The next day

Billy: Hey, Grandpa, I've been waiting for you all day.

Grandfather: I see. When you want something, it's Grandpa, but when you could give a rat's ass, it's old man.

Billy: I'm sorry about yesterday. Really.

Grandfather: You still ain't getting my PS2, kiddo.

Billy: ::grumble mumble:: Then could you please tell the rest of the story? I'll be good.

Grandfather: Well

After Prince Vegeta's proclamation, Chi Chi went out into the nearby forest to shadow spar. She was so caught up in what she was doing that she nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard a voice behind her.

"Pardon me, miss?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!" Chi Chi grabbed the voice's owner around the throat, and was about to hurl him skywards. Quickly, she regained her composure, and placed the small blue man back on solid ground. "Sorry! My bad."

"Quite alright," Pilaf said, dusting himself off. "As I was about to ask. My associate Piccolo and I are on our way to the local martial arts tournament, and were hoping you'd know the way?"

"Martial arts tournament? There hasn't been one around here in years."

"Perfect. Then I guess there will be no one around to come to your defense now, will there? 16?" Before Chi Chi could react, a huge hand smothered her nose and mouth, cutting off her air supply. And then, all was black.

The goliath named 16 had Chi Chi slung over his shoulder and the blue midget Pilaf in his arms. "He looked down at his second charge. "Why are we doing this again?"

"Imbecile! We are kidnapping the princess so that Vegeta has an excuse to blow Guilder off the map and into the next dimension."

"Why does Vegeta need an excuse?" Piccolo mused aloud, flying slightly behind the giant.

"Do I pay either of you two mooks to think? NO! I hired 16 to be the big, scary strong guy, and I hired you to be the suave and silent type. And you're not being silent now!" Piccolo simply shrugged. Normally, he wouldn't take this type of verbal abuse from anyone. However, Pilaf tended to pay very well, and in cash.

Pilaf chuckled to himself. Oh, how he wished he were a fly on the wall when Vegeta saw his fiancée's body dead on the Cliffs of Insanity. Starting wars was a very honorable position, but you never really got to be there to see them start. Well, maybe if 16 hovered far above the carnage–

"Pilaf!" Piccolo shouted. "I think we're being followed. I just saw a flash of light behind us.

"Inconceivable! No one knows we're flying towards Guilder. And besides, how would they follow us? It's probably just a flock of birds."

"I doubt a flock of birds has that type of ki pattern. And it's gaining."

"Well, whatever it is, it's too late! The Cliffs of Insanity are dead ahead."

Piccolo squinted behind him. "I think it's a human. I can't tell. It's all in black."

"So? Take care of him over the cliffs. Make sure he doesn't follow the princess and us."

The Namek stopped, hovering above the cliffs. "I'm going to fight him with my weighted turban and cape on."

"Why in Kami's name would you want to do that? Just finish the thing!"

"If I fight him unweighted, it's over too quickly. I need a fight that's a challenge."

"Fine, whatever! Just meet up with us after! We're having sponge cake and wine back at my place." 16 flew past the horizon with his passengers, leaving Piccolo alone to face the Man in Black.

As the Man in Black zoomed ever closer, Piccolo crossed his arms and examined his opponent. For a human, the man seemed rather formidable. He had to be at least six feet tall, not counting the sprongs of black hair that shot in every direction. A black mask hid his face and a large black sack was slung over his shoulder. And his ki level was incredible! Piccolo didn't think humans could reach that power, even with the proper training.

When the Man in Black got within twenty feet of Piccolo, he stopped to hover in mid-air as well. "Hi there!" the human chirped. " I think your friends have something of mine." The Namek dropped into a fighting stance. "Oh, you're here to stop me, right?" Piccolo nodded once. "Well, that's great! I haven't had a good fight in quite some time. But would you mind terribly if I had a snack first?"

"Obviously, you're in no particular rush," Piccolo sneered.

"Actually, I am, but I'm really hungry. I have some to spare too, if you want to share."

The green warrior was taken aback. Not only did the Man in Black want to eat before dying, but also he was willing to share? Cautiously, Piccolo looked around for signs of Pilaf and 16. Well, the blue midget did want him to stall the Man in Black. What harm could it do resting for a few minutes before fighting? Again, Piccolo nodded.

Billy: They're taking a lunch break?

Grandfather: That's what it says in the book.

Billy: What book? You're making this up as you go along.

Grandfather: True, but you're still listening to this, aren't you. So shut up.

As both warriors settled onto the Cliffs of Insanity, the Man in Black opened up his sack. Inside was enough food to feed a small army. The Man in Black offered Piccolo a cheese sandwich, which was politely declined. The human shrugged, and began stuffing his face, not able to eat fast enough.

"Ahem. I do not mean to pry, but you don't happen to have purple skin, do you?"

The man stopped in mid-munch. "Droo roo auwys strr conrrrrsatons rrrke thsss?"

"Excuse me?"

The man swallowed his food hastily. "I said, do you always start conversations like this?" The Man in Black took off one of his gloves, showing nothing but a perfectly normal, human hand, without the slightest traces of purple.

"Sorry," Piccolo grumbled. "It's just that my planet was destroyed by a purple-skinned man."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Well, It's not like I actually lived there for quite some time. But still, it's the only home I knew of. I've been searching most of my lifespan for him."

"Did you ever find him?"

"Sir, if I had found him, do you really think I'd have just asked you that question?" The Man in Black shrugged. Piccolo muttered under his breath. "I'm obviously dealing with a genius here."

"Well, what're you going to do when you find him?"

"Ah! That I have all planned out. I'm going to go up to him and say, Hello, my name is Piccolo. You killed my planet. Prepare to die.' And then I'm going to kick his ass." The Namek drove his fist into his open palm to drive the point home.

The Man in Black nodded. "Sounds like a good plan."

Piccolo's opponent stood up then, brushing off all the stray crumbs from his shirt and mask. "Wow, that was a good snack! But I really have to go rescue Chi Chi from the short blue guy and the big guy. Do we still have to fight?" The green warrior nodded. True, he was paid to fight the Man in Black, but it seemed like such a shame to beat such an idiot. He promised himself he'd kill the Man in Black quickly.

The Man in Black and the Namekian squared off, each bowing to the other as if it was a tournament. And the fight began.