Disclaimer: Nick, from 98 degrees, wrote this song. Nothing belongs to me...you know the drill. This is a story that just happens to go with a song, so it's a bit longer than most usual song fics. I'm thinkin' of a sequel so review and tell me if you want one!
***starts and ends the song
^ are thoughts ^
"You Don't Know":
By Mandi Girl
***Who could know the emptiness inside
Every time I see your face
Too many feelings left behind
Do you wonder why
I turn away when you look at me
Never wanting your eyes to see
This desperate heart that knows
How perfect we could be***
Joren of Stone Mountain sat at a small table in the corner of the library. History books, papers, and several other things that needed attending to surrounded him. He couldn't, however, seem to focus on his work. His eyes were drawn to the other side of the library were Neal, Kel, and their friends sat, talking.
"Come on, Kel. You don't want to stoop to their level," Neal had said just a few days ago.
The words rang in his head over and over. Joren could not get his mind off of what had happened. Vinson had cornered Kel and Neal as they were walking to the practice courts. He was arguing with Neal as Joren walked up. Vinson began to call Kel names that made Joren want to lynch him.
^But no. I didn't do anything. If I had done something about it everyone would soon realize my true feelings for that female squire. How even though I hated her in the beginning, I have fallen in love with her in the end. ^
***Baby cause you don't know how I feel
Livin' my life without you
Baby and you don't know what it's like
Lovin' you all this time
I'll give you all my love, heart and soul
Riskin' it all on a chance
And now when I need you the most
You don't know***
Joren shook his head, trying to rid his mind of Kel. He picked up his math book and gazed at the first problem.
^ Kel's really good at math. ^
Joren sighed and put his head in his hands. He finally lifted his head to look over at Kel. He could'nt avoid his feelings, nor the ongoing need inside him for her love.
Kel laughed along with her friends, and a fire of jealousy burned deep within Joren. His eyes followed her mouth as she spoke. He yearned to feel her lips against his, just one time. Joren looked down at his books, then looked at Kel. He sighed again, closing the math book. It was impossible to think of anything else but Keladry.
***All I ever wanted in this world
Baby I found in you
I never felt this way before
But I can't break through
And now I lie awake
Alone at night
So afraid now to close my eyes
Just one more dream of you
I'll carry here inside***
Joren watched as Kel arose from her seat and began to walk toward him. His heart began to pound. She caught his eye, and then immediately looked away, turning now to the right and going into the row of books behind him. He saw Neal and Cleon looking at her as she moved, though they would never admit to noticing Kel in that way. Joren had a hunch Kel loved Neal. Everyone but Kel knew Cleon loved her.
^ It may be too late. One of them might have stolen her heart from me. I love her too much to lose her now. I have to tell her, regardless if she doesn't love me back. I have to get it out. ^
***Baby cause you don't know how I feel
Livin' my life without you
Baby and you don't know what it's like
Lovin' you all this time
I'll give you all my love, heart and soul
Riskin' it all on a chance
And now when I need you the most
You don't know***
Joren rose from his seat and walked to the back were Kel was. Neal and Cleon almost stood when they saw Joren heading for Kel, but their friends stopped them, reminding them how Kel could take care of herself.
Kel was looking at a science book when she was caught off guard. She gasped at the feeling of a hand on her shoulder. She turned to face Joren looking at her. His blue eyes were filled with determination.
"What do you want?" Kel asked harshly.
Instead of answering, Joren pinned her against the corner of the wall, where no one could see, and kissed her. Kel tired to break lose, grabbing at his shirt and trying to wiggle out of his arms. Joren, however, never let her go. He held her tightly, almost as if she were part of him. Kel quit struggling and relaxed into the kiss, finding that she quite enjoyed it.
***And I would hold you all through the night
I would stay right by your side
And I'd give you the world
If you love was mine
But baby could it be I'm only dreamin'
Don't let it pass me by***
Kel slowly opened her eyes, which soon met with Joren's. Joren still held her tightly, and she could feel his chest rising and falling as he took fast breaths. Feeling his heart race at the same beat as hers, Kel suddenly felt an urge for more.
Joren leaned in again, and this time Kel did as well. As their lips met, a surge of energy ran up Kel's spine. Joren wrapped his arms tightly around Kel's waist, closing any gap between their two bodies. The kiss was long, and far more passionate than the last. Finally they broke away, and Joren stared into Kel's eyes once more. Kel smiled at him, and all he could do was grin back. He moved in to graze his lips against hers, and just as he closed his eyes to return for more, he saw Vinson.
Joren pulled away from Kel, confusing her. He looked at Vinson, who looked at the two enemies, or so he thought.
"Great Merciful Mother! Joren, what are you doing?"
Joren looked at Kel. His heart yearned to tell of his love for her, but his mind had a different idea.
"It was all a test, Mindelan. You just as vulnerable as the other women, all we have to do is catch you in bed with on of these lads and you're out of here." Joren's heart ached as he told his lie.
Kel looked at him in confusion, but then the look turned to hatred. She glared at Joren, then, with all her might, she slapped him. Joren took it, knowing it was deserved. She stormed off to her friends and they left, knowing Joren had upset her, but unaware of exactly how. As they walked to the door they all glared at the smiling Vinson and the cold-hearted Joren.
Vinson laughed as he and Joren walked out of the library, "Wow, Joren, you had me there. I almost thought you meant that kiss. You got her good."
Joren felt his cheek, remembering their kiss in detail, and also remembering his lie, "Yeah, I guess I did."
***Baby cause you don't know how I feel
Livin' my life without you
Baby and you don't know what it's like
Lovin' you all this time
I'll give you all my love, heart and soul
Riskin' it all on a chance
And now when I need you the most
You don't know***
Joren laid in his bed that night, thinking only of Keladry, and of the moment he had been waiting for. The moment had finally happened, and the moment he had ruined.
^ Someday I'll remove this mask of hatred I wear to impress Vinson and the others. Someday I'll tell her everything, I'll make her mine. ^
***starts and ends the song
^ are thoughts ^
"You Don't Know":
By Mandi Girl
***Who could know the emptiness inside
Every time I see your face
Too many feelings left behind
Do you wonder why
I turn away when you look at me
Never wanting your eyes to see
This desperate heart that knows
How perfect we could be***
Joren of Stone Mountain sat at a small table in the corner of the library. History books, papers, and several other things that needed attending to surrounded him. He couldn't, however, seem to focus on his work. His eyes were drawn to the other side of the library were Neal, Kel, and their friends sat, talking.
"Come on, Kel. You don't want to stoop to their level," Neal had said just a few days ago.
The words rang in his head over and over. Joren could not get his mind off of what had happened. Vinson had cornered Kel and Neal as they were walking to the practice courts. He was arguing with Neal as Joren walked up. Vinson began to call Kel names that made Joren want to lynch him.
^But no. I didn't do anything. If I had done something about it everyone would soon realize my true feelings for that female squire. How even though I hated her in the beginning, I have fallen in love with her in the end. ^
***Baby cause you don't know how I feel
Livin' my life without you
Baby and you don't know what it's like
Lovin' you all this time
I'll give you all my love, heart and soul
Riskin' it all on a chance
And now when I need you the most
You don't know***
Joren shook his head, trying to rid his mind of Kel. He picked up his math book and gazed at the first problem.
^ Kel's really good at math. ^
Joren sighed and put his head in his hands. He finally lifted his head to look over at Kel. He could'nt avoid his feelings, nor the ongoing need inside him for her love.
Kel laughed along with her friends, and a fire of jealousy burned deep within Joren. His eyes followed her mouth as she spoke. He yearned to feel her lips against his, just one time. Joren looked down at his books, then looked at Kel. He sighed again, closing the math book. It was impossible to think of anything else but Keladry.
***All I ever wanted in this world
Baby I found in you
I never felt this way before
But I can't break through
And now I lie awake
Alone at night
So afraid now to close my eyes
Just one more dream of you
I'll carry here inside***
Joren watched as Kel arose from her seat and began to walk toward him. His heart began to pound. She caught his eye, and then immediately looked away, turning now to the right and going into the row of books behind him. He saw Neal and Cleon looking at her as she moved, though they would never admit to noticing Kel in that way. Joren had a hunch Kel loved Neal. Everyone but Kel knew Cleon loved her.
^ It may be too late. One of them might have stolen her heart from me. I love her too much to lose her now. I have to tell her, regardless if she doesn't love me back. I have to get it out. ^
***Baby cause you don't know how I feel
Livin' my life without you
Baby and you don't know what it's like
Lovin' you all this time
I'll give you all my love, heart and soul
Riskin' it all on a chance
And now when I need you the most
You don't know***
Joren rose from his seat and walked to the back were Kel was. Neal and Cleon almost stood when they saw Joren heading for Kel, but their friends stopped them, reminding them how Kel could take care of herself.
Kel was looking at a science book when she was caught off guard. She gasped at the feeling of a hand on her shoulder. She turned to face Joren looking at her. His blue eyes were filled with determination.
"What do you want?" Kel asked harshly.
Instead of answering, Joren pinned her against the corner of the wall, where no one could see, and kissed her. Kel tired to break lose, grabbing at his shirt and trying to wiggle out of his arms. Joren, however, never let her go. He held her tightly, almost as if she were part of him. Kel quit struggling and relaxed into the kiss, finding that she quite enjoyed it.
***And I would hold you all through the night
I would stay right by your side
And I'd give you the world
If you love was mine
But baby could it be I'm only dreamin'
Don't let it pass me by***
Kel slowly opened her eyes, which soon met with Joren's. Joren still held her tightly, and she could feel his chest rising and falling as he took fast breaths. Feeling his heart race at the same beat as hers, Kel suddenly felt an urge for more.
Joren leaned in again, and this time Kel did as well. As their lips met, a surge of energy ran up Kel's spine. Joren wrapped his arms tightly around Kel's waist, closing any gap between their two bodies. The kiss was long, and far more passionate than the last. Finally they broke away, and Joren stared into Kel's eyes once more. Kel smiled at him, and all he could do was grin back. He moved in to graze his lips against hers, and just as he closed his eyes to return for more, he saw Vinson.
Joren pulled away from Kel, confusing her. He looked at Vinson, who looked at the two enemies, or so he thought.
"Great Merciful Mother! Joren, what are you doing?"
Joren looked at Kel. His heart yearned to tell of his love for her, but his mind had a different idea.
"It was all a test, Mindelan. You just as vulnerable as the other women, all we have to do is catch you in bed with on of these lads and you're out of here." Joren's heart ached as he told his lie.
Kel looked at him in confusion, but then the look turned to hatred. She glared at Joren, then, with all her might, she slapped him. Joren took it, knowing it was deserved. She stormed off to her friends and they left, knowing Joren had upset her, but unaware of exactly how. As they walked to the door they all glared at the smiling Vinson and the cold-hearted Joren.
Vinson laughed as he and Joren walked out of the library, "Wow, Joren, you had me there. I almost thought you meant that kiss. You got her good."
Joren felt his cheek, remembering their kiss in detail, and also remembering his lie, "Yeah, I guess I did."
***Baby cause you don't know how I feel
Livin' my life without you
Baby and you don't know what it's like
Lovin' you all this time
I'll give you all my love, heart and soul
Riskin' it all on a chance
And now when I need you the most
You don't know***
Joren laid in his bed that night, thinking only of Keladry, and of the moment he had been waiting for. The moment had finally happened, and the moment he had ruined.
^ Someday I'll remove this mask of hatred I wear to impress Vinson and the others. Someday I'll tell her everything, I'll make her mine. ^