Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy IX. Squaresoft does.
Author's Notes: Okay, thanks to The Pink Tonberry for this idea. I hope you enjoy this story since fanfiction.net was down for quite a while. I planned to upload it earlier than this…
Eiko: * singing * [Selphie's Song ^. ~]
Cable car, cable car,
Take us away.
Take us away, far away.
To the future, we will g-
Steiner: Will you stop that infernal racket!?
Eiko: Why? I'm gonna be a famous singer someday, and you'll be sorry for calling it a racket!
Steiner: * mumbles * I wouldn't count on that.
Dagger: Come on, you two. Can't you get along until we reach Treno?
Steiner: My apologies, Your Highness.
Eiko: Sorry, Dagger.
Zidane: This Tetra Master tournament is the biggest event in all of Gaia. I heard that even that loser Lowell Bridges is entering…
Eiko: Lowell Bridges!? Oh, he's such a cutie pie! I loved him in Moogle Wannabe 2!
Zidane: You actually saw that stupid show?
Eiko: Yeah. Moondon insisted.
Vivi: E-eiko?
Eiko: What is it, Vivi?
Vivi: Do you know how to play Tetra Master?
Eiko: Are you kidding? I'm practically a Tetra Master myself. I always play against Chimomo, Momatose, and Morrison.
Vivi: Uh,… you play against… moogles?
Eiko: * nods *
Vivi: I never knew moogles could play Tetra Master.
Eiko: They do a lovely rendition of "I want to be your Canary" , but they call it "I want to be your Kupo Nut". You really should see it sometime when you're in Madain Sari.
Vivi: * sweatdrop *
Attendant: The cable car has now arrived at South Gate's North Station, Dali and Treno. At this time, we ask you exit the car.
Zidane: Come on. We have to hurry and get registered.
* * *
* Treno *
Zorn: We must register for the card tournament!
Thorn: Register for the card tournament, must we?
Zorn: Yes, we must!
* start running *
Thorn: * stops * The right way, that is not!
Zorn: I know it is not the right way!
Thorn: Really, do you?
Zorn: I really do!
Thorn: Wonder, I sometimes do.
Zorn: Now is not the time to wonder!
Zorn and Thorn: We must hurry to the card stadium!
* run off *
Boy: * cries * Daddy, I hate clowns! They're scary!
Father: You're right, son. We must rid the town of this vermin. It's time to call… the extinguisher!
Boy: Yay!!
* follow Zorn and Thorn *
* * *
Stilzkin: Ah, Treno. The city of nobles… and a great place to make a quick Gil. But this time I'm not here for dealing. I'm here to win that tournament! * walks down the steps by Treno's fountain *
Noblewoman: Dear, isn't that the travelling moogle who sold you those strange drugs, disguised as a "value deal", so he could continue on his journey?
Nobleman: Yes it is. I felt sorry for him. I never suspected a moogle could be a drug dealer…
Noblewoman: I heard he's wanted in Alexandria and Lindblum, too.
* * *
Lani: * looking around in the Treno weapon shop * Don't you have any axes?
Old Woman: No, I'm afraid we don't, but we do have a lovely assortment of daggers.
Lani: I don't want your damn daggers! I want axes!
Old Woman: …
Lani: * sees a poster * Hey, what's this? "Are you a Tetra Master? If you think you've got what it takes, come to the card stadium, today only, and show your skills. The winner receives a prize of his/her own choosing." Hmm. I can just picture myself with a shiny, new ax… Hey you!
Old Woman: Y-yes?
Lani: * sweetly * Where's the card stadium?
* * *
Lowell: Ugh! I can't believe I came to this rat-infested city! My manager told me it would be good for my image if I participate in that tournament, although it is unworthy of my presence…
Four-Armed Man: * bumps into Lowell *
Lowell: * falls on his behind * Ow! Why you scum! How dare you!?
Four-Armed Man: Don't you know who I am!? …Huh? I've seen you somewhere before. …Hey, aren't you that Lester Bridges guy from Lindblum?
Lowell: It's Lowell!! And don't forget it you insolent fool!
Four-Armed Man: …Sorry. * walks away *
Lowell: Humph. No-good, rotten riff-raff… Now to find that card stadium. ! ! Where's my wallet!?
Four-Armed Man: * behind a statue * Heh heh heh.
* * *
Beatrix: * wearing sunglasses and a big, floppy hat * * walks up steps by inn * I'm so glad the princess allowed me to take some time off today. If anyone knew how obsessed I am with that silly card game, they'd laugh in my face, if I didn't point my sword in theirs first… The winner of this tournament will be seen as a master in the eyes of all other players. And I shall be that master!
Marco: Hey lady, why're you talkin' to yourself?
Beatrix: * sweatdrop *
* * *
Zidane: So, I told him I was the master thief.
Vivi and Eiko: Wow!
Zidane: Yeah, and then-oh, are we back? Ahem. Let's register!
Vivi: * whispers * You already said that.
Zidane: Oh? Oh, yeah. Well, just incase someone forgot why we're here…
* everybody looks at Steiner who is throwing a ten Gil coin in the fountain, and another, and another, and another… *
Steiner: What? It's not my fault. When I look into that Gil-filled fountain, it makes me want to throw more.
Zidane: Rusty, something tells me you'd have a gambling problem…
Dagger: Steiner, I heard Beatrix is going to register.
Steiner: I-is that what she told you!?
Dagger: Well, actually * grins sheepishly * I found a whole bunch of Tetra Master cards on the Red Rose, in Beatrix's cabin. …It's not like I was looking in there on purpose! And she did ask to leave early this morning. Maybe it was so she could reach Treno…
Steiner: No! Not again! Am I destined to always compete against my beloved Bea-bea?
Zidane: Rusty that's getting old. How about thinking up an original nickname for her?
Steiner: Hmm. …How does "Cutie Patootie" sound?
Zidane: Nah. That's a little too original.
Steiner: Umm. …I've got it! Trixie. It's perfect!
Zidane: * whispers * Sounds like a Treno showgirl to me.
Dagger: Sounds like or is?
Zidane: Eh heh heh…
Steiner: * sobs * My beloved Trixie.
Eiko: I think I liked Bea-bea better.
Vivi: M-me too…
Dagger: Let's just find the card stadium.
* * *
* card stadium *
Thorn: * to Card Seller * To register, we want.
Zorn: Yes, as a team.
Card Seller: Uh, I'm afraid that it isn't possible for you to play as a team. You will both have to register separately.
Thorn: Play as a team, we must!
Zorn: We can only play together!
Card Seller: Well, I suppose I could bend the rules, just this once. What are your names?
Thorn: Thorn is my name.
Zorn: My name is Zorn.
Card Seller: Don't you ever get tired of talking like that?
Father: * runs toward Zorn and Thorn * Prepare to be extinguished clowns! * has a fire extinguisher in his hands *
Boy: * follows his father * Yay!!
Thorn: Yikes!
Zorn: Ahhh!
* Zorn and Thorn run into the stadium *
Boy: Jeez, Dad. They got away.
Father: We'll just wait until they come out… and then we'll get them. They can't hide forever.
Boy: Yay!!
* * *
Stilzkin: * to card seller * Hello there. I'd like to register in the tournament.
Card Seller: O-okay. (He's a moogle!)
Stilzkin: But before I do that, can I interest you in a "value deal"? All proceeds go to helping me in continuing my journey.
Card Seller: * sweatdrop *
* * *
Lani: Is this the card stadium?
Card Seller: Yes, it is. Would you like to register in today's tournament?
Lani: Yeah. I need a new ax. * holds up her ax * This one's getting a little dull, don't you think? * ax glints in the sun *
Card Seller: I-it looks sharp enough to me.
Lani: I'm a professional! I think I'd know if it were sharp enough!
Card Seller: I-I'm sorry!
Lani: Humph. * enters stadium *
* * *
Card Seller: Mr. Lowell! What an honor!
Lowell: Of course it is. I'm going to register in your tournament.
Card Seller: Yes, yes. Oh, this is wonderful! …Do you-do you think I could have your autograph… for my niece!? She's your biggest fan!
Lowell: Sure. Why not?
Card Seller: * hands Lowell autograph book * Oh, boy! Oh, boy!
Lowell: * uses a stamp with his name engraved on the bottom * Here.
Card Seller: * sweatdrop * Th-thanks.
* * *
Beatrix: *looks around her. A Mission Impossible-type theme is playing in the background * (Good. I don't see anyone I know.) * approaches Card Seller * * whispers* I'd like to register in the card tournament.
Card Seller: What was that? I couldn't hear you.
Beatrix: * whispers louder * I'd like to register in the card tournament.
Card Seller: I'm sorry. I still can't hear you.
Beatrix: * looks around her * * speaks in a normal tone * I'd like to register in the tournament.
Card Seller: Fine.
Tim: Beatrix-
Beatrix: Oh, no! I've been discovered! * runs into stadium *
Tim: -the superblob is my hero!
* * *
Zidane: Here it is. Treno's card stadium.
Vivi: Wow, it's huge!
Eiko: No it isn't. It's gigantic!
Steiner: You're both wrong. It's enormous!
Zidane and Dagger: * sweatdrop *
Card Seller: * looks at Zidane, Dagger, Steiner, Vivi, and Eiko *
Zidane: * to Card Seller * Hey, I know she's cute, but it's rude to stare!
Card Seller: I-I wasn't looking at the young lady. It's just-never mind.
Dagger: This seems familiar…
Zidane: So, are you saying she's not cute enough for you?
Card Seller: No that's not wh-
Zidane: Aha! So you do think she's cute!!
Card Seller: … … Would you like to register in the tournament?
Zidane: Changing the subject now, are we?
Dagger: Yes, we would.
Card Seller: Thank you. You may all enter the stadium.
Eiko: Time to kick some butt!! * runs inside stadium *
Vivi: I-I hope she doesn't mean that literally… * enters stadium *
Steiner: * whining * Trixie, how could you do this to me!? * slumps into stadium *
Zidane: * to Card Seller * I know you think she's cute, so just admit it!
Dagger: * takes Zidane's hand * Come on, Zidane. * to Card Seller * Sorry about that.
* Zidane and Dagger enter stadium *
Card Game Usher: * blows trumpet * The tournament is now underway!
* The next chapter is up. So, continue reading to find out who is the Tetra Master. *