Chapter Three
Lessons in Magic, Cooking, and Driving


What was that?

Was it...a voice?

Singing?

Where was he?

Who was he?

He hurt.

Everywhere.

Was he alive?

Was he dead?

He didn't know.

He didn't know...

Anything.

But...

That voice.

Not singing.

Speaking.

To him.

"ay...Are you okay?"

"Huh?"

"I said, are you okay?"

Kuja tried as hard as he could to open his eyes, but he couldn't.

"My eyes..."

"Oh! Of course! Let me get the cloth off them for you."

He felt a weight being removed from his eyes, and he opened them again, blinking at the harsh sunlight.

"Where...am I?"

"My house," the voice replied.

Kuja turned his head slightly the see who the speaker was. It was a girl, with honey brown curly locks that barely reached her ears, though it still flowed freely. Her eyes were the lightest honey brown he had ever seen. She wore denim shorts and a white shirt that had very thin straps.

"Who are you?"

"My name is Clove, but most people just call me Clover. Now it's my turn. Who are you, and how on earth did you get so beat up?"

Kuja groaned and sat up painfully.

"Be careful," Clover warned. "You're gonna hurt for a while."

"Tell me about it. My name is Kuja."

"Kuja? What a weird name."

"What?"

"Oh, I meant no offense!"

"Alright, then. I think someone cast Ultimate End on me, and that's why I'm so beat up. If I researched the spell correctly, I shouldn't be alive."

Clover looked at him like he was crazy. "Uh...spell? You mean like magic?"

"Oh course, magic. What else did you think it was?"

"I think you got your head whacked a little too many times. Magic doesn't exist. Not here, anyway."

"Where is here?"

"Seattle."

"Sea...what?"

"Seattle. You know, in Washington state, in the U.S.A.?"

"U.S.A.? What's that?"

"Um. . . Alright, let's do it this way. Where do you come from?"

"I was born on Terra, but last time I checked, I was on Gaia, in the Black Mage Village."

"Uh...right."

"You don't believe me."

"Well, duh. However, if your from another planet, that would explain why you have a. . .well, a tail."

"How did you see my tail?!" Kuja gasped. He suddenly realized he wasn't wearing anything. "Where are my clothes?"

Clover pointed to a chair. Kuja's entire ensemble of clothing was there.

"Don't know why you want them, though. I mean, sure, they're nice colors, and probably expensive too, but the thong... That wouldn't go to well with just about anyone here."

"Um.. You weren't the one.. who... um ...Took my clothes off, were you?"

"Of course I was, silly!" the girl replied. Suddenly she grinned and stood up. "My only complaint was that your so skinny."

Kuja blushed furiously.

"Speaking of skinny, I'll go get you some food."

"What am I supposed to wear in the meantime?" Kuja asked.

"Whatever you want. I might have some pants or shorts or something that'll fit you. Just don't look in the first drawer. I think what's in there is a little bit out of your league," Clover said with a wink, and left the room.

Kuja, shaking his head at such a blunt woman, began to search her drawers. He avoided the first one, deciding to take her word on it. He eventually found a fair of denim shorts that went a little bit past his knees.

Clover close that moment to walk into the room.

"Oh good, at least I didn't catch you with my pants down," she said with a grin.

He had to smile. "I've never met anyone with your sense of humor before."

"Really? Funny, there seems to be a lot of girls like me around her. Well, not quite so out of touch with reality, but that's close enough. Hmm. That's really interesting."

"What is?" Kuja asked curiously.

"You don't seem crazy."

"Yes, about that. I can prove it to you."

"Really? How?" Clover's skeptical attitude was apparent.

"I'll cast a spell."

Clover's right eyebrow went up. "You have my undivided attention."

"Do you have anything that I could burn?"

Clover laughed. "You could light all the candle's in my room with a single sweep of your hand, close the door without touching it, an then make me float to the ceiling," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Fair enough."

Kuja swept his right arm round in a circle, and every single candy within the room blazed. He pointed a long finger at the door behind Clover, and it quietly shut. Then he raised both hands in the hair, and Clover blinked furiously from the ceiling.

"Um. . . You were telling the truth, weren't you?"

"Of course I was. Would you like to come down now?"

Meekly, Clover nodded. Then she was bursting with questions.

"Holy hell! How long have you been able to do that? Can you do anymore? Oh, I almost forgot! You're still hungry, aren't you? I'll be right back, okay?"

Clover rushed from the room, almost exploding with glee.

Kuja followed her out. Her house was strange. The white carpet. The soft looking white couches. He had never seen furniture like it.

A wonderful smell directed him to the kitchen. Clover was flipping a sandwich on a black skillet. Kuja came up beside her.

"What kind of sandwich is that?" he asked.

"Grilled cheese."

"Oh. And. . . Where is the fire to cook it with?"

She laughed. "I take it you don't have electricity where you come from."

"Elec...what?"

"Electricity. Go over to the wall there, and flip that switch."

Kuja obeyed, and gasped as a light turned on the ceiling.

"You lied to me," he said flatly.

"I did?" Her face showed obvious surprise as she flipped the sandwich over again.

"Yes. You told me there was no magic here."

Clover laughed again. "There isn't any. I should get you together with my technology teacher at school. You'll be fascinated when you learn what this world has in store for you, Kuja."