AVALANCHE's world
~Cloud and Tifa enter the bar; hand in
hand and smiling at each other like a couple of lovable idiots. ~
Cloud: HEY! We're not
lovable, and we're not idiots!
Author (that would be me J): I'm writin' the story
here, so you can just can it, Cloud!
Cloud: @#$@#!!
Tifa: Oh, ignore him…HEY!
~Tifa suddenly runs headfirst
into a wall for no apparent reason. Author laughs. ~
Author: I am all-powerful!
HAHAH!!!
Cloud: Uh…. right….
~ Cut to Mideel, where our
villain has quite literally dropped in on the doctor… ~
Doctor: Who are you?
Villainous guy: Huh? How'd I
end up in Mideel! I was supposed to land in Midgar!
Doctor: Uh, right….
~The Villain leaves Mideel
and sees the Highwind just standing there~
Villainous guy: Ah, I'll hijack
that ship and fly to Midgar!
~He gets on board and throws
the crew off the ship and steals it. Cid comes out of the forest a few minutes
later…~
Cid: What the @#$@#?! Where's
the Highwind?!
Crewmember Bob: Some guy in a black trench coat hijacked it, Captain!
Cid: @#$@!! I gotta call
Cloud an' tell him to send me a Golden Chocobo!
~Cid takes out his PHS and
calls Cloud~
Cloud: Hellooooo? Is that you, Aeris?
Cid: @#$@# kid! Aeris is
dead; remember? This is Cid! Some guy in a black trench coat stole the Highwind;
so I need ya ta send me one of the Golden Chocobos!
Cloud: Oh sorry, but we ate
the last Chocobo for supper last night!
Cid: What?! How could you
eat a @#$@ Chocobo?!!?
Cloud: We ran out of
chicken!
Cid:
@#$@#$@#$@#$@#$@$!@#!@#$#@$@##~!~~!!!
Author: Watch your mouth!
~Cid gets hit on the head
with an enormous chicken leg (don't ask…)~
Cid: Who the @#$@ are you!?
Author: I'm the fanfic
author!
Cid: WHAT?! Where's the
Highwind?!
Author: Midgar, why?
Cid: THAT'S MY SHIP!!!!!
Author: So?
Cid: @#$@#!!
~Cut to Midgar, where are
villain is trying to figure how to get into the huge city…~
Villainous guy: How the heck
do I get in there?
Author (appearing out of
nowhere): You can jump!
Villainous guy: What?! HEY!
~The Author tosses the
Villainous Guy off the Highwind! The Villainous Guy [known as VG until I can be
bothered to think up a decent name] lands on top of what's left of Shinra HQ! ~
VG: @#$@#!!
Author: Such language!
~Tosses down a horny dog.
The dog…ugh…you don't wanna know…~
VG:
AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author: Whoa, I didn't think
THAT was possible, even for a dog!
END OF CHAPTER ONE (Thank
goodness…)
Author's notes: Uh…would you
believe that I'm going slightly madder every single day…?
