Say No to Me


Disclaimer : I don't own them, no... thanks Sunrise
Pairing : 1+5
Warning : Yaoi, Angst, Heero POV
Explanation : conversation in "-", Flashback in ##Italic##
Plot suggestion : Chi Chi, thanks. I loved your plot very much, but this is all I can do ^^'
Timeline : Within Endless Waltz

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-Say No To Me-
By Kai
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-What is 'War'? -

Since I had been trained to be Gundam Pilot I kept asking this question to myself over and over again. Everyday when I made sure that I still survive, I always brought this question into my brain. Somebody said 'The Perfect Soldier' was the soldier who can do anything without failing, but especially to me, it was just a fake title for threaten the enemy and there were some exceptions ,I can't find any answer to that question, that's the one..

'Peace'? Isn't that opposite to 'War'? But in this confused situation, it seems that the 'Peace' was the main reason why everyone raised for raging 'War', Romefellor said they would build the world 'Peaceful' but in order to do that they must have all the power, so that they could created 'Military Power' as an ideal leader and, hopefully, the leader would bring 'Peace'. Zech's White Fang and Treize's World United raged the 'War' to destroy all the Mobile Dolls, they thought if there was not any Mobile Doll left , Both Earth and Colony they wouldn't want to lead to any 'War.' This could mean the 'Peace' would take place finally. Relena tried very hard to prolong her 'Ultimate Peace' even it was just a 'Fragile Peace' for me. Now, another 'War' just began..

Mariemaia Barton, who claimed that she is Treize Krushrenada's daughter and wanted to succeed his position as a leader of World United. Her declaration of war which I saw with Duo now sent me here to investigate L3X18999, the colony that would be Mariemaia's base..

"Heero, what are you thinking?" asked Duo

"Nothing"

"I called you several times but you didn't answer, we're almost at L3X18999 but there must be a big troop waiting for us and our navigation system is no longer effective"

"I'm counting on you"

"Wow, you know, that's the last thing I'd expect from the Perfect Soldier.." he teased, yeah, I have never relied on anyone
before, but..now I'm too tired..

"Shut up, baka"

"Alright, alright…!!"

Duo managed to get through the big troop of Leos that guards this base, seeming that Sally and Noin did very well in
backing us up, Duo was yelling and cursing about here and there but I didn't listen, my mind was else where..

Another exception of the Perfect Soldier? Well, since.. since.. I met him, I.. I lost myself.. Am I too weak?

##Begin flashback##

In one of Quatre's mansions, since this is the time of peace, we gathered here for celebration and all of us spent time together. We lived as normal kids, that's the one and only thing that I've ever wanted. We have freedom to choose our future and so much time left to dream and so much time to make it real..(*)

Wufei was there, usual calm but somehow he seemed to be radiant in the sunlight. He has some thing that caught me
inside for a long time.. arrogant but gentle.. solitude but charming.. I could just watch him but I can't touch, and I could just loved him but I can't tell..

After Treize's death, he locked himself up and with curse., He always thought that Treize was just a blood thirsty general who wanted to conquer the world for himself, but he was wrong, we all wrong, he was a man who devoted everything to his ideal,… an ideal 'Peace' and to make the world and colony to be the safe home for everyone.. but Wufei just killed him, he felt like he was a stupid tool for Treize, running madly to nowhere in the palm of Treize's hand

I heard him crying during the night, he cried for Treize? I don't think so, he cried for his destiny. Duo told me that Wufei witnessed his own colony being blown up right before his eyes.. It was too hard for him to blame anyone but himself, if I were him, I would be angry with myself as I can't protect my clan, I heard his Dragon clan was there and the tomb for his
late wife was there as well..

-knock knock-

"Wufei.." I called him by the door

".. Who is it?.." I heard him sniff before answer me

"It's me, Heero.."

"Come in.."

I opened the door, his room was dark. He was sitting on the edge of the messy bed, I walked closer to him, his hair was loosed from his usual tight pony tail but I can't see his face clearly..

"You, know, if your mind is overloaded with something, you should talk to somebody like....."

"Like you?" his voice sounded quite sarcastic..

"Yes, I might not be a good listener like Quatre but.. I want to help you feel better.." I leaned to him even closer and I laid my hands on his shoulders.. he didn't protest this so I held his body close to mine. He might felt uneasy but he didn't stop me, he looked very tired and weak. Slowly he drifted to sleep in my arms..

##End flashback##

"Heero.. Heero!"

"What?.."

"You didn't listen to me again, I said we're in. Now get off!"

"Heero, we should take these Leos, just in case we encounter the enemy"

"Aa" I took one of those lined up Leos and we planned to split up and destroy as much Mobile Dolls as we could, Duo head to another direction. I piloted Leos and went deeper in to L3X.. and I found..

Altron..

My heart was stopped.. and the silence continued..

##Begin flashback##

It was late at night, but I didn't sleep. Wufei was still in my arms. I used to dream of this moment and now it became real. If God above didn't hate me that much for killing so many of his children, I want to asked him just one thing.. please let this moment last forever..

He might heard the raging of my heartbeat, so he woke up..

"Wufei.. are you feeling better?"

He tried to move away from me but I held him still, he said "Sorry to be such a burden. I'm ok now.."

"Wufei.. I have something to say to you for a long time.."

"What is it?"

Damn it, be calm.. this is Wufei.. just Wufei..

"I love you" He broke the silence

What? What did he just say? God he said he loved me! "Wufei" I called out "You.. you really mean it?"

"Yes.."

##End flashback##

"Wufei" I called him through the communicator. I was surprised, I searched everywhere to find him, but I didn't expect him to be on the terrorist's side "Why are you here?"

"You have no right to ask me that, Yuy. Now get to our business, I want to fight you for long. Come on!" He attacked me with Altron's light spear. He used to be the most reliable ally in the battlefield and now he is a very tough opponent. I was in Leo, there's no way I could fight with him, the only way was to make him stop. I didn't understand why he betrayed us.

"Fight me, Yuy. I'm serious!"

"Do you have an idea what are you doing?"

"Yes, I know. I'm fulfilling Treize's dream.."

"No, you're not. Treize didn't crucify himself for this war to begin" He's either a stubborn kid or a true warrior who lost his dream and master

"Shut up Yuy! fight me"

I was hit and my Leo didn't work anymore, then I opened the cockpit and asked him "Think about it Wufei, for your action is it right or wrong.." Then there's thick smoke leaked in, even how much I wanted to take him back but this is not right time, he was confused and this is the only chance for me to retreat..

I encountered with Duo later and found Trowa in the control room. Trowa managed to sneak in as a new recruit soldier. We made a deal and I made a contact with Quatre to send Wing Zero back to me because now Relena was captured by
Mariemaia Barton, the war was now inevitable..

I left Duo with Trowa.. now I was alone in the dark cold space, waiting for my Gundam

##Begin flashback##

I was awake.. last night dream was very good, I dreamt that I hold Wufei till his sleep and he wake up in the middle of the night to tell me he love me.. I smiled to myself, but when I looked around.. I was in Wufei's room, Jeez! it wasn't just a dream. I jerked up but he's not here.. the bed sheet beside me was cold, he must have go up for a while. I went down stair and found Duo, Quatre and Trowa talking seriously..

"What's going on?" I asked

"Heero, we just found this note from Wufei, do you know where he has gone?"

What? Wufei left? I grabbed the note from Trowa's hand

'I won't be able to stay here any longer
Don't try to track me down

Tell Heero I'm sorry..'

"What is it, Heero? Was this concerned you?"

I was stunned, Why? He just.. just.. left me like this? What did he think I am? What did he expect me to feel?.. I can't figure out where he left and can't make up my mind why he left..

##End flashback##

Wing Zero.. it was my true partner, if I wanted to shot down the enemy, it shot. If I wanted to fly, it flied. It wasn't just a machine? It must be just a machine but why I can controlled it better than anyone.. Why it complied wothy my order better than my own body?.. And now my true partner was with me again, we headed to earth together..

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The Earth from here was a big blue orb, I was born on colony. Did the people on earth even know how lucky they are.. They not bother dreaming of the clear blue sky nor deep blue oceans.. wind and cloud.. the descent moon nor the rising sun.. maybe they'll never know until they lost them all.

-beep beep-

The Mobile Suit indicator warned me of the approaching target.. that's.. Altron.. Wufei, why you keep fighting me, torture me..

"Yuy." He sent a contact

"Wufei.." I took a deep breath "Did you make up your mind?"

"I've already made up my mind since the day I left, now my mission was to defeat you!" He rushed to me, offended me continuously

"Wufei, why you didn't ever learn.. Treize is dead"

"No!! You shut up Yuy!"

"Wufei.." I tried to calm him, I didn't want to fight him but he keep attacking me

"..His intention now stays with Mariemaia.."

"No, Wufei. Her true intention was just to rule over the world and colony. She didn't even know what Treize died for and what Treize truly want!"

"You lie.." He paused "But if it true, I don't care anymore! What would the warrior do if there's no more battlefield?!"

"Wufei! How can you say that?! Did you totally forget what you fighting for? Isn't it for Peace?"

"You don't know me Yuy. I fight for two things, for Peace and Justice.. now the Justice wasn't served"

"It was served Wufei.. it just wasn't obvious. We'll let it to Relena.. We'll go back home together. And your Question what the warrior would do if there's no more battlefield, the answer was to rest.. You've done so much for this earth and colony, it was time Wufei.. go back with me"

"No!!" He still keeping denying my reason and he aimed his spear toward me. It was useless now, if I couldn't make him go back with me, I'll let him to do whatever he wanted . If my existence bother him that much, then take my life..

He did hit me and I didn't evade. I was falling from the sky to the beautiful blue world underneath. He didn't followed me.
I said to him before I hit the ocean surface "Please go back with me, Wufei. I need you.."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hours passed, I was waiting for Wing Zero to boost up the whole system. It was heavily damaged, but I can't just wait here. The war must have started already. I've been thinking about what is the best way to end the war.. ::Kill Mariemaia::
yes, Mission Accepted.

Now I called out to Wing Zero, asking for it to be my partner for the last time.. I took a deep breath and took off to the sky..

I went straight to Mariemaia's base. I asked her if she still wanted to fight. She said yes and she would not defeated by me or anyone. The only problem was to get through such this strong underground place, the fastest way was to destroy the door. I wasn't sure if Buster Rifle could do it but I had no other choice left. I shot out once, twice.. and Dekim Barton the sub leader who was behind all this plan shown up and threaten me with Relena's presence. But I didn't stop I still shot out. I know Relena was a strong woman. I know she was ready to risk her life and the fact was, Wing Zero didn't have much energy left, if I stop now there'll have no other chance

Now my last shot caused the greater damage, Wing Zero was broken apart, but I can fulfilled my mission after this by myself

"Wing Zero.. Thank you"

I went in the base, my light of conscience was shining dimly but It wasn't over yet.. I kept running and stumbled. I tried to get up "Wufei, are you laughing at me? I might not as strong as you but I'll make you see, I'll reserve the 'Peace' and redeem your 'Justice'.."

When I reached to operation room, Mariemaia was shot and bleeding. She was just a little girl, there's no way she can set up all this plan. I might because of Dekim Barton whom his body was lying lifelessly on the floor. It's time to finished my mission.

I aimed my gun at her "I'll help you" I said

"Yes, thank you" She replied. That's mean she learned her lesson. She was just misled and used as the ladder for a freak old man, now it was over. I pulled the trigger, it had no bullet, I knew that..

"Mariemaia was dead, I don't have to kill anymore.." and my world was faded out, I was so tired.. Wufei, Wufei.. where are you.. ...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

What? The light? Where am I? I looked around myself, it should be a hospital.

"You're awake!" That must be Duo's voice.. Was the war ended? Where is Wufei?

"Where is.. Wufei.?" My mouth went dry, I must have slept for a few days

"Er.. he was here too, do you wanna see him? I'll go call him"

"No, Duo, I'll go"

"Hey, but you just woke up from 3- days sleeping, wait here!"

"I said I'll go" I stared at him darkly, he sighed and helped me getting up. He guided me to the second next room..

-knock knock- Duo knocked

"Wufei, Heero wanna see you so bad, would you let him in?" Jeez, Duo did has a loud mouth, I couldn't stop him..

".. No.."

"Please Wufei.." now I couldn't stop myself too. I can't believe it, I was begging him.. seems like Duo was surprised too, but he left me there anyway

".." He didn't answer but I take that as yes. I opened the door and slipped inside, he's standing by the windows, staring out

"Are you hurt?" I asked

"No"

"Will you stay with us?" I asked again

"I guessed not"

"Why? Because of me?"

".."

"Wufei, you know I loved you, remember? And I still do.."

"That's your problem, not mine"

"But you.. you said you loved me.."

"It just a matter of time, it was my mistake. Sorry if that made you going crazy"

Wufei.. I don't want to believe him, it must be something behind this..

"Then say it Wufei, say it you didn't love me" even I passed so many deadly mission or how much I close to death but this is the moment that I feared the most, 'losing him' this two words are more than I can bear..

"..." He stared out of the window and never moved even a bit, didn't he feel anything?

I continued "If you say it, this will be the last time you see my face, I won't bother you again" I couldn't stop myself, why am I so rushed? it came from my eagerness? maybe, I've been keeping this question since that day he left, he hurted me so much. Even though I know that if I keep it inside me, I still can hope that he didn't really want to left me. I must be a fool if I ask, but I don't want to be fooled because of denying the truth

"..." He still kept his silence, God.. he's killing me.. He's so cruel, far more cruel than I thought. What? Am I crying? Tears.. it just a warm drop of water.. Duo used to said if we cry that's mean we're in the moment of blissful joy or on the other hands, we're suffered too much and we can't express our emotion in words, but for me in this situation, it didn't make anything better, it just taught me what the real torment is..

"Say something, Wufei, please.."

"Heero.. go away from me.. I don't want to see you anymore.." All the time since I entered this room he didn't turned back, he still crossed his arms on his chest and standing there..

"Then say it, say it you didn't love me, I just want those words"

"I hate you, Heero, now go"

"Wufei.."

"Damn it! why can't you just go!" This time he turned back to me, reached me and clutched my shirt tight, he pushed my back to the wall, even it was dark.. yes.., but I was sure that I saw his tears too, did he hurt?, did he feel it?

"Wufei.." I called him lightly

"What?!" he shouted back at me, his voice was hoarse and but it was mixed with sobs, I thought

"You join Mariemaia because you believe that she would bring the peace to this world and colony?"

"Yes"

"You fought by her side because you believed that would bring justice?"

"Yes.."

"You fought me because I didn't agree with your way of peace?"

"Yes..."

"And you lied at that night when you said you love me..?"

"..."

"Wufei.. answer me.."

".. No.." he loosen his grip on my shirt but didn't let go, he faced the floor and his body began to trembling.. He loved me.. now I know, and I will not let him go anywhere again, I slowly pulled him into my embrace, I used one of my hands held his waist and the other to lift his face, I looked deep into his eyes, there were soft, softer than I ever seen, and there's still has a trace of tears on his cheek, I licked it off gently before I kissed him..

"Then promise me Wufei, you're not going away from me again"

fin~

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(*) "..There's so much time left to dream and so much time to make it real.." << this clever line didn't came from my tiny brain, it from Meat Loaf "Objects in the Rear View Mirror May Appear Closer Than They Are" (very long song name ^^') Album "Bat Out of Hell II (Back into Hell)"

Kai: Wow, actually I like 1x5 and wanted to write it for a long time but I just can't come out with the plot, and.. Chi Chi chan ignited me with this, ho' ho' thank you so much (*^_^*)

Feedback please ::sobs::