"Oooh! I know, I know! I know how we will!" exclaims A-ko.
"How? How? How will we?" responds B-ko.
"We'll watch it all on the television connected to the hidden cameras we had installed for all those scandalous video tapes we likes to make and then sell on E-Bay!" says A-ko.
"Why didn't I think of that?!" squeals B-ko.
Both girls turn behind them and switch on a television that shows the dueling arena. Excited, they squeeze closer to the screen.
There, sitting in what looks to be a rocker recliner in the middle of the dueling arena, is Nanami; apparently still unconscious. A-ko and B-ko search around desperately to see if there is anyone else around, but it looks to be Nanami and only Nanami.
"Well, this is certainly BORING!" exclaims A-ko.
"Shhhhhh! Look!" B-ko whispers as she points out activity on the screen.
Touga drags a small table into view and situates it next to Nanami. On it he places three glasses of some sort of iced drink. He smiles to himself and, after seeing that everything is just the way he likes it, he faces the entrance to the dueling arena and waits with his arms crossed.
Suddenly Anthy and Utena appear with Mitsuru right behind them. They all look to be extremely out of breath, and poor Mitsuru is bent over double with exertion.
"Who in the HELL put all those stairs there?" he cries.
Anthy (whom we all know by now is really Utena) is about to answer him, but is distracted when she notices Nanami. Anthy's eyes narrow at the sight of her, and her fists clench. Without giving Mitsuru time to ask any more questions, or even get out of her way for that matter, Anthy tramples over him with a primal scream of rage and races towards her prey.
She is almost there when Touga steps in front of her and blocks her path with his big manly body. He grasps her arms to keep her from accidentally punching him in the eye and laughs disdainfully at her pathetic anger.
"What a fool you are. Don't you know that Nanami cannot be touched until you have dueled with me? It's all been decreed by Ends Of The World. There's nothing you can do about it, I'm sorry to say." He gives Anthy a semi-sweet, fake sincere smile and turns away, leaving her standing in shock where she is. Still with his back to her he takes about ten paces before drawing a sword (from where we don't know…maybe he had it in his pocket?) and turning to point it at her. In a deeply serious voice he says, "Now, are you ready to face me? Show me the power!"
Anthy and Utena look at each other with sudden realization on their faces. Touga is serious about the duel, but which one of them will have to fight him? Anthy's body belongs to the Rose Bride, and must be used to produce the Sword of Dios…but that would mean ANTHY would have to duel with Touga in UTENA'S body!
Utena's body looks at Touga who is waiting in his best, most coolest fighting stance, and then back to "Anthy".
"Oh no…I can't…Miss Utena…I can't fight Master Touga! I don't know how to do anything except take care of the roses! I was just kidding about wanting my own life earlier….I want my own body back! I hate having to think for myself!" Utena's eyes begin to fill up with tears, but "Anthy" will have none of it.
"Look, this isn't easy for me either! Do you think I want to have a SWORD ripped out of my chest?""Anthy" cries to "Utena", "I could kick Touga's red-headed, chivalrous ASS if it was me who was going to fight him! But it's not. YOU have to do it, and I know you can. He must have had this in his plan all along, well we can't let him win! Now let's get to it!" "Anthy" strides over to where "Utena" is standing with her shoulders slumped and a scared expression in her eyes. "Anthy" grasps "Utena" by the hand and drags her into the middle of the dueling arena, and they both face Touga.
But the duel doesn't commence because out of nowhere comes a big, industrial strength flashlight which is flying straight towards Touga's head. He ducks just before it hits and stands back up in time to see young Mitsuru standing off to the side arguing with Miki.
"That was MY shining thing! MY shining thing, not YOURS….MINE! How could you throw it at Touga like that?" Miki is yelling right in Mitsuru's face, "You ought to have more respect for the Student Council President, and ME for that matter!"
Mitsuru doesn't look the least bit sorry as he says," He's trying to take advantage of Miss Utena's precarious situation and as her new big brother it is my duty to protect her! Now get out of my way you piano-pansy before I write a minuet on your face with my fist!" At these last words Miki looks startled, and then a little nervous. After a moment's thought he smiles sheepishly and sort of mumbles and apology before running off into the darkness while crying like a little girl.
Mitsuru looks at Utena and Anthy," Never fear! I am here! And I won't let this pumped up playboy hurt you!" With those brave words just leaving his lips he charges toward Touga as fast as he can, but Touga makes no move to run. At first Anthy and Utena wonder why, but then they see the truth of the situation as Mitsuru nears him. Mitsuru only comes up to Touga's knee! Despite his….uh…short comings, young Mitsuru fights bravely; both kicking and punching, and even biting once until he tires himself out to the point of fainting.
Touga yawns outlandishly and kicks Mitsuru's body out of the way, "Shall we commences with the duel, or do you have more pre-school body guards on the way?"
It takes Anthy and Utena a minute before they can stop laughing hysterically, but finally they regain their composure.
"We can take you, even in this condition, Touga!" Fake Anthy yells, "And after I get you I am going to put snails in your sister's pencil-box!" Fake Utena tries to look sinister in order to back up her friend's harsh words, but she can't make her face do anything but smile sweetly, so instead she sticks out her tongue and pulls down her lower left eyelid.
Touga laughs as though Anthy and Utena are either very funny, or very stupid.
"Alright! Enough fooling around, are you ready Anthy?" Fake Anthy asks Fake Utena.
"Um….I suppose…."Fake Utena doesn't look too certain, but Fake Anthy figures it's now or never.
"Here goes…."Fake Utena says in a meek voice,"Um…Grant me the…uh…Power….to um….Bring the World Revolution….please?" Fake Anthy suddenly finds herself falling backwards; falling, falling, falling; and she has this funny sort of feeling in her chest. She has just enough time to marvel at the fact that this must be the way the real Anthy feels before every duel before her butt hits the ground and she finds herself staring up the Fake Utena's nose.
"I cannot believe you dropped me!" Utena whispers to Anthy in Utena's body," Let's try this again, okay? BRACE yourself!"
Several attempts later, Fake Utena finally catches Fake Anthy and reaches for the thing sticking out of her chest…except that it's not a sword…in fact, it's not a weapon at all. It appears to be a great, big, silver…watering can!
Fake Anthy is aghast at what was just pulled from her chest, and Anthy trapped in Utena's body is even more so considering this is all she has to protect herself from Touga's evil swordsmanship. What is she to do?
Everyone but A-ko and B-ko in their secret hide-out are too distracted by this latest development to notice two people, one practically dragging the other, coming in from the opening to the stairs. It is Juri and Saionji, and A-ko and B-ko can just make out what they are saying.
"Come ON! Really, I don't see what the big deal is, I told you it would be worth your while. Why are you being so incredibly difficult?" Juri is whispering angrily to Saionji who seems too distracted to notice what's going on or where he is being dragged.
"I have to find Anthy. I haven't see her in a whole HOUR…I think I'm breaking out in hives from withdrawal!" Poor Saionji does indeed look very upset, his eyes are bulging and his forehead has a thin film of sweat on it as though he was breaking out in a fever. He almost wriggles out of Juri's grasp but, well, let's face it, Juri probably has more muscles in her left lower forearm than ALL of the RGU boys have in their whole bodies combined, and she manages to hold fast to him despite his attempts to flee. But he does continue his mumblings about Anthy until Juri finally reaches her destination. She places our dazed Saionji right in view of the dueling arena where Touga has given up on waiting and is charging both Utena and Anthy who don't even notice him because they are still discussing the watering can and where it came from.
Needless to say, Saoinji looks up from his mumbled tirade just in time to see his beloved Anthy is in the line of fire. He quickly pulls out a sword (don't ask, we don't KNOW where he got it, okay?) and runs toward Utena and Anthy screaming, " I will save you my LOOOOOOVE!"
The two girls look up just in time to see Saionji intercept Touga just as he was about to strike. Their swords clash and both boys glare at each other over their weapons.
"Picking on poor defenseless girls who don't have decent weapons belongs to ME, Kiouichi Saionji! You're supposed to be the chivalrous one around here, Touga! Now keep away from Anthy! She's my secret love!" Saionji snarls. Touga doesn't say anything, but he does manage to look sinister and gorgeous all at the same time, and hey, that's all he needs to do, right?
Saionji begins to gain the upper hand, and is about to force Touga to the ground when lo and behold! Nanami is awake!
"You leave my brother alone!" she screams, and looking almost like Miss Piggy, complete with bulging eyes and frizzy blonde hair, she snatches the watering can from Fake Utena and starts to beat Saionji over the head with it.
Being banged on the head with the watering can jars Saionji so badly that his whole body shakes, causing his sword to vibrate against Touga's. The vibration compiled with the two swords clashing against one another somehow causes sparks to begin flying, and just as Anthy and Utena manage to subdue Nanami, Touga's hair catches on fire.
"Oh, baby! You've lit the fire in my hair!!" Touga screams as he dances around trying to put it out. Nanami squeals (again…very pig-like) and pulls away from her captors long enough to begin slapping Touga over the head in an attempt to put out the flames, her own hair catches fire in the process but she just tears off her wig (!)and throws it aside without thinking. However, her slapping technique isn't working and the flames only get higher and higher until Utena (who is really Anthy remember) picks up the watering can and douses Touga's head with what smells a lot like rose water.
Saionji, who has been trying to keep his own lovely locks from catching flame by staying far away from the burning Touga smiles brightly and walks toward what he thinks is Anthy with arms outstretched.
"Come to me, my love, I have saved you! Now you can declare your love for me!" he says. Anthy who is really Utena gets a horrified, disgusted, and altogether terribly frightened look on her face at the very idea of having to hug Saionji; but she is saved when he slips in the water that has pooled on the ground from the watering can and knocks himself unconscious.
From the ground behind Utena and Anthy comes sudden screaming, "Oh Dear God! The Horror! I think I'm going to be sick!"
It is Mitsuru screaming in disgust from the place where Touga kicked his unconscious form before the duel. He is staring at Touga and Nanami as he bursts into tears and begins vomiting all over himself.
Utena and Anthy look to see the cause of his distress. Both of them cry out as they get a good look at Nanami. During the fight with the fire she lost the wig that nobody knew she wore, and now she has forgotten that she's not wearing it in her concern for her brother. Even A-ko and B-ko gasp from their hidden place as they realize that Nanami is completely and utterly bald with the exception of one tuft of red hair on the very top and a Pink Power Ranger tattoo on the back of her head. The silence is deafening as she realizes her mistake and turns around to see everyone staring at her. Quickly she begins scrambling for her blonde wig in a lame attempt to restore her former cuteness, but her wig is so burned that it looks more like a coon skin cap than her blonde hair. Utterly broken and ashamed, she drops her scorched wig and runs crying from the arena. Touga is left lying on the ground in a heap.
After Utena and Anthy have stopped their incredible bought of laughing Utena (still in Anthy's body, unfortunately) walks over to Touga and kneels down to inspect his wounds. Most of his hair has burned away, but, not surprisingly, short hair looks really good on him. Utena even begins to notice that with short hair he sort of resembles her prince…just as she is discarding that idea with a laugh she notices that up close his hair color looks incredibly brassy and fake…and that it looks like he has white roots!
"You are my prince!!" Utena in Anthy's body exclaims," Gross!! You can't be my prince! You're a male slut!"
Touga's eyes open and he looks at her," Yes, I am your prince from so long ago. I had to dye my hair red and move to this school because of all the angry boyfriends of girls that I'd dated. You don't know the number of big burly men who want to kick my lily-white ass. I ran into you on the road I was taking out of town. I gave you the ring to keep you quiet in case anybody asked you about seeing me, and I kissed you because…well…I never could resist a pretty face," he winks at her in a completely male chauvinistic way, "So….now that you know….what are you going to do?" He looks at her longingly with those big pretty eyes….right before she punches him.
"Whoo-hoo!" Fake Anthy yells, " I don't have to stay at this lousy school any more! I just found out my prince is a total loser! What the hell am I doing here? I'm going to Disney World!" Fake Anthy does the cabbage patch in circles all around Touga as he lies on the ground in agony from her roundhouse punch. She is so gleeful that she almost doesn't hear Fake Utena calling her.
"What is it Anthy? I'm celebrating here." Utena in Anthy's body asks.
"Well, I really just had two concerns, Miss Utena." She replies, "Number one, um…well….we are still in the wrong bodies. And…um…number two…what are we going to do with him?" Fake Utena looks uncertain as she points to Saionji's still unconscious form lying on the ground at her feet. Fake Anthy looks around to find somebody to help them get him down the stairs but it appears that everyone has left except for the three of them.
"It wouldn't be right just to leave him up here after he tried to help us…well…you actually…." Fake Anthy says, "But I don't exactly feel like carrying him…I've got to find Nanami and make her change us back! What are we going to do with him?"
"Oh, don't you worry about him, girls. He's MINE." Says a voice from behind them.
Anthy and Utena turn around to see Wakaba standing in full dominatrix gear at the door to the arena. She carries a whip in her hands, and is wearing a black pair of combat boots.
"I have been looking for his sweet little ass all day." she says. With an evil smirk she walks over to his body and kicks him awake. Upon seeing her Saionji starts to cry like a two-year-old. "Quit that sniveling!" Wakaba barks at him, "How did you get off your leash? I came home from classes and you were gone! Now start going!" She cracks her whip and Saionji starts crawling toward the door, whimpering all the way.
"Thanks ladies!," Wakaba calls over her shoulder as she and her "pet" leave.
Utena and Anthy just stare at each other in wonder, as do A-ko and B-ko back at their hideout.