Diary,
Oh my God. Oh my God. OH MY GOD! You'll never believe it! This is wonderful! Just wonderful! I'm so happy!
Oh, no. What if Rick isn't happy about it? What if he gets angry? Then what would I do?
Wait, Diary. Perhaps I should start at the beginning.
Starting a couple of weeks ago, I was getting extremely sick. I was fainting and I couldn't keep anything down. Rick, bless his heart, was so worried. He thought I had some deadly disease. He actually bit his lip at one point and looked as if he was about to cry. I'm not sure how I would handle that, Diary. I've never seen him cry, and I don't think I ever want to. Rick is too strong to cry.
But anyways, I am getting off the subject.
So, I finally went to the doctor today. And it turns out I don't have a deadly disease at all! In actuality, I'm PREGNANT!
That's right, Diary! I'm going to be a mother! And Rick is going to be a father!
But there is one problem. Rick and I have only been married a little over two months. What if he doesn't want a child yet? What if he gets angry and leaves? What would I do? I don't think I'd be able to handle that either.
Oh, come off it, Evie, he'll be happy! He has to be! Imagine it, a little bit of him mixed with a little bit of me....we've created life. It's and amazing thing.
I never fully understood why pregnant women always had such a glow about them; you'd think they'd be depressed and irritable all the time because they have to carry around all that weight. But now I understand.
It's the sheer joy of the thought that you and the one person you love more than life itself having created an absolute miracle. It's almost as if our love has been confirmed, you know what I mean? Probably not, that's probably just my opinion. But this child is going tobe a symbol of some sorts. Of how much Rick and I love one another.
Oh, he'll be happy about it. I know he will be. I hope he will be...
But the thing is, Diary, we're planning on moving to England soon. If I'm pregnant, I obviously can't travel. And then I would have to stay here, and I know Rick wants to get out of Egypt as quickly as possible. He wants us to be as far away from....I can't even bring myself to write it, let alone say it...well, you know the place I'm talking of.
I know he wants to protect me. I realize it's because he loves me. But no matter what horrors I've faced here, I'll always love Egypt. I know it won't be long before we'll return on a visit.
If we ever get to leave.
You know, Diary, I'm getting awfully ahead of myself. Here I am, talking of whether or not I want to move and I haven't even told my husband that we're having a child!
Oh, Diary, I'm still in shock! This is such wonderful news, I'm beside myself!
The only thing that bothers me is: What if I'm not a good mother? What if I mess up and ruin my child's life? My mother was so wonderful, I want to raise my child exactly as she did me and Jonathan. But that will be hard. I'm not sure if I can do it.
Oh, well. I'm going to try my hardest.
Oh, Diary, Rick is home! I'm going to stop now so that I can tell him my great news! I mean, OUR great news!
Until later,
~Evelyn
Oh my God. Oh my God. OH MY GOD! You'll never believe it! This is wonderful! Just wonderful! I'm so happy!
Oh, no. What if Rick isn't happy about it? What if he gets angry? Then what would I do?
Wait, Diary. Perhaps I should start at the beginning.
Starting a couple of weeks ago, I was getting extremely sick. I was fainting and I couldn't keep anything down. Rick, bless his heart, was so worried. He thought I had some deadly disease. He actually bit his lip at one point and looked as if he was about to cry. I'm not sure how I would handle that, Diary. I've never seen him cry, and I don't think I ever want to. Rick is too strong to cry.
But anyways, I am getting off the subject.
So, I finally went to the doctor today. And it turns out I don't have a deadly disease at all! In actuality, I'm PREGNANT!
That's right, Diary! I'm going to be a mother! And Rick is going to be a father!
But there is one problem. Rick and I have only been married a little over two months. What if he doesn't want a child yet? What if he gets angry and leaves? What would I do? I don't think I'd be able to handle that either.
Oh, come off it, Evie, he'll be happy! He has to be! Imagine it, a little bit of him mixed with a little bit of me....we've created life. It's and amazing thing.
I never fully understood why pregnant women always had such a glow about them; you'd think they'd be depressed and irritable all the time because they have to carry around all that weight. But now I understand.
It's the sheer joy of the thought that you and the one person you love more than life itself having created an absolute miracle. It's almost as if our love has been confirmed, you know what I mean? Probably not, that's probably just my opinion. But this child is going tobe a symbol of some sorts. Of how much Rick and I love one another.
Oh, he'll be happy about it. I know he will be. I hope he will be...
But the thing is, Diary, we're planning on moving to England soon. If I'm pregnant, I obviously can't travel. And then I would have to stay here, and I know Rick wants to get out of Egypt as quickly as possible. He wants us to be as far away from....I can't even bring myself to write it, let alone say it...well, you know the place I'm talking of.
I know he wants to protect me. I realize it's because he loves me. But no matter what horrors I've faced here, I'll always love Egypt. I know it won't be long before we'll return on a visit.
If we ever get to leave.
You know, Diary, I'm getting awfully ahead of myself. Here I am, talking of whether or not I want to move and I haven't even told my husband that we're having a child!
Oh, Diary, I'm still in shock! This is such wonderful news, I'm beside myself!
The only thing that bothers me is: What if I'm not a good mother? What if I mess up and ruin my child's life? My mother was so wonderful, I want to raise my child exactly as she did me and Jonathan. But that will be hard. I'm not sure if I can do it.
Oh, well. I'm going to try my hardest.
Oh, Diary, Rick is home! I'm going to stop now so that I can tell him my great news! I mean, OUR great news!
Until later,
~Evelyn