Disclaimer: I *still* don't
own Gundam Wing, or any of its characters, all that blah. Furthermore, if I *did*, I'd probably be on
my way from my oceanside mansion to an exclusive country club in my chauffeured
limo right now, instead of posting this. *sigh* Hey, I can dream! ^-^
WARNING! This *still* is
PWP, and it *still* is OOC. There is
some Relena-bashing in this chapter. FANS OF THE DEMON, BEWARE!!! MWAHAHAHAHA! -_-0 sorry 'bout that… Without further ado-chapter 2! (hey, that rhymes!) **Sorry to all those who think I'm insane right
now. Read on!**
Part Two:
The solid wooden door of the
small safehouse cracked open. A girl
with long blondish hair poked her head in. Suddenly, from behind her, a BANG! came. When she turned around, the hood of her hot pink car was up in
smoke. A nervous looking old guy was
standing near it, wringing his hands. "M-Miss Relena?" he asked, almost
petrified. "Er, um, the engine seems to
have over heated during the long trip here, nothing I can't fix, but, um, it's
sort of a problem…" He glanced at Relena, who was quiet, for once. Misinterpreting her silence, he launched
into an amazingly detailed account of what had happened to her car.
Relena sighed. Why did this have to happen to *her*? Why not Dorothy or someone? All she had been trying to do was track down
Heero somewhere in these mountains. Was
that so bad? "I don't *care*, all right?!"
she yelled, irritated. "Just *fix* it,
NOW!" She stalked away, leaving an
extremely startled chauffer to fix her half-dead car.
Relena again poked her head
into the small building. "Heero?" she
called into the emptiness. "*Heeroooo~?! Are you *there*?" When she still didn't get a reply, she
shoved the door open and entered.
Once inside, the first thing
she noticed was that Heero was not somewhere in the immediate vicinity rushing
to greet her. The second thing she
noticed was that the place smelled horrible. Eww… she thought, scrunching up her nose. This place smells like smoke! Wait a minute…SMOKE! HEERO'S BURNED UP!!! Relena gave out a strangled cry, sounding
somewhat like a dying cow.
¯note
from author: if, by some freaky coincidence, you attend TPMS, you will be able
to personally relate this incident to the time I lost my voice in world studies. If you also happen to have read anything by
the author "deathwing", you should know that she said it was *cute*. CUTE?! HAH! I SOUNDED LIKE SOMETHING
CHOKING OUT ITS DYING WORDS! Humph. Anyway, just thought you
might like to know…^-^¯
She ran through the house to
the kitchen, crashing into Trowa as she did.
"Where's Heero?!" she asked
hurriedly.
"He's about two feet behind
you," Trowa replied. Baka, he
thought. Why can't she just leave
us alone?
Relena turned. "Heero!" she cried with relief. "You're not burned up!"
"Why would I be?" Heero
asked, with an expression on his face that could be interpreted as...well, I'll
leave that up to you to decide.
Relena realized the
stupidity of her assumption. "Uh…no
reason," she said, blushing. "Just
wanted to make sure."
Duo came over. "Hi, Relena, nice to see you," he said,
unable to keep the sarcasm from his voice.
Relena glared at him. "Humph."
"The least you could do is
wish me a happy b-day," Duo suggested.
Relena muttered, "Yeah, right,"
under her breath, prompting glares from the other pilots.
Duo stuck his tongue out,
and stalked off to the coat closet. Once inside, he turned his head to the ceiling and whispered, "Hey,
author!"
**what?**
"If you can turn Wu-man into
a chicken, you can turn *Relena* into something, right?"
**uh…I guess…**
A wide grin spread across
Duo's face. "Well, if you're looking
for suggestions, I might have an idea or two…just in case you were interested…"
¯note
from author: I will now cut back to the scene in the kitchen, so that the
outcome of my conversation with Duo will not interfere with what my
fourth-grade teacher always called "the element of surprise". Heh, heh, I'll keep you hanging for a bit! Ah, well, you'll find out soon enough…heh,
heh, heh…¯
µsome
random reader: ok, what was the point of that? Can we JUST GET BACK TO THE
STORY HERE???µ
¯heh,
heh, sorry about that, people. I'm a
just a *little* hyper right now…¯
***Meanwhile, back in the kitchen***
"So, Heero, do you want to
go to the theater with me tonight?" Relena asked in a sickeningly sweet
voice. "I *just* happen to have extra
tickets…" Relena ignored the sounds of
Wufei gagging in the background.
'Um..I've gotta work on Wing
Zero tonight…it's broken down…" With
one glance at Relena's fiery glare, Heero trailed off. "Maybe…maybe next week?" he offered lamely.
Relena was at the verge of
tears, when Duo burst back in, grinning from ear to ear. "Where have you been?" Quatre asked, relief
showing in his voice.
"Oh…just having a little
chat with the author, you know, just like to see what's coming up next…can't
hurt…she's really an interesting person you know…*AHEM, cough hack…*" Duo said
vaguely.
"Uh HUH…" Relena said
suspiciously, not buying it.
"Well, Miss Peacecraft…or is
it Darlian, you change it too much for me to remember…anyway, if you must know,
I was planning a little surprise for you!"
"For me? A surprise?! Well, what is it?"
Duo coughed loudly again,
and, when nothing happened, looked up at the ceiling furiously. "HELLO? ANYONE *HOME* UP THERE? THAT WAS
THE *SIGNAL*"
**wha…oops! This magazine, so interesting…anywho,
Relena, sorry 'bout this, just gotta squash all those rumors at school that I
look like you…not for long!**
"Huh? What's that supposed to…HEEROOOOO~!" For Relena had suddenly began a most
*painful* transformation.
¯yet
another infamous note from author: due to this thingy's PG rating, I will spare
you the gory details of this.¯
µsome
random reader: aww…*man*!µ
¯-_-0¯
When Relena had finished,
the pilots stared expectantly at where Relena had once stood. In her place, there was…nothing. They looked down…and down…and down…until
they saw a tiny hot pink ant on the floor.
"Hey! Heero? Can you hear me? HELP ME!! *BEEP* you, author! When I get out of this, I'll *BEEP* you 'til
you *BEEP*!"
¯you
know the drill: also due to this thingy's PG rating, I will spare you Relena's
words and leave you to imagine for yourselves what she said. But I can assure you it was bad.¯
"HEY, AUTHOR! YOU TURNED HER INTO THE WRONG THING!" Duo
yelled, outraged. You were supposed to
turn her into a ***truck passes by, honking loudly***"
**oh, *yeah*! I remember now!**
With a flash of white light,
there was no longer a pink ant. No,
there was now something much worse. Relena had been turned into a giant pink blob! ***evil music plays***
¯dang
it, I'm getting tired of typing…you surely know what this is by now:if you've
seen the movie "the blob", it would help. Also, moo-chan wanted to let y'all know this was her idea.¯
µmoo-chan:
*waves*µ
"Dang you all!" Relena
screamed (with what mouth, I don't know), and turned and slimed out the door.
The pilots all turned to
each other, stifling laughs. "Ok,
then," Trowa said. "What, exactly was
the point of that?"
**I dunno, but it was funny,
wasn't it? Please? Comment here?!**
"Hey, Wu-man, better a
chicken then a blob, huh?" this comment
obviously came from Duo.
"Humph. Dishonorable just the same." Wufei turned toward the wall. "On second thought, you have a point…"
***Meanwhile, elsewhere in the universe***
"PHAT, YOU MORONIC DOLT,
DON'T YOU EVER GET ANYTHING RIGHT?!" Once again, we find Phart and Phat in the middle of chaos.
"Sorry, sir," Phat replied,
wringing his hands.
"Sorry isn't good
enough! How hard is it to combine two
acids together without spilling them all over the floor?"
"What floor, sir?" Phat had managed to burn away half of
Phart's priceless antique wooden floor (can floors be antique?).
"AARGH!!! I'm gonna go blow something up!" Phart left the room, smashing several
expensive objects as he went.
"Be careful, sir, you don't
want to break anything!" Phat called after him.
After Phart left Phat to
clean up what was left of the room, he decided to go for a long stroll in the
garden. Perhaps it would clear his
mind, give him some idea of how to take revenge on the colonies.
"Dang it, what the heck did
they do?" Phart asked himself for the bazillionth time that morning.
**um, didn't some cashier on
L2 forget to give you your penny's worth of change?**
"Yeah, that was it!" Phart
said, his face lighting up with glee. "A horrible crime. But what
about the rest of them?"
**well, I think some jerk on
L5 hit you with a bike or somehting, some bird on L1 pooped on you, a traveling
mosquito bit you on L3, and…uh…didn't you get smacked with a baseball or
something on L4?**
"Yes, yes, I remember
now!!! Now that I know, revenge will be
mine! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Not if I can help it," a
shrill voice cried.
"What the…who's there?!"
Phart yelled.
^-^ heh, heh, sorry to leave
off there, but I gotta go finish my world studies hw. Please R+R! In the next
chapter, to be posted soon, look for *dramatic pause* SUPER LIBRARIAN! -_-0. ok then, hope to see you
on the review board!