DISCLAIMER: I own it all!! Yeah!! I RULE THE WORLD!!!
ANTI-DISCLAIMER: If you believed the disclaimer, you are in need of some serious help.
CLAIMER: I own Lili, and Lucky's Lair. That's it.
(A/N) This chapter is GOING TO HAVE SOME ROMANCE! :::Therapist:: Okay, say your mantra, M.W.
:::Moon Warrior::: I can write romance, I can write romance, I can write romance, I can write romance.....
CHAPTER ELEVEN: LUCKY'S LAIR
It seemed incredible how many ways people could insult each other, Harry mused idly, watching Lili and Draco argue vehemently over which was the best way to get to America. Draco was all for flying over, but Lili found problems with this.
"What the hell do you propose to do about food, water, and bathroom stuff? It'll take a friggin' MONTH to cross the ocean! So, you're just going to drink salt water and crap while flying, like a damn pigeon? Go ahead, I'll see you in the zoo."
"Oh, well, you think you're a goddamn genius, don't you? You've put down all my ideas so far, why don't you try giving out one of your own? Might be a nice change of pace. And there is no goddamn way I am paying for Muggle plane tickets for all of you. If there's no other way, though, I might have to pay for Weasley. Gods know his family couldn't pay for the free peanuts." Draco sneered at Ron. Hermione had wrapped her arm around his neck to keep him from attacking Draco and was whispering soothingly in his ear.
Lili ignored Draco's comment about Ron. "As if I'd do anything where I owed you a favor," she said scathingly. "No, we can use Floo powder to travel to my home in New York, and go to Lake Superior from there. Only problem is, you'd all have to put up with my sister, the Evil One. Once you've shared a house with her, Voldemort will make you laugh."
"And where the hell are we supposed to get Floo powder? I'm sorry, but I forgot to bring it when I was packing up for my life-threatening mission," Draco commented sarcastically.
"Ahem," Hermione said loudly. "Sorry to burst your bubble, Malfoy, but unlike you, I happen to be prepared for anything. I have some Floo powder."
Draco, having no response for this, simply rolled his eyes. Hermione slung her knapsack off her back and began rummaging around in it while Ron conjured up a large fire. It got a little out of control, and Harry ended up with a singe on his robe, but in the end, nothing was damaged (permenantly).
"Okay, so when you step into the fire, shout "Lucky's Lair," and keep your head down, I've got some stuff hanging down over the edge of the fireplace. And be careful not to get soot on the carpet, my Mom'll kill me, and then I'll have to vacuum. Housework. Right up there with teenyboppers."
The other four looked at her skeptically. "Why 'Lucky's Lair?'" Ron voiced what all four were thinking.
Lili, amazingly, turned a bright shade of red. "Well, it's kind of embarrasing, but... well, I haven't really been showing it, but I'm a really hyper person, when I feel like it. One day in my fourth year, I started singing the Lucky Charms song repeatedly to annoy this girl in my Potions class. Lucky Charms is a Muggle cereal," she added to a confused Draco and Ron. "So then Cassa and the rest of my friends started calling me Lucky Charms. It kind of stuck, and there was this one commercial where Lucky the Leprechaun was looking for a place to hide from the freaky kids trying to steal his big bowl o' sugar. I decided that my bedroom was where he was hiding from the little animated freaks, and so I named my room Lucky's Lair."
They all looked at her. "You really like this cereal, don't you?" Hermione remarked.
"Actually, no. I just like the song and the name. Plus I was on a sugar high." She looked around at all of them. "So, are we going or not? Get yer asses moving!" And she threw a handful of Floo in the fire. Draco took a step into the fire, shouting, "Lucky's Lair!" Hermione was next, and then Ron, who barely managed to say it clearly, he was trying not to laugh.
As the green hue of the fire began to fade, Lili looked at Harry in panic. "We have to go together, now, or else we'll be stuck. There's not enough Floo for another trip." Lili set up two charms Harry didn't recognize, and then shouted "Lucky's Lair!" While pulling Harry into the now almost-orange flames. They felt a searing heat for a second, as the Floo powder wore off completely, and then, thankfully, the familiar sensation of moving swiftly through the Floo network. They stepped out into what must have been Lili's room, and Harry felt a pang of dissapointment as she let go of his hand, which she had been holding onto firmly throughout the Floo trip.
She flopped down on the floor, as the bed was already under the weight of Ron and Hermione, and Draco occupied the large spring green inflatable chair. Harry collapsed on top of her as he felt the trip catch up with him.
"I think I left my stomach back in Asia," she moaned. "You think they got a UPS that can deliver it here?"
Draco stood up unsteadily, one hand on his stomach, the other in front of his mouth. "Where's the bathroom?" He managed to choke out.
"Down the hall, first door on the left," Lili mumbled. Draco manuvered his way across the room and raced down the hall. A few seconds later, they all heard the sound of retching.
"Sounds like Malfoy has a weak stomach," Ron commented sickly.
"Eurgh, don't talk," Hermione moaned. "Your head is on my stomach, it's making me sick."
"Weasely's head would make anyone sick," said Draco from his place leaning against the doorjamb. His face was paler than usual, and his voice was ragged. Hermione rolled her eyes. Ron didn't even bother to look at Draco.
Lili shoved Harry off her legs and staggered over to the door. She went across the hall and knocked on a door painted blue. A girl of about thirteen with shining, straight dark hair and the obvious ability for a career in modeling opened it, and the screams of horrible pop music could be heard. Her mouth dropped open, displaying shining, straight white teeth. "Lil!" She gaped.
Lili grinned weakly, and with just a touch of sarcasm. "Hey 'Dain. Go tell Mom she's playing host for a few days, okay? And in the meantime, give me back all my CDs." The girl Lili had called Dain pouted, disappeared behind the door for a moment, then reappeared with a CD book in her hand. Lili took it without a word, and staggered back to her room. The girl slipped out of the door and ran down the steps, pounding like an elephant. "MOM!" She bellowed. "Hey, MOM! Lili's home! I think she and her friends got suspended again!"
Harry raised an eyebrow, the only movement he had made since his arrival at Lucky's Lair. "Again?"
Lili grimaced. "Don't ask. Now, you have had your first sight of the Evil Demon Child, also known as Dana. You have been warned." She collapsed on top of Draco, who was still sprawled in the inflatable chair. Despite their fight, he didn't seem to mind too much. In fact, when she leaned her head against him, he almost had feeling on his face. Harry felt jealousy flare up in him, and caught himself wishing he had sat down in the chair.
At that moment, Dana reared her model-esque head. "Hey, Lili. Better get off Mr. Hottie's lap before Dad comes in and sees you. He'll rip his arms off. Remember what happened to Benny." Draco smirked at being referred to as "Mr. Hottie."
"Get off it, 'Dain." Lili yawned. "Benny got out of the hospital. Eventually. And I wasn't the one who had Benny's tongue examining her tonsils." Dana turned bright red and pulled her head out of the doorway. Lili laughed and threw a Beanie Baby at the door, knocking it closed.
The effects of the Floo travel were wearing off by now, and Harry was able to look up and inspect his surroundings. Lili's room was... unique. It was painted a pale green, and had white trim and latticework nailed to the walls in the corners. Up and down this latticework there was ivy growing. Real ivy. The floor was polished wood, with a green oval carpet in the middle of the room. The chair Lili and Draco were sitting in was almost behind the door, next to several shelves of books, right across from a desk with a computer and many potted plants sitting on it. In fact, there were potted plants just about everywhere. In the corner by the closet, on top of the dresser, on the bed headboard, writhing around the windowsills. Hell, there were plants growing up the sides of the walls.
Lili stood up and walked to the door. After a few moments of rest, her natural, catlike grace had returned to her. She eyed the others, who were just beginning to sit up, holding their heads and stomachs. "Well, come on! You guys have to meet my parents. They don't house anyone they don't know. Not after that time I brought home that hobo for the night." As she walked out the door, the original Musketeers gave each other the Look. Obviously, there was a new, very Weasley twins-ish side of Lili they were just meeting. Draco just smirked. Interesting.
They followed Lili down the stairs and into the kitchen. She sat down at the kitchen table across from a woman who greatly resembled Dana. "Hey Mom. What's up?"
"Nothing much, Liliana. Why are you home?"
"Um, can't really explain that," Lili replied, grimacing at her mother's use of her full name. "But don't worry. I didn't get suspended again. Or expelled," she added as an afterthought. "And I'm not cutting."
"I didn't say you were, dear. Who are these? I'm sorry, but no more hobos, honey."
"Oh, they're not hobos, these are my friends from Hogwarts. Like me, they have a perfectly legitimate reason for being here. We just can't say. Mom, these are Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Draco. No, I'm not currently dating any of them, so please try to keep Dad from putting my friends in the hospital."
"All right, Liliana. Are you five going to be staying long?"
"Is a few nights okay, Mom?"
"Sure, dear. Hermione can stay in your room, and the boys can have the guest room. Curfew is eleven-thirty."
"Two."
"Midnight."
"One-thirty."
"Twelve-thirty."
"One."
"Deal." Mrs. Grey took a sip of her coffee, and noticed her four guests staring at her relaxed manner. "Oh, I'm sorry, children. My name is Carmen Grey. Please, call me Carmen. My husband is Brian, he should be home in oh, about a half-hour. Make yourselves at home. And oh, lasagna for dinner tonight, Liliana. Boys, when Liliana's father gets home, be polite, and try to make a good impression, okay? We don't want another Benny-type incident."
Harry, Ron and Draco were beginning to be a bit nervous. What exactly had happened to Benny?
"Thanks, Mom. Call me down when Dad gets home, okay?"
"Will do, pumpkin."
The five teenagers trooped upstairs. Dana was waiting for them, leaning against the wall outside of Lili's room. "So, Lili, which one of these three guys are you screwing around with this time? Five bucks says the blonde one. Actually, no. Five bucks on Bed-Head. You always went for the second best, didn't you? Probably because I always got the best." She batted her eyes at Draco, who looked amused. Harry looked disgusted at being declared second-best to Draco. Lili looked infuriated.
"I am not 'screwing around' with anyone! Just because you are a little slut doesn't mean I am!"
Dana was unmoved. "Ooh, harsh one, sis. I'm really hurting. I'm really not a slut. No one dares to go past second base with me anymore. 'Cause of Dad. Pity, really. When you can get it, go ahead, right? Oh, I'm sorry," she said, faking sympathy. "You can't get it. I've still got the looks in this family, and the brains, too. You just get the freak gene."
As Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Draco looked over the two sisters, they saw that Dana's words had a grain of truth in them. Lili was definitly pretty in her own right. She was tall, slender, with silky hair, and she moved with a catlike grace. But her sister was drop-dead gorgeous.
Dana's hair was a straight, silky black, falling to her mid-back. She was wearing it out at the moment, fine, unmarred, neat and tidy. Her nose could only be described as 'button,' her eyebrows were perfectly tweezed, her cherry-red lipstick contrasted perfectly against her ivory-white skin. Hey eyes were almost black, decorated with sparkling eyeshadow, and her nails were done in neon pink, with little flamingo decals. She was wearing a sequined red halter top and a black miniskirt, with silver platform sandals. It was a definite contrast to Lili's messy braid and beat up camoflauge pants, with the ratty gray tank top on top and the sword strapped to her back. But Lili's comment about Dana being a slut was not too far off the mark.
Lili's face was hard. "Freak gene. Right. Whatever. Go away, try to find some friends who won't stab you in the back." She sauntered into her room, ignoring her sister and pulling the Earth Sword off her back. Her friends followed her. Ron and Hermione resumed their previous positions on the bed, and Harry flopped down in the chair Draco had been sitting in before. Lili sat down heavily on top of him, earning Harry a glare from Draco.
"Oof!" Harry had thought such a thin girl would be a good deal lighter that this.
"Hey," Lili teased. "If you're going to sit in my chair, you have to accept the consequences." Hermione looked at the two as if she was holding back an "aww." Draco rolled his eyes, hiding what was more than a hint of jealousy.
"So, Ron," Lili began. "What does that tattoo on Bill's ass say?"
Ron grinned. "Well, I really shouldn't tell you this, but..."
Draco vaguely heard Ron's answer to Lili's question, and the roar of laughter that followed it. He was studying Lili. And the arm that Harry was gradually slipping around her waist. As Harry's hand settled itself somewhere around Lili's navel, Draco felt a wave of jealousy. He noticed the conversation had slowed down, and took his opportunity.
"Hey, Potter, you know those Chudley Cannons suck, right? I mean, the brooms alone could play better than their riders." Harry had adopted Ron's favorite Quidditch team, and both Ron and Harry immediately stood up, spilling two very annoyed teenage girls on the floor.
"Oh, yeah, and which team do you say is good? Because gods know if Draco Malfoy supports them, they simply must be the best one there is." Harry's tone was mocking, and Draco sneered right back at him.
"I've always favored the Appleby Arrows," Draco said loftily. Harry and Ron's faces turned red. Lili and Hermione looked at each other, and nodded, deciding some quick damage control was in order. Hermione grabbed Ron's arm and spoke softly and calmly to him (this technique seemed to work very well, the redness in Ron's face disappeared almost immediately). Lili stepped in between Harry and Draco, who looked ready to lunge at each other's throats.
"I like the Arrows, myself. The Cannons are awesome, too, though. My two favorite teams. I'd like to see a game of them against each other." Harry and Draco looked at Lili as though she had suddenly grown an extra head. Then Harry laughed. Draco's cold expression lifted into a smirk, and Lili grinned with relief.
Draco stalked across the room and thumped down in the inflatable chair, enjoying Harry's look of rage and jealousy as Lili sat down on his lap. Harry was forced to sit in the desk chair, and watch with outrage as the scene Draco had witnessed played out before him again, except Draco was now the one whose lap Lili was sitting in.
Lili and Hermione were discussing something or other when Carmen's voice drifted up the stairway. "Dana! Liliana! Your father's home! Liliana, bring your friends down with you!"
Lili stood up from Draco's lap and opened the door. Directly outside stood Dana, counting down out loud. "Five... four... three... two... one... now!"
A booming voice echoed from the front hall. "Hey! Where are my little girls? No hello for your father?"
Dana's face took on an innocent expression, and she thumped down the stairs. "Daddy!" She squealed, as her father picked her up and spun her around. Lili behaved with a little more dignity, stepping down the stairs before hugging her father.
Brian Grey was a huge man. The three boys took one look at him and instantly decided that whatever happened to Benny, it was not a good thing. If Lili hadn't told them she was Muggle-born, they might have though he was part giant. He must have been almost seven feet tall, and two feet of pure muscle wide. His hair was the golden-brown color of Lili's, except his was curly, while hers was straight. He had a huge beard. It was an interesting thing to see this huge, muscular, ruddy-complexioned man be greeted by his petite, fair-skinned and dark-haired wife. Her head barely reached the top of his shoulder.
Mr. Grey looked at his oldest daughter, who, at 5'7, was the only one who came anywhere near his height. "Lili! What are you doing home from England? Did you get suspended again?" He asked suspiciously.
"No, Dad, I didn't. The Headmaster sent me and my friends on a little errand, that calls for some business up in the Great Lakes. Perfectly legit."
"All right then. Well, are you going to introduce me to your friends?"
"Oh! I'm sorry, Dad. This is Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Draco. No, I'm not dating any of them, we're just friends." She added the last part a bit hurriedly after seeing her father's gaze rest suspiciously on each boy in turn. His face lightened.
"Well, that's all right then. Now, boys, you listen to me. If any of you decide to start dating my daughter, you do not push her farther than she wants to go, namely, farther than kissing, and if you hurt her in any way, I will personally break every bone in your body." He said all this in a perfectly cheerful tone. Harry and Draco both gulped and took a step backwards. Ron looked at his best friend as though he was trying very hard not to laugh. Hermione looked with sympathy at Lili, who was holding her head in her hands and moaning.
Harry and Draco were saved from further intimidation, and Lili from further embarrassment, by Carmen's shout of "dinner!" Dana and Mr. Grey stampeded towards the kitchen, and all five teenagers felt very glad they were not standing in the doorway.
As they entered the kitchen, they saw that four more chairs had been added to the large table in the middle of the room. There was a slight scuffle over seating arrangements, until finally Mr. and Mrs. Grey were sitting next to each other, with Dana next to Mrs. Grey. On Dana's other side was Draco, who seemed as though he didn't know whether to be annoyed or pleased that he was sitting between both Grey sisters, as Lili was on his other side. Next to Lili was Harry, and next to Harry was Ron. Hermione had the honor of sitting next to Mr. Grey, who appeared charmed by her talk of Hogwarts castle.
Dinner passed uneventfully. The four guests were amazed at Lili's relationship with her parents, if any of them had shown up suddenly in the middle of the school year, they would have expected much more than a "welcome home" from their families. Not that they were complaining...
When dinner was over, Carmen ushered her four guests upstairs, and immediately began making up the guest room for the boys. It was amazing how Muggles could do things so quickly without magic, thought Ron idly. It took Carmen no less than fifteen minutes to clean the entire room, put new sheets on the bed, vacuum, and pull out and assemble two cots from seemingly nowhere.
There wasn't too much to do for the rest of the evening. Lili taught Ron and Draco how to play Monopoly, but the game ended when all five got into an argument about Lili's "interest-free bank loans" to herself. After this, Lili sent all the boys away, telling them "go on, beat it. Y'all need your beauty sleep, don't deny it."
It was a boring night for the boys. After a short, but furious round of odds and evens, it was decided that Draco got the bed, and Harry and Ron would have to make do with the cots. Ron and Harry whispered back and forth to each other, occasionally throwing glances at Draco, who didn't seem to care. Finally, Harry addressed himself to Draco.
"Hey, Malfoy."
"What do you want, Potter?" Draco asked tiredly.
"We're going to go eavesdrop on the girls. We could use another set of ears," Ron offered.
"Why in hell would you want to eavesdrop on them?"
Ron stared at Draco in amazement. "Don't you know what girls talk about with their friends?"
"Typical girls? Or Earth and Granger?"
Ron looked a bit abashed. "Well, typical girls. Usually talk about their crushes and all. But I dunno about Lili and Hermione." He looked thoughtfull, then added "Oh well, it's worth a shot, right? They have to be average sometime."
"Let's go."
The three boys snuck out of their room and moved, realtively quietly, towards the doorway to Lucky's Lair. From inside, they heard the sound of laughing. They leaned closer to the door to try and hear better.
"What's up?" A quiet, sarcastic voice from behind made them all jump. Ron banged his head on the doorjamb and cursed softly. They turned, and Dana stood behind them, an amused smirk on her face, swinging a purple walkie-talkie around on a perfectly manicured finger.
"Eavesdropping, I see. Well, it will be awfully hard to do that through the door, and even harder if I tell them you're here. I have a deal to offer you. The other one of these walkie-talkies is hidden in Lili's room, I planted it there earlier. I'll give it to you and leave quietly. For a price."
Harry eyed her suspiciously. "And that price is?"
Dana smirked her strange smirk again. "Glad you asked. I want a kiss from Blondie over there. On the mouth. A good one. If I'm not fully satisfied, Lili gets a little news report."
Harry and Ron looked at Draco, who smirked and shrugged. "Fine. I'll blow her pre-teen mind." He took a step forward and kissed Dana, his back to the other two. When he stepped back, her perfect red lipstick was slightly smeared, and she had a dazed look on her eyes. Without a word, she handed them the walkie-talkie and went into her room. Harry turned on the walkie-talkie, and they instantly heard the voices of Lili and Hermione.
"So, basically- wait a minute. Did you hear something?" There was silence for a moment, and Draco was afraid they had been found out. But then the girls resumed their conversation.
"So, which of them d'you think has the best butt?" The three boys almost fell over hearing Lili's voice say this. She was usually practical and serious, it was a bit like seeing Professor McGonagall drunk.
"Oh, I hate to say this, but it's definitely Malfoy," Hermione giggled. Harry and Ron looked at each other in shock, and Draco preened.
"You know, I think you're right. He does have a great ass." Harry hit his head on the doorframe in shock, and Draco turned a bit to see the piece of his anatomy that was being so highly praised. But Lili continued. "But, y'know that time when we were staying at Bill's, and I slept in the living room on the chairs?"
"Yeah?" **Oh no,** thought Draco grimly. **Here it comes.**
"Well, Draco was in there too, and once he fell asleep, he was positively adorable! He was hugging this pillow and calling it 'Bobo.'
Draco winced. Not even his roomates knew about Bobo the teddy bear. Harry and Ron snickered. "Bobo?" Ron laughed.
"Oh, that's so cute! It's a little like Ron," the mentioned boy froze. "I've seen him when he's asleep, sometimes he dreams about Quidditch, and you can see him thrashing around in his bed, and every so often he'll yell, 'we've won!'" Ron winced. "And Harry! One time, he started sleepwalking and he must have tripped over Ron, who was in a sleeping bag on the bedroom floor. He landed right on top of him and didn't even wake up. I was in Ginny's room, and I couldn't sleep, and I heard Ron cursing, so I ran up the stairs to see what was going on. So I get up there and I see Ron tangled up in his sleeping bag, trying to get out, with Harry asleep on top of him." Harry moaned and covered his face with his hands.
"Is there something you're not telling us, Potter?" Draco smirked. His laughing was cut short when he heard Lili began talking again.
"Oh, that's nothing to what I heard about Draco!" The boy in question paled. "Okay, you know those two guys he hangs around with?"
"Crabbe and Goyle?"
"Dumb and Ugly?"
"That's them."
"They're so easily bribed, by the way. Well, they said that he talks in his sleep, and-"
"I don't!" Draco whispered fircely.
"Sshhh!!!" The other two chorused.
"-they said a few nights in a row, they heard him yelling 'Potter! Harry! Oh, Harry!' over and over." Two boys were bright red and pretending to throw up, and one was laughing hysterically.
"That is not true!" Draco almost yelled. The other two clapped hands over his mouth, but the girls didn't seem to hear him.
"Oh, I don't even need to bribe people to get blackmail material on Ron. I'm friends with his only sister."
"Oh, shit, I forgot about that," whispered Ron, going white. "Ginny, dammit! Do family ties mean nothing to you?"
"When compared to gossip material, no." Draco whispered back.
"Well, I doubt you knew this, but Ron collects a certain- garment." What little color was left in Ron's face drained out. Even his hair seemed to be going white.
"Oh no," he croaked. "Ginny- you didn't-"
"Ooh, ooh, tell! What does he collect? Pantyhose? Bras?"
"Not quite. He collects underwear- but not the type used by men." Outside the door, all eyes turned to the tall redhead, who looked like he was doing his best to learn to apparate on the spot.
"You're joking!" Lili shrieked inside. "He collects LINGERIE?"
"I never said that- in so many words." The shrieking sound of laughter could be heard through the door. The sound of embarrassment, if there were such a thing, would have drowned it out entirely.
"Oh, but you wouldn't believe what Harry's favorite song is, either."
"Ha!" Harry sat back on his heels outside the door. "She doesn't know what my favorite song is. Does she?"
"What? What song?" They heard Lili say.
"Apparently, Potter, she does." Draco smirked at the black-haired boy.
"YMCA."
"YMCA?"
"YMCA."
"By the Village People?"
"By the Village People. I caught him dancing around to it once. Arm movements and everything."
"Well, there goes any slight bit of reputation I may have had, ever," Harry muttered. "Thanks, Hermione."
And then all three boys looked up like a bunch of deer in headlights, into the smirking faces of Lili Grey and Hermione Granger.
Lili tossed the other walkie-talkie to Draco. "Here. Tell Dana to get a set that doesn't make noise when it turns on. And your plan would probably have worked a bit better if you didn't sound like a giant herd of wildebeest thumping down the hall. If you ever do this again, I will personally see to it that the chances of any of you fathering children are nonexistent. I will call in my father." The boys paled.
"Hey Lili, what exactly does your father do?" Hermione asked suddenly.
She looked thoughtful. "I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure it has some mob connections. How else could that happen to Benny?" She turned back to the boys. "Now, get yer asses back to your room. And give Dana back her walkie-talkies." She closed the door, and the three defeated boys trooped back to their room and climbed into bed.
They were all silent for awhile, until Ron spoke what was on all their minds.
"D'you think they meant what they said about Malfoy having the best butt?"
(A/N) Okay, just to let you know, Lili's family is an exaggerated version of my own. My mother rarely gets upset about anything. I got two F's on my report card once, and she told me it was okay. My father is slightly like Brian Grey, in the area of guys, anyway. No, the 'Benny Incident' never happened in my house. Dana is based on my sister and how I see her acting in three years. Dana is smarter than my sister, though, blackmail is much to complicated for my sis. Yes, Lucky Charms is my nickname, I thought I'd lend it to Lili. I stole the idea for the eavesdropping scene from another fanfic I read, I forget what it was called. Mine is worse, though. Okay, for the reviewers:
Rogue 15: Thanks for the advice, I'm trying to put a little more romance into the story. How am I doing so far?
Ady: I'm glad I surprised you about Draco, I didn't really expect him to show up in this, besides for the scene when Lili first arrives at Hogwarts and meets the Three Musketeers. Bill's tattoo is pretty funny if you know what it is (which you don't, it's my little secret). If you're asking to borrow my characters for a fic or to draw them, go ahead, but you might want to wait until the end. I can't say any more without giving it away! Now, I need to ask you a favor: I am in desperate need of a beta reader, d'you mind giving me a hand? Give me an email, it's in my profile.
CrystalStarGuardian: Thanks for the compliment and the advice, but I'm almost positive a Mary Sue is simply a new character who is, in the words of Mary Poppins "practically perfect in every way." A new character doesn't have to be a Mary Sue.
herm: More is coming! Thanks for the good wishes.
Freda Potter: What, d'you think I'm going to stop?
Thanks for all the reviews everybody, not that I'm saying I have enough! I'll see you all in three weeks! Peace out everybody, and be excellent to each other!
-Moon Warrior
ANTI-DISCLAIMER: If you believed the disclaimer, you are in need of some serious help.
CLAIMER: I own Lili, and Lucky's Lair. That's it.
(A/N) This chapter is GOING TO HAVE SOME ROMANCE! :::Therapist:: Okay, say your mantra, M.W.
:::Moon Warrior::: I can write romance, I can write romance, I can write romance, I can write romance.....
CHAPTER ELEVEN: LUCKY'S LAIR
It seemed incredible how many ways people could insult each other, Harry mused idly, watching Lili and Draco argue vehemently over which was the best way to get to America. Draco was all for flying over, but Lili found problems with this.
"What the hell do you propose to do about food, water, and bathroom stuff? It'll take a friggin' MONTH to cross the ocean! So, you're just going to drink salt water and crap while flying, like a damn pigeon? Go ahead, I'll see you in the zoo."
"Oh, well, you think you're a goddamn genius, don't you? You've put down all my ideas so far, why don't you try giving out one of your own? Might be a nice change of pace. And there is no goddamn way I am paying for Muggle plane tickets for all of you. If there's no other way, though, I might have to pay for Weasley. Gods know his family couldn't pay for the free peanuts." Draco sneered at Ron. Hermione had wrapped her arm around his neck to keep him from attacking Draco and was whispering soothingly in his ear.
Lili ignored Draco's comment about Ron. "As if I'd do anything where I owed you a favor," she said scathingly. "No, we can use Floo powder to travel to my home in New York, and go to Lake Superior from there. Only problem is, you'd all have to put up with my sister, the Evil One. Once you've shared a house with her, Voldemort will make you laugh."
"And where the hell are we supposed to get Floo powder? I'm sorry, but I forgot to bring it when I was packing up for my life-threatening mission," Draco commented sarcastically.
"Ahem," Hermione said loudly. "Sorry to burst your bubble, Malfoy, but unlike you, I happen to be prepared for anything. I have some Floo powder."
Draco, having no response for this, simply rolled his eyes. Hermione slung her knapsack off her back and began rummaging around in it while Ron conjured up a large fire. It got a little out of control, and Harry ended up with a singe on his robe, but in the end, nothing was damaged (permenantly).
"Okay, so when you step into the fire, shout "Lucky's Lair," and keep your head down, I've got some stuff hanging down over the edge of the fireplace. And be careful not to get soot on the carpet, my Mom'll kill me, and then I'll have to vacuum. Housework. Right up there with teenyboppers."
The other four looked at her skeptically. "Why 'Lucky's Lair?'" Ron voiced what all four were thinking.
Lili, amazingly, turned a bright shade of red. "Well, it's kind of embarrasing, but... well, I haven't really been showing it, but I'm a really hyper person, when I feel like it. One day in my fourth year, I started singing the Lucky Charms song repeatedly to annoy this girl in my Potions class. Lucky Charms is a Muggle cereal," she added to a confused Draco and Ron. "So then Cassa and the rest of my friends started calling me Lucky Charms. It kind of stuck, and there was this one commercial where Lucky the Leprechaun was looking for a place to hide from the freaky kids trying to steal his big bowl o' sugar. I decided that my bedroom was where he was hiding from the little animated freaks, and so I named my room Lucky's Lair."
They all looked at her. "You really like this cereal, don't you?" Hermione remarked.
"Actually, no. I just like the song and the name. Plus I was on a sugar high." She looked around at all of them. "So, are we going or not? Get yer asses moving!" And she threw a handful of Floo in the fire. Draco took a step into the fire, shouting, "Lucky's Lair!" Hermione was next, and then Ron, who barely managed to say it clearly, he was trying not to laugh.
As the green hue of the fire began to fade, Lili looked at Harry in panic. "We have to go together, now, or else we'll be stuck. There's not enough Floo for another trip." Lili set up two charms Harry didn't recognize, and then shouted "Lucky's Lair!" While pulling Harry into the now almost-orange flames. They felt a searing heat for a second, as the Floo powder wore off completely, and then, thankfully, the familiar sensation of moving swiftly through the Floo network. They stepped out into what must have been Lili's room, and Harry felt a pang of dissapointment as she let go of his hand, which she had been holding onto firmly throughout the Floo trip.
She flopped down on the floor, as the bed was already under the weight of Ron and Hermione, and Draco occupied the large spring green inflatable chair. Harry collapsed on top of her as he felt the trip catch up with him.
"I think I left my stomach back in Asia," she moaned. "You think they got a UPS that can deliver it here?"
Draco stood up unsteadily, one hand on his stomach, the other in front of his mouth. "Where's the bathroom?" He managed to choke out.
"Down the hall, first door on the left," Lili mumbled. Draco manuvered his way across the room and raced down the hall. A few seconds later, they all heard the sound of retching.
"Sounds like Malfoy has a weak stomach," Ron commented sickly.
"Eurgh, don't talk," Hermione moaned. "Your head is on my stomach, it's making me sick."
"Weasely's head would make anyone sick," said Draco from his place leaning against the doorjamb. His face was paler than usual, and his voice was ragged. Hermione rolled her eyes. Ron didn't even bother to look at Draco.
Lili shoved Harry off her legs and staggered over to the door. She went across the hall and knocked on a door painted blue. A girl of about thirteen with shining, straight dark hair and the obvious ability for a career in modeling opened it, and the screams of horrible pop music could be heard. Her mouth dropped open, displaying shining, straight white teeth. "Lil!" She gaped.
Lili grinned weakly, and with just a touch of sarcasm. "Hey 'Dain. Go tell Mom she's playing host for a few days, okay? And in the meantime, give me back all my CDs." The girl Lili had called Dain pouted, disappeared behind the door for a moment, then reappeared with a CD book in her hand. Lili took it without a word, and staggered back to her room. The girl slipped out of the door and ran down the steps, pounding like an elephant. "MOM!" She bellowed. "Hey, MOM! Lili's home! I think she and her friends got suspended again!"
Harry raised an eyebrow, the only movement he had made since his arrival at Lucky's Lair. "Again?"
Lili grimaced. "Don't ask. Now, you have had your first sight of the Evil Demon Child, also known as Dana. You have been warned." She collapsed on top of Draco, who was still sprawled in the inflatable chair. Despite their fight, he didn't seem to mind too much. In fact, when she leaned her head against him, he almost had feeling on his face. Harry felt jealousy flare up in him, and caught himself wishing he had sat down in the chair.
At that moment, Dana reared her model-esque head. "Hey, Lili. Better get off Mr. Hottie's lap before Dad comes in and sees you. He'll rip his arms off. Remember what happened to Benny." Draco smirked at being referred to as "Mr. Hottie."
"Get off it, 'Dain." Lili yawned. "Benny got out of the hospital. Eventually. And I wasn't the one who had Benny's tongue examining her tonsils." Dana turned bright red and pulled her head out of the doorway. Lili laughed and threw a Beanie Baby at the door, knocking it closed.
The effects of the Floo travel were wearing off by now, and Harry was able to look up and inspect his surroundings. Lili's room was... unique. It was painted a pale green, and had white trim and latticework nailed to the walls in the corners. Up and down this latticework there was ivy growing. Real ivy. The floor was polished wood, with a green oval carpet in the middle of the room. The chair Lili and Draco were sitting in was almost behind the door, next to several shelves of books, right across from a desk with a computer and many potted plants sitting on it. In fact, there were potted plants just about everywhere. In the corner by the closet, on top of the dresser, on the bed headboard, writhing around the windowsills. Hell, there were plants growing up the sides of the walls.
Lili stood up and walked to the door. After a few moments of rest, her natural, catlike grace had returned to her. She eyed the others, who were just beginning to sit up, holding their heads and stomachs. "Well, come on! You guys have to meet my parents. They don't house anyone they don't know. Not after that time I brought home that hobo for the night." As she walked out the door, the original Musketeers gave each other the Look. Obviously, there was a new, very Weasley twins-ish side of Lili they were just meeting. Draco just smirked. Interesting.
They followed Lili down the stairs and into the kitchen. She sat down at the kitchen table across from a woman who greatly resembled Dana. "Hey Mom. What's up?"
"Nothing much, Liliana. Why are you home?"
"Um, can't really explain that," Lili replied, grimacing at her mother's use of her full name. "But don't worry. I didn't get suspended again. Or expelled," she added as an afterthought. "And I'm not cutting."
"I didn't say you were, dear. Who are these? I'm sorry, but no more hobos, honey."
"Oh, they're not hobos, these are my friends from Hogwarts. Like me, they have a perfectly legitimate reason for being here. We just can't say. Mom, these are Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Draco. No, I'm not currently dating any of them, so please try to keep Dad from putting my friends in the hospital."
"All right, Liliana. Are you five going to be staying long?"
"Is a few nights okay, Mom?"
"Sure, dear. Hermione can stay in your room, and the boys can have the guest room. Curfew is eleven-thirty."
"Two."
"Midnight."
"One-thirty."
"Twelve-thirty."
"One."
"Deal." Mrs. Grey took a sip of her coffee, and noticed her four guests staring at her relaxed manner. "Oh, I'm sorry, children. My name is Carmen Grey. Please, call me Carmen. My husband is Brian, he should be home in oh, about a half-hour. Make yourselves at home. And oh, lasagna for dinner tonight, Liliana. Boys, when Liliana's father gets home, be polite, and try to make a good impression, okay? We don't want another Benny-type incident."
Harry, Ron and Draco were beginning to be a bit nervous. What exactly had happened to Benny?
"Thanks, Mom. Call me down when Dad gets home, okay?"
"Will do, pumpkin."
The five teenagers trooped upstairs. Dana was waiting for them, leaning against the wall outside of Lili's room. "So, Lili, which one of these three guys are you screwing around with this time? Five bucks says the blonde one. Actually, no. Five bucks on Bed-Head. You always went for the second best, didn't you? Probably because I always got the best." She batted her eyes at Draco, who looked amused. Harry looked disgusted at being declared second-best to Draco. Lili looked infuriated.
"I am not 'screwing around' with anyone! Just because you are a little slut doesn't mean I am!"
Dana was unmoved. "Ooh, harsh one, sis. I'm really hurting. I'm really not a slut. No one dares to go past second base with me anymore. 'Cause of Dad. Pity, really. When you can get it, go ahead, right? Oh, I'm sorry," she said, faking sympathy. "You can't get it. I've still got the looks in this family, and the brains, too. You just get the freak gene."
As Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Draco looked over the two sisters, they saw that Dana's words had a grain of truth in them. Lili was definitly pretty in her own right. She was tall, slender, with silky hair, and she moved with a catlike grace. But her sister was drop-dead gorgeous.
Dana's hair was a straight, silky black, falling to her mid-back. She was wearing it out at the moment, fine, unmarred, neat and tidy. Her nose could only be described as 'button,' her eyebrows were perfectly tweezed, her cherry-red lipstick contrasted perfectly against her ivory-white skin. Hey eyes were almost black, decorated with sparkling eyeshadow, and her nails were done in neon pink, with little flamingo decals. She was wearing a sequined red halter top and a black miniskirt, with silver platform sandals. It was a definite contrast to Lili's messy braid and beat up camoflauge pants, with the ratty gray tank top on top and the sword strapped to her back. But Lili's comment about Dana being a slut was not too far off the mark.
Lili's face was hard. "Freak gene. Right. Whatever. Go away, try to find some friends who won't stab you in the back." She sauntered into her room, ignoring her sister and pulling the Earth Sword off her back. Her friends followed her. Ron and Hermione resumed their previous positions on the bed, and Harry flopped down in the chair Draco had been sitting in before. Lili sat down heavily on top of him, earning Harry a glare from Draco.
"Oof!" Harry had thought such a thin girl would be a good deal lighter that this.
"Hey," Lili teased. "If you're going to sit in my chair, you have to accept the consequences." Hermione looked at the two as if she was holding back an "aww." Draco rolled his eyes, hiding what was more than a hint of jealousy.
"So, Ron," Lili began. "What does that tattoo on Bill's ass say?"
Ron grinned. "Well, I really shouldn't tell you this, but..."
Draco vaguely heard Ron's answer to Lili's question, and the roar of laughter that followed it. He was studying Lili. And the arm that Harry was gradually slipping around her waist. As Harry's hand settled itself somewhere around Lili's navel, Draco felt a wave of jealousy. He noticed the conversation had slowed down, and took his opportunity.
"Hey, Potter, you know those Chudley Cannons suck, right? I mean, the brooms alone could play better than their riders." Harry had adopted Ron's favorite Quidditch team, and both Ron and Harry immediately stood up, spilling two very annoyed teenage girls on the floor.
"Oh, yeah, and which team do you say is good? Because gods know if Draco Malfoy supports them, they simply must be the best one there is." Harry's tone was mocking, and Draco sneered right back at him.
"I've always favored the Appleby Arrows," Draco said loftily. Harry and Ron's faces turned red. Lili and Hermione looked at each other, and nodded, deciding some quick damage control was in order. Hermione grabbed Ron's arm and spoke softly and calmly to him (this technique seemed to work very well, the redness in Ron's face disappeared almost immediately). Lili stepped in between Harry and Draco, who looked ready to lunge at each other's throats.
"I like the Arrows, myself. The Cannons are awesome, too, though. My two favorite teams. I'd like to see a game of them against each other." Harry and Draco looked at Lili as though she had suddenly grown an extra head. Then Harry laughed. Draco's cold expression lifted into a smirk, and Lili grinned with relief.
Draco stalked across the room and thumped down in the inflatable chair, enjoying Harry's look of rage and jealousy as Lili sat down on his lap. Harry was forced to sit in the desk chair, and watch with outrage as the scene Draco had witnessed played out before him again, except Draco was now the one whose lap Lili was sitting in.
Lili and Hermione were discussing something or other when Carmen's voice drifted up the stairway. "Dana! Liliana! Your father's home! Liliana, bring your friends down with you!"
Lili stood up from Draco's lap and opened the door. Directly outside stood Dana, counting down out loud. "Five... four... three... two... one... now!"
A booming voice echoed from the front hall. "Hey! Where are my little girls? No hello for your father?"
Dana's face took on an innocent expression, and she thumped down the stairs. "Daddy!" She squealed, as her father picked her up and spun her around. Lili behaved with a little more dignity, stepping down the stairs before hugging her father.
Brian Grey was a huge man. The three boys took one look at him and instantly decided that whatever happened to Benny, it was not a good thing. If Lili hadn't told them she was Muggle-born, they might have though he was part giant. He must have been almost seven feet tall, and two feet of pure muscle wide. His hair was the golden-brown color of Lili's, except his was curly, while hers was straight. He had a huge beard. It was an interesting thing to see this huge, muscular, ruddy-complexioned man be greeted by his petite, fair-skinned and dark-haired wife. Her head barely reached the top of his shoulder.
Mr. Grey looked at his oldest daughter, who, at 5'7, was the only one who came anywhere near his height. "Lili! What are you doing home from England? Did you get suspended again?" He asked suspiciously.
"No, Dad, I didn't. The Headmaster sent me and my friends on a little errand, that calls for some business up in the Great Lakes. Perfectly legit."
"All right then. Well, are you going to introduce me to your friends?"
"Oh! I'm sorry, Dad. This is Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Draco. No, I'm not dating any of them, we're just friends." She added the last part a bit hurriedly after seeing her father's gaze rest suspiciously on each boy in turn. His face lightened.
"Well, that's all right then. Now, boys, you listen to me. If any of you decide to start dating my daughter, you do not push her farther than she wants to go, namely, farther than kissing, and if you hurt her in any way, I will personally break every bone in your body." He said all this in a perfectly cheerful tone. Harry and Draco both gulped and took a step backwards. Ron looked at his best friend as though he was trying very hard not to laugh. Hermione looked with sympathy at Lili, who was holding her head in her hands and moaning.
Harry and Draco were saved from further intimidation, and Lili from further embarrassment, by Carmen's shout of "dinner!" Dana and Mr. Grey stampeded towards the kitchen, and all five teenagers felt very glad they were not standing in the doorway.
As they entered the kitchen, they saw that four more chairs had been added to the large table in the middle of the room. There was a slight scuffle over seating arrangements, until finally Mr. and Mrs. Grey were sitting next to each other, with Dana next to Mrs. Grey. On Dana's other side was Draco, who seemed as though he didn't know whether to be annoyed or pleased that he was sitting between both Grey sisters, as Lili was on his other side. Next to Lili was Harry, and next to Harry was Ron. Hermione had the honor of sitting next to Mr. Grey, who appeared charmed by her talk of Hogwarts castle.
Dinner passed uneventfully. The four guests were amazed at Lili's relationship with her parents, if any of them had shown up suddenly in the middle of the school year, they would have expected much more than a "welcome home" from their families. Not that they were complaining...
When dinner was over, Carmen ushered her four guests upstairs, and immediately began making up the guest room for the boys. It was amazing how Muggles could do things so quickly without magic, thought Ron idly. It took Carmen no less than fifteen minutes to clean the entire room, put new sheets on the bed, vacuum, and pull out and assemble two cots from seemingly nowhere.
There wasn't too much to do for the rest of the evening. Lili taught Ron and Draco how to play Monopoly, but the game ended when all five got into an argument about Lili's "interest-free bank loans" to herself. After this, Lili sent all the boys away, telling them "go on, beat it. Y'all need your beauty sleep, don't deny it."
It was a boring night for the boys. After a short, but furious round of odds and evens, it was decided that Draco got the bed, and Harry and Ron would have to make do with the cots. Ron and Harry whispered back and forth to each other, occasionally throwing glances at Draco, who didn't seem to care. Finally, Harry addressed himself to Draco.
"Hey, Malfoy."
"What do you want, Potter?" Draco asked tiredly.
"We're going to go eavesdrop on the girls. We could use another set of ears," Ron offered.
"Why in hell would you want to eavesdrop on them?"
Ron stared at Draco in amazement. "Don't you know what girls talk about with their friends?"
"Typical girls? Or Earth and Granger?"
Ron looked a bit abashed. "Well, typical girls. Usually talk about their crushes and all. But I dunno about Lili and Hermione." He looked thoughtfull, then added "Oh well, it's worth a shot, right? They have to be average sometime."
"Let's go."
The three boys snuck out of their room and moved, realtively quietly, towards the doorway to Lucky's Lair. From inside, they heard the sound of laughing. They leaned closer to the door to try and hear better.
"What's up?" A quiet, sarcastic voice from behind made them all jump. Ron banged his head on the doorjamb and cursed softly. They turned, and Dana stood behind them, an amused smirk on her face, swinging a purple walkie-talkie around on a perfectly manicured finger.
"Eavesdropping, I see. Well, it will be awfully hard to do that through the door, and even harder if I tell them you're here. I have a deal to offer you. The other one of these walkie-talkies is hidden in Lili's room, I planted it there earlier. I'll give it to you and leave quietly. For a price."
Harry eyed her suspiciously. "And that price is?"
Dana smirked her strange smirk again. "Glad you asked. I want a kiss from Blondie over there. On the mouth. A good one. If I'm not fully satisfied, Lili gets a little news report."
Harry and Ron looked at Draco, who smirked and shrugged. "Fine. I'll blow her pre-teen mind." He took a step forward and kissed Dana, his back to the other two. When he stepped back, her perfect red lipstick was slightly smeared, and she had a dazed look on her eyes. Without a word, she handed them the walkie-talkie and went into her room. Harry turned on the walkie-talkie, and they instantly heard the voices of Lili and Hermione.
"So, basically- wait a minute. Did you hear something?" There was silence for a moment, and Draco was afraid they had been found out. But then the girls resumed their conversation.
"So, which of them d'you think has the best butt?" The three boys almost fell over hearing Lili's voice say this. She was usually practical and serious, it was a bit like seeing Professor McGonagall drunk.
"Oh, I hate to say this, but it's definitely Malfoy," Hermione giggled. Harry and Ron looked at each other in shock, and Draco preened.
"You know, I think you're right. He does have a great ass." Harry hit his head on the doorframe in shock, and Draco turned a bit to see the piece of his anatomy that was being so highly praised. But Lili continued. "But, y'know that time when we were staying at Bill's, and I slept in the living room on the chairs?"
"Yeah?" **Oh no,** thought Draco grimly. **Here it comes.**
"Well, Draco was in there too, and once he fell asleep, he was positively adorable! He was hugging this pillow and calling it 'Bobo.'
Draco winced. Not even his roomates knew about Bobo the teddy bear. Harry and Ron snickered. "Bobo?" Ron laughed.
"Oh, that's so cute! It's a little like Ron," the mentioned boy froze. "I've seen him when he's asleep, sometimes he dreams about Quidditch, and you can see him thrashing around in his bed, and every so often he'll yell, 'we've won!'" Ron winced. "And Harry! One time, he started sleepwalking and he must have tripped over Ron, who was in a sleeping bag on the bedroom floor. He landed right on top of him and didn't even wake up. I was in Ginny's room, and I couldn't sleep, and I heard Ron cursing, so I ran up the stairs to see what was going on. So I get up there and I see Ron tangled up in his sleeping bag, trying to get out, with Harry asleep on top of him." Harry moaned and covered his face with his hands.
"Is there something you're not telling us, Potter?" Draco smirked. His laughing was cut short when he heard Lili began talking again.
"Oh, that's nothing to what I heard about Draco!" The boy in question paled. "Okay, you know those two guys he hangs around with?"
"Crabbe and Goyle?"
"Dumb and Ugly?"
"That's them."
"They're so easily bribed, by the way. Well, they said that he talks in his sleep, and-"
"I don't!" Draco whispered fircely.
"Sshhh!!!" The other two chorused.
"-they said a few nights in a row, they heard him yelling 'Potter! Harry! Oh, Harry!' over and over." Two boys were bright red and pretending to throw up, and one was laughing hysterically.
"That is not true!" Draco almost yelled. The other two clapped hands over his mouth, but the girls didn't seem to hear him.
"Oh, I don't even need to bribe people to get blackmail material on Ron. I'm friends with his only sister."
"Oh, shit, I forgot about that," whispered Ron, going white. "Ginny, dammit! Do family ties mean nothing to you?"
"When compared to gossip material, no." Draco whispered back.
"Well, I doubt you knew this, but Ron collects a certain- garment." What little color was left in Ron's face drained out. Even his hair seemed to be going white.
"Oh no," he croaked. "Ginny- you didn't-"
"Ooh, ooh, tell! What does he collect? Pantyhose? Bras?"
"Not quite. He collects underwear- but not the type used by men." Outside the door, all eyes turned to the tall redhead, who looked like he was doing his best to learn to apparate on the spot.
"You're joking!" Lili shrieked inside. "He collects LINGERIE?"
"I never said that- in so many words." The shrieking sound of laughter could be heard through the door. The sound of embarrassment, if there were such a thing, would have drowned it out entirely.
"Oh, but you wouldn't believe what Harry's favorite song is, either."
"Ha!" Harry sat back on his heels outside the door. "She doesn't know what my favorite song is. Does she?"
"What? What song?" They heard Lili say.
"Apparently, Potter, she does." Draco smirked at the black-haired boy.
"YMCA."
"YMCA?"
"YMCA."
"By the Village People?"
"By the Village People. I caught him dancing around to it once. Arm movements and everything."
"Well, there goes any slight bit of reputation I may have had, ever," Harry muttered. "Thanks, Hermione."
And then all three boys looked up like a bunch of deer in headlights, into the smirking faces of Lili Grey and Hermione Granger.
Lili tossed the other walkie-talkie to Draco. "Here. Tell Dana to get a set that doesn't make noise when it turns on. And your plan would probably have worked a bit better if you didn't sound like a giant herd of wildebeest thumping down the hall. If you ever do this again, I will personally see to it that the chances of any of you fathering children are nonexistent. I will call in my father." The boys paled.
"Hey Lili, what exactly does your father do?" Hermione asked suddenly.
She looked thoughtful. "I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure it has some mob connections. How else could that happen to Benny?" She turned back to the boys. "Now, get yer asses back to your room. And give Dana back her walkie-talkies." She closed the door, and the three defeated boys trooped back to their room and climbed into bed.
They were all silent for awhile, until Ron spoke what was on all their minds.
"D'you think they meant what they said about Malfoy having the best butt?"
(A/N) Okay, just to let you know, Lili's family is an exaggerated version of my own. My mother rarely gets upset about anything. I got two F's on my report card once, and she told me it was okay. My father is slightly like Brian Grey, in the area of guys, anyway. No, the 'Benny Incident' never happened in my house. Dana is based on my sister and how I see her acting in three years. Dana is smarter than my sister, though, blackmail is much to complicated for my sis. Yes, Lucky Charms is my nickname, I thought I'd lend it to Lili. I stole the idea for the eavesdropping scene from another fanfic I read, I forget what it was called. Mine is worse, though. Okay, for the reviewers:
Rogue 15: Thanks for the advice, I'm trying to put a little more romance into the story. How am I doing so far?
Ady: I'm glad I surprised you about Draco, I didn't really expect him to show up in this, besides for the scene when Lili first arrives at Hogwarts and meets the Three Musketeers. Bill's tattoo is pretty funny if you know what it is (which you don't, it's my little secret). If you're asking to borrow my characters for a fic or to draw them, go ahead, but you might want to wait until the end. I can't say any more without giving it away! Now, I need to ask you a favor: I am in desperate need of a beta reader, d'you mind giving me a hand? Give me an email, it's in my profile.
CrystalStarGuardian: Thanks for the compliment and the advice, but I'm almost positive a Mary Sue is simply a new character who is, in the words of Mary Poppins "practically perfect in every way." A new character doesn't have to be a Mary Sue.
herm: More is coming! Thanks for the good wishes.
Freda Potter: What, d'you think I'm going to stop?
Thanks for all the reviews everybody, not that I'm saying I have enough! I'll see you all in three weeks! Peace out everybody, and be excellent to each other!
-Moon Warrior