Ground Zero
Chapter Three
***********
"Doherty! Doherty! Wake up!"
Jimmy shook his head, snapping back to reality. He looked across the lawn towards the voice. His Captain, hands braced firmly on his hips, was standing beside the house.
"Huh, what?" Jimmy stammered, taking a step across the lawn.
"I said, hurry up with the stokes!" The Captain sounded more frustrated with Jimmy at each passing minute. He had already pulled him off the roof for not paying attention to the medics. And now this.
Jimmy adjusted his helmet, standing like a deer caught in the headlights, the stokes basket firm in his grip. Every part of him told him to get over there, but his muscles weren't listening to reason. In his mind he was arguing with himself, trying to urge himself forward, but the process wouldn't let him do two things at once. It was like his muscles wouldn't work if his mind was.
Then the world seemed to phase in and out. It didn't shift. It didn't tilt. It just didn't seem real for one split moment in time. And as abruptly as it had occurred, it ended, and Jimmy was left standing on the lawn short of breath. His hand gripping the stokes started to cramp, causing Jimmy to put it down. He massaged the soreness, trying to relax the muscles, but to little avail.
Looking at his hand, Jimmy noticed it was shaking. He grabbed it with his other hand and took a deep breath. A moment later the cramping ceased, so Jimmy picked the stokes back up- carrying it in his other hand for safety. He had no idea what had caused the momentary lapse in control, but he hadn't liked it.
He had to snap out of it, what *it* was. He convinced himself it was lack of sleep and took a step forward. Feeling secure on his feet, he took another step, then ran across the lawn to the side of the house.
The Captain had returned to the base of the ladder leading up to the roof. "Guys!" he called. "He's coming! Jimmy just got a little lost finding the engine!"
"Lost?!" cried Jimmy, coming around the corner. "Whatta ya mean lost? I'm here."
The Captain glared. "Just get it up to them!" he ordered, losing his patience.
Several minutes later, the man was en route to the hospital with nothing more than a twisted ankle. Jimmy helped clean up the equipment, then jumped into the back of the engine and took a seat next to Lombardo.
The firefighter looked at Jimmy concerned. "Why was the Captain yelling at you back there?" he asked.
"Who knows," huffed Jimmy, slamming his helmet on the floor. He was fuming, his head spinning. He was so angry he couldn't think straight. "He'll find any reason to yell at me!"
"Hey, Jimmy. That's not fair. The Captain doesn't just yell at someone for nothing. If he was yelling at you, chances are you did something to deserve it."
Jimmy drew in a deep breath, trying to calm down. His adrenaline was pumping so hard he was shaking again. "Oh, I screwed up! I didn't get the stokes to you fast enough! Shoot me! The man's gonna die cause I didn't get the stokes to you in two seconds flat!"
Lombardo banged a fist on the window. "You know what?! I don't think I want to talk to you anymore!"
"That's fine with me, buddy!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
Silence.
The rest of the cab inhabitants didn't get involved, but Jimmy had wanted them to. He felt like he wanted a fight. He wanted to lash out and hit something. There was so much pent up energy inside him, he didn't know what else to do with it. He felt like he was walking a tightrope between too much adrenaline and not enough sleep.
Suddenly, Jimmy felt something vague and uncomfortable manifesting in the pit of his stomach. Then it began to hurt. He glanced at the others in the cab, all their eyes reverting everywhere but on him.
Jimmy reached a hand inside his turnout jacket and clutched his stomach with a grimace. The pain was intense; a combined stabbing and tearing in the upper region of his abdomen. He fought back the urge to double over and assume the fetal position on the floor of the cab with every breath. When it began to subside, he let his hand come out from under the jakcet, and rested his head against the window with his eyes closed.
*** *** ***
Station 55.
Kim sat down at the table between Bobby and Lombardo. "Where's Jimmy?" she asked, picking a banana from the bowl.
"He's talking to the Captain," Lombardo replied, jerking his thumb over his shoulder.
"Oh yeah?" asked Bobby, tilting his chair back off his front legs.
"The Cap's pretty steamed at him. You should've heard Jimmy on the ride back! Psycho like even." Lombardo circled his ear with his finger.
"Jimmy's been in a bad mood all day," sighed Bobby. "It's about time someone said something to him."
"He's been fine with me today," shrugged Kim, biting into her fruit.
"He seemed fine to me too," added Lombardo. "Until the ride back. Man, that guy needs some anger management classes. What's gotten into him lately?" he asked, directing his attention to the ex-wife at the table.
Bobby leaned over the table before Kim could reply. "He was completely ignoring me on the roof today. And he just blew up at me when we first arrived this morning. I don't even know what I did?"
Kim couldn't understand what was going on. Lately, Jimmy had been snapping at anyone who had the displeasure of being within range. Then the next minute he was your best friend. And his physical behavior was odd as well. The images of Jimmy sitting amongst the carnage of his apartment the other night came screaming into her mind. But the barrage halted when loud voices boomed from the bay downstairs.
The entire station raced for the stairs and pole, eagerly vying for a good viewing position amongst the argument brewing downstairs. Jimmy and the Captain were screaming at each other, and it was a frightening sight. The subordinate looked on the verge of losing control. And the Captain was so rigid you could smack a two by four across his back, and the board would break.
"I don't give a damn, Doherty!" the Captain yelled, arms folded angrily across his chest.
"You know what your problem is, Captain?!" Jimmy growled, stabbing a finger at the other man's chest.
The Captain knocked the hand away, stepping back. "My problem right now is you, Jimmy! What the hell has gotten into you?! You're losing it!"
Kim noticed the sudden tension in Jimmy's right arm. Jimmy's hand had balled into a fist. She dove for him, restraining the firefighter just in time. Bobby and Lombardo rushed in to help hold him back. It took all three to contain him. He was screaming, trying to struggle free.
Another firefighter went straight for the Captain, but was pushed him away- his angered stare with Jimmy not wanting to be broken. "Get him out of here!" The Captain ordered sternly, not breaking eye contact. "Get out of here, Doherty! Go home! I don't want to see you till your next shift! And if your attitude hasn't changed by then- Don't come back at all!"
The bay grew absolutely still.
When his co-workers started to release their grip, Jimmy shrugged them off vehemently. He pushed past Lombardo and Bobby and headed towards the back door.
The Captain turned away and stormed back into his office.
*** *** ***
"Jimmy!" Kim called, crossing the parking lot.
Jimmy waved his hand over his head and kept walking.
"Jimmy! What's the matter with you? You realize what you almost did?" Kim asked, catching up to him at his car.
Jimmy squinted, pressing his thumbs into his eyes. Slowly he took a deep breath. "I know, Kim. I don't know what came over me- I just couldn't stop myself."
Kim noticed that Jimmy was shaking. "Maybe you shouldn't drive right now? Maybe you don't have to leave? If you apologize..."
"No, Kim. I should go. I'll be fine." Jimmy stepped back and reached for the door handle. "I almost hit the Captain. I definitely should leave."
Kim lowered her head, but kept her eyes on Jimmy. "What's gotten into you lately? Talk to me. Maybe I can help? This isn't like you."
Jimmy shook his head and climbed behind the wheel. "I don't know, Kim," he replied quietly. "Maybe I need to take a little time off to clear my head. I just can't think straight lately." He closed his door and started up the engine. Leaning out his window he looked at his ex-wife. "I'm sure it won't make a difference, but could you tell the Captain I'm sorry."
Kim nodded and watched him pull out of the parking lot. She closed her eyes and braced her hands on her hips. For some reason, she felt letting him drive away had been a big mistake. Stamping her foot on the concrete, she turned to head back in, cursing Jimmy's stubbornness and inability to ask for help.
*** *** ***
August 20. 1700h. EMERG.
"Would you just calm down, Bill!"
"Let go of me ass hole!"
"I said relax, Bill. No one is going to hurt you!"
A nurse came into the hall when she heard the commotion. Two police officers were struggling to restrain one of their own. "What's going on here?" she asked, trying to take control of the situation.
"He cut his hand on some glass during an arrest," stammered Bosco, trying to restrain the irate officer.
"He won't let... he won't..." added Yokas, having trouble concentrating on her speech since the officer was throwing his body against her in an effort to break free.
Finally, Bosco and Yokas were able to press him up against the wall, holding him there with force. "He won't let us help him," she continued, catching her breath. "He's been struggling the whole way here. And he's been acting real strange."
"I thought we'd have to cuff him," stated Bosco, holding the cop's head against the wall.
"No," replied Yokas with a frown. "You *wanted* to cuff him. Get it straight."
"Whatever," sniped Bosco, giving the restrained officer a nudge against the wall. "What the hell's gotten into him? It's like he's on crack or something? He's uncontrollable."
"I'll get a doctor here immediately," offered the nurse. "Take him into treatment room one."
Just as the nurse turned her back, the cop broke free. He bolted down the hallway, skidding on the linoleum where three big security guards blocked his path. His feet slid out from under him as he tried to change directions. Bosco and Yokas jumped on him immediately.
"Get off me!" Bill screamed. "I'll fucking kill you if you don't let go of me!"
*** *** ***
August 20. 2322h. Station 55.
Kim padded into the kitchen, stopping short when she noticed the Captain asleep on the couch- the TV playing softly. Not wanting to disturb him, she tiptoed towards the fridge.
The Captain's voice broke the silence. "Couldn't sleep either?" .
Kim turned, startled. "Uh...yeah..."
He sat up on the couch, making a seat for the paramedic.
Kim joined him and sat down gingerly. She had been dreading this conversation, but knew it was inevitable. Jimmy was in trouble, and people would turn to her since he was never one to advocate needing help. Kim also felt somewhat responsible. Not for Jimmy's actions, but for his well being. They were divorced, but she like to think they still looked out for one another. They watched each other's back. But whatever had crept up on Jimmy, had completely blindsided Kim. She felt guilty for not seeing it coming.
"He's sorry, you know?" she began nervously.
"Forget it. Just forget it." The Captain leaned back, crossing his arms behind his head. "What's done is done. I just want to know what to do now? I- I don't know what to think?"
"I'd like to help, Captain, but I don't know what's gotten into him either. I can't think of anything that could be causing this aggression. I'm mean, it's Jimmy. He's harder to read than Shakespeare sometimes. I should know, I was married to him and I still can't figure him out sometimes."
The Captain regarded her carefully. "Causing what exactly? What's wrong with him? How 'bout his personal life? You see him on his off days with Joey, is something going on there I should be aware of?"
"Nothi- " Kim's voice trailed off. A notice on the bulletin board distracting her. She frowned.
The Captain followed her gaze. Kim was staring at a newspaper clipping depicting the accident on the Clarkeson onramp. "What? What is it?"
There was something about the article, but Kim couldn't put her finger on it. She rolled it around her brain, hoping the pieces would fall into place. That scene kept popping up everywhere; the original call, the other night on the overpass with Bobby, and now the article. She got up from the couch and headed across the room. She pulled the article from the board, brandishing in front of her for the Captain to see.
"What exactly do you know about this accident?" she asked, the article crumpling under her grip.
The Captain scratched his chin contemplatively. "Not much, really. Why?"
Kim turned the article in her hands to stare at the picture of highway- without any rescue crews or over turned tankers. Why hadn't the media used a photo of the scene? Kim looked up at the Captain. "I'm thinking maybe we should know more," she said, eyebrows raised.
*** *** ***
*Author's Note: We're sorry to report a few feelings were hurt during the making of this segment. Several apples in the fruit bowl felt shamefully neglected when Kim choose the banana over any of them. But we turned them into a pie; so they ain't complaining now.
Chapter Three
***********
"Doherty! Doherty! Wake up!"
Jimmy shook his head, snapping back to reality. He looked across the lawn towards the voice. His Captain, hands braced firmly on his hips, was standing beside the house.
"Huh, what?" Jimmy stammered, taking a step across the lawn.
"I said, hurry up with the stokes!" The Captain sounded more frustrated with Jimmy at each passing minute. He had already pulled him off the roof for not paying attention to the medics. And now this.
Jimmy adjusted his helmet, standing like a deer caught in the headlights, the stokes basket firm in his grip. Every part of him told him to get over there, but his muscles weren't listening to reason. In his mind he was arguing with himself, trying to urge himself forward, but the process wouldn't let him do two things at once. It was like his muscles wouldn't work if his mind was.
Then the world seemed to phase in and out. It didn't shift. It didn't tilt. It just didn't seem real for one split moment in time. And as abruptly as it had occurred, it ended, and Jimmy was left standing on the lawn short of breath. His hand gripping the stokes started to cramp, causing Jimmy to put it down. He massaged the soreness, trying to relax the muscles, but to little avail.
Looking at his hand, Jimmy noticed it was shaking. He grabbed it with his other hand and took a deep breath. A moment later the cramping ceased, so Jimmy picked the stokes back up- carrying it in his other hand for safety. He had no idea what had caused the momentary lapse in control, but he hadn't liked it.
He had to snap out of it, what *it* was. He convinced himself it was lack of sleep and took a step forward. Feeling secure on his feet, he took another step, then ran across the lawn to the side of the house.
The Captain had returned to the base of the ladder leading up to the roof. "Guys!" he called. "He's coming! Jimmy just got a little lost finding the engine!"
"Lost?!" cried Jimmy, coming around the corner. "Whatta ya mean lost? I'm here."
The Captain glared. "Just get it up to them!" he ordered, losing his patience.
Several minutes later, the man was en route to the hospital with nothing more than a twisted ankle. Jimmy helped clean up the equipment, then jumped into the back of the engine and took a seat next to Lombardo.
The firefighter looked at Jimmy concerned. "Why was the Captain yelling at you back there?" he asked.
"Who knows," huffed Jimmy, slamming his helmet on the floor. He was fuming, his head spinning. He was so angry he couldn't think straight. "He'll find any reason to yell at me!"
"Hey, Jimmy. That's not fair. The Captain doesn't just yell at someone for nothing. If he was yelling at you, chances are you did something to deserve it."
Jimmy drew in a deep breath, trying to calm down. His adrenaline was pumping so hard he was shaking again. "Oh, I screwed up! I didn't get the stokes to you fast enough! Shoot me! The man's gonna die cause I didn't get the stokes to you in two seconds flat!"
Lombardo banged a fist on the window. "You know what?! I don't think I want to talk to you anymore!"
"That's fine with me, buddy!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
Silence.
The rest of the cab inhabitants didn't get involved, but Jimmy had wanted them to. He felt like he wanted a fight. He wanted to lash out and hit something. There was so much pent up energy inside him, he didn't know what else to do with it. He felt like he was walking a tightrope between too much adrenaline and not enough sleep.
Suddenly, Jimmy felt something vague and uncomfortable manifesting in the pit of his stomach. Then it began to hurt. He glanced at the others in the cab, all their eyes reverting everywhere but on him.
Jimmy reached a hand inside his turnout jacket and clutched his stomach with a grimace. The pain was intense; a combined stabbing and tearing in the upper region of his abdomen. He fought back the urge to double over and assume the fetal position on the floor of the cab with every breath. When it began to subside, he let his hand come out from under the jakcet, and rested his head against the window with his eyes closed.
*** *** ***
Station 55.
Kim sat down at the table between Bobby and Lombardo. "Where's Jimmy?" she asked, picking a banana from the bowl.
"He's talking to the Captain," Lombardo replied, jerking his thumb over his shoulder.
"Oh yeah?" asked Bobby, tilting his chair back off his front legs.
"The Cap's pretty steamed at him. You should've heard Jimmy on the ride back! Psycho like even." Lombardo circled his ear with his finger.
"Jimmy's been in a bad mood all day," sighed Bobby. "It's about time someone said something to him."
"He's been fine with me today," shrugged Kim, biting into her fruit.
"He seemed fine to me too," added Lombardo. "Until the ride back. Man, that guy needs some anger management classes. What's gotten into him lately?" he asked, directing his attention to the ex-wife at the table.
Bobby leaned over the table before Kim could reply. "He was completely ignoring me on the roof today. And he just blew up at me when we first arrived this morning. I don't even know what I did?"
Kim couldn't understand what was going on. Lately, Jimmy had been snapping at anyone who had the displeasure of being within range. Then the next minute he was your best friend. And his physical behavior was odd as well. The images of Jimmy sitting amongst the carnage of his apartment the other night came screaming into her mind. But the barrage halted when loud voices boomed from the bay downstairs.
The entire station raced for the stairs and pole, eagerly vying for a good viewing position amongst the argument brewing downstairs. Jimmy and the Captain were screaming at each other, and it was a frightening sight. The subordinate looked on the verge of losing control. And the Captain was so rigid you could smack a two by four across his back, and the board would break.
"I don't give a damn, Doherty!" the Captain yelled, arms folded angrily across his chest.
"You know what your problem is, Captain?!" Jimmy growled, stabbing a finger at the other man's chest.
The Captain knocked the hand away, stepping back. "My problem right now is you, Jimmy! What the hell has gotten into you?! You're losing it!"
Kim noticed the sudden tension in Jimmy's right arm. Jimmy's hand had balled into a fist. She dove for him, restraining the firefighter just in time. Bobby and Lombardo rushed in to help hold him back. It took all three to contain him. He was screaming, trying to struggle free.
Another firefighter went straight for the Captain, but was pushed him away- his angered stare with Jimmy not wanting to be broken. "Get him out of here!" The Captain ordered sternly, not breaking eye contact. "Get out of here, Doherty! Go home! I don't want to see you till your next shift! And if your attitude hasn't changed by then- Don't come back at all!"
The bay grew absolutely still.
When his co-workers started to release their grip, Jimmy shrugged them off vehemently. He pushed past Lombardo and Bobby and headed towards the back door.
The Captain turned away and stormed back into his office.
*** *** ***
"Jimmy!" Kim called, crossing the parking lot.
Jimmy waved his hand over his head and kept walking.
"Jimmy! What's the matter with you? You realize what you almost did?" Kim asked, catching up to him at his car.
Jimmy squinted, pressing his thumbs into his eyes. Slowly he took a deep breath. "I know, Kim. I don't know what came over me- I just couldn't stop myself."
Kim noticed that Jimmy was shaking. "Maybe you shouldn't drive right now? Maybe you don't have to leave? If you apologize..."
"No, Kim. I should go. I'll be fine." Jimmy stepped back and reached for the door handle. "I almost hit the Captain. I definitely should leave."
Kim lowered her head, but kept her eyes on Jimmy. "What's gotten into you lately? Talk to me. Maybe I can help? This isn't like you."
Jimmy shook his head and climbed behind the wheel. "I don't know, Kim," he replied quietly. "Maybe I need to take a little time off to clear my head. I just can't think straight lately." He closed his door and started up the engine. Leaning out his window he looked at his ex-wife. "I'm sure it won't make a difference, but could you tell the Captain I'm sorry."
Kim nodded and watched him pull out of the parking lot. She closed her eyes and braced her hands on her hips. For some reason, she felt letting him drive away had been a big mistake. Stamping her foot on the concrete, she turned to head back in, cursing Jimmy's stubbornness and inability to ask for help.
*** *** ***
August 20. 1700h. EMERG.
"Would you just calm down, Bill!"
"Let go of me ass hole!"
"I said relax, Bill. No one is going to hurt you!"
A nurse came into the hall when she heard the commotion. Two police officers were struggling to restrain one of their own. "What's going on here?" she asked, trying to take control of the situation.
"He cut his hand on some glass during an arrest," stammered Bosco, trying to restrain the irate officer.
"He won't let... he won't..." added Yokas, having trouble concentrating on her speech since the officer was throwing his body against her in an effort to break free.
Finally, Bosco and Yokas were able to press him up against the wall, holding him there with force. "He won't let us help him," she continued, catching her breath. "He's been struggling the whole way here. And he's been acting real strange."
"I thought we'd have to cuff him," stated Bosco, holding the cop's head against the wall.
"No," replied Yokas with a frown. "You *wanted* to cuff him. Get it straight."
"Whatever," sniped Bosco, giving the restrained officer a nudge against the wall. "What the hell's gotten into him? It's like he's on crack or something? He's uncontrollable."
"I'll get a doctor here immediately," offered the nurse. "Take him into treatment room one."
Just as the nurse turned her back, the cop broke free. He bolted down the hallway, skidding on the linoleum where three big security guards blocked his path. His feet slid out from under him as he tried to change directions. Bosco and Yokas jumped on him immediately.
"Get off me!" Bill screamed. "I'll fucking kill you if you don't let go of me!"
*** *** ***
August 20. 2322h. Station 55.
Kim padded into the kitchen, stopping short when she noticed the Captain asleep on the couch- the TV playing softly. Not wanting to disturb him, she tiptoed towards the fridge.
The Captain's voice broke the silence. "Couldn't sleep either?" .
Kim turned, startled. "Uh...yeah..."
He sat up on the couch, making a seat for the paramedic.
Kim joined him and sat down gingerly. She had been dreading this conversation, but knew it was inevitable. Jimmy was in trouble, and people would turn to her since he was never one to advocate needing help. Kim also felt somewhat responsible. Not for Jimmy's actions, but for his well being. They were divorced, but she like to think they still looked out for one another. They watched each other's back. But whatever had crept up on Jimmy, had completely blindsided Kim. She felt guilty for not seeing it coming.
"He's sorry, you know?" she began nervously.
"Forget it. Just forget it." The Captain leaned back, crossing his arms behind his head. "What's done is done. I just want to know what to do now? I- I don't know what to think?"
"I'd like to help, Captain, but I don't know what's gotten into him either. I can't think of anything that could be causing this aggression. I'm mean, it's Jimmy. He's harder to read than Shakespeare sometimes. I should know, I was married to him and I still can't figure him out sometimes."
The Captain regarded her carefully. "Causing what exactly? What's wrong with him? How 'bout his personal life? You see him on his off days with Joey, is something going on there I should be aware of?"
"Nothi- " Kim's voice trailed off. A notice on the bulletin board distracting her. She frowned.
The Captain followed her gaze. Kim was staring at a newspaper clipping depicting the accident on the Clarkeson onramp. "What? What is it?"
There was something about the article, but Kim couldn't put her finger on it. She rolled it around her brain, hoping the pieces would fall into place. That scene kept popping up everywhere; the original call, the other night on the overpass with Bobby, and now the article. She got up from the couch and headed across the room. She pulled the article from the board, brandishing in front of her for the Captain to see.
"What exactly do you know about this accident?" she asked, the article crumpling under her grip.
The Captain scratched his chin contemplatively. "Not much, really. Why?"
Kim turned the article in her hands to stare at the picture of highway- without any rescue crews or over turned tankers. Why hadn't the media used a photo of the scene? Kim looked up at the Captain. "I'm thinking maybe we should know more," she said, eyebrows raised.
*** *** ***
*Author's Note: We're sorry to report a few feelings were hurt during the making of this segment. Several apples in the fruit bowl felt shamefully neglected when Kim choose the banana over any of them. But we turned them into a pie; so they ain't complaining now.