CASTLEVANIA
Search For the Cool-Looking Sunglasses
Chapter 3: Boss, Dude!!!
Alucard took out his Castlevania: SFCLS handbook and flipped through the pages until he found what he was looking for: SECTION 3: DEFEAT SLOGRA AND GAIBION. "Ok," murmured Alucard "lets see how to kill these dudes." While Alucard was looking in his book, a skeletal bird thing named Slogra was stabbing the air stupidly across the screen from Alucard. A flying bat-demon-evil-monster-lizard-thing-of-doom named Gaibion was flying above Alucard and shooting fireballs with machine-gun rapidity ineffectually against Alucard's shield. Meanwhile, Alucard had found the BOSSES section of the manual. Under a fuzzy bitmap picture of Gaibion carrying Slogra, the manual had one sentence: "Use soul steal until they die." Alucard stared and said "Hmmm… twenty bucks doesn't buy what it used to. Oh well, let's skip to the SPELLS section." Alucard did, and the entry under SOUL STEAL said: B BD D FD F B+O. "Let's do this!" exclaimed Alucard. In the next few moments, Alucard looked as if he was trying to disco to rap music, or that he was suffering from epilepsy. After five minutes or so, a tiny white light appeared, instantly killed both Slogra and Gaibion, and then disappeared. Alucard dropped to the floor, exhausted, as a pulsating rainbow thing fell on his head, cracked open, and miraculously, did negative damage. Alucard ran out of the room muttering "It's a screwed up world. It's true, it's true."
NEXT TIME: Floating Eye Gallery