Disclaimer: Much as I wish I
did, I don't own Gundam Wing, or any of the affiliated characters. This fic is
not meant as a claim to copyright, and was written without license or
permission. I mean no disrespect whatsover
to the creators of this awesome anime.
WARNING! This fic is a prime
example of a no real plot fic, and I didn't even *pretend* to try to stay in
character. If PWP or OOC bothers you,
don't read this!
Part One:
It started out as another "normal"
day for the five boys living in the small safehouse tucked away in the
woods. As the blazing golden sun rose
over the small cottage, birds chirped, and woodland creatures began to stir. The harmonious peace, however, was soon to
be destroyed.
In the kitchen of the small
house, a blue-eyed Japanese boy sat typing away at a battered laptop computer
on the table in front of him. Next to
him, a brown haired boy with one eye covered by a large bang (unibang) sat,
reading a newspaper and sipping a mug of coffee. A blonde boy stood next to the stove, cooking something that
might resemble eggs if you had a good imagination Rummaging through the refrigerator was a Chinese boy, dark hair
pulled back in a ponytail. The feeling
in the room was one of relaxed calmness.
There was complete silence from the teenagers, save the one attempting
to cook: "Trowa?" he asked. The
question was directed at the pilot reading the newspaper. "Do you want some eggs? They're a little burned, but they'll
probably taste all right…" he trailed off, watching Trowa expectantly.
"Quatre, I dunno," Trowa
replied carefully, not wanting to hurt his friend's feelings. "Last time they were a little…um…-" Before
Trowa could finish, he was interrupted by a loud blast of something vaguely
discernable as music. A boy with long
chestnut hair tied back in a braid entered the kitchen, radio on his
shoulder. The radio was the source of
the ear-splitting noise that sounded a lot like people screaming bloody murder
as they banged their heads against the wall to a bleary tune.
"Duo, what *is* that?!" the
Chinese pilot asked, loudly.
"It's MUSIC, Wufie!" Duo
replied, grinning.
"DON'T CALL ME 'WUFIE'!"
Wufei retorted. "And that is *not*
music, it's screaming!"
"Turn it *off*, Duo," the pilot
at the laptop said, glaring. "*Now*."
"What's that, Heero?" Duo
asked, grin widening. "Turn it
*up*? If that's what you want…" Duo turned the stereo up to full volume. Heero intensified his glare, and got
up. He walked over to Duo, and flicked
the radio off.
"Hey," Duo objected. "It's my b-day! I can play it as loud as I want!"
"Please don't, Duo," Quatre
begged. "I've got a headache…"
"Anyway," Trowa put in. "It's not your birthday."
Duo's large grin was
replaced by a look of shock. "Not my
b-day? Not my birthday?! Of course it's my birthday! Just ask the author!" Five heads turned
expectantly upward.
**Yes, it's his birthday**
"How do we know you're the *real* author?" Wufei asked
suspiciously.
**The REAL author? Ex-CUSE me?! I'll prove it!
I'll…I'll…I'll turn you into a…a chicken!**
Suddenly, a cloud of purple
smoke appeared. When it cleared, Duo,
Heero, Quatre, and Trowa peered at Wufei.
Indeed, he had been turned into a fat, white, chicken.
"This is unhonorable!" Wufei
protested in a squeaky voice. "Is this
*my* voice? Kisama!"
**Convinced?**
Wufei muttered something
rude in Chinese and glared as best he could with his beady little chicken
eyes. "Fine, you're the author."
**That's better.**
With a brilliant flash of
light, Wufei was human again. "Onna,"
he muttered under his breath.
**I didn't hear that. As I was saying, it's Duo's birthday, and
you'd better not forget it! Or
else…I'll turn you into…frogs! I'm off to
my desk to plan how best to torture you…l mean to write the next chapter. Seeya!** -_-0
Suddenly, the room was
filled with thick, black smoke. The
smoke detector gave off a series of long shrill beeps. "My gosh…my eggs!" Quatre moaned. He ran over to the stove and turned it
off. He held up the pan, and began to
scrape the rock hard coal black eggs out with a chisel. They landed with a clunk in a heap on the
floor. Despite repeated attempts at
poking it with a broom, the smoke detector failed to shut up. Finally, Heero gave up and chucked a piece
of egg-rock at it. It gave off one last shrill wail before
shattering into a zillion pieces. Trowa
had run to the windows and pried them open, in a vain attempt to air out the
small room. "Heero," Duo said sadly. "That
was a perfectly good smoke alarm. You
didn't have to *kill* it…it was only doing its job…"
"Hn," was Heero's only
reply. The five set to work cleaning up
the kitchen.
***Elsewhere in the universe***
"My time of revenge draws
near," a shadowed figure growled.
Phart, as he was called, had a plan.
He, with the "help" of his dim-witted assistant Phat, would seek revenge
on the colonies! He would make them pay
for what they had done to him! The only
problem was that he couldn't remember what that was. "It'll come to me someday…" he said softly to himself.
"Sir…are you speaking to me?"
a timid voice asked.
Phart sighed. "No, I'm speaking to the wall," he said
sarcastically. "OF COURSE I'M SPEAKING
TO YOU, YOU IDIOT! Who else would I be
speaking to ?!"
"The wall?" Phat offered.
Phart clenched his teeth and
made his hands into fists, barely resisting the urge to throw Phat out into the
vast coldness of space. He needed Phat's
help, at least for the moment. "My time
of revenge draws near," he repeated, through clenched teeth.
Phat just stood there. "And…"
"AND NOTHING, YOU
IMBECILE! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO AGREE WITH
ME!" Phart screamed, at the end of his rope.
"Oh. Yes, your time of revenge draws near. Now what, boss?"
"Now, you laugh."
"Ha, hee, ho, ho, ho!" Phat
chuckled.
"EVILLY, you dolt!"
"Oh. BWAHAHAHAHA!"
"No, MWAHAHAHAHA!"
"Right. Got it.
BWAHAHAHAHA!"
*sigh*
^-^ hope you enjoyed reading
this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Please
review! I'll post more if anyone shows
an interest.
