Chapter 6
THE DIET COKE OF EVIL!
UM:Muwahahahahahahah! Hello and welcome back to SYSTEM DEATHMATCH!
Today is going to be extra special.
Knuckles:Why?
UM:The producers are going to give me*Woosh*ONE MILLION DOLLARS-.-
if I can make the theme of of the show like the match.
Knuckles:And what exactly is that supposed to be.
UM:A deathmatch of EEEEEEEVVVVIIIILLLL!
Knuckles:O_o
UM:So all the staff today has to act very evil, or we don't get the money.
Knuckles:I can do that. I used to be very evil in two of the sonic games.
UM:I wouldn't call that evil.
Knuckles:What would it be then?
UM:I'd call it mischevous.
Knuckles:No way, it is totally evil.
UM:Yeah right, but what are we going to do about tails.
Knuckles:What do you mean?
UM:He's not exactly the Dr. Evil of evil....I GOT IT! HEY TAILS.
Tails:Hey UM, what's up.
UM:I need you to do something for me.
Tails:Ooooohhhhhh what what what what?
UM:I need you to go to ICELAND.
Tails:Iceland?
Knuckles:Iceland?
Audience:Iceland?
UM:Yeah ICELAND.
Tails:Why?
UM:To uhhh....get me a new ice maker.
Knuckles:-_-(Tails can't be dumb enough to fall for that)
Tails:Okay
Knuckles:D'oh
UM:Bye tails.^_^
Knuckles:That was very wrong.
UM:I know. hee hee hee.
Knuckles:I guess we should get started then.
UM:Okay. Todays match is a very...EVIL match with the
diabolical demons of dementia.(Say that five times fast)
GANON VS. SEPHIROTH
Knuckles:Unfortunately you just sent away our interviewer.
Meanwhile in Iceland*
Tails:Where do people keep icemakers?
Maybe AAA would know.
UM:Don't worry I got some tapes of them earlier.
Knuckles:Let me guess...EVIL tapes?
UM:How'd you know. HA HA HA HA HA!!!
Sephiroths Tape-
Sephy:Be careful. I couldn't stand the job you did last time.
Stylist:Oh Puh-lease, it isn't my fault you get frizz every morning.
Sephy:HEY. What I do every night is none of your business...hey what
are doing with that camera. GET OUT YOU*BZZZZZZZZ*
Knuckles:Words can not describe how disturbed I feel now.
UM:You think that was bad, wait till you see Ganon.
Ganons' Tape-
UM:I am now in Ganons' dressing room for an interview.
Ganon:Whoops where'd that towel go.
UM:AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!*Runs Away*
Ganon:Hey! Can you go get someone to fix the toilet.
*
UM:Next time I'm going to need to knock first eh knuckles...
uuhhh knuckles.
Knuckles:*Scrubbing*O_O Still not clean...Still not pure...Still tainted.
UM:Now that we're done with that evil...if not disgusting footage. Let's
get ready for the fight.
ANNOUNCER:IN THIS CORNER, WEIGHING IN AT 150 POUNDS THE GENETIC PRODUCT
WITH THE HUGE SWORD...SEPHIROTH.
*Sephiroth shows his cool by floating onto the ring*
ANNOUNCER:AND IN THIS CORNER, WEIGHING IN AT 300 POUNDS THE TERROR
OF HYRULE...GANON.
*Ganon lumbers on the ring breaking the door in the process*
*DING DING DING*
UM:Sephiroth will be using his deviously popular EVIL sword Masamune.
Knuckles:I'm surprised you know that.
UM:Don't forget that i'm a huge fan of the FF series.
Knuckles:Even the movie.
UM:HEY! DON'T KNOCK THE MOVIE! Sure there were a few issues with it,
but the soul of FF was with it.*SOB*IT WASN'T THEIR FFFAAAAAAUUUUUUULLLLLLT!
Knuckles:Now that was evil heh heh heh.
UM:Hey you're right, good job.(You prick)Ganon of the N64 version will be
using some very HUGE AND EVIL BLADES.
Seph:Prepare to become my dinner.
Ganon:Here, have some of this instead.*Swipes at Seph.*
Seph:*Slash**Whoosh**Clang*I will not be beaten by a beast!
*Both end up in Gridlock*
UM:Feel free to play any suspenseful fight music with this one folks.
Seph:DIE!YAAAAAAHHHHHHH*Sword hits Ganon, but fails to penetrate*What the!
Ganon:HAH! IN THIS BODY MY ARMOR CANNOT BE PIERCED BY ANY SWORD!
Seph:Holy Crap!
Ganon:Cue ring of fire and lightning effects!
*Room goes dark and the ring catches fire*
Knuckles:Woah! Those are EVIL looking effects.
UM:*On phone*Uhh yes I was wondering if our insurance covers ring fires.
Seph:FIRE 3! BOLT 3! ICE 3!*All hitting Ganon with minimal effect*
Ganon:OOOOHHHHH Tingly. Now bleed!*Does some nasty sword stabs and swipes*
UM:Wow if only sephiroth knew Ganons weakness.
Knuckles:How can he not, it's pulsating in front of him.
UM:Uhhhh really?
Knuckles:His tail you gutterbrain.
UM:I knew that.
Seph:Wow that tail is beating rally hard.
Ganon:That's what happens when it gets to hot.
Seph:Let me remove it for you then.YAAHHH
Ganon:EEEPPP!*Swings around very fast*Nah Nah. You'll never
catch my tail.
UM:Man this is getting out of control.
Knuckles:In a few minutes there won't be a ring left to fight in.
Ganon:Uuuhhhh Sephiroth.
Seph:Shut up and fight.
Ganon:Your hair's on fire.
Seph:EEEEEPPPPPP.PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!
UM:How will Ganon react to the situation.
Ganon:*Begins to slice and dice sephiroth*There no more hair problems.
Announcer:GANON IS THE WINNER.
Producer:Mr. UM. You have done a good job in doing an evil show.
UM:Thank you sir. Can I have my money now?
Producer:Sure. Let's see after deducting from damages you get...ten bucks.
UM:v_v Screwed again.
Knuckles:Hey want to get an ice cream?
UM:No thanks
Tails:Hey I found an icemaker.
UM:Good for you tails.
Tails:but I need ten bucks to send for the cover charge.
UM:WWWWAAAAAAHHHHHH*SOB SOB SOB*
Knuckles:Don't worry folks. He'll be back to normal soon. So be rady for the
next match X VS. SAMUS. See you soon.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Note:I wish I had ten bucks. Please review. Otherwise i'll have to let my
evil twin write the story from now on.
THE DIET COKE OF EVIL!
UM:Muwahahahahahahah! Hello and welcome back to SYSTEM DEATHMATCH!
Today is going to be extra special.
Knuckles:Why?
UM:The producers are going to give me*Woosh*ONE MILLION DOLLARS-.-
if I can make the theme of of the show like the match.
Knuckles:And what exactly is that supposed to be.
UM:A deathmatch of EEEEEEEVVVVIIIILLLL!
Knuckles:O_o
UM:So all the staff today has to act very evil, or we don't get the money.
Knuckles:I can do that. I used to be very evil in two of the sonic games.
UM:I wouldn't call that evil.
Knuckles:What would it be then?
UM:I'd call it mischevous.
Knuckles:No way, it is totally evil.
UM:Yeah right, but what are we going to do about tails.
Knuckles:What do you mean?
UM:He's not exactly the Dr. Evil of evil....I GOT IT! HEY TAILS.
Tails:Hey UM, what's up.
UM:I need you to do something for me.
Tails:Ooooohhhhhh what what what what?
UM:I need you to go to ICELAND.
Tails:Iceland?
Knuckles:Iceland?
Audience:Iceland?
UM:Yeah ICELAND.
Tails:Why?
UM:To uhhh....get me a new ice maker.
Knuckles:-_-(Tails can't be dumb enough to fall for that)
Tails:Okay
Knuckles:D'oh
UM:Bye tails.^_^
Knuckles:That was very wrong.
UM:I know. hee hee hee.
Knuckles:I guess we should get started then.
UM:Okay. Todays match is a very...EVIL match with the
diabolical demons of dementia.(Say that five times fast)
GANON VS. SEPHIROTH
Knuckles:Unfortunately you just sent away our interviewer.
Meanwhile in Iceland*
Tails:Where do people keep icemakers?
Maybe AAA would know.
UM:Don't worry I got some tapes of them earlier.
Knuckles:Let me guess...EVIL tapes?
UM:How'd you know. HA HA HA HA HA!!!
Sephiroths Tape-
Sephy:Be careful. I couldn't stand the job you did last time.
Stylist:Oh Puh-lease, it isn't my fault you get frizz every morning.
Sephy:HEY. What I do every night is none of your business...hey what
are doing with that camera. GET OUT YOU*BZZZZZZZZ*
Knuckles:Words can not describe how disturbed I feel now.
UM:You think that was bad, wait till you see Ganon.
Ganons' Tape-
UM:I am now in Ganons' dressing room for an interview.
Ganon:Whoops where'd that towel go.
UM:AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!*Runs Away*
Ganon:Hey! Can you go get someone to fix the toilet.
*
UM:Next time I'm going to need to knock first eh knuckles...
uuhhh knuckles.
Knuckles:*Scrubbing*O_O Still not clean...Still not pure...Still tainted.
UM:Now that we're done with that evil...if not disgusting footage. Let's
get ready for the fight.
ANNOUNCER:IN THIS CORNER, WEIGHING IN AT 150 POUNDS THE GENETIC PRODUCT
WITH THE HUGE SWORD...SEPHIROTH.
*Sephiroth shows his cool by floating onto the ring*
ANNOUNCER:AND IN THIS CORNER, WEIGHING IN AT 300 POUNDS THE TERROR
OF HYRULE...GANON.
*Ganon lumbers on the ring breaking the door in the process*
*DING DING DING*
UM:Sephiroth will be using his deviously popular EVIL sword Masamune.
Knuckles:I'm surprised you know that.
UM:Don't forget that i'm a huge fan of the FF series.
Knuckles:Even the movie.
UM:HEY! DON'T KNOCK THE MOVIE! Sure there were a few issues with it,
but the soul of FF was with it.*SOB*IT WASN'T THEIR FFFAAAAAAUUUUUUULLLLLLT!
Knuckles:Now that was evil heh heh heh.
UM:Hey you're right, good job.(You prick)Ganon of the N64 version will be
using some very HUGE AND EVIL BLADES.
Seph:Prepare to become my dinner.
Ganon:Here, have some of this instead.*Swipes at Seph.*
Seph:*Slash**Whoosh**Clang*I will not be beaten by a beast!
*Both end up in Gridlock*
UM:Feel free to play any suspenseful fight music with this one folks.
Seph:DIE!YAAAAAAHHHHHHH*Sword hits Ganon, but fails to penetrate*What the!
Ganon:HAH! IN THIS BODY MY ARMOR CANNOT BE PIERCED BY ANY SWORD!
Seph:Holy Crap!
Ganon:Cue ring of fire and lightning effects!
*Room goes dark and the ring catches fire*
Knuckles:Woah! Those are EVIL looking effects.
UM:*On phone*Uhh yes I was wondering if our insurance covers ring fires.
Seph:FIRE 3! BOLT 3! ICE 3!*All hitting Ganon with minimal effect*
Ganon:OOOOHHHHH Tingly. Now bleed!*Does some nasty sword stabs and swipes*
UM:Wow if only sephiroth knew Ganons weakness.
Knuckles:How can he not, it's pulsating in front of him.
UM:Uhhhh really?
Knuckles:His tail you gutterbrain.
UM:I knew that.
Seph:Wow that tail is beating rally hard.
Ganon:That's what happens when it gets to hot.
Seph:Let me remove it for you then.YAAHHH
Ganon:EEEPPP!*Swings around very fast*Nah Nah. You'll never
catch my tail.
UM:Man this is getting out of control.
Knuckles:In a few minutes there won't be a ring left to fight in.
Ganon:Uuuhhhh Sephiroth.
Seph:Shut up and fight.
Ganon:Your hair's on fire.
Seph:EEEEEPPPPPP.PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!
UM:How will Ganon react to the situation.
Ganon:*Begins to slice and dice sephiroth*There no more hair problems.
Announcer:GANON IS THE WINNER.
Producer:Mr. UM. You have done a good job in doing an evil show.
UM:Thank you sir. Can I have my money now?
Producer:Sure. Let's see after deducting from damages you get...ten bucks.
UM:v_v Screwed again.
Knuckles:Hey want to get an ice cream?
UM:No thanks
Tails:Hey I found an icemaker.
UM:Good for you tails.
Tails:but I need ten bucks to send for the cover charge.
UM:WWWWAAAAAAHHHHHH*SOB SOB SOB*
Knuckles:Don't worry folks. He'll be back to normal soon. So be rady for the
next match X VS. SAMUS. See you soon.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Note:I wish I had ten bucks. Please review. Otherwise i'll have to let my
evil twin write the story from now on.