By Misato Kiki Inverse
I don't have any regrets.
Until now I had a very happy life. In fact I was allowed some things my sisters never were. I should not complain about fairness. Father, in his own way, proved how much he loved me when he named me as the head of the noble family de Jarjeyes. Risking his honor, our family honor he named me... Oscar François de Jarjeyes.
But now... I am torn between my duty and my heart. Because I was not born as a boy. I am a woman.
One should give up its own soul in order to achieve happiness? Why there must be such bondaries for one to fight?
As a woman, I have feelings and I look forward only for a simple and happy life. But as a woman such life is only possible by chance: if the one choosen as my husband happens to be caring and loving man. If I choose such path I would have no right to choose neither my husband, nor my life or even my friends. Can I find true happines, true friendship in such life?
As a man, I can make my life by myself. Fight for a better world. Fight for my happiness. But even so, being a man is only a way to deceive myself. As playing a man's role, I won't be able to engage myself to a proper bride, nor a groom. I will live my life, but even so I will not find my love.
Either way, will the world deny me to find happiness?
I know it is a selfish wish. That at least I was given a choice, when all my sisters could only follow my father's directions and orders, when all women in this world can not follow their own hearts. I know I am blessed.
And at the same time... cursed. My life will not be the same as other girls. I can not held the same dreams. I can not giggle at the same jokes. I can not seek the same happiness.
I can not... because I saw the other side of this coin. I see these dreams are only dreams if one does not fight for them.
As a woman I will never be able to fight.
As a man, I can fight and perhaps... win?
Will you stay by my side, my best friend? Will you fight with me? Will you, Andre?
*****
Author comments (or you can pass this part):
This is not original.
Yes you are right. Being a shoujo manga (comics for girls),
Rose of Versailles probably has a huge amount of personal thoughts
already written. But even so, I think it would be very difficult
for a woman like Oscar to write a diary, and so I wrote it for her.
Oscar is nothing like this!
You know I have to... agree with you, my dear Rose of
Versailles reader/fan! As I only remember the pictures of this
manga, having seem only 8 chapters of the anime, and could not
find all the books, I only can guess who is Oscar, what were
her feelings. That's one of my initial challenges: to understand
her without so much material to be based. Depending of how much
"dislike" reviews I receive, I will take this first chapter out,
and try again when I read the manga properly.
Are you planning to continue?
I do indeed. But don't worry as the next stories I will
find the proper volumes and write paying proper respect to
the original story. I won't try to guess again - too risk.
Thanks for reading.
^v^ KIKI