SYSTEM DEATHMATCH
Chaper 2
UM:Welcome back thrill readers, as we are ready to commence round1
of the competition, right Sonic?
Sonic:Yeah i'm sure we'll all get a kick out of it YOU TWO-TIMING
FREAK.
UM:(O_O)excuse me?
Sonic:Whoops did I just say that out loud?^_^
UM:Ahem.Anyway a few minutes ago we took the time to interview
the contestants before the match.I went to see Miss Croft.
and Sonic....
Sonic:YOU HAD ME INTERVIEW A SQUIRREL WITH A B.O. PROBLEM,
HE WAS DRUNK AND HE URINATED ON ME!!!
UM:Hey you lost the coin toss and it wasn't my fault he was drunk.
Now on with the interview.
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UM:Now Miss Croft how is it that you've maintained your status as
a favorite among gamers.(As if I didn't know)
LC:Well i'd like to think i've been able to be so popular because
of...uhhh excuse me.
UM:(o_o)
LC:sir.
UM:(o_o)
LC:SIR!!!
UM:(o_o They're so BIG)
LC:EXCUSE ME!!!
UM:uhhh what?(God she's hot!)
LC:Do you need some cold water?
UM:WHOA how'd that happen.Interview is OVER.
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UM:As you can see Lara is a major hottie end of story.
Sonic:(v_v) your'e a complete perv.
UM:Well at least I didn't interview conker. Now let's see that
clip.
Sonic:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Please by all that is sacred and holy please
don't show it.
UM:AWWWWWW. Are you saying you don't want your money?
Sonic:(-_-)(His head is MINE!)
UM:I didn't think so.Roll it.
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Sonic:here I am with the first contestant conker.(God help me)
Conker:YeR nOt my MOtHer*hiccup*
Sonic:uhh are you drunk
Conker:SUre I dO. bUT onLy to CUtE onEs.
Sonic:Okay, that's it get me out of here!!
Conker:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH that feels good.
Sonic:........YOU LOUSY(BEEEEEEEEP)I'M GONNA BUST YOUR(BEEEEEEEEP)
YOU(BEEEP)(BEEP)(BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP)
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UM:Remind me to get you some help after this is over.
Sonic:(BEEEEEP)you
UM:Now without further adeu, the start to the first match.
Announcer:In the red corner weighing in at 70 pounds. The horniest
squirrel you'll ever meet CONKER.
*Conker comes out in his MATRIX costume.Comes in the ring in a sober mood.*
UM:Looks like conker will be all sobered up for this round.
Sonic:(grumble)bite me.
Announcer:and in the blue corner weighing in at...uhh well she didn't tell
us. The sexiest hottie in video games LARA CROFT.
*as soon as Lara enters all the guys and even a few women start yelling
like kids going through puberty, maybe they are.*
Announcer:LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLE!!!*Bell Rings*
UM:Okay the rules are simple.You fight to the death, and you are only
allowed to use weapons and equipment used in the game they were in.
LC:Get ready to become part of my stuffed animal collection you prick.
Conker:Ohhhhh a foxy one eh. I'm gonna enjoy this one.*pulls out a pair of
machine guns.*
LC:Oh yeah I can play that game to.*pulls out a pair of uzis*
Sonic:Looks like it's a standoff.
UM:(o_o)
Sonic:Hey UM are you alright.
UM:(o_o)MARRY ME LARA, I WILL BE YOUR LOVE GOD FOR ALL ETERNITY.
Sonic:(v_v)perv.Wait it looks like both have started firing.
LC:Alright you walking leg warmer EAT this.*Fires directly at conkers head*
Conker:HA! That's pathetic.*Dodges the bullets matrix style*
LC:What the bloody Hell is that?
Conker:Oh you wanna see well i'll show you.*Begins firing gun at super fast speed*
LC:Crap! No Time.*Lara resorts to jumping high in the air to avoid the bullets*
Sonic:Wow this could end up going on for hours.
UM:Go Lara you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind go Lara.
Sonic:(That's it you moron. Swoon over the woman. Meanwhile i'll put my plan
of swift revenge into action that will have all of you rue the day you
messed with me)HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
UM:(o_O)uhh sonic?
Sonic:uhhh look there's Lara.
UM:(O_O)Ahhh my love goddess.
LC:(Damn he's just gonna keep dodging them. I've got to find a way to distract him.
Wait a minute...I GOT IT.)
Conker:Man I like this girl, maybe i'll have a little fun before I kill her. Hey what's
she doing.
*Conkers jaw drops as Lara drops her guns. He gets even more spaced out as she starts
to seductively remove her shirt*
Sonic:Hey is she doing what I think she's doing? Wow she is!!!
UM:OH......MY........GOD.....YES SHE IS!!!!(Faints)
LC:Well squirell boy, come and get some.
Conker:Yowsa...Yes M'am!
LC:Are you sure you want it?
Conker:I've never been more sure in my life.
LC:Then..here...you....GO!!!*Sticks knife in Conkers chest*
Conker:AUUUGGGHHHH!Stabbed in the back...or rather this time the chest.
Goodbye cruel...cruel...cruel...
LC:Will you hurry up!
Conker:Fine, okay....Cruel....world.
Announcer:LARA CROFT IS THE WINNER!!!!
Crowd:WE LOVE YOU LARA!!!
UM:unnnhhhh...hey what...happend
Sonic:Conker was about to put the moves on Croft.
UM:WHAT!!!THAT BASTARD, I'LL KILL HIM.
Sonic:He's already dead.
UM:Oh uhhhh good then, cause I would've shown him a thing or two that's for sure.
Sonic:Yeah right.
UM:Well lets meet with the winner. Hey lara how does...it feel...to uhh(O_O)*faints again*
LC:What's wrong with him.
Sonic:Uh lara, nows a good time to put your shirt back on.
LC:Oh yeah, sorry.
Sonic:No prob he needs the rest anyway.
LC:Well it's been fun, but I got to find a tomb to raid.
Sonic:Yeah right. Well all you viewers out there, Croft won and UM is unconscious.
See you next time when our next match will be...Pikachu Vs. Nemesis.(Hmmmm
maybe I can get the check while he's out)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Note:Well there you have it. Now be a good reader and review, I'm eager to hear
what you think, and if you have an idea who should win by all means speak
up. Until then keep on typing.
Chaper 2
UM:Welcome back thrill readers, as we are ready to commence round1
of the competition, right Sonic?
Sonic:Yeah i'm sure we'll all get a kick out of it YOU TWO-TIMING
FREAK.
UM:(O_O)excuse me?
Sonic:Whoops did I just say that out loud?^_^
UM:Ahem.Anyway a few minutes ago we took the time to interview
the contestants before the match.I went to see Miss Croft.
and Sonic....
Sonic:YOU HAD ME INTERVIEW A SQUIRREL WITH A B.O. PROBLEM,
HE WAS DRUNK AND HE URINATED ON ME!!!
UM:Hey you lost the coin toss and it wasn't my fault he was drunk.
Now on with the interview.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
UM:Now Miss Croft how is it that you've maintained your status as
a favorite among gamers.(As if I didn't know)
LC:Well i'd like to think i've been able to be so popular because
of...uhhh excuse me.
UM:(o_o)
LC:sir.
UM:(o_o)
LC:SIR!!!
UM:(o_o They're so BIG)
LC:EXCUSE ME!!!
UM:uhhh what?(God she's hot!)
LC:Do you need some cold water?
UM:WHOA how'd that happen.Interview is OVER.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
UM:As you can see Lara is a major hottie end of story.
Sonic:(v_v) your'e a complete perv.
UM:Well at least I didn't interview conker. Now let's see that
clip.
Sonic:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Please by all that is sacred and holy please
don't show it.
UM:AWWWWWW. Are you saying you don't want your money?
Sonic:(-_-)(His head is MINE!)
UM:I didn't think so.Roll it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sonic:here I am with the first contestant conker.(God help me)
Conker:YeR nOt my MOtHer*hiccup*
Sonic:uhh are you drunk
Conker:SUre I dO. bUT onLy to CUtE onEs.
Sonic:Okay, that's it get me out of here!!
Conker:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH that feels good.
Sonic:........YOU LOUSY(BEEEEEEEEP)I'M GONNA BUST YOUR(BEEEEEEEEP)
YOU(BEEEP)(BEEP)(BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
UM:Remind me to get you some help after this is over.
Sonic:(BEEEEEP)you
UM:Now without further adeu, the start to the first match.
Announcer:In the red corner weighing in at 70 pounds. The horniest
squirrel you'll ever meet CONKER.
*Conker comes out in his MATRIX costume.Comes in the ring in a sober mood.*
UM:Looks like conker will be all sobered up for this round.
Sonic:(grumble)bite me.
Announcer:and in the blue corner weighing in at...uhh well she didn't tell
us. The sexiest hottie in video games LARA CROFT.
*as soon as Lara enters all the guys and even a few women start yelling
like kids going through puberty, maybe they are.*
Announcer:LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLE!!!*Bell Rings*
UM:Okay the rules are simple.You fight to the death, and you are only
allowed to use weapons and equipment used in the game they were in.
LC:Get ready to become part of my stuffed animal collection you prick.
Conker:Ohhhhh a foxy one eh. I'm gonna enjoy this one.*pulls out a pair of
machine guns.*
LC:Oh yeah I can play that game to.*pulls out a pair of uzis*
Sonic:Looks like it's a standoff.
UM:(o_o)
Sonic:Hey UM are you alright.
UM:(o_o)MARRY ME LARA, I WILL BE YOUR LOVE GOD FOR ALL ETERNITY.
Sonic:(v_v)perv.Wait it looks like both have started firing.
LC:Alright you walking leg warmer EAT this.*Fires directly at conkers head*
Conker:HA! That's pathetic.*Dodges the bullets matrix style*
LC:What the bloody Hell is that?
Conker:Oh you wanna see well i'll show you.*Begins firing gun at super fast speed*
LC:Crap! No Time.*Lara resorts to jumping high in the air to avoid the bullets*
Sonic:Wow this could end up going on for hours.
UM:Go Lara you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind go Lara.
Sonic:(That's it you moron. Swoon over the woman. Meanwhile i'll put my plan
of swift revenge into action that will have all of you rue the day you
messed with me)HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
UM:(o_O)uhh sonic?
Sonic:uhhh look there's Lara.
UM:(O_O)Ahhh my love goddess.
LC:(Damn he's just gonna keep dodging them. I've got to find a way to distract him.
Wait a minute...I GOT IT.)
Conker:Man I like this girl, maybe i'll have a little fun before I kill her. Hey what's
she doing.
*Conkers jaw drops as Lara drops her guns. He gets even more spaced out as she starts
to seductively remove her shirt*
Sonic:Hey is she doing what I think she's doing? Wow she is!!!
UM:OH......MY........GOD.....YES SHE IS!!!!(Faints)
LC:Well squirell boy, come and get some.
Conker:Yowsa...Yes M'am!
LC:Are you sure you want it?
Conker:I've never been more sure in my life.
LC:Then..here...you....GO!!!*Sticks knife in Conkers chest*
Conker:AUUUGGGHHHH!Stabbed in the back...or rather this time the chest.
Goodbye cruel...cruel...cruel...
LC:Will you hurry up!
Conker:Fine, okay....Cruel....world.
Announcer:LARA CROFT IS THE WINNER!!!!
Crowd:WE LOVE YOU LARA!!!
UM:unnnhhhh...hey what...happend
Sonic:Conker was about to put the moves on Croft.
UM:WHAT!!!THAT BASTARD, I'LL KILL HIM.
Sonic:He's already dead.
UM:Oh uhhhh good then, cause I would've shown him a thing or two that's for sure.
Sonic:Yeah right.
UM:Well lets meet with the winner. Hey lara how does...it feel...to uhh(O_O)*faints again*
LC:What's wrong with him.
Sonic:Uh lara, nows a good time to put your shirt back on.
LC:Oh yeah, sorry.
Sonic:No prob he needs the rest anyway.
LC:Well it's been fun, but I got to find a tomb to raid.
Sonic:Yeah right. Well all you viewers out there, Croft won and UM is unconscious.
See you next time when our next match will be...Pikachu Vs. Nemesis.(Hmmmm
maybe I can get the check while he's out)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Note:Well there you have it. Now be a good reader and review, I'm eager to hear
what you think, and if you have an idea who should win by all means speak
up. Until then keep on typing.