No Brain, No Pain and No Gain
By Tazar
*Lina twitch's but the dust cloud does not see her it's too busy laughing at the unconscious Gourry on the ground*
Lina: *climbing slowly up from the ground* "Dragu Slave!" *A huge blast of energy shoots from Lina's hands at the Dust Cloud*
Dust Cloud: *evil laugh* "Hahaahahahha no one can stop me Hahahahaha......Huh what is that!" *Gets clobbered by Lina's Dragu Slave* "Ouch, owwww, that hurts! Stop it! Noooooooo this can not be I'm defeated by an under-sized little girl that looks like a washboard. It's not fair!"
Lina: *so mad I can't describe it* "UNDER-SIZED! WASHBOARD! NOW YOU DIE! FIREBALL! DRAGU SLAVE! MOON LAYER! DIE! DIE! DIE! That will teach you to say that to me!"
Dust Cloud: *scared evil laughter* "Maybe I did something wrong!" *Gets hit by Lina's spells and topples to the ground in a heap* " NOOOOOOO A GIRL KILLED ME! NOOOooooooo....... It can't be! Nooo hahaha OUCH!" *disappears in a poof of smoke*
Lina: *Still mad but happy at the same time* "I bet you'll never do that again! Hahahah-Oh crap I sound like the thing I just killed O_o"
Gourry: *groaning as he gets up* "Lina? What happened to the Dust Cloud? Oww my head hurts."
Lina: *Grins evilly* "It said something I didn't like that's all! ^_^"
Gourry: *Confused* "What did it say? I don't want to say the same thing if this is what happens! o_O"
Lina: *sort of mad* "You better not say it or I'll kill you! But right now lets find something to eat and eat it!"
Gourry: *scared* "Ok Lina I wont say it! But yeah I want some food to!"
*Just then a dog comes walking by them*
Lina: *hungry* "Lets eat-No! Let's not it's a dog! Ewwwww"
Gourry: *Confused* "But you did want to eat a deer what's wrong with eating a dog?"
Lina: *mad* "It's a dog! I don't eat dogs! Bottom line NO DOGS!....Ok?"
Gourry: "Ok, ok fine no dogs. But what are we going to eat then?"
Lina: "Food!"
Gourry: "I know we are going to eat food, what type?"
Lina: *Happily* "Food, Food, I see FOOD! " *she points to a rabbit on a little hill* "There"
Gourry: *sadly* "But it's just a cute little rabbit, we can't eat it!"
Lina: *belly rumbles* "Just watch me!" *She runs at the hill and the rabbit, but just as she gets to the rabbit it starts to run she runs after it but it's to fast for her, and she trips and falls on her face* "Owww that rabbit tricked me! I'll show it what I can do" *she grins evilly* "Where is it?" *she yells sadly* "Noooo it got away! And I'm still hungry too."
Gourry: *confused* "But Lina you know your not as fast as a rabbit! So of course it got away."
Lina: *mad* "Then you get the food rock-brain! And get it now!"
Gourry: "Look Lina, I see a town! It's got food in it I think!"
Lina: *happily* "Food you should have said something before I ran after that rabbit! Let's go get some food at that town! And then we'll eat and eat and EAT!"
Gourry: *happily* "Ok Lina lets go! Food here we come!"
*So Lina and Gourry ran all the way to the town but when they get there something is wrong with the town*
Lina: "Where is everybody? I don't see any people here do you Gourry?"
Gourry: *scared* "No I don't what could have happened to them all? Maybe a dragon come and had dinner here and they where the dinner! And we are next!"
Lina: *bonks Gourry on the head* "No we are not, I'm to good for a dragon to eat!"
Gourry: *Confused* "Lina I really don't think the dragon would care if you thought you where to good for it to eat."
Lina: *mad* "Gourry don't think you might hurt yourself! And you know I'm always right! Let's get some food!"
Gourry: *scared* "But Lina.....What if the dragon comes back?"
Lina: *confused* "We'll just kill it like we always do, even you should know that!"
Gourry: *Happily* "Ok then go ahead and kill that one!" *He points up to the sky*
Lina: *Looks up where Gourry is pointing* *confused* "What dragon I don't see one?"
Gourry: *yells* "Run Lina Run It's coming right at you from above!"
Lina: *confused* "I don't see it! Your just not seeing right that's all!" *With that she starts walking to a door on the left side of the road they are on*
Gourry: *jumps and knocks Lina about three feet forward but then he is lifted into the air by a invisible source* "Ahhhhhhh!"
*Lina gets up and runs after Gourry and the invisible monster*
Lina: *yells* "Gourry!"
Gourry: *yells* "Help me Lina kill it! It's a dragon and it's going to eat me!"
Invis-Dragon: *roars* "Yes but first I will take your soul and then I will eat you! Hisshisshiss hisss hisss"
Lina: *yells* "Oh no Gourry use your sword"
Gourry: *Yells scared* "I can't use it I can't move"
Lina: *Yells and trips on a rock* "Why not? Oufffff! Ouch!"
Gourry: *yells* "Use your magic Lina, kill it before it eats me!"
Lina: "MOON LAYER!" *40 purple beams of light shoot from Lina and hit the air above Gourry's head*
Invis-Dragon: *Evil laughter as he appears from his invisibility* "Hisshissshisss You can't hurt me I'm over 10000 years old and I have killed so many humans I can't keep track of the number Hissshisss"
Gourry: *yells* "Help I can't move and I feel funny like something is taking my soul away"
Invis-Dragon: *Evilly* "Hisss hisss that's just what I'm doing to you Hisshiss And before I kill you I will tell you my name I am the Drakbond, The evil dragon that used to gourd the cave of evil to the west of here"
Lina: "How did you get away from the cave?"
Drakbond: "Fine I will tell you before I eat lunch ^I^ Hisshiss hiss hiss I was freed by a man that said 'That is a secret' a lot, he said he would free me if I would only kill everything I meet so that is what I'm doing, time to die! Hiss hissss"
*But just as the Drakbond's huge ugly head is about to grab Lina too, a huge blast of energy hit's him and a really ugly and stupid looking dragon that could only be Filia comes flying in from the east*
Filia e.g. Ugly Stupid Looking Dragon: "RAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"
Drakbond: *mad* *looks up at Filia* "How dare you hit me with your stupid blast, it can't hurt me! Hahahahaahahahhahahah! And now you will die too! Hahahahahahahahahhaha" *The Drakbond shoots a huge fireball at Filia*
Filia: *gets hit by the fireball and crashes into the ground knocking her unconscious about 300 feet to the west*
(Too bad the Drakbond did not look at Lina ^_^)
Lina: *mad* "You evil, bad, mean dragon! DRAGU SLAVE!!"
Drakbond: *scared* "No anything but that!" *Gets hit by Lina's Dragu Slave* "Noooooooooo Ouch, Ouch Noooooo My evil demons armor gone Noooooo!"
Gourry: *falls from the Drakbond's grasp to the ground* "Now I will slay you evil monster!" *with that Gourry draw's The Sword Of Light and swings it at the evil Drakbond*
Drakbond: *block's Gourry's blow with a mighty claw but to his horror the mighty sword cut's right though his claw and it falls to the ground* "RAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! My claw, you cut off my claw, my armor is gone! Noooooooooo!" *The Drakbond brings his mighty head to bare on Gourry and lets lose a huge blast of fire* "DIE little mortal!!!!!!!!!!"
Gourry: *Use's the Sword Of Light as a shield but still gets burned by the blast* ""Ahhhhhhhhhh!"
Drakbond: "No…. I will kill the girl first so you can see her die! Hahahaahahahaha"
*The Drakbond turns his head toward Lina*
Drakbond: "now watch mortal as I kill your friend and you can do nothing to stop me!" *takes a deep breath*
Lina: *scared* "Run Gourry! Save yourself!"
Gourry: "Noooooo! I won't let it hurt you!"
*Gourry jumps to his feet and runs forward to plunges his sword into the Drakbond chest dark red blood sprays from the wound and the Darkbond's evil heart starts to slow and die*
Gourry: "Even if I must die to stop it!"
*The Drakbond with a scream of pain and defeat falls to the ground on top of Gourry*
Lina: *sad and scared* "GOURRY! Nooooooooo!" *She run's toward the Drakbond's corpse and the trapped Gourry*
*Just as Lina gets near the Drakbond It explodes in flames*
Lina: *Gets hit by the flames * "AHHHHHHHHHHH!" *She falls to the ground and rolls the flames on her go out but she faints from the pain of the burns*
*Someone steps out of a swirl of smoke*
Zelas: "Yes they are strong to defeat the Drakbond"
Xellos: "Yes they are my mistress" *he says as he steps out of the smoke*
Zelas: "Xellos do something mean to them, then kill them! Hahahahaha"
Xellos: "Yes my mistress, but why do I have to kill my friends?"
Zelas: "They are too powerful they might think to try to destroy us and that can never be! You will do as I say and kill them!"
Xellos: *sadly* "Yes mistress"
Zelas: "Good!" *she walks back into the smoke*
Xellos: "Why my mistress?"
Xellos: *whispers* "I'm sorry my friends, but she is my mistress I can never disobey her" *a tear rolls down his cheek* "I'm sorry" *His hands weave a string of movements and the area around him glows*
Lina: *wakes up and sees Xellos as he walk's into the smoke, she try's to get up but falls back down with a thud* "Ouch! Xellos!" *she lays on the ground and does not try again for a while but she can not get up and she can tell that she's burnt very bad and may die if she does not get help soon*
*From way off comes a voice*
Filia: "Lina! Are you all right? Where are you?"
*Filia comes running from the west she sees Lina and runs to her*
Filia: *sadly* "Oh Lina, your hurt bad!"
Lina: *tries to talk but she can only gasp and try to get a breath of air * "Owwww Fi…..li………..a"
Filia: *gets a potion from the bag on her back and pours it into Lina's mouth*
Lina: *is glowing from the potion's effect* "Filia, Gourry he's under the Drakbond, he can't be……." *starts to cry* "Poor Gourry he killed it and died to save me from it."
Filia: "He did what he had to do Lina, you were the most important person to him. More important then even his life"
Lina: *crying* "But I told him to run, and save himself, but he didn't he attacked it! And now he's gone" *sobbing* "And all of this is my fault because I wanted to get back at Xellos."
Lina: "I saw him, He was here and he did nothing he could have saved us both with nothing more they a finger but he didn't help at all I hate him! I will follow him to the ends of the earth and then I will avenge Gourry!"
Filia: *confused* "Who did you see?"
Lina: *mad but still crying* "Xellos! I'll kill him!"
Filia: *sad* "He did that? "
Lina: "Yes that Monster did! And now Gourry is dead!"
Filia: "But………Xellos…… He wouldn't do that Lina!"
Lina: "I saw him he just left he didn't even look back!"
Filia: "But Xellos is nice, it's Zelas that's mean."
Lina: "I only saw Xellos. He did it!"
Filia: "I don't believe Xellos is behind this."
*A voice comes from somewhere in the smoke from the Drakbond*
Voice-In the Smoke: "Owwww, ouggg, ahhhhh!"
Lina: *looks up* "Is that………GOURRY!"
Filia: *look up too* "That's Gourry!"
*They both get up and run over to the smoke*
Lina: "Gourry! Where are you?"
Gourry: "Owww I don't know who are you?"
Filia: *yells* "It's Filia and Lina, Gourry can you move?"
Gourry: "No I can't I think my leg is broken…….No it's just the sword of light poking into my leg owww"
*A charred-black man crawl's out of the smoke and falls flat on his face on the ground*
Charred-black man e.g. Gourry: "Ougg, ouff"
Lina: "Gourry! You Alive!" *Glomp's Gourry*
Gourry: "Huh?" *Looks nervous* *thinking* She didn't hit me for being dumb something's wrong. "Yes I'm alive." *thinking* maybe I'm just lucky this time
Lina: *hit's Gourry on the head* "You moron you almost got killed by that dragon!"
Gourry: *looks pained* *rubbing his head* "Owww that hurt Lina! I just got burned and you have to hit me."
Lina: *looks sorry* "I'm sorry Gourry. I didn't mean to hurt you…….that much….."
Filia: "Poor Gourry He's all burned and black. Gourry take this it will help a little" *She gives Gourry a potion out of her backpack*
Gourry: *happy* "Cool, it's a soda" *gulps it down*
Filia: *facefaults* "No it's not a soda it's a healing potion"
Gourry: "Oh ok it taste pretty good!"
*Gourry gets up from the ground and looks around then he looks confused*
Lina: *Looks at Gourry and says* "Huh? Is their a mirror here Lina"
Gourry: *Turns to face Lina and almost falls over with surprise* "What the……! It's me but how?" *Looks down at his hands and falls over* "What happened to me I'm in Gourry's body, but I'm Lina not Gourry"
*Gourry sits there for a minute thinking then gets up from the ground and walks over to 'Lina' and bonks 'her' on the head and sure enough she says*
Lina: "Ouch, why did you hit me Lina!"
Gourrybody-Lina: "It's really Gourry in my body but how?"
Filia: *Looks at 'Lina' and 'Gourry'* "What happened to you guys? You're acting like each other."
Gourrybody-Lina: "I don't know but didn't Xellos say something bad was going to happen next week?"
Linabody-Gourry: "Yes he did but we have three days till next week."
Gourrybody-Lina: "But maybe he did it early or something"
Linabody-Gourry: "Yes maybe he did but what are we gonna do about it, " *Add as a afterthought* "I'm hungry. Lina"
Gourrybody-Lina: "Me too" *Looks around for something to eat but does not find anything* "Lets go back to that town and get something to eat there!"
Linabody-Gourry: "Do we have to go back I don't think I can fight in your body"
Filia: *Jumps up and yells* "Lina watch out!"
Gourrybody-Lina: *Hits the dirt* "Gourry get down!"
Linabody-Gourry: "Huh?" *Gets hit by a large black bird* "Ouch! Yowllll!" *The bird jumps off 'her' and take flight but starts to come back at them again* "Lina kill it with your magic!" *Looks around but can't find his sword* "You have my sword!"
Gourrybody-Lina: *Thinks, Yes now I have the Sword Of Light* "FIREBALL!!!" *To 'his' surprise nothing happens and that bird hits 'him' knocking 'him' to the ground* "Ouffff!"
*The bird turns around and starts to come back but Gourry and Lina are still on the ground just then they here a roar from behind them and Filia's Dragon form comes forward with a blast of energy the bird is hit by the blast and disappears in a puff of smoke*
Filia-Dragon: "Are you guys aright….." *She get cut off by the sound of many, many more birds coming closer fast* "I think we should get out of here!" *Lina and Gourry jump onto her back and she takes flight but the birds have just arrived and give chase*
*Then as if things could not get any worse a huge shadow covers the sun and Filia can see the huge bird high above them*
Filia-Dragon: "Lina use your magic!"
Gourrybody-Lina: "I can't use it, it won't work I'm in Gourry's body, remember"
Linabody-Gourry: "FIREBALL!!!!" *A huge fireball flies from 'Her' hands and into the mass of birds some of the birds get burned and fall from the sky but there are still tons of them* "Wow it worked!"
Gourrybody-Lina: "Of course it worked it's MY body and MY magic" *Looks up and almost falls off Filia's back the huge bird is closing in on them and not far behind is the mass of small ones* "Faster Filia!!"
Filia-Dragon: *Starts to slow down* "I can't keep flying" *She starts to go down and slow the huge bird starts to speed up* "I think I see a cave we can make it" *With that she puts all the energy she has into speed and goes down fast*
*The huge bird sees what they are trying to do and speeds up again but just as he is about to grab Filia right out of the air they shoot into a little cave opening in the rocks the huge bird can't stop in time and crashes into the cave door but he is too big to fit in and knocks himself out on the rocks blocking the cave door and putting the group into complete darkness.*
Filia-Dragon: *Hits into the far cave wall and falls to the ground out like a light* "Ouggg……"
Linabody-Gourry: *Falls off Filia's back and knocks 'her' self out on the floor* "Ouch!………"
Gourrybody-Lina: *Hits into the far wall head first and falls to the ground and knocks 'his' head on a rock and 'he's out too* "Oufff!…."
*They lay there in the dark for a few hours the huge bird does not move from the cave door it's still out too*
To be continued in 'Back To Brains Again'
Tazar: *Smiles happily* "I hope you liked this fic I think it's funny and a little dumb too, but still funny Please R&R ^_^"
Lina: *Mad hits Tazar on the head* "Take that you baka! Why do you always do that to me and make me so food crazy and I don't like to get burned, GOT IT!"
Tazar: *Laughs* "Ok Lina no more burning you (I guess ^_^) But you are food crazy and I like it that why. ^_^"
Lina: *Mad* "I'm NOT!" *Just then she sees a small hotdog stand and runs over to it and then starts to buy all the hotdogs and eat them*
Tazar: *Grins* "Sure your not crazy about food, Lina? ^_^." *He then disappears in a puff of smoke saying* "I'll be back!"