Diablo Poo!
By Demoness
hellkitty_demoness@gundamwing.org
Diablo belongs to BLIZZARD and not me. If it were mine, the barbarian would have more hair, the Paladin would wear cornrows than just a bald headed ass, the Amazon's hair would be *blue* instead of that ugly blonde *barfs*, the sorceress wouldn't have a tacky top and the necromancer would be a lot more hated than just Gheed. The only characters are mine are Hadriel, Adaia, Silvermoon, Hawkeye, Wallis, Lillita, Chauncie, and Marshall and some others that only came from my head and not Blizzard's.
I was inspired by Rush Hour 2, the Wayne Brady Show and last night's episode of WWF Smackdown, so sue me! If you think this is stupid, email me. Flames aren't welcome because they're stupid and immature. If you insist, there'll be hell to pay.
Prologue
"Everyone gather along," Deckard Cain said one night to some children at a campfire at the Rogue Encampment. It was seven-thirty in the evening, and the children were full of energy for the night. They run around in the camp, pestering every rogue and warrior, throwing eggs at Gheed's cheap old weapons and tent. They scared off chickens, thrown their wastes at Gheed, and sometimes shoot stones at him. The five children, Lillita, Wallis, Chauncie, Tommy, and Kimmie gathered at the campfire, excited. Deckard Cain told them the best stories, and surprisingly never put them to sleep.
"What story will you tell us now?" Lillita jumped up to him, cheerfully. She was the biggest fan of Deckard Cain; she loved his stories about the Amazons and rogues. She was a fox-humanoid; the only fox features she had were red ears on her head and a bushy tail. "Will you tell about the Wrestler now?"
"Wrestling is SO fake!" Kimmie chimed in. She was ten and stuck up; her hair was always groomed and always wore the most expensive clothes. "Why don't you tell about the beautiful Amazons? They fight, and they're STILL very pretty..."
"That's not exactly true," Cain stroked his beard. "Some Amazons get the worse scars. Beauty is nothing for an Amazon..."
"Amazons are punks!" Wallis exclaimed, sticking his tongue at Kimmie. "Tell about the Barbarians, and how they can knock you stupid with one blow..." Wallis smirked. "I wanna be just like them.."
"Oh please," Muttered Chauncie. "Tell about the Necromancers, and about how they bring back the dead..." Chauncie was the quiet girl out of these pestering children. She didn't do anything else other than throw eggs at Gheed. She was the isolated one; trapped in her anti-social darkness. She had black hair and black eyes, and gave an evil look toward people.
"You guys are weird," Tommy said. "Talk about the Paladins..I want to be one...--"
"Oh shut up," Lillita snapped. "You just want Cain to talk more boring crap about your dad.."
"At least I'm not into that fake wrestling crap you do...You can barely make one move to prove that wrestling is real..."
"You holy piece of.." Lillita stopped.
"Quiet all of you!" Cain hissed. "I'm not only going to tell you about these heroes, I'm also telling you about how they slain The Lord Of Terror..."
"What's that?" The five children asked.
"The Lord of Terror was Diablo, the demon who always tries to destroy the world." Cain stroked on his beard again. "If it wasn't for your father, Tommy, and the rest of the heroes who have helped him, none of you would be here..."
"That's quite obvious..." Chauncie muttered.
"Did a wrestler help destroy him?"
"Why yes, as a matter of fact, she weakened him with her acrobatic wrestling moves. She did not believe in magic, she believed in her fists and feet...."
"Oh come on, already!" Wallis said, overwhelmed. "Start the story already!"
"Alright, I'll start..." Cain said, and he began his tale...
**********************
Ok, I know it sucks, but in the next few chapters, it'll get better, I promise.
By Demoness
hellkitty_demoness@gundamwing.org
Diablo belongs to BLIZZARD and not me. If it were mine, the barbarian would have more hair, the Paladin would wear cornrows than just a bald headed ass, the Amazon's hair would be *blue* instead of that ugly blonde *barfs*, the sorceress wouldn't have a tacky top and the necromancer would be a lot more hated than just Gheed. The only characters are mine are Hadriel, Adaia, Silvermoon, Hawkeye, Wallis, Lillita, Chauncie, and Marshall and some others that only came from my head and not Blizzard's.
I was inspired by Rush Hour 2, the Wayne Brady Show and last night's episode of WWF Smackdown, so sue me! If you think this is stupid, email me. Flames aren't welcome because they're stupid and immature. If you insist, there'll be hell to pay.
Prologue
"Everyone gather along," Deckard Cain said one night to some children at a campfire at the Rogue Encampment. It was seven-thirty in the evening, and the children were full of energy for the night. They run around in the camp, pestering every rogue and warrior, throwing eggs at Gheed's cheap old weapons and tent. They scared off chickens, thrown their wastes at Gheed, and sometimes shoot stones at him. The five children, Lillita, Wallis, Chauncie, Tommy, and Kimmie gathered at the campfire, excited. Deckard Cain told them the best stories, and surprisingly never put them to sleep.
"What story will you tell us now?" Lillita jumped up to him, cheerfully. She was the biggest fan of Deckard Cain; she loved his stories about the Amazons and rogues. She was a fox-humanoid; the only fox features she had were red ears on her head and a bushy tail. "Will you tell about the Wrestler now?"
"Wrestling is SO fake!" Kimmie chimed in. She was ten and stuck up; her hair was always groomed and always wore the most expensive clothes. "Why don't you tell about the beautiful Amazons? They fight, and they're STILL very pretty..."
"That's not exactly true," Cain stroked his beard. "Some Amazons get the worse scars. Beauty is nothing for an Amazon..."
"Amazons are punks!" Wallis exclaimed, sticking his tongue at Kimmie. "Tell about the Barbarians, and how they can knock you stupid with one blow..." Wallis smirked. "I wanna be just like them.."
"Oh please," Muttered Chauncie. "Tell about the Necromancers, and about how they bring back the dead..." Chauncie was the quiet girl out of these pestering children. She didn't do anything else other than throw eggs at Gheed. She was the isolated one; trapped in her anti-social darkness. She had black hair and black eyes, and gave an evil look toward people.
"You guys are weird," Tommy said. "Talk about the Paladins..I want to be one...--"
"Oh shut up," Lillita snapped. "You just want Cain to talk more boring crap about your dad.."
"At least I'm not into that fake wrestling crap you do...You can barely make one move to prove that wrestling is real..."
"You holy piece of.." Lillita stopped.
"Quiet all of you!" Cain hissed. "I'm not only going to tell you about these heroes, I'm also telling you about how they slain The Lord Of Terror..."
"What's that?" The five children asked.
"The Lord of Terror was Diablo, the demon who always tries to destroy the world." Cain stroked on his beard again. "If it wasn't for your father, Tommy, and the rest of the heroes who have helped him, none of you would be here..."
"That's quite obvious..." Chauncie muttered.
"Did a wrestler help destroy him?"
"Why yes, as a matter of fact, she weakened him with her acrobatic wrestling moves. She did not believe in magic, she believed in her fists and feet...."
"Oh come on, already!" Wallis said, overwhelmed. "Start the story already!"
"Alright, I'll start..." Cain said, and he began his tale...
**********************
Ok, I know it sucks, but in the next few chapters, it'll get better, I promise.