Hey everyone! Congratulations, you have reached installemant 2 of my second fan-fic, which has been duly filed under humour again because I'm at a loss where else to put it! But anyway, get down to the fic already! Here comes part 2.....P.S please review it if you have the time! So, where were we.... Ah yes.....
(Harry, Ron and Hermione, still slightly dazed, headed quickly off towards the path that would take them to Hogsmeade. And they might have got away without hearing Proffessor Snape sing again, too, except -)
Part 2: (- that almost the last person they wanted to see or hear, ever, but especially when they'd just knocked out a teacher, had just strutted into the library. Draco Malfoy, flanked by Crabbe and Goyle, was just behind them. They froze in their tracks...)
Malfoy: (snearing as usual) What CAN be going on here?..(Malfoy peered down the corridor, and caught sight of Harry, Ron and Hermione. He looked as though Christmas had just decided to come early.)
Malfoy: Oh-hoh! I see! Well, you have got yourselves into a spot of bother, haven't you, Potter and 'chums'? You know how I'd hate to make things any WORSE for you, but I can't help thinking that Proffessor Snape might be the best person to sort this out! ENERVATE!
(Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle chuckled gleefully, and, as Snape came to, made themselves scarce. It occured to Harry to run for it, but he found that his feet were glued to the spot. Snape was getting to his feet. Ron gulped. Hermione seemed to be trying to pretend she didn't exist. And failing. Snape was towering above them now, and appeared to be in the type of rage that Harry had never seen him in since his third year, where Snape had lost his temper so badly, trying to get Harry expelled as he lay in the hospital wing, that he had convinced the Minister for Magic himself that he was somewhat deluded...Snape bared his teeth, eyes flashing, and opened his mouth to yell,)
Snape: WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?! Why do I find myself on the floor of the library -
Ron: (gloomily) Damn...He's got his memory back, then!
Snape: NEVER INTERRUPT ME WHEN I'M TRYING TO EXPELL YOU, WEASLEY! As I was SAYING! For this ABYSMAL crime you can only be reasonably punished by EXPUL-
( Just as Snape was getting to the point, a mysterious thing happened... Harry, Ron and Hermione recognised immediately what was happening, and for the first and last time in their lives, they couldn't help but be thankful to mouldy Voldey...Snape was gazing, smiling with a cherub-like countenance, at the library ceiling, and a snippet of tune was winding its way slowly into their hearing.)
Ron: Oh, YES, this is going to be fun!
Hermione: RON!
Harry: Hey look! (Snape was opening his mouth to begin) Showtime!
(With a twirl of his wand, Snape ups the volume on 'Slim Shadie...'
Snape: ( Standing over Harry, Ron and Hermione menacingly and scowling)
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Proff. Snapie please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Proff Snapie please stand up?
We're gonna' have a problem here....
(Snape began pacing up and down the library, cloak swishing, and making Eminem-type hand gestures. Ron was having trouble controlling his laughter.)
Hermione: Shhhhhh!
Snape: (rapping to er, 'tune' of Slim Shady)
Potter acts like no-one ever hated him before,
but I make the law, and I'd like to wipe his face on the floor! (Yo! Wassup?!)
He thinks he's so great, he finds potions a bore -
Ron: (sighs tragically) Don't we all!
Snape: (irked) -Well he should watch it or I'll have his butt out the door! (all-riiiiiiigght!)
It's the return of the - oh wait, no wait, he's a fool! (Jiggy, jiggy)
Struttin' round, messin' up, thinkin' he *owns* he school!
And everyone says ' awww! That's sweet, he got his mothers eyes!'
Well I don't care if he's got mine - the brat just tells me lies! (huh!)
When will the whole world stop lovin' him? Never, then?!
Ooh, Harry Potter I'm sicka' him!
Look at him, reminds me of his father so much I always hafta' blink.
But hey, let's not go there now - he was another fink! (hehe!)
To all the teachers here the little git can do no wrong (uh-huh!)
They even turn a blind eye when he speaks that parseltongue! (Oh yeah!)
And Dumbledore suggests again the deal might not be big.
I say, 'yeah right, your headship *Sir* - hey look, a flyin' pig!...'
The kid is on my nerves, the kid is on my nerves,
I live in hope that one day he will get what he deserves! (Bwahahaha! Evil cackling!)
Potter, Weas-e-ley and Granger always do what they want to. (Mm-hm!)
Some day I'll split that dream-team up -Damn him! And damn her too!
( All the time this was going on, Harry and Ron were in various states of collapse, and Ron was dancing around behind Snape shouting 'Put yo' hands up!' and annoying Hermione, who was still politely listening to the 'song...')
Snape: (Chorus) Weeeeeeeeeeell, I'm the Evil Snapie, I'm the real Evil Snapie
I'd like to kick out Potter, who gets quite irritating ,
So won't the real Evil Snapies please stand up, and be proud to be greasy haired swine, who're outta their Minds, and one more time how does it Go-oooooooo?!
( Sadly Harry was deprived of hearing 'how it Go-oooooes!' again, because Snape seemed to have forgotten himself. He was holding his heavy head in his arms, and the music was starting to sound scratchy and far off. He was getting back to normal....)
Ron: (laughing) God that was awful, wasn't it?! Even worse than last year! (He spots Snape) A-ha...W-oah-dear! It's wearing off! We'd better get out of here quickly this time!
( Pausing only to collect the food and drink they'd left on the table, Harry, Ron and Hermione scarpered out of the library, before Snape could wake up enough to give them a years worth of detentions, and sped off down the corridor. As they got out of sight of the library, and slowed to a walk, panting, Hermione looked at her watch.)
Hermione: Hmmm, you know, we should get up at this time every morning!, it's still only 9:15! We can still get to Hogsmeade just after opening if we go now!
Ron: Aaaahhh! The nose biting tea-cups are calling me!
( They headed out of the castle doors, wrapping their cloaks tighter against the chilling wind, which was whistling through their hair, so that Hermione's, which was sticking up at all angles and trapping all the falling leaves, was making her resemble a strange sort of electrocuted wood nymph... Close together for warmth, they half walked, and were half blown, out of the great, cast iron gates, and onto the path that led to the village of Hogsmeade.)
* * *
( Having done their shopping, Harry, Ron and Hermione approached the Hogsmeade post-office at about 10:45 , where they were overjoyed to find themselves being greeted by what appeared to everyone else to be a large, bounding, stray dog, which had been curled up quietly outside the Three Broomsticks with a copy of the 'Daily Prophet' in its mouth, and its head on its paws. Thankfully for the workings of my so-called 'plot ,' Harry, Ron and Hermione recognised it as Sirius....)
Harry: (patting the dog's head and whispering) Hello Sirius! We really need to talk, but obviously not here.... Can we still use the cave??
(The dog , pretending to yawn lazily, made a definite nod.)
Ron: (angrily) Oh 'Snuffles!' Isn't it time you found a new home?! I've been carrying this heap for hours! (Ron gestured towards the food and drink loaded into his school bag. If the dog hadn't been a dog, you would have sworn it was grinning...Nudging Ron with its damp nose, the dog made him pass it the bag , and tossed the paper in. Wagging its tail furiously, it barked once, and trotted off up the steep, tiring mountain path that led to Sirius' old hide-out, the mountain cave he shared with Buckbeak the escaped Hippogriff. Almost an hour later, (an hour filled with Ron's grumbling and the others' panting), the three humans and the dog arrived at the camouflaged entrance to the cave. They tumbled in gratefully, and sank down onto the floor, exhausted. Sirius at once transformed back to his ordinary self, and greeted them, still panting.)
Sirius: Well, well! What brings you here so urgently? I'm guessing it wasn't just the pleasure of my company, Harry?
Harry: Oh, um, actually it was pretty much! (Harry had, apparently, completely forgotten the legitimate reason for their visit to Sirius) Have you been getting my owls O.K? I've been a bit worried since the end of last year that something might come up for you, after everything Dumbledore said, and that you wouldn't be here anymore!
Ron: Well, no more fear of that, Harry! Same old blister-making climb as before! Here's your food, by the way Sirius. I know there's some bread in there, see if you can find it....Aaaah! My aching arms! Good thing I thought to bring US some extra food! (Ron turns several cheese sandwhiches, three remarkably unsquashed cream cakes and a large bottle of butter-beer out of his pockets) I'm starving! I tell you, I could eat a Hippogriff!
(Buckbeak makes a shocked squawk and rustles his feathers angrily)
Ron: (Rolling his eyes) Oh, not you!
Sirius: (rumaging for an apple, biting into it noisily, and offering several large bones to a delighted Buckbeak) You know, Harry, you weren't far wrong when you wondered if I'd still be here...Dumbledore's just found me a new place to stay, as part of what I've been doing for him, but I haven't found out where it is yet. I'll send word by owl as soon as I hear anything. (he grimaces) Can't be worse than this, that's for sure!
Harry: Sirius, is there any reason why you couldn't just stay with Dumbledore, and transform if there ever looked like being any trouble? He could just tell people he adopted a dog or something! It happens all the time!
(Hermione, who had been sitting in silence for the past few minutes, was now on her feet, looking as though she couldn't contain herself any longer....)
Hermione: (shouting) HELLO, reality to Harry and Ron! Do you hear yourselves?! Excuse me for reminding you of the BAD NEWS here, but we need to tell Sirius about what's happening down at SCHOOL! I can't BELIEVE you two! Without me you could have TOTALLY forgotten that we've got a V - That we've got a - a
(Hermione seemed to be having trouble getting her words out. Her face wore a look of confusion, and no-one could understand what she was talking about. Sirius, Ron and Harry rushed over to her in concern, and Sirius, kneeling down, questioned her urgently)
Sirius: Hermione! Are you O.K?? What's the problem again? We've got a what?!
(Harry, desperately waving his hand in front of a dazed Hermione's face, in an attempt to wake her up, muttered distractedly)
Harry: We've got a Voldemort crisis....
Sirius: What?!
Ron: (yelling) WE'VE GOT A -
Hermione: ( head lolling, and spluttering) VOLDEM -M-M
Harry: (also shouting) -MORT CRISIS!!
( Just at the moment that the three of them finally managed to make Sirius understand what was going on, it became horribly plain what had been the matter with Hermione. For not the first time, Sirius' cave was shaking, filled with music. Muggle music....The song was -)
Sirius: (clutching his ears in pain) I WILL SURVIVE?! God that is one sick sense of humour he has!
Ron: Ha! Guess he's something of an karaoke fan!
( Before Harry had time to reply, Hermione had begun her song, and had leapt up onto a rock, tossing her hair around and striking a tragic pose. Harry, Ron (who quickly began rummaging in his bag), and Sirius, watched in the knowledge that there was nothing they could do...And anyway, what a shame to miss this opportunity!)
Hermione: (to the tune of 'I will survive!')
We were afraid, we were petrified!
Kept thinking Harry'd never live with Voldey by his side.
But Harry spent so many nights just thinking that he'd really gone,
and he grew strong, and we learned how to get along!
So now he's back, and Wormtail too,
and as we speak they could be finding their death-eater crew!
So Wormtail thinks that this is thanks?!
We would have fed him to Crookshanks!,
if we had known for just one minute
he'd be playing evil pranks!
Go on now, go! Get out of here!
Or I'll get Sirius to bite you fight there on the rear!
Sirius: What?! No chance!!
(A clicking, whirring noise can be heared from somewhere in the cave, but Hermione, oblivious, sings on):
Weren't you the one who tried to make Harry 'Bye-bye?!'
Did you think we'd crumble? Did you think he'd lay down and die?
Go on then, try! He will survive!
Oh, as long as there are good guys Harry must remain alive!
He's got all his life to live, he's got all the love we give,
and he'll survive, and we'll survive! (Hermione began dancing around the cave enthusiastically) Yeah, yeah! Heh, heh, heh!
(She stops, to ressume the 'heartfelt' expression!)
It took all the strength he had not to fall apart,
when you took the thing most dear to any child's young heart,
and yes, he spent so many nights wishing you'd died when this began
- many would cry, but Harry holds his head up high!
You should know he's, somebody new!
He's not that tiny little baby still at risk from you!
He nearly killed you,Voldemort, and now just think what he's been taught -
he just kicked your snakey butt, and you left him with.....A cut?!
So bring it on! (Hermione sang louder and louder, and began punching the air, causing everyone to back off, as she missed Sirius' nose by centimetres... - 'Aaah! watch it!!' -) We're much too strong!
You know you'll never win while we still have this kick - **** song!
Why don't you bring your buddies, mate?
You know you're in a hopeless state!
We could rid the world of evil and be at the feast for 8!
YEAH, YEAH, HEH- HEH- HEH! (Hermione, eyes closed, disco music still crashing 'round the cave at rock-concert volume, launched into further 'Yeahs!' and 'Hehs!', now dancing on her rock once more, but then, as the music began to fade and dim, and the strange clicking noise finally stoped, Hermione came to her senses, toppling dizzily off her rock, and into an astonished Ron's arms. Ron almost threw her to the floor in his attempt to stop her injuring something he was holding. Was it another cream cake?! No! Closer inspection reveals it to be........)
Harry: (prising Ron's arms open) A camera? Ron, how could you?!
Ron: (chuckling gleefully) I've been carrying it around for AGES! Don't you remember me promising last year that next time I would get evidence of Hermione in full song? Well now I've done it at las-
Hermione: (shrieking) RON!!!! How could you?!
Ron: Quite easily, as I said! What is this, guilt-trip Ron day? You have no idea how funny you looked Hermione,-and CORNY- but I'm sure you'll appreciate the joke better when you actually SEE -
(Ron's self-defense was interrupted by Sirius, ever the practical one...)
Sirius: O.K, well, we can always fight about that later, but right now, I think we have to concentrate on the matter in hand... We should leave to find Dumbledore right now! I'll come with you down to the school, as fast as we can.... (turning to Buckbeak) Now you stay here, O.K, Beaky?
(Buckbeak, who had become very attatched to Sirius, whined softly, but curled up resignedly with his gift-bones as the others rushed out of the cave, leaving Buckbeak, now happily chewing, as a ferocious guard to all the delicious food they had left behind.)
Aaaaand that's the end of part 2 of this increasingly more unlikely looking one-part fan-fic! Thanks for reading it, and I hope you enjoyed it! I'm going to have to go and write part three, so more of the same story will continue there! This should be the concluding part, I think, but then, you never can tell! ;-D Thanks again, guys!
- Narcissa, Author :-D
(Harry, Ron and Hermione, still slightly dazed, headed quickly off towards the path that would take them to Hogsmeade. And they might have got away without hearing Proffessor Snape sing again, too, except -)
Part 2: (- that almost the last person they wanted to see or hear, ever, but especially when they'd just knocked out a teacher, had just strutted into the library. Draco Malfoy, flanked by Crabbe and Goyle, was just behind them. They froze in their tracks...)
Malfoy: (snearing as usual) What CAN be going on here?..(Malfoy peered down the corridor, and caught sight of Harry, Ron and Hermione. He looked as though Christmas had just decided to come early.)
Malfoy: Oh-hoh! I see! Well, you have got yourselves into a spot of bother, haven't you, Potter and 'chums'? You know how I'd hate to make things any WORSE for you, but I can't help thinking that Proffessor Snape might be the best person to sort this out! ENERVATE!
(Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle chuckled gleefully, and, as Snape came to, made themselves scarce. It occured to Harry to run for it, but he found that his feet were glued to the spot. Snape was getting to his feet. Ron gulped. Hermione seemed to be trying to pretend she didn't exist. And failing. Snape was towering above them now, and appeared to be in the type of rage that Harry had never seen him in since his third year, where Snape had lost his temper so badly, trying to get Harry expelled as he lay in the hospital wing, that he had convinced the Minister for Magic himself that he was somewhat deluded...Snape bared his teeth, eyes flashing, and opened his mouth to yell,)
Snape: WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?! Why do I find myself on the floor of the library -
Ron: (gloomily) Damn...He's got his memory back, then!
Snape: NEVER INTERRUPT ME WHEN I'M TRYING TO EXPELL YOU, WEASLEY! As I was SAYING! For this ABYSMAL crime you can only be reasonably punished by EXPUL-
( Just as Snape was getting to the point, a mysterious thing happened... Harry, Ron and Hermione recognised immediately what was happening, and for the first and last time in their lives, they couldn't help but be thankful to mouldy Voldey...Snape was gazing, smiling with a cherub-like countenance, at the library ceiling, and a snippet of tune was winding its way slowly into their hearing.)
Ron: Oh, YES, this is going to be fun!
Hermione: RON!
Harry: Hey look! (Snape was opening his mouth to begin) Showtime!
(With a twirl of his wand, Snape ups the volume on 'Slim Shadie...'
Snape: ( Standing over Harry, Ron and Hermione menacingly and scowling)
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Proff. Snapie please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Proff Snapie please stand up?
We're gonna' have a problem here....
(Snape began pacing up and down the library, cloak swishing, and making Eminem-type hand gestures. Ron was having trouble controlling his laughter.)
Hermione: Shhhhhh!
Snape: (rapping to er, 'tune' of Slim Shady)
Potter acts like no-one ever hated him before,
but I make the law, and I'd like to wipe his face on the floor! (Yo! Wassup?!)
He thinks he's so great, he finds potions a bore -
Ron: (sighs tragically) Don't we all!
Snape: (irked) -Well he should watch it or I'll have his butt out the door! (all-riiiiiiigght!)
It's the return of the - oh wait, no wait, he's a fool! (Jiggy, jiggy)
Struttin' round, messin' up, thinkin' he *owns* he school!
And everyone says ' awww! That's sweet, he got his mothers eyes!'
Well I don't care if he's got mine - the brat just tells me lies! (huh!)
When will the whole world stop lovin' him? Never, then?!
Ooh, Harry Potter I'm sicka' him!
Look at him, reminds me of his father so much I always hafta' blink.
But hey, let's not go there now - he was another fink! (hehe!)
To all the teachers here the little git can do no wrong (uh-huh!)
They even turn a blind eye when he speaks that parseltongue! (Oh yeah!)
And Dumbledore suggests again the deal might not be big.
I say, 'yeah right, your headship *Sir* - hey look, a flyin' pig!...'
The kid is on my nerves, the kid is on my nerves,
I live in hope that one day he will get what he deserves! (Bwahahaha! Evil cackling!)
Potter, Weas-e-ley and Granger always do what they want to. (Mm-hm!)
Some day I'll split that dream-team up -Damn him! And damn her too!
( All the time this was going on, Harry and Ron were in various states of collapse, and Ron was dancing around behind Snape shouting 'Put yo' hands up!' and annoying Hermione, who was still politely listening to the 'song...')
Snape: (Chorus) Weeeeeeeeeeell, I'm the Evil Snapie, I'm the real Evil Snapie
I'd like to kick out Potter, who gets quite irritating ,
So won't the real Evil Snapies please stand up, and be proud to be greasy haired swine, who're outta their Minds, and one more time how does it Go-oooooooo?!
( Sadly Harry was deprived of hearing 'how it Go-oooooes!' again, because Snape seemed to have forgotten himself. He was holding his heavy head in his arms, and the music was starting to sound scratchy and far off. He was getting back to normal....)
Ron: (laughing) God that was awful, wasn't it?! Even worse than last year! (He spots Snape) A-ha...W-oah-dear! It's wearing off! We'd better get out of here quickly this time!
( Pausing only to collect the food and drink they'd left on the table, Harry, Ron and Hermione scarpered out of the library, before Snape could wake up enough to give them a years worth of detentions, and sped off down the corridor. As they got out of sight of the library, and slowed to a walk, panting, Hermione looked at her watch.)
Hermione: Hmmm, you know, we should get up at this time every morning!, it's still only 9:15! We can still get to Hogsmeade just after opening if we go now!
Ron: Aaaahhh! The nose biting tea-cups are calling me!
( They headed out of the castle doors, wrapping their cloaks tighter against the chilling wind, which was whistling through their hair, so that Hermione's, which was sticking up at all angles and trapping all the falling leaves, was making her resemble a strange sort of electrocuted wood nymph... Close together for warmth, they half walked, and were half blown, out of the great, cast iron gates, and onto the path that led to the village of Hogsmeade.)
* * *
( Having done their shopping, Harry, Ron and Hermione approached the Hogsmeade post-office at about 10:45 , where they were overjoyed to find themselves being greeted by what appeared to everyone else to be a large, bounding, stray dog, which had been curled up quietly outside the Three Broomsticks with a copy of the 'Daily Prophet' in its mouth, and its head on its paws. Thankfully for the workings of my so-called 'plot ,' Harry, Ron and Hermione recognised it as Sirius....)
Harry: (patting the dog's head and whispering) Hello Sirius! We really need to talk, but obviously not here.... Can we still use the cave??
(The dog , pretending to yawn lazily, made a definite nod.)
Ron: (angrily) Oh 'Snuffles!' Isn't it time you found a new home?! I've been carrying this heap for hours! (Ron gestured towards the food and drink loaded into his school bag. If the dog hadn't been a dog, you would have sworn it was grinning...Nudging Ron with its damp nose, the dog made him pass it the bag , and tossed the paper in. Wagging its tail furiously, it barked once, and trotted off up the steep, tiring mountain path that led to Sirius' old hide-out, the mountain cave he shared with Buckbeak the escaped Hippogriff. Almost an hour later, (an hour filled with Ron's grumbling and the others' panting), the three humans and the dog arrived at the camouflaged entrance to the cave. They tumbled in gratefully, and sank down onto the floor, exhausted. Sirius at once transformed back to his ordinary self, and greeted them, still panting.)
Sirius: Well, well! What brings you here so urgently? I'm guessing it wasn't just the pleasure of my company, Harry?
Harry: Oh, um, actually it was pretty much! (Harry had, apparently, completely forgotten the legitimate reason for their visit to Sirius) Have you been getting my owls O.K? I've been a bit worried since the end of last year that something might come up for you, after everything Dumbledore said, and that you wouldn't be here anymore!
Ron: Well, no more fear of that, Harry! Same old blister-making climb as before! Here's your food, by the way Sirius. I know there's some bread in there, see if you can find it....Aaaah! My aching arms! Good thing I thought to bring US some extra food! (Ron turns several cheese sandwhiches, three remarkably unsquashed cream cakes and a large bottle of butter-beer out of his pockets) I'm starving! I tell you, I could eat a Hippogriff!
(Buckbeak makes a shocked squawk and rustles his feathers angrily)
Ron: (Rolling his eyes) Oh, not you!
Sirius: (rumaging for an apple, biting into it noisily, and offering several large bones to a delighted Buckbeak) You know, Harry, you weren't far wrong when you wondered if I'd still be here...Dumbledore's just found me a new place to stay, as part of what I've been doing for him, but I haven't found out where it is yet. I'll send word by owl as soon as I hear anything. (he grimaces) Can't be worse than this, that's for sure!
Harry: Sirius, is there any reason why you couldn't just stay with Dumbledore, and transform if there ever looked like being any trouble? He could just tell people he adopted a dog or something! It happens all the time!
(Hermione, who had been sitting in silence for the past few minutes, was now on her feet, looking as though she couldn't contain herself any longer....)
Hermione: (shouting) HELLO, reality to Harry and Ron! Do you hear yourselves?! Excuse me for reminding you of the BAD NEWS here, but we need to tell Sirius about what's happening down at SCHOOL! I can't BELIEVE you two! Without me you could have TOTALLY forgotten that we've got a V - That we've got a - a
(Hermione seemed to be having trouble getting her words out. Her face wore a look of confusion, and no-one could understand what she was talking about. Sirius, Ron and Harry rushed over to her in concern, and Sirius, kneeling down, questioned her urgently)
Sirius: Hermione! Are you O.K?? What's the problem again? We've got a what?!
(Harry, desperately waving his hand in front of a dazed Hermione's face, in an attempt to wake her up, muttered distractedly)
Harry: We've got a Voldemort crisis....
Sirius: What?!
Ron: (yelling) WE'VE GOT A -
Hermione: ( head lolling, and spluttering) VOLDEM -M-M
Harry: (also shouting) -MORT CRISIS!!
( Just at the moment that the three of them finally managed to make Sirius understand what was going on, it became horribly plain what had been the matter with Hermione. For not the first time, Sirius' cave was shaking, filled with music. Muggle music....The song was -)
Sirius: (clutching his ears in pain) I WILL SURVIVE?! God that is one sick sense of humour he has!
Ron: Ha! Guess he's something of an karaoke fan!
( Before Harry had time to reply, Hermione had begun her song, and had leapt up onto a rock, tossing her hair around and striking a tragic pose. Harry, Ron (who quickly began rummaging in his bag), and Sirius, watched in the knowledge that there was nothing they could do...And anyway, what a shame to miss this opportunity!)
Hermione: (to the tune of 'I will survive!')
We were afraid, we were petrified!
Kept thinking Harry'd never live with Voldey by his side.
But Harry spent so many nights just thinking that he'd really gone,
and he grew strong, and we learned how to get along!
So now he's back, and Wormtail too,
and as we speak they could be finding their death-eater crew!
So Wormtail thinks that this is thanks?!
We would have fed him to Crookshanks!,
if we had known for just one minute
he'd be playing evil pranks!
Go on now, go! Get out of here!
Or I'll get Sirius to bite you fight there on the rear!
Sirius: What?! No chance!!
(A clicking, whirring noise can be heared from somewhere in the cave, but Hermione, oblivious, sings on):
Weren't you the one who tried to make Harry 'Bye-bye?!'
Did you think we'd crumble? Did you think he'd lay down and die?
Go on then, try! He will survive!
Oh, as long as there are good guys Harry must remain alive!
He's got all his life to live, he's got all the love we give,
and he'll survive, and we'll survive! (Hermione began dancing around the cave enthusiastically) Yeah, yeah! Heh, heh, heh!
(She stops, to ressume the 'heartfelt' expression!)
It took all the strength he had not to fall apart,
when you took the thing most dear to any child's young heart,
and yes, he spent so many nights wishing you'd died when this began
- many would cry, but Harry holds his head up high!
You should know he's, somebody new!
He's not that tiny little baby still at risk from you!
He nearly killed you,Voldemort, and now just think what he's been taught -
he just kicked your snakey butt, and you left him with.....A cut?!
So bring it on! (Hermione sang louder and louder, and began punching the air, causing everyone to back off, as she missed Sirius' nose by centimetres... - 'Aaah! watch it!!' -) We're much too strong!
You know you'll never win while we still have this kick - **** song!
Why don't you bring your buddies, mate?
You know you're in a hopeless state!
We could rid the world of evil and be at the feast for 8!
YEAH, YEAH, HEH- HEH- HEH! (Hermione, eyes closed, disco music still crashing 'round the cave at rock-concert volume, launched into further 'Yeahs!' and 'Hehs!', now dancing on her rock once more, but then, as the music began to fade and dim, and the strange clicking noise finally stoped, Hermione came to her senses, toppling dizzily off her rock, and into an astonished Ron's arms. Ron almost threw her to the floor in his attempt to stop her injuring something he was holding. Was it another cream cake?! No! Closer inspection reveals it to be........)
Harry: (prising Ron's arms open) A camera? Ron, how could you?!
Ron: (chuckling gleefully) I've been carrying it around for AGES! Don't you remember me promising last year that next time I would get evidence of Hermione in full song? Well now I've done it at las-
Hermione: (shrieking) RON!!!! How could you?!
Ron: Quite easily, as I said! What is this, guilt-trip Ron day? You have no idea how funny you looked Hermione,-and CORNY- but I'm sure you'll appreciate the joke better when you actually SEE -
(Ron's self-defense was interrupted by Sirius, ever the practical one...)
Sirius: O.K, well, we can always fight about that later, but right now, I think we have to concentrate on the matter in hand... We should leave to find Dumbledore right now! I'll come with you down to the school, as fast as we can.... (turning to Buckbeak) Now you stay here, O.K, Beaky?
(Buckbeak, who had become very attatched to Sirius, whined softly, but curled up resignedly with his gift-bones as the others rushed out of the cave, leaving Buckbeak, now happily chewing, as a ferocious guard to all the delicious food they had left behind.)
Aaaaand that's the end of part 2 of this increasingly more unlikely looking one-part fan-fic! Thanks for reading it, and I hope you enjoyed it! I'm going to have to go and write part three, so more of the same story will continue there! This should be the concluding part, I think, but then, you never can tell! ;-D Thanks again, guys!
- Narcissa, Author :-D