, a new beginning all around, but what you do with it is up to you. So far you seem to be handling the change all right, or have I missed anything?" Giles asked as they sat down on the porch to talk.
"I think I´m handling it okay. It´s all so new, and unexpected, but contary to everyone's opinions I am not regretting this. You´d think I would after being what I was for so bloody long. Thing was I was already going in this direction on my own. I´ve been straddling both worlds so long that I didn´t realize until recently how 'human´ I had been becoming, and how much I was envying the lot of you being able to go, and do things whenever you wanted to, and not have to worry about the sun and getting staked. The only thing I was worrying about is if I was human that I couldn´t help the Slayer, and the kid against this Glory bitch—I´d be more fucking useless than I was. Seems that isn´t going to be a problem which is a blessed relief," Spike said truthfully.
"Yes, it is a relief, and totally unexpected. But I do want you to be cautious out on patrol. This may only be a temporary thing as the vampire elements work their way out of your system, or it could be permanent--- we just don´t know yet. I will start looking through the books, and see if anything like this has ever occurred. I still can´t understand what did happen—are you sure you don´t have any ideas on the subject?" Giles questioned.
Spike blinked a couple of times, knowing that the man was watching him. "Yeah, I do Watcher, but I don´t want to get the kid in trouble or myself…."
Giles frowned at him trying to understand and then it hit him—the Ghora demon. He had wondered where Dawn had gotten the egg for the restoration ritual from. "You and Dawn? That´s where she got the egg from? You helped her?"
Spike hung his head, "yeah, I did. She was out by her mum´s grave getting dirt when I ran into all by herself. Didn´t even know I was there until I spoke. Tried to get her to go home, and forget about the soddin´ spell, and the whole idea of bring her mum back, but she was so determined to do it….Anyways, I took her to this guy I knew of name of 'Doc´ figuring he´d be able to talk some sense into her head that raising the dead weren´t no good idea," Spike explained, feeling the Watcher´s anger. "I mean I did try to talk her out of the whole bit but she wouldn´t listen, and I wasn´t about to let her going running around out here at night by herself."
"So you took her to this 'Doc´—then what?" Giles demanded, reining in his temper.
"He tried talking to her too, but she was determined to bring her Mum back, so he gave her some instructions, and told her she had to get an egg of the Ghora demon to make it work. Then he told us where to find it. Then we left and went to find the beastie. The whole time going there I tried to talk her out of it, but she´s as stubborn as the Slayer is," Spike sighed, wishing he had tried harder, or just knocked the girl out and brought her home.
"Yes, I´m aware of Dawn´s similarities to her sister," Giles grudgingly admitted. "So you found the demon´s lair?"
"We did. Unfortunately, the momma was guarding her eggs which meant I had to go in, and distract it while she grabbed an egg. I didn´t want her even going in there, but she made it clear she was going to whether, or not and with the soddin´ chip I couldn´t stop her, so I was sunk," Spike admitted in defeat.
"So you got the egg and left?"
"Wish it had been that easy. No, she dropped the first one, and she made it clear she wasn´t leaving without an egg, so we had to go, and do it again, and the beastie was mad now. I had a bloody axe, but I couldn´t get in a bit, and then she got through my defenses, and bit me hard in side," he said lifting his shirt to show the Watcher the remains of the bite marks on his side. "But the Nibblet got her egg, and we was out of there. She didn´t know I got hurt as bad as I did. But we made it back to her house, and saw her get in then I went back home. I got most of the beastie´s slime off of me, but she got me good and deep. Think that might be the cause of my turning human?" Spike asked suspecting that the bite did have a lot to do with what had happened to him.
"Possibily, since the Ghora demon eggs do restore life to the dead. It would make sense that the demon itself had life giving properties. I will look into it," Giles said thoughtfully. "Still I can´t condone what you and Dawn did—it was extremely dangerous. What if you both had gotten hurt, or killed?´
"You think I didn´t think about that Watcher? I didn´t want to do it, but I wasn´t going to let her go, and do it on her own, and I couldn´t stop her anymore than I could have stopped the Slayer from doing something when she gets it in her mind to do something. You don´t have to much luck either in that department, so don´t get all down on me. The bottom line was I got her back home safe, and sound. And none of you knew anything at all about this until now," Spike defended.
"Know about what?" Buffy asked opening the door, and coming out on the porch looking at both of them questioningly. Dawn was behind her looking worriedly at Spike hoping he hadn´t spilled the beans, and guessing he had by the looks Giles was giving her.
"Nothing important, Buffy, just Spike adjusting to being human," Giles covered seeing that Buffy hadn´t overheard their previous conversation, but Dawn had by the looks she was giving Spike who was shrugging apologetically.
Buffy looked disgustedly at both men, ignoring her sister, knowing there was something more up but she wasn´t going to find out. "Okay, whatever. I just want to get this patrol over, so I can come home and crash hard. You ready?" she asked Spike who was getting up from where he had been sitting.
"Weapons would be nice?" he suggested, and she threw the bag at him which he caught with a glare. "Thanks," he grumbled, reaching in a grabbing a couple of stakes, and putting them in his pockets.
Buffy turned to Dawn, "I want you in bed and asleep before I get back—understood?"
"Yeah, right," Dawn replied, wanting to get away from all of them. She was already heading inside wanting to avoid having the talk she knew was coming from Giles. "Night, Spike, see you tomorrow," she said and went in.
"Night, Nibblet," he called after her. You ready?´ he asked Buffy.
"Yeah, let´s get this done. Be back later, Giles," she told her Watcher, and saw him go into the house following Dawn then close the door. "Come on," she motioned to Spike with a touch of anger in her voice, and he followed shaking his head still trying to figure out what the hell her problem with him was.
They patrolled in silence which was fine with him. He was still trying to get used to his enhances human senses, and body. His senses were similar to what he was used to, but just slightly different. He could feel more if that was possible, but he did note he wasn´t as quite as sensitive to blood, and heartbeats as he had been before. Though he could still smell the blood, and hear heartbeats, but he had to strain to do so, and they just did not make him hungry as they had. He was also aware of the differences in actual temperature now, and wished he had more than just a t-shirt, and his trench on. It was damn chilly out tonight, and he was getting actually tired of tramping around.
"Can we take a bloody break?" he complained as he stopped then sat down on top of tombstone feeling actually tired.
She stopped her walking, and looked back at him surprised. "You´re tired?"
"Yeah, I´m tired. So I´m sitting. Any objections?" he said shaking his head, and starting to get a smoke out then stopping himself. He just sighed and then sat back with his arms folded against his chest regarding her. "You going keep on giving me the silent treatment all night? If I knew what I did to deserve it…." He asked trying to see if he could get her talk, or at least give him some sort of clue what was going through that brain of hers.
"Nothing," she said quickly, trying to cut off any questions.
"My being human is really bothering you isn´t it?" he asked lifting a scared eyebrow.
"Yes—no—maybe—hell, I don´t know—okay," she said defensively, her arms folded across her chest, looking at some point far, far away rather than at him, trying to desperately to ignore him.
"For the first time since you´ve known me I´m completely safe, and you´re acting like it´s the worst thing—I just don´t get you. And to top it all off I´ve got a bloody soul—complete with all the soddin´ memories, guilt, and the whole bit which is just lots of fun, let me tell you."
"But you aren´t acting all that different—," Buffy replied.
"Am I supposed to? What the big poof put on a show, or something after he got his soul back?"
She looked down at the ground embarrassed, "yeah, he did—I guess. You´re just acting like nothing has changed, like you aren´t feeling any guilt, or anything."
"Is that what the soddin´ problem is? That I´m not bloody doubling over in some kind of pain, or torment because of my quote 'sins´? Ohh, I´m feeling them, and seeing every last one of them racing through my bloody head, but I´m not letting them take me over. I did it—killed people, did horrible things that scare the hell out me now, those are bloody facts that I can´t change, but that is also the past. It happened, and I can´t undo it, and have to live with it, but I don´t have to go around perpetually brooding about it. I had already been changing before I got the soddin´ chip, questioning the whole evil bit, and killing otherwise we wouldn´t have had that truce we had to begin with. Then when those wankers puts the chip in, and I couldn´t kill anything I really had to start doing some serious thinking about my bloody unlife, and what I was going to do with it. If I had been hell bent on staying evil I could have found ways around the soddin´ chip, and feeding´ myself, but I didn´t because I didn´t want to be like I was. I couldn´t get you to understand that, so I kept the front up which I shouldn´t have as it only made things worse," he told her being one hundred percent truthful for once, reaching into his pocket for a smoke, and then deciding against it.
She had sat down during his speech on a nearby headstone, and was wearing a sort of dazed expression on her face as she had listened, and had tried to absorb what he was saying, but it was going to take her awhile to fully accept what he was telling her. 'He hadn´t wanted to be evil—even as a vampire—before the chip?´ That was what she was having a hard time with. He had been making a conscious choice about it? He could go against his own nature? Vampires could change if they wanted to? No, no , no, her mind said because it went against everything that she had been taught, and led to believe.
"So you´re saying you didn´t want to be evil even before the chip?" Buffy had to ask, her disbelief showing.
"Yeah, I am—surprise. Then there was that spell of Red´s—it made me want more out of life. It gave me hope, and impossible dreams," he admitted.
Her eyes flashed angrily at him for bringing 'that´ up, "I am not listening to this, and we agreed never ever to talk about Willow´s spell," Buffy told him, backing away as he stood up.
Spike walked slowly towards her, his eyes never leaving hers, hearing her heartbeat increase as she kept backing away frightened of him. "Why? What, 'cause it embarrasses you to admit that for one wonderful day we were happy together—that the bloody spell let us both admit what the hell we were really feeling? I never forgot that day, and neither did you—admit it, Buffy. Admit that you didn´t think about what happened between us when the rest of the Scoobies and the soldier boy wasn´t around--about how it did feel, and wish down deep inside that it could be that way again. And that´s one of the big reasons why there´s such a strain between us. It wasn´t just because we were vampire and slayer—it was because we did have something between us, and you were too afraid to act on it because of what had happened with Angel, and your friends. Think I couldn´t figure that one out—I´m not that bloody dense." He said with a grin seeing the telltale blush creep up her face, and he knew he was more than dead on about what she did feel or had felt.
"No, you´re not," she admitted. "But this still can´t be."
"Why?" he asked simply, really wanting an answer this time. He looked at her patiently, noting that she looked more like a trapped rabbit than anything else and was ready to bolt.
She swallowed heavily, her hazel eyes large, and frightened as she regarded him trying to figure out what she could say to get him to back off so she could deal with all these sudden changes in him, and new knowledge he kept throwing at her. "Okay, you want a why? It´s because I don´t love you…and I am just not dealing with this suddenly human bit at all. All I know is you-- the vampire, and all the memories that go with that….It is just way too confusing in my head. Can you understand that?" she shot back, finding that anger helped to keep him and her very mixed feelings at bay.
"Yeah, I can, but is that all? Look, luv, if you weren´t all shook up over this I´d be bloody worried," he told her and she looked at him surprised. "I am not expecting you to fall into my arms because of this. You, and I were mortal enemies, and have a lot of not too nice history between us, and most of it´s bad, and I know it. All I´m asking is to give me a bloody chance as a human. My feelings for you have not changed, aren´t going to change. I am here for you for the long haul whether you want me or not—I´m not going to bloody disappear out of your life. Especially right now with that damn Glory lurking about. I will back off, give you space, but I am not giving up on you Buffy, or on the idea of us one day," he told he bluntly but gently.
"But what if I never love you?" she asked warily, unsure how to take his confession of love, and that he was going to stay around no matter what.
He sighed, looking upward, then shrugged defeated a little, "then I will just have to deal with it. Just being around you, to be able to see you, and do normal mortal things is enough for now. At least I can get a tan now, walk with you in the sun light, and you don´t have to worry about me going all evil on you. I know it´s going to take awhile for you, and the others to accept me. I have a lot to make up for with all of you, but I am willing to try if you are willing to too?´ he asked seriously, searching her face for clues as to what she was feeling, and thinking, but all he could see was fear, and confusion.
"Okay, I will try," Buffy agreed with a sigh, and saw a relieved smile on his still pale face.
"Good, that´s all I ask. Come on, let´s get this patrol finished. We´re both tired, and I still have to go get settled in over at the Watcher´s," he told her, and motioned for her to lead the way, and they continued their patrol each lost in their own thoughts.
End Part 6
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