Episode 10
SEASON FINALE ^_^
Announcer:IN THE BEGINNING, UNIVERSE MASTER ZEE DECLARED A DEATHMATCH WITH
GAME CHARECTERS. THESE CHARECTERS FOUGHT, TO WHICH HE REPLIED...
UM:It is very good. Welcome loyal fans to the season finale of
system deathmatch. With me is my co-star since episode 5
Knuckles.
Knuckles:v_v. Thanks, that makes me feel real special.
UM:Are you being sarcastic again.
Knuckles:Nooooo.
UM:In any case...I think it is appropriate that we all have a
moment of silence for the people involved in the WTC.
attack.
...
...
...
...
...
...
UM:Now...with that done we may now commence with the big event.
Knuckles:We spared no expense for this.
UM:I'm proud that we were to make it this far.
Knuckles:I'm surprised to.
UM:We have plenty of other surprises for you.
Knuckles:I wasn't told of this.
UM:^_^ I know. I wanted to make sure you didn't wreck it.
Knuckles:Look, you may have it all high in mighty in authorland,
but I want to make sure that I get out of your stupid
finale in one piece.
UM:U_U(sniff)
Knuckles:What?
UM:You can insult the guests, you can insult me, but when
you insult the fic, you're indirectly kneeing me in
the groin.*SOB*
Knuckles:I had no idea you felt this way.
UM:U_U...Authors have feelings to you know.
Knuckles:I'm.....sorry.
UM:Good...now as I was saying, as a special treat I invited all
the previous winners back to the show.
Knuckles:You...did...what?
UM:You heard me.
Knuckles:You're wrong. You authors have no feelings. Cause if you
did, you'd realize that we charecters have feelings too.
And I feel that THIS IS INSANE!
UM:We're you dropped as a child?
Knuckles:Why do I even try?
UM:The problem is, most of them didn't want to come.
Knuckles:Why?
UM:Let's see...
Lara Croft:Restraining order.
Nemesis:Decapitated.(Don't ask why.)
Mario:Ate to much.
Link:Dissapered with Navi.
Cecil:Vanished into history.
Knuckle:So that leaves us with.
UM:Crono, Ganon, and X.
Knuckles:How did you pull this off?
UM:For another probe session with you, Washu teleprted them here.
Knuckles:Is that all I am to you, a probe toy for washu?
UM:She would've taken tails, but he's cuter than you.
Knuckles:O_O
UM:I'm sorry, but it's true.
Knuckles:Let's just continue.
UM:So guys, ready to see some mayhem?
All:Yeah!
Ganon:Does this place have snacks?
UM:Yeah, it's down the hall.
Ganon:Yummy*leaves*
Knuckles:Doesn't take much to please him huh?
X:Just make sure you don't have burritos.
UM:Why?
Crono:(We had taco bell for lunch before we came and...)
Knuckles:Let me guess, he stunk up the place.
X:Words could not describe the caos that ensued.
UM:Uh-oh.O_O
Knuckles:Don't tell me.
UM:Yeah. Today is mexican day in the cafeteria.
Security:Sir, ganon is eating all the food in the cafeteria.
UM:Hey washu, how long do you think we have till he blows.
Washu:At the rate he's eating, about 15 minutes.
UM:Let's make this quick then. Our final match of the season is
Bowser Vs. Solid Snake.
Announcer:IN THIS CORNER WEIGHING 350 POUNDS, THE TURTLE TYRANT OF
MUSHROOM KINGDOM...BOWSER!
*A giant pipe appears in the ring, and bowser pops out*
Bowser:I hope you people appreciate this. I gave up a kidnapping plan
to come here.
Announcer:AND IN THIS CORNER WEIGHING 175 POUNDS, THE SOLDIER OF THE
FUTUTRE(and star of MGS2 coming soon yay.)SOLID SNAKE!
UM:Uhhh I don't see anything.
*A box appears.*
Knuckles:What's with the box.
UM:geez.V_V. Snake, we discussed this earlier, no hiding in the box.
Snake:But he's frickin' huge. If I hide he won't see me.
Knuckles:That's a bit unlikly.
Bowser:I don't think he's here yet. Could someone get this box out of here.
Knuckles:O_O;
UM:C'mon snake, we agreed on this.
Snake:No we didn't. You drugged me, and stuffed me in a garbage bag.
Knuckles:Is this how you get all your guests here.
UM:No.
Knuckles:Really?
UM:Really...Sometimes I use a crate.^_^
Knuckles:O.O*facefault*
Bowser:Look is snake going to get here?
Snake:I'm right here you moron.
Bowser:WOW! The box talked.
Snake:*facefault*No i'm inside the box.
Bowser:Oh I knew that.
*DING DING DING*
UM:There they go. Snake is using a machine gun, but bowser's shell
seems to be blocking it.
Bowser:HA HA HA! Nothing can dent my perfect shell.
Snake:Let's find out.*Brings out grenade launcher.*
Bowser:Try it!
UM:Oh my god.*BOOM*
Knuckles:Was that a grenade?
X:No worse. Ganon just ripped one.
Crono:(RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!)
Bowser:What's that wierd cloud.
UM:If any of you have gas masks, put them on now.
Snake:Ha. Lucky me.
UM:My god this stench is terrible.
Knuckles:It's worse than you at a buffet.
UM:Yeah...HEY!
Bowser:*cough cough* I can't...breathe.
X:It's times like this i'm glad I can shut my nose off.
Crono:(Even lavos would be powerless.)
UM:Someone get a match.
Bowser:I can use my fire breath.
All:NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!
*KKKKKAAAAABBBBOOOOOMMMM*
UM:Whoa. I bet this happens all the time with him.
Knuckles:Let's be careful. Ganon is still loaded with bean curd.
Snake:All right hothead.*pulls out rocket launcher.*
Voice:no wait i'm trapped in here.
Snake:What the...
Bowser:Quiet toadstool.
UM:Bowser, did you kidnap princess toadstool again.
Bowser:I told you I was in the middle of a kidnapping.
Toadstool:You should set your priorities straight.
Knuckles:Does this mean mario is going to come save her.
Mario:YAHOO!
UM:I guess.
Bowser:Not now mario, i'm the middle of something here.
Mario:Huh?
UM:Sorry mario, you're going to have to soit this one out.
Snake:Don't worry plumber boy, i'll get her back.
Mario:Mommamia!
UM:Hey mario, you can eat at the cafeteria while you wait.
Mario:Yippe!*runs off*
Knuckles:Geezus man have you gone nutz.
UM:He looked hungry.
Knuckles:What do you think will happen now that mario is partaking of the
bean dip along with mario.
UM:I'm sure we don't want to know.
Bowser:Alright soldier boy take this.*Jumps high*
UM:Woah man. he's going to flip snake out of the ring.
*CRASH*
Snake:CCCRRRRAAAAAPPPPP.
UM:How unoriginal.
Bowser:What do you mean?
UM:Nemesis did the relativly same thing to pikachu.
Bowser:Well here's the difference. When snake lands, i'll have him crash
on my spikey shell that will rip him to pieces.
UM:I guess that's fine.
Knuckles:Except if snake has a parachute.
UM:Does he have one.
Knuckles:Look and see.
*Snake glides away from bowser with his parachute.*
Bowser:Son of a goomba.
UM:That's unusual.
Snake:I saw what bowser can do. I've played all the mario games.
Toadstool:Could you hurry up. The airs getting bad in here.
UM:God bowser, not you too.
Bowser:It's a perfectly normal body function.
UM:Yeah but you don't admit it like that.
Knuckles:We may have to relocate after this.
Snake:Now die yurtle.
Bowser:How dare you associate me with a kiddie book.
Snake:If I can defeat metal gear, I can definately beat you.
Bowser:Well if I can lose to mario so many times that it's not
funny anymore...uhh wait a minute.
UM:Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Knuckles:You just riffed yourself Heh Heh.
X:How long have you been a villan?
Bowser:Shut up! It's just a bad luck streak.
Crono:(There are other things you can do besides, kidnaping
the princess.)
UM:It's funny. You have the potential to be a better villian.
Knuckles:Think of this as a way to show how great a villan you
can be.
Bowser:You're right. It's time to KICK SOME @$$.
UM:Now maybe we can see some real fighting.
Knuckles:Hey UM, something isn't right.
UM:What?
Knuckles:Well the paper said mario couldn't show up because he ate to
much, but when he showed up to save the princess, he was just
fine.
UM:Yeah, that is wierd.
Security.Sir something terrible is happening.
UM:Dear god what now?
Security:Someone passed out all the mexican food to the audience.
Knuckles:WHAT?
Security:On top of that, everyone that's eaten it is starting to fart.
UM:*snicker*
Knuckles:What now?
UM:He said fart.
Knuckles:So what, you just did.
UM:Oh...o_o;...yeah.
Knuckles:This is getting weird?
UM:I didn't think the food would be this powerful...(wait a sec.)
WWWWWAAAAAASSSSSSHHHHHHUUUUUUUU!_
Washu:*snicker*You called he he he.
UM:You rigged the food didn't you.
Washu:Who me?HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!^_^
UM:Why did you choose today to be you?
Washu:It get's boring when knuckles isn't here.
Knuckles:*gulp*mommy.
UM:I don't have time to worry or care about this.
Washu:Fine, oh by the way, it's almost ready.
UM:Oh goody. Now let's get back to the fight.
Bowser:*stomp**Stomp* I hear snakes taste like chicken.
Snake:Well turtle soup doesn't sound bad either.
Bowser:*FIRE BREATH.*
Sanke:*FLAMETHROWER*
UM:Yowza it's getting hot.
Knuckles:Yowza?
Bowser:(I've got to do sometihng very big, very quick or i'm done for.)
Snake:(This is getting bad. If I can't hurt him i'm toast.)
Bowser:*CLOAK*Now you can't see me.
Snake:Where'd you go.
Bowser:*SLASH* Right here.
UM:Bowser's finally using his head.
Knuckles:He can't miss with his cloak and slasher technique.
Snake:I can play that game to.*CLOAKS*
Bowser:Wuh?
UM:My god. He's using the cloak device used by grey fox in MGS.
Bowser:*CLOAK*
Knuckles:So now we have a fight where the fighters can't see each other.
Snake:Where'd you go.
Bowser:I'd tell you, but I can't remember where I am.
Snake:C'mon out
*BUMP*
Snake + Bowser:OW!
UM:C'mon guys we're on a timeframe here.
Snake:Hmmm...AH HA!...Hey bowser the princess got out of your shell.
Bowser:*REAPPEARS*Where?
Snake:*ROCKET LAUNCHER* Time to fry!
Bowser:Oh poo, foiled again.
*KABOOOOOOOM*
UM:Was that a rocket or was it ganon again.
Knuckles:I...think it was a rocket this time.
UM:WOO-HOO. Snake is the winner.
Toadstool:*singed* You cut it a little close there didn't you.
Snake:At least you're alive sweety.
Toadstool:(Wow he sure is built up.)
UM:I think the lesson learned today is...
Food can be your friend
or food can be your foe
Ganon:But if you eat to much of it
UM+Ganon:To heaven you will goooooooooo.
Knuckles:I need a new profession.
UM:Thanks for watching system deathmatch. Tune in for
season two coming sometime in the future...i'm not sure.
You can bet that knuckles will still be here.
Knuckles:Mom told me there'd be fics like this.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Note:Thanks everyone for your excellent reviews. This could not be done without your
support. Don't worry, you haven't seen the last of me or knuckles. Season two will
come soon. If any of you have ideas for future matches, just send in the names of the
two who will fight. Then i'll let the readers decide who will win. Get ready for
better fights, and even more mayhem then ever before.^_^
SEASON FINALE ^_^
Announcer:IN THE BEGINNING, UNIVERSE MASTER ZEE DECLARED A DEATHMATCH WITH
GAME CHARECTERS. THESE CHARECTERS FOUGHT, TO WHICH HE REPLIED...
UM:It is very good. Welcome loyal fans to the season finale of
system deathmatch. With me is my co-star since episode 5
Knuckles.
Knuckles:v_v. Thanks, that makes me feel real special.
UM:Are you being sarcastic again.
Knuckles:Nooooo.
UM:In any case...I think it is appropriate that we all have a
moment of silence for the people involved in the WTC.
attack.
...
...
...
...
...
...
UM:Now...with that done we may now commence with the big event.
Knuckles:We spared no expense for this.
UM:I'm proud that we were to make it this far.
Knuckles:I'm surprised to.
UM:We have plenty of other surprises for you.
Knuckles:I wasn't told of this.
UM:^_^ I know. I wanted to make sure you didn't wreck it.
Knuckles:Look, you may have it all high in mighty in authorland,
but I want to make sure that I get out of your stupid
finale in one piece.
UM:U_U(sniff)
Knuckles:What?
UM:You can insult the guests, you can insult me, but when
you insult the fic, you're indirectly kneeing me in
the groin.*SOB*
Knuckles:I had no idea you felt this way.
UM:U_U...Authors have feelings to you know.
Knuckles:I'm.....sorry.
UM:Good...now as I was saying, as a special treat I invited all
the previous winners back to the show.
Knuckles:You...did...what?
UM:You heard me.
Knuckles:You're wrong. You authors have no feelings. Cause if you
did, you'd realize that we charecters have feelings too.
And I feel that THIS IS INSANE!
UM:We're you dropped as a child?
Knuckles:Why do I even try?
UM:The problem is, most of them didn't want to come.
Knuckles:Why?
UM:Let's see...
Lara Croft:Restraining order.
Nemesis:Decapitated.(Don't ask why.)
Mario:Ate to much.
Link:Dissapered with Navi.
Cecil:Vanished into history.
Knuckle:So that leaves us with.
UM:Crono, Ganon, and X.
Knuckles:How did you pull this off?
UM:For another probe session with you, Washu teleprted them here.
Knuckles:Is that all I am to you, a probe toy for washu?
UM:She would've taken tails, but he's cuter than you.
Knuckles:O_O
UM:I'm sorry, but it's true.
Knuckles:Let's just continue.
UM:So guys, ready to see some mayhem?
All:Yeah!
Ganon:Does this place have snacks?
UM:Yeah, it's down the hall.
Ganon:Yummy*leaves*
Knuckles:Doesn't take much to please him huh?
X:Just make sure you don't have burritos.
UM:Why?
Crono:(We had taco bell for lunch before we came and...)
Knuckles:Let me guess, he stunk up the place.
X:Words could not describe the caos that ensued.
UM:Uh-oh.O_O
Knuckles:Don't tell me.
UM:Yeah. Today is mexican day in the cafeteria.
Security:Sir, ganon is eating all the food in the cafeteria.
UM:Hey washu, how long do you think we have till he blows.
Washu:At the rate he's eating, about 15 minutes.
UM:Let's make this quick then. Our final match of the season is
Bowser Vs. Solid Snake.
Announcer:IN THIS CORNER WEIGHING 350 POUNDS, THE TURTLE TYRANT OF
MUSHROOM KINGDOM...BOWSER!
*A giant pipe appears in the ring, and bowser pops out*
Bowser:I hope you people appreciate this. I gave up a kidnapping plan
to come here.
Announcer:AND IN THIS CORNER WEIGHING 175 POUNDS, THE SOLDIER OF THE
FUTUTRE(and star of MGS2 coming soon yay.)SOLID SNAKE!
UM:Uhhh I don't see anything.
*A box appears.*
Knuckles:What's with the box.
UM:geez.V_V. Snake, we discussed this earlier, no hiding in the box.
Snake:But he's frickin' huge. If I hide he won't see me.
Knuckles:That's a bit unlikly.
Bowser:I don't think he's here yet. Could someone get this box out of here.
Knuckles:O_O;
UM:C'mon snake, we agreed on this.
Snake:No we didn't. You drugged me, and stuffed me in a garbage bag.
Knuckles:Is this how you get all your guests here.
UM:No.
Knuckles:Really?
UM:Really...Sometimes I use a crate.^_^
Knuckles:O.O*facefault*
Bowser:Look is snake going to get here?
Snake:I'm right here you moron.
Bowser:WOW! The box talked.
Snake:*facefault*No i'm inside the box.
Bowser:Oh I knew that.
*DING DING DING*
UM:There they go. Snake is using a machine gun, but bowser's shell
seems to be blocking it.
Bowser:HA HA HA! Nothing can dent my perfect shell.
Snake:Let's find out.*Brings out grenade launcher.*
Bowser:Try it!
UM:Oh my god.*BOOM*
Knuckles:Was that a grenade?
X:No worse. Ganon just ripped one.
Crono:(RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!)
Bowser:What's that wierd cloud.
UM:If any of you have gas masks, put them on now.
Snake:Ha. Lucky me.
UM:My god this stench is terrible.
Knuckles:It's worse than you at a buffet.
UM:Yeah...HEY!
Bowser:*cough cough* I can't...breathe.
X:It's times like this i'm glad I can shut my nose off.
Crono:(Even lavos would be powerless.)
UM:Someone get a match.
Bowser:I can use my fire breath.
All:NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!
*KKKKKAAAAABBBBOOOOOMMMM*
UM:Whoa. I bet this happens all the time with him.
Knuckles:Let's be careful. Ganon is still loaded with bean curd.
Snake:All right hothead.*pulls out rocket launcher.*
Voice:no wait i'm trapped in here.
Snake:What the...
Bowser:Quiet toadstool.
UM:Bowser, did you kidnap princess toadstool again.
Bowser:I told you I was in the middle of a kidnapping.
Toadstool:You should set your priorities straight.
Knuckles:Does this mean mario is going to come save her.
Mario:YAHOO!
UM:I guess.
Bowser:Not now mario, i'm the middle of something here.
Mario:Huh?
UM:Sorry mario, you're going to have to soit this one out.
Snake:Don't worry plumber boy, i'll get her back.
Mario:Mommamia!
UM:Hey mario, you can eat at the cafeteria while you wait.
Mario:Yippe!*runs off*
Knuckles:Geezus man have you gone nutz.
UM:He looked hungry.
Knuckles:What do you think will happen now that mario is partaking of the
bean dip along with mario.
UM:I'm sure we don't want to know.
Bowser:Alright soldier boy take this.*Jumps high*
UM:Woah man. he's going to flip snake out of the ring.
*CRASH*
Snake:CCCRRRRAAAAAPPPPP.
UM:How unoriginal.
Bowser:What do you mean?
UM:Nemesis did the relativly same thing to pikachu.
Bowser:Well here's the difference. When snake lands, i'll have him crash
on my spikey shell that will rip him to pieces.
UM:I guess that's fine.
Knuckles:Except if snake has a parachute.
UM:Does he have one.
Knuckles:Look and see.
*Snake glides away from bowser with his parachute.*
Bowser:Son of a goomba.
UM:That's unusual.
Snake:I saw what bowser can do. I've played all the mario games.
Toadstool:Could you hurry up. The airs getting bad in here.
UM:God bowser, not you too.
Bowser:It's a perfectly normal body function.
UM:Yeah but you don't admit it like that.
Knuckles:We may have to relocate after this.
Snake:Now die yurtle.
Bowser:How dare you associate me with a kiddie book.
Snake:If I can defeat metal gear, I can definately beat you.
Bowser:Well if I can lose to mario so many times that it's not
funny anymore...uhh wait a minute.
UM:Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Knuckles:You just riffed yourself Heh Heh.
X:How long have you been a villan?
Bowser:Shut up! It's just a bad luck streak.
Crono:(There are other things you can do besides, kidnaping
the princess.)
UM:It's funny. You have the potential to be a better villian.
Knuckles:Think of this as a way to show how great a villan you
can be.
Bowser:You're right. It's time to KICK SOME @$$.
UM:Now maybe we can see some real fighting.
Knuckles:Hey UM, something isn't right.
UM:What?
Knuckles:Well the paper said mario couldn't show up because he ate to
much, but when he showed up to save the princess, he was just
fine.
UM:Yeah, that is wierd.
Security.Sir something terrible is happening.
UM:Dear god what now?
Security:Someone passed out all the mexican food to the audience.
Knuckles:WHAT?
Security:On top of that, everyone that's eaten it is starting to fart.
UM:*snicker*
Knuckles:What now?
UM:He said fart.
Knuckles:So what, you just did.
UM:Oh...o_o;...yeah.
Knuckles:This is getting weird?
UM:I didn't think the food would be this powerful...(wait a sec.)
WWWWWAAAAAASSSSSSHHHHHHUUUUUUUU!_
Washu:*snicker*You called he he he.
UM:You rigged the food didn't you.
Washu:Who me?HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!^_^
UM:Why did you choose today to be you?
Washu:It get's boring when knuckles isn't here.
Knuckles:*gulp*mommy.
UM:I don't have time to worry or care about this.
Washu:Fine, oh by the way, it's almost ready.
UM:Oh goody. Now let's get back to the fight.
Bowser:*stomp**Stomp* I hear snakes taste like chicken.
Snake:Well turtle soup doesn't sound bad either.
Bowser:*FIRE BREATH.*
Sanke:*FLAMETHROWER*
UM:Yowza it's getting hot.
Knuckles:Yowza?
Bowser:(I've got to do sometihng very big, very quick or i'm done for.)
Snake:(This is getting bad. If I can't hurt him i'm toast.)
Bowser:*CLOAK*Now you can't see me.
Snake:Where'd you go.
Bowser:*SLASH* Right here.
UM:Bowser's finally using his head.
Knuckles:He can't miss with his cloak and slasher technique.
Snake:I can play that game to.*CLOAKS*
Bowser:Wuh?
UM:My god. He's using the cloak device used by grey fox in MGS.
Bowser:*CLOAK*
Knuckles:So now we have a fight where the fighters can't see each other.
Snake:Where'd you go.
Bowser:I'd tell you, but I can't remember where I am.
Snake:C'mon out
*BUMP*
Snake + Bowser:OW!
UM:C'mon guys we're on a timeframe here.
Snake:Hmmm...AH HA!...Hey bowser the princess got out of your shell.
Bowser:*REAPPEARS*Where?
Snake:*ROCKET LAUNCHER* Time to fry!
Bowser:Oh poo, foiled again.
*KABOOOOOOOM*
UM:Was that a rocket or was it ganon again.
Knuckles:I...think it was a rocket this time.
UM:WOO-HOO. Snake is the winner.
Toadstool:*singed* You cut it a little close there didn't you.
Snake:At least you're alive sweety.
Toadstool:(Wow he sure is built up.)
UM:I think the lesson learned today is...
Food can be your friend
or food can be your foe
Ganon:But if you eat to much of it
UM+Ganon:To heaven you will goooooooooo.
Knuckles:I need a new profession.
UM:Thanks for watching system deathmatch. Tune in for
season two coming sometime in the future...i'm not sure.
You can bet that knuckles will still be here.
Knuckles:Mom told me there'd be fics like this.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Note:Thanks everyone for your excellent reviews. This could not be done without your
support. Don't worry, you haven't seen the last of me or knuckles. Season two will
come soon. If any of you have ideas for future matches, just send in the names of the
two who will fight. Then i'll let the readers decide who will win. Get ready for
better fights, and even more mayhem then ever before.^_^