"Mary Sue Snape" by bluemeanies (yes, I mean no your blueness)
It was a dark and stormy night at the beginning of Harry's fifth year. When all the students arrived at Hogwarts for the feast they were surprised to find that in addition too the first years, there was another student waiting to be sorted. A girl about his age. A young, very beautiful girl with ebony hair flowing all the way down her back. All the guys in the hall couldn't take their eyes off her. Hermione was trying very hard to keep Ron from staring at her, then decided to forget about it and spend Christmas in Bulgaria with Victor Krum. Ron was hopeless.
After the first years had been sorted, Dumbledore introduced this gorgeous specimen of femininity. "Everyone, this year we are accepting a transfer student from Durmstrong academy, Mary Sue Tempestia. She will be in her fifth year, and will now be sorted into a House... Mary, please sit down."
When Mary put on the hat it shouted "Gryffindor" almost immediately. Dean and Seamus were drooling too much to cheer, and all the other Gryffindor guys were cheering wildly. Hermione on the other hand was staring at her with daggers in her eyes. Snape, if anyone would have noticed, taking their eyes off the green eyed vixen was wearing an expression of shock and malice. He got up and walked to his office, leaving the feast.
Classes started the next day. Everything was going fine (except, of course that Hermione was not talking to Harry or Ron anymore, but they were too busy trying to impress Mary Sue to notice). Mary Sue was excelling in everything. In transfiguration, when they were supposed to turn a birds egg into a jeweled egg she had produced a creation that had outshone a Faberge, gaining 30 points for Gryffindor. She was so good at flying that she had been offered a position of chaser on the Gryffindor team. The world was Mary Sue's oyster until Double Potions on Friday.
Mary Sue had decided to sit next to Neville Longbottom, because she had heard he was bad at potions and wanted to help him, even though she was almost as nervous as him at her first class with Snape. Harry and Ron sat immediately behind them, cursing Neville's luck. Draco Malfoy actually sought to work with a Gryffindor for this lesson in order to be closer to Mary Sue and was working with Lavender.
Snape entered the class room. He started a lesson on a Levitating Draught. His first question to the students was directed to Mary, "Miss Tempestia, what ingredient do you add after the griffin feathers?"
"Turtles liver, professor"
"Wrong, you add pickeld turtles liver Mary. You are a disgrace to your family to be in Gryffindor and doubly a disgrace to be such a lousy potions mixer."
Mary Sue looked as if she were about to cry.
"And 50 points from Gryffindor for that deplorable emotional outburst."
Mary Sue ran out of the class. Harry, Ron, Draco, Seamus, Crabbe, Goyle and Dean went off to look for her, but she had disappeared. They split into two groups, with Crabbe, Goyle, Dean and Seamus searching the East side of the castle while Ron, Harry and Draco searched the West side.
They found her in Moaning Murtles bathroom, crying her eyes out. Harry said "What's wrong? You don't need to worry about him, he's just a mean slimy git."
"But I do need to worry. It's hideous. But I shouldn't tell you, he made me promise to keep it a secret." Mary Sue replied.
"Come on, no secret could be worse than having an evil death eater for a father." Ron told her.
"Weasley, how dare you insult my family. But whatever is the matter can't be worse than not having two knuts to rub together like some people I won't mention." Draco responded.
"Bring it on, Malfoy." Ron yelled at Draco. Ron and Draco started wrestling on the floor. Harry, however, had gone to comfort Mary Sue.
"Come on, you can tell me why Snape hates you so much. It can't be that bad."
"He's my father." Mary Sue replied. Harry was suddenly reminded of the scene in star wars where Darth Vader tells Luke Skywalker that he is his father but it didn't really matter. He was already head over heels in love with Mary Sue.
"Well than why does he hate you. I would have thought if he liked anyone it would be his own children." He said as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder.
"I have always been a bit of disgrace to my father, but he was really upset when I got put into Gryffindor. He also tries to avoid me because I remind him of my mother, Tempestia Riddle, and my grandfather Tom reminding him that he is evil. Which he never likes." Mary Sue sobbed onto Harry's shoulder.
Harry was shocked. "Volde... I mean You-Know-Who is your grandfather... Well it doesn't matter I love you anyway."
"Kiss me Harry" she whispered to him and they kissed until long after Ron and Draco had left, disappointed and very bruised.
The next day, Voldemort, having heard that his Grand daughter was now attending Hogwarts and dating Harry Potter from Wormtail, who had been spying throughout the school, decided to attack.
Mary Sue went out to meat him and with a skillful imprisonment spell she captured him and sent him to Azkaban where he was given a dementer's kiss. After that everyone built a shrine to Mary Sue and the boys spent all their time trying to get her to break up with Harry, and then Draco, and then Ron, and then Seamus, and then Cho Chang, and then Lupin, and then Sirius Black, and then Dumbledore until Hermione had a plan.
At breakfast the next day she snuck up behind Mary Sue and killed her with Avada Kedavra. Then she and the rest of the girls put the boys under the Imperious curse and changed Hobwarts into and organic agricultural collective. The boys would work all day plowing the Quidditch field, and then spend the nights as loveslaves to the lovely ladies. Hermione finally had her Ronniekins and Ginny could have wild threesomes with Draco and Harry like she had always dreamed.
The End... Or is it
Nah, it really is The End
Disclaimer: JKR owns all these characters and I beg for her forgiveness for the torture I have put them through.
It was a dark and stormy night at the beginning of Harry's fifth year. When all the students arrived at Hogwarts for the feast they were surprised to find that in addition too the first years, there was another student waiting to be sorted. A girl about his age. A young, very beautiful girl with ebony hair flowing all the way down her back. All the guys in the hall couldn't take their eyes off her. Hermione was trying very hard to keep Ron from staring at her, then decided to forget about it and spend Christmas in Bulgaria with Victor Krum. Ron was hopeless.
After the first years had been sorted, Dumbledore introduced this gorgeous specimen of femininity. "Everyone, this year we are accepting a transfer student from Durmstrong academy, Mary Sue Tempestia. She will be in her fifth year, and will now be sorted into a House... Mary, please sit down."
When Mary put on the hat it shouted "Gryffindor" almost immediately. Dean and Seamus were drooling too much to cheer, and all the other Gryffindor guys were cheering wildly. Hermione on the other hand was staring at her with daggers in her eyes. Snape, if anyone would have noticed, taking their eyes off the green eyed vixen was wearing an expression of shock and malice. He got up and walked to his office, leaving the feast.
Classes started the next day. Everything was going fine (except, of course that Hermione was not talking to Harry or Ron anymore, but they were too busy trying to impress Mary Sue to notice). Mary Sue was excelling in everything. In transfiguration, when they were supposed to turn a birds egg into a jeweled egg she had produced a creation that had outshone a Faberge, gaining 30 points for Gryffindor. She was so good at flying that she had been offered a position of chaser on the Gryffindor team. The world was Mary Sue's oyster until Double Potions on Friday.
Mary Sue had decided to sit next to Neville Longbottom, because she had heard he was bad at potions and wanted to help him, even though she was almost as nervous as him at her first class with Snape. Harry and Ron sat immediately behind them, cursing Neville's luck. Draco Malfoy actually sought to work with a Gryffindor for this lesson in order to be closer to Mary Sue and was working with Lavender.
Snape entered the class room. He started a lesson on a Levitating Draught. His first question to the students was directed to Mary, "Miss Tempestia, what ingredient do you add after the griffin feathers?"
"Turtles liver, professor"
"Wrong, you add pickeld turtles liver Mary. You are a disgrace to your family to be in Gryffindor and doubly a disgrace to be such a lousy potions mixer."
Mary Sue looked as if she were about to cry.
"And 50 points from Gryffindor for that deplorable emotional outburst."
Mary Sue ran out of the class. Harry, Ron, Draco, Seamus, Crabbe, Goyle and Dean went off to look for her, but she had disappeared. They split into two groups, with Crabbe, Goyle, Dean and Seamus searching the East side of the castle while Ron, Harry and Draco searched the West side.
They found her in Moaning Murtles bathroom, crying her eyes out. Harry said "What's wrong? You don't need to worry about him, he's just a mean slimy git."
"But I do need to worry. It's hideous. But I shouldn't tell you, he made me promise to keep it a secret." Mary Sue replied.
"Come on, no secret could be worse than having an evil death eater for a father." Ron told her.
"Weasley, how dare you insult my family. But whatever is the matter can't be worse than not having two knuts to rub together like some people I won't mention." Draco responded.
"Bring it on, Malfoy." Ron yelled at Draco. Ron and Draco started wrestling on the floor. Harry, however, had gone to comfort Mary Sue.
"Come on, you can tell me why Snape hates you so much. It can't be that bad."
"He's my father." Mary Sue replied. Harry was suddenly reminded of the scene in star wars where Darth Vader tells Luke Skywalker that he is his father but it didn't really matter. He was already head over heels in love with Mary Sue.
"Well than why does he hate you. I would have thought if he liked anyone it would be his own children." He said as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder.
"I have always been a bit of disgrace to my father, but he was really upset when I got put into Gryffindor. He also tries to avoid me because I remind him of my mother, Tempestia Riddle, and my grandfather Tom reminding him that he is evil. Which he never likes." Mary Sue sobbed onto Harry's shoulder.
Harry was shocked. "Volde... I mean You-Know-Who is your grandfather... Well it doesn't matter I love you anyway."
"Kiss me Harry" she whispered to him and they kissed until long after Ron and Draco had left, disappointed and very bruised.
The next day, Voldemort, having heard that his Grand daughter was now attending Hogwarts and dating Harry Potter from Wormtail, who had been spying throughout the school, decided to attack.
Mary Sue went out to meat him and with a skillful imprisonment spell she captured him and sent him to Azkaban where he was given a dementer's kiss. After that everyone built a shrine to Mary Sue and the boys spent all their time trying to get her to break up with Harry, and then Draco, and then Ron, and then Seamus, and then Cho Chang, and then Lupin, and then Sirius Black, and then Dumbledore until Hermione had a plan.
At breakfast the next day she snuck up behind Mary Sue and killed her with Avada Kedavra. Then she and the rest of the girls put the boys under the Imperious curse and changed Hobwarts into and organic agricultural collective. The boys would work all day plowing the Quidditch field, and then spend the nights as loveslaves to the lovely ladies. Hermione finally had her Ronniekins and Ginny could have wild threesomes with Draco and Harry like she had always dreamed.
The End... Or is it
Nah, it really is The End
Disclaimer: JKR owns all these characters and I beg for her forgiveness for the torture I have put them through.