by VickeyBrickle-Macky/aka Phoenixstitch
Very Definite S/B, Rating about PG 13 or so with warnings of strong language. Later will be R.
Summary: Set around the time of "Intervention" but without the Buffybot, or his torture by Glory as events will make all those events unnecessary. Joyce is dead though. In this story Spike gotten tired of Buffy yelling at him after "Crush" because he doesn't have a soul so there was no way he could feel anything for her. He decides to have Willow give him one. Because of his encounter with the Ghora demon things go a little differently than anyone had intisipated and he not only get a soul but becomes human again. A lot of this so far story has been Spike and everyone getting adjusted to his new status, especially Buffy. Glory gets defeated and is no longer a threat, but the real threat to Dawn and Buffy's happiness and safety will becoming from her father who is coming to collect the two girls in two weeks, selling the house and moving them to LA.
The earilier Parts of this story can be found on my In The Heart of Darkness site at http://fangslover.fanspace.com under Longer Buffy Stories and Noevels. Also on Fanfiction.net whenever they are working. Also check out my new Buffy art work on my site.
Comments, gripes, etc.--vbmacky1@yahoo.com
Part 14
Buffy was sitting on a stool by the kitchen island talking on the phone. Her back was to him, when he came into the kitchen to throw his can away. Feeling his presence, she turned, and quirked an eyebrow at him then she told the person on the other end that she´d see them later.
"Just picking up after myself, luv," he said to justify why he was there as he went past her feeling her eyes watching him the entire time. Walking over to the trash he did throw the can away, then looked back at her uncertain whether to stay, or go elsewhere. It wasn´t easy to tell by her expression. He cleared his throat nervously since she wasn´t saying anything to him, just watching him with an unreadable expression on her face. "Angel said he´s heading back come sundown. Said he´s got stuff to do," Spike told her, leaning against the counter by the sink.
She nodded and sighed, accepting what he had just told her. "I figured he´d bail out. Probably for the best if he does go back tonight," she told him. "*Everything* has to be pretty painful for him. Even though it seems he is accepting all the changes around her better than I thought he would," Buffy said.
"Yeah, he is. Surprised me too," he replied. "And you, …how are you handling the changes?" he had to ask. "You are okay, aren´t you? No going back comatose on us?" he shifted worriedly, looking her over carefully to see how she really was holding up.
He wasn´t sure how she really was after coming back to the world since she had put on her 'everything is fine with the world´ face to everyone since waking up. After being in her head he knew with real certainty that things were still far from being fine with her. She was still just hanging by a thread in a lot of ways. Though it was easing since she no longer had the hellbitch to contend with, and they all were safe from that threat. It was the day to day problems of life that were the hard ones for her. Fighting and dealing with demons were easy. Dealing still with the aftermath of her mom´s death was the real problem for her. He just hoped she would let him help as he had promised her he would.
Buffy shook her head no to his question then answered him. "I´m okay—I think. Recovering from my shut down, and trying to sort things out—especially your visit in my head. Guess, there´s not going to be any secrets from one another—huh?" she asked with a slight blush to her cheeks. "Like you saw parts of me no one knows about. Things I didn´t want anyone to know about. I´m surprised it didn´t scare, or turn you off. It´s not all so pretty in my Buffy head."
Spike smiled reassuringly to her. "Luv, it wasn´t that bad—really. You´re really more together than anyone in your position could be, and still be sane with all you have had to deal with in your life. Your strength and will to survive despite what gets thrown at you by the world are bloody amazing. I also understand a lot of things now because I have the missing pieces to the puzzle that has always been you, Buffy the woman, not the slayer. I can see why you´ve been so bloody angry at me, and how I royally fucked up with you time, and time again. For all those fuck ups, and hurts I do want to apologize for because I didn´t know, didn´t understand what was going on on your side of it all. Can you forgive me for being a first class ass most of time you have known me?" he asked sincerely, looking up at her, his eyes regarding her uncertainly through his glasses.
Buffy looked at the newly human man before her seeing how vulnerable, and different he really was now, and how much the same he still was despite his transformation. Though she was still having a hard time trying to get used to seeing the sandy colored soft curls, the glasses, and the new trendy clothes. The large gothic cross was tending to wig her out as his humanity had not yet completely set into her mind yet. But the voice, that handsome face out of which stared at her with those piercing eyes of his that saw so much were still the same. With a jolt she realized that the packaging didn´t matter. It never really had whether he was vampire, or human. He was still the same no soul, or souled. He was still the man she had been falling in love with for years too, but she had been afraid to admit to loving because he had been a vampire, and she was a slayer, mortal enemies that shouldn´t care about one another, and did despite their natures.
Here he was trying to apologize to her when it she that should be asking his forgiveness for all the rotten, nasty things she had said, and done to him when he hadn´t deserved it. Though there was a lot he had had done quite well on his own to piss her off—lot of her sniping, and anger towards him had been due to other people coloring her mind, and emotions. She felt very guilty, and ashamed for her treatment of him, especially the last months when he had been trying to be good, and change himself—all without help, or guidance by anyone. God—how had he been able to do it alone, especially when she, and the others had made fun of him, and damned near pushed him back into his old ways? Anyone else would have given up, but he had persisted on his new course of wanting to do good despite their rejection of him. No wonder he had seemed unhinged, frenzied at times, and had been so hurt, and angry when his efforts had gotten shot down, or mocked by her, and her friends.
She understood him now too. The spell had worked both ways . While he was wandering through her mind, she had also seen his secrets as well. Though she didn´t think he knew that yet, and she would have to let him know—gently she hoped, that there really weren´t any secrets now between them. Some things she had rather not have known about –like his years with Angelus, Darla and Dru—at least the bloody thirsty parts, and the kinky sex scenes—lots of those. Those were going to take a while to digest. His rage at Angel and Angelus she now understood—that was not going to be fun to work through if it ever could be. But she saw what being a vampire had meant to him, and why he had held the experience in such awe. She really had been a twit when she had dismissed what he was trying to tell her at the Bronze that night—she really should have listened as she did understand now his experiences. She was really going to have to talk to Giles about how wrong they all were about the nature of vampires, or this ex-vampire in particular who had managed to hold on to his humanity despite the demon who tried to take him over.
A large part of William had survived the 'change´. She could see that as she saw the shy, sensitive man he had been, and how he had been forced to create "Spike" as a front to win his place in Angelus´ group, and to survive the daily horrors he had to endure if he wanted to keep 'living´. Now that "Spike" was no longer needed, and he had his humanity back he wasn´t sure who he was, or could be. He was going to have to redefine himself again, and he was scared. More scared than when he had been turned because being evil, and a vampire had been easy, being human, and being a man she could accept, and love was something entirely different. He couldn´t revert to who he had been before—he was too altered by his experiences. He had been trying to redefine himself in terms of his neutered state, but that was as a vampire, and now he was fully human—that wasn´t going to work. He felt like he was going to have to start from scratch to do things right. Inside he was scared because he was so afraid he was going to fuck up, and blow this precious gift he had been given—her love. She was his anchor, his reason for being, and right now he needed her to show him the way, and how to live again as a human with all that entailed.
Buffy met his eyes, and smiled to reassure him before he bolted because her silence after his apology had been so long. "Yes, but it should me apologizing to you too. I need to apologize for dumping all my garbage on you whether, or not you deserved it, or not at the time. You got it full blast a lot of times just because you were just there, and available to take things out on, not because of anything you were really doing at the time. Do you understand?" she asked.
"I do now, and know why you couldn´t explain it. I hope it isn´t going to bug you that I do know things," he inquired cautiously with a raised eyebrow.
"No—not, unless it bothers you that I know stuff about you too. It seems the spell worked both ways. I got into your head while you were getting into mine," Buffy confessed, chewing on her bottom lip worriedly as she saw the shock in his eyes.
"Ohh…bloody hell. You saw—everything?" he asked with a mixture of sheer horror, and embarrassment. His face flushed redly. Depressed at his dark secrets having being revealed, he slumped against the counter, his hands reaching out behind him, griping it to hold himself up. Ashamed, he hung his head down, staring at the floor, not wanting to meet her eyes now. "Ohh, luv, I´m sorry. I didn´t know you´d be able to take a trip through my bleeding memories. You must really hate me now, seeing what I was like, what I did," he said, his voice etched with pain.
"No, Sp-Will, I don´t hate you—actually I´m rather impressed by how 'you´ managed to survive both Angelus, and Dru all those years. And I thought I had it bad. You´ve seen, and done so much, and had so much done to you. I saw the real story of how you got turned—not the edited version in full surround sound, and feel. We are alike—more than I could ever have imagined. The only difference between a slayer and a demon is that I´m alive, and haven´t been turned, but the power—the roots in darkness—they´re the same—they spring from the same source. We´re both…killers," she said, her eyes taking on a haunted, afraid look.
"Luv-v, you were supposed to know that. I wanted to tell you that night, but I knew how the truth would set with you, and I couldn´t let you have that knowledge hanging over your head. You had enough to deal with. You weren´t ready to know. But you protect life—the world. Vampires, demons—they exist only to destroy that life, our world—it´s not the same."
"But it is a demon of sorts within me…that´s what gives me my powers, my strength. You can´t deny it? How come the Watcher´s don´t know? Surely they must after all this time?" she asked.
"Ohh, they bloody know—at least the big boys do. Why do you think that have been so bloody upset about you fraternizing with the enemy, both me and Angel, because they were scared that we´d tell you the truth, and get you to see past their lies as you have been doing on your own. The only reason we do is because Angel cared enough to find out, and question the nature of our existence."
"I saw the two of you researching over the years," she told him, and he nodded.
"Eternal life does get a bit boring after a while, especially when there wasn´t a telly around. One thing I can say for Peaches at least he does have a brain. Having to stay in made him start to use it, and polish off his rough edges so he could move around in polite society. He made me start using mine again too, so I wouldn´t be a bloody useless minion thinking about nothing but blood, sex, and violence. Because he forced me to study, that did make the William side of me stay too. Soon I got caught up in his quests for knowledge, reading and learning more than I had when I was alive. At least we could talk to one another in the old days—the girls weren´t much on intellectual conversations," he sighed. "But Peaches quest was to understand what we were, our true nature, why we existed. He was not satisfied with the pat answers and vagueness he got from the other masters and those in the know."
"And did he find out?" she asked half afraid.
"Dunno. He was going to the gypsies to find out some information when he lost control of the bloodlust, and killed that girl. He got cursed with a soul, and left us. I don´t know whether he kept up his quest after that or not. But I sort of kept up the quest on my own when I wasn´t babysitting Dru after Darla split from us, and went back to the Master. Though my inquiries were more along the lines of understanding what a slayer was, so I could know their weaknesses, and defeat them," he confessed with a blush, looking at her disapproving frown. He looked back at her and scowled, pacing a little his hands moving to emphasis his words. "I mean I was a bloody vampire—know your enemy—was always a sound principle to go by. What I was doing wasn´t any different from the lot of you doing research on some bloody demon. And there are bloody scholars on the other side that keep tabs on the Watchers, the slayers, and this whole other unnatural existence you deal with. Think the Watchers have the corner on knowledge—no hardly. They are so clueless sometimes it´s bloody laughable—at least from the other side—that is," he told her.
"But you got all this knowledge in your head—why didn´t you share it?" Buffy asked watching him pace knowing now that was how he kept his thoughts and emotions in check.
"Do you seriously think Giles would have listened to me? I mean really, luv? The man can barely tolerate me as it is, and if I started volunteering what I know he´d never accept it coming out of my mouth. Even with me being human, he´s still not going to accept anything I say as being true because what I do know contradicts all the lies the Council has been feeding him, and the other Watchers for years," he told her sincerely.
"Maybe he´ll start listening to you if I talk to him. What you know is important, valuable to all of us, especially me, and the slayers that with follow me. No wonder no slayer survives long—damn those idiots on the Council. It´s all because we all have been working with faulty information furnished by the Council," she said a bit angrily especially about the Watchers part in all of this who had colored their reports, and diaries to fit the party line so to speak.
"Maybe Giles will listen, I don´t know, luv. But it comes back to my questions of how you are doing? And if you a okay with me—now that you know me—way much better than I wanted you to know me?" he asked stopping in front of her, looking at her worriedly.
She sat there, hands in her lap, trying to figure out what to say back to him. A lot of his past was very unnerving, and scary to her. He had done horrible, violent things, and had been happy to do them—those images weren´t going to go away soon. But there were the other memories when he wasn´t out doing mayhem of how he took care of Drusilla, and his vampire family. How he had changed since knowing her, and the Scoobies, her family and began seeing people as people once again. How he really had been trying to do right both for her, and for the larger world all alone, without help, or direction. If he was ever going to be able to go forward, and be the man that he wanted to be for her she was going to have to forgive his past, and accept it as past, not present. He didn´t want to hold on to what he had been, so neither should she. This was both their beginning points. Their chance to start fresh in a lot of ways. And it depended on what she said next to him.
She looked up, and met his worried eyes, trying not to think about how blue they were. She had to stay focused, and be honest with him—he deserved no less from her as she told him, "yeah, pretty much I´m okay with things, and myself. Though there a lot about who you were I am not going to think about. I have to accept it, because it was your life, and part of what made you who you are—both the good and bad. At least those psych classes did some good, so I can put things in perspective a little better than I did before," she told him with a slight smile, seeing the beginnings of relief on his face.
"T-that´s good—I guess," Spike replied, still uncertain. "I was a monster. I can´t change the facts or the memories. They hurt now, more than you´ll know, but I can´t spend my life brooding about what I did because I can´t change what happened. If I hadn´t been turned then I wouldn´t be here now with you. And I will never regret meeting you, or falling in love with you," he told her gently. "You are the best thing that happened to me."
"More than you becoming human again?" she asked surprised.
"More than that. Always," he said reaching over, and giving her a kiss on her cheek. "Without you, nothing matters."
Buffy pulled him to her, wrapping her arms around his neck, her emotions threatening to overwhelm her at his simple words. "Sp-Will, I don´t know what to say."
"Say nothing. Just kiss me," he told her looking down into her eyes that were a jumble of her feelings. His own were smoky dark, full of love, wanting, and desire for her as he wrapped his arm around her and bent his head down to kiss her.
She met his lips willingly still trying to reconciling warm with him instead of cool with him, but not disliking it at all. Their kiss quickly escalated to a battle of tongues and lips as their passion rose. She stood up to be closer to him. It was all see could do to not take him right then and there in the kitchen. She wanted him as badly as he wanted her, his hard body pressed up against her left no doubts of his interest, or need of her. "Spike, I love you. I love you so much," she gasped, catching her breath as she leaned her head on his shoulder, trying to stand on her now wobbly feet.
"Buffy, I love you. God, I love you so much," he said against her ear before he pushed himself back a little to compose himself before he did take her. If they had been alone in the house he would have, but he was very aware that her sister, and Angel were still present. "I thought we were going to take this slow?´ he said, smiling down at her.
"I´m trying to—honest. But when you kiss me. Slow doesn´t enter into it," she smiled back. "All I want is you—preferably without all these clothes in the way," she admitted, shyly.
He grinned at her, and raised his eyebrow. "Oh, that could be arranged."
"I know—but Angel is still here, and Dawn. I couldn´t do anything with them here. Then we got to start getting ready to meet the gang at the Bronze," she sighed, moving back from him to sit back on her stool to give them both space to cool down.
Spike nodded, stepping back himself, willing his body to calm down, knowing that there would be time for them later. He´d make sure of it. He´d just have to be patient. He looked over at the kitchen clock on the wall. It was going on six, and the sun was almost down. Angel would be leaving soon back to LA unless he changed his mind about staying for the party. Though Spike really couldn´t wait for Angel to leave, so he could have Buffy to himself without her feeling guilty with the ponce being around.
"We´re meeting them when?" he asked, going over to the sink, and getting himself a drink of water.
"Around seven, seven-thirty. But we can get there earlier if you want."
"Doesn´t matter, whenever we´re all ready. I´m going to go root through my bags and find something to wear, then go take a shower. Unless you want to pick out what I wear and help me dress?" he asked, cocking his head.
She flushed, "no, I think you handle that. Surprise me. I-I mean surprise me in what you´re going to wear," she said quickly, ducking her head because she so much didn´t want to go where her head had been going with images of a naked Spike and her in the shower and their never getting dressed at all if she did help him—dress. Then she remembered him saying something about moving to a motel room instead of going to Giles´. "You still leaving tonight?´ she asked.
"I guess. I didn´t want to impose with you seeing that I´m not broke and all. And I really wasn´t that enthusiastic about staying with Giles. We got along better when I wasn´t in love with you, and I was just a tolerated pest," he told her, waiting to find out what was on her mind, and not hoping too much in case he was wrong.
"You could stay here? We got the room, if you don´t mind staying in Mom´s room. Giles has been staying there off and on so he could be here for dawn when I was out on patrol. This way you wouldn´t have to waste money on a room, since the crypt is out now," she said getting flustered. "I mean, that´s if you want to. I don´t know if you want to, or not. Or if being here with me would bother you since you want to go slow?" she questioned cautiously, unsure now of what she was asking.
"It´s okay. Luv. Yes, I would like to stay, but I didn´t want to somehow mess things up seeing the problems with your Dad, and social services. Not to mention your friends. I may be human, but everyone is still going to be seeing me as I was. And thinking if I moved in I´d be taking advantage of you—not that I don´t want to—but I was trying to protect you, and do the honorable thing by keeping my distance. People still kind of frown on two people living together unmarried, especially with a minor in the house," he told her honestly.
She looked at him confused. "You´re saying no?"
"Buffy, I want to say yes. If it were just you and me—yeah, in a heartbeat, and the hell with what every one would think about it. But there is Dawn to think about, and how it would look. We don´t need any bloody ammunition for your Dad´s lawyers, not if you want to get custody of Dawn. It´s her I´m thinking of. Tomorrow we´re going to go talk to some lawyers, and see what you can do against your Dad. I don´t want you to lose your sis, and I know she doesn´t want to lose you either. I´m just trying to look at the larger picture, luv, that´s all," he told her with a sigh.
She nodded, having to agree with his logic and reasons. She hadn´t expected him to be so noble, and unselfish. But he had been this way before she realized, looking at the larger picture that just himself.
"That doesn´t mean I won´t be around, or over here though. I just don´t want to set up residence here until we get things settled about Dawn, and your Dad. Understand?" he asked.
"Yeah, I do. Thanks, I guess. I hadn´t thought it all out. Yeah, I guess it would look sort of bad. I get questions enough about Giles being over, or Xander. You´re right," she admitted.
"I´m just trying to do what is right, and not mess things up for you. I want to be with you, so bad it hurts, Buffy, but I can´t not yet, because I want it to be right between us. I want to do things the right way. I finally have the bloody chance to make up for all my bad, and I am going to do it so that I am worthy of you," he said.
"Spike, you don´t have to. I know you don´t feel worthy of me, but you are. You really are," she reassured him coming over, and giving him a kiss on the cheek. He was starting to turn into her and give her on of his own when he became aware that they were no longer alone.
"Ah hmmm," came Dawn´s voice from the doorway. "I hate to break up this smooch fest, but aren´t we supposed to going somewhere?" she asked, a smile on her face watching them back away from one another in embarrassment.
"Yeah, right. I´ll just be grabbing some clothes, and taking my shower now," Spike said, grinning at Dawn as he went past her. She just shook her head in amusement at him.
Dawn went over to the refrigerator and got herself a drink. She eyed her nervous sister. "Everything okay?" she asked.
"Yeah, it is."
"You and Spike getting together? I knew you would," Dawn added with a grin really wanting the two of them to get together.
"Maybe, I don´t know yet."
"Is he moving in?" she asked, pressing the issue more.
"No. Said he´ll be staying at a motel. Mainly because of Dad and social services," Buffy explained.
Dawn looked disgusted. "That sucks. And what about Dad? You heard from him? When?" she asked surprised as no one had said anything to her yet.
"Last night. Except it wasn´t him. It was a lawyer calling on his behalf saying that Dad will be here in two weeks to settle Mom´s estate, and to take us back to LA with him. That they´ll be selling the house. Giles tried to argue with him, but it was useless," Buffy told her.
"No, no way. I am not moving to LA. I got friends here. You got friends here. You got your slayer job, Spike, and this is our home—Mom made it for us when Dad left her. He can´t sell it—I won´t let him. And I won´t go with him. I´ll leave first. I hate him. I hate his guts because he doesn´t care about us—not really. He couldn´t even come to Mom´s funeral, or call when she was in hospital. Giles has been more of a dad to us than that man that calls himself our father. Besides, he´s not really my dad—he only thinks he is. Someone is making him do this—I know it—why now? Why after all this time is suddenly concerned about us when he never was before?´ Dawn asked, her voice rising in volume as she got more and more upset.
Buffy had wondered that too. She just hadn´t had a chance to think about it, and wonder why 'now´? Why after almost two months was her father finally surfacing, and not even giving them a chance to discuss any of this personally, or even face to face? It wasn´t right. It wasn´t fair. She and Dawn were just expected to drop everything, their lives, give up their home, and go off to an uncertain life with a man they just barely knew at all any more who most likely wasn´t going to be around that much anyway.
Dawn stood there angrily expecting an answer, and Buffy really didn´t have any to give her. She could only answer her truthfully, "Dawn, I don´t know—really. But I am not giving up you, this home, or lives without a fight. We will find out what is going on—I promise. Spike, and all the guys are going to help us. It´s not a done deal, so please calm down," she told her and saw her sister relax a little before she continued. "What I want you do is go upstairs and get ready. Willow said she got you a new dress to wear. I´m going to wear mine. Tonight we are going to relax, have fun—if any of us can remember how," she said and Dawn giggled.
"Ohh, I think I still remember," she laughed getting into a better mood already. "Is Angel going?" she asked.
Buffy shrugged. "I dunno. I think he´s going back to LA. Things are kind of tense around here," Buffy answered.
"I might stick around for a couple of minutes, if you want me to," Angel answered for himself from the doorway.
"I see you´re up," Buffy said simply, feeling almost sad for him. He nodded back not saying a word just looking at her with his sad dark eyes. She could tell he wasn´t dealing well at all with all the changes in her life. Especially her and Spike becoming a couple. Spike´s new humanity, and love for Buffy had been hard to take, but her feelings for the former vampire in return had been even harder for him to accept.
"I´m going go get ready," Dawn said seeing that the two former lovers needed to talk. She scooted past Angel and left. Neither her sister or the vampire noticed her leaving.
"So, you coming to the party? Dawn wanted to know," she said conversationally.
"Depends. I don´t want to be in the way. This isn´t my place any more, Buffy. Hasn´t been for a long while. We both know it. I don´t fit in, and now you have a chance at a real life—with Spike. God, that sounds really strange coming out of my mouth. Life with Spike. I´ll get over his becoming human again eventually," he laughed a little, as he rambled nervously.
"I´m still not used to it yet myself," she admitted, managing a weak smile back, "but it does make things easier between us. His being a vampire—after my experiences with you, was hard. Because I have to admit I have been in love with him for a while, even though I couldn´t admit it to even myself, let alone anyone else. You and him both were why it never really worked with Riley--he wasn´t monster enough. Then he did what you did—he left. The only one who has stayed, no matter how many times I told him to leave was Spike. He stayed. He will stay no matter what, or how rough it gets."
"I would have stayed if things had been different, and I didn´t have this damned curse. I still love you. I will always love you, Buffy, no matter what," he said coming closer but not touching her. He was afraid to touch or hold her because he knew he wouldn´t be able to let her go if he did.
"I know, Angel. I will always love you too. You are still a part of me. But we just weren´t meant to be even if you didn´t have your curse because you have changed, and so have I. We´re not the same any more. I knew that when you found me at Mom´s grave that it was finally over and that we had both moved on. I felt peaceful almost. I realized that I was finally okay with it. I could go on. I could let myself love again. I let go of you and Riley both that night. I finally realized I had been using him as a substitute for you all this time. I thought I loved him when I never really did. His leaving was a good thing," she said with a touch of sadness and shame.
"And Spike?"
"There is no substitute for him, never was. He and I have been through a lot together, things that only he and I have shared. Willow´s spell brought out a lot of stuff that he and I hadn´t admitted to ourselves before."
"Willow´s spell?" he questioned, not sure whether she meant the one she had just done to bring her back or some other one he hadn´t heard about.
"Yeah, the one about a year or so ago where Spike and I were engaged and going to get married."
"Huh? You—him—married?" Angel questioned surprised and hurt.
"It was just for a day. It was after Oz left and Willow was all upset and did a spell to have her will be done. Anyway, Xander became a demon magnet, Giles went temporally blind and she was mad at me because I was spending so much time with Spike after he got chipped to find out what he knew about the Initative. So the spell on us was for us to get married if I was going to be with him, so much instead of her."
"And…?" he prompted sensing there was more to the story than what she was saying.
"We got rather close—real close. Closer than what the spell was intended. Guess it brought out all kinds of things we both were feeling already. After it was over we kind of avoided each other as much as possible. We didn´t even talk about it until last night," she explained.
"Oohh," he said, letting the implications of what she was really saying sink in. That unless he was wrong Buffy and Spike had had sex during this spell too—oh shit, he thought. A lot of their weird behavior together made perfect sense now. "So you both went on after the spell was over as if nothing had happened? What about Riley?" Angel asked because he knew the soldier was in there somewhere during this time period.
"Yeah, we did. We had to. Mortal enemies and all and my friends, especially after everything we all had gone through with you—I couldn´t let there be anything between him and me. And you were pushing me to find a normal guy. Riley fit the bill—I guess. He kept pushing, and finally I gave in, and began dating him, and everyone was happy."
"But you weren´t, were you?" he asked gently.
"I thought I was, but no—not really. Then Spike started being a total jerk, and it became easy to hate him, and push aside those fuzzy feelings I did have for him. Except the more I pushed, the more he stayed. We´ve had some really nasty fights, and both said things to each other we both regret. But still he´s been there for me, helped me and my friends and Dawn. He understand me, sometimes better than I do myself. I didn´t realize how much I had come to depend upon him until this trouble with Glory started heating up. He protected my Mom and my sister, he fought beside me, and helped Dawn when no one else could. But when he told me he loved me—I freaked because I couldn´t handle being loved again after Riley and you. Because if he loved me he would end up leaving me, and I didn´t want him to leave—not really. By that time I had dismissed what he, and I had shared as a one time fling due to the spell and nothing serious. I didn´t want to acknowledge that I really did have feelings for him that weren´t all loathing, and disgust towards him." Buffy confessed then looked over to Angel to see how he had taken all this.
"But you do love him, don´t you?" he asked.
"Yeah, I do. And this time I won´t apologize for it, Angel."
"Don´t want you to. If he is what makes you happy, then I am happy for you. I mean it. You have my blessing for whatever that is worth," he said looking down at the young woman he still loved.
She gave him a quick hug. "Thank you for understanding. It means a lot that you´re not mad at me or him," she said.
"I´ll never be mad at you, Buffy. Well, I´d best be going. Got to get back to LA. Just let me know when the wedding is," he grinned.
"Wedding?" she looked at him shocked.
"Yeah, there is one in there somewhere, sometime soon," he grinned back at her blush..
"I—I guess," she said, not really wanting to go into Spike sort of asking her last night. There were somethings she rather not say. "It really hasn´t been discussed—too much else going on," she recovered quickly. Then glanced at the clock and saw it was quarter to seven. She had to go get dressed. "So, if you´re not going then I guess it´s goodbye for now," she said, walking in the direction of the front door.
He nodded and followed her. Neither Dawn or Spike were in sight. "I´ll tell them your goodbyes," she said opening the door. Spike and Dawn were both sitting on the front steps talking, they looked back at Buffy and Angel.
"Hey, Peaches, think you can give us a lift to the Bronze before you go?" Spike asked.
"Yeah, no problem," he said looking back at Buffy. Who was motioning to Spike that she still had to go upstairs, and get ready. She left hurriedly with Dawn getting up, and following her sister so that two men could talk alone.
"Great," he said, wanting to have a few final words with his ex-sire. "Have a seat," he added motioning for the bigger man to sit down.
Spike lit a cigarette. Even though he had promised himself he was going to quit, after he had had to calm down Dawn about her dad, he needed one. The girl was upset, and rightly so. This thing with her dad was more of a threat to her than Glory or any demon. "Dawn was filling me in on some stuff about her dad. I need you to find some information out for me on him so we know what we are bloody well dealing with. Especially his lawyers, who they are, how hard they are to work against—got it?"
"Got it. Do you know which law firm?" Angel asked. Giles hadn´t said when they were talking earlier, but he had filled him in on what was happening.
"I think it´s something like Wolf and Hart, or something like that. Giles scribbled it down and it´s hard to read his bloody handwriting even with glasses," Spike complained, taking a scrap of paper out of his coat pocket, and holding it out to try to read it by the light of porch light.
Angel startled at the name and cold chills went through him. "Let me see the paper," he asked his former childe and Spike handed it over. He had no trouble reading Giles´ scrawl. It was Wolfram and Hart. He had a sinking feeling in his stomach. This was not good. Not good at all if this bunch were involved with Buffy and Dawn. This suddenly was becoming much more than just a simple parental custody case after the death of a spouse.
Spike saw that Angel had gone silent and a few shades paler after looking at the information Giles had written down. "What? Somethin´ up. Spill," Spike demanded.
"This is bad news if this bunch is involved with Buffy´s father. This is the same law firm I have been fighting in LA. They use dark magicks. Their senior partners all work for the side of darkness, and to work for them you have to sell your soul. They´re the ones that mojoed Darla back from the dead, and brought Drusilla back to revamp her. Now do you understand?" Angel told him as calmly as he could.
"Shit!´ was Spike´s response, his eyes wide, and frightened behind his glasses. As everything that Dru had told him clicked into place about her new friends that were taking such good care of her, and Darla. "You´re sure of all this?" he asked hoping Angel was wrong. They didn´t need trouble like this.
"Positive. I been dealing with this bunch for over a year now. They´ve been trying to turn me to the dark side, and damn near succeeded. They probably know everything there is to know about both Buffy, and Dawn as well as everyone here. Nothing gets past them. Her father may, or may not have a clue about his daughters or about the lawyers. But I know if Wolfram and Hart are involved, they want to get their hands on the girls, and use their powers for their own ends," Angel told him grimly.
"Fuck!" Spike swore, upset now, and afraid for his girls in a way he had never been before. "Got any ideas of how to fight these bastards, and get them out of the picture?" he asked, trying to stay calm, and think.
"Not yet, but I´ll work on it. First we got to find out how tight Buffy´s father is with this group, and then we can go from there," Angel told him, knowing that wasn´t much help, but that was the best he could do until they had more information to work with.
"But don´t take bloody long in finding out. We´ve only got two weeks until her father shows up to take them away unless we can stop them before hand," Spike warned him not noticing Buffy and Dawn coming up behind them and hearing some of the conversation.
End Part 14