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Thanks to Elaine, my beta-reader, for being so patient with me
The Sentinel
-- In the Middle of Nowhere --
by Franzi (April/May 2000)
Translated by Franzi (October 2000)
8:48 p.m. - time to go home. Sighing, Blair stood up. It had been a long day and now all he wanted was to go home, take a hot bath and listen to some soothing music on the stereo. This would be the last evening he could listen to the music with the volumn as loud as *he* wanted. Jim would be back from Canada tomorrow morning. He'd taken some days off - alone - to relax. The fact that Jim planned to get there by a helicopter, suppressed Blair's will to argue about whether Jim should go there alone or not.
He packed his books into his backpack and headed towards the door. He was just about to open it when someone knocked at the door of his office. Who could that be? Wondering, he opened the door - and found Simon.
"Simon? What are you doing here?" he greeted the taller man.
As Simon didn't answer the question, he felt that something was terrible wrong. JIM! "Something's happened to Jim, right? Simon? Is he alive?!"
For the first time Blair looked directly into the eyes of the Major Crimes Captain - and the sorrow he saw in those dark eyes nearly made his heart stop.
"We don't know anything yet, Blair. Tonight, Jim wanted to go by helicopter to the next bigger town, to get back to Cascade. But the helicopter never arrived there. At one moment they had the helicopter on the radar and one minute later it disappeared. The pilot never reported any problems."
Blair felt his knees getting wobbly. He had to sit down. Aghast, he looked at Simon. He *knew* that something like this could happen, but not like this. Not on a holiday. Somehow that didn't feel right.
Calm down, Blair. Right now, he's only missing. He's not-. Hell, he wasn't even able to *think* this impossible word.
"Are you okay Blair?"
Startled, the student looked up. He'd almost forgotten that Simon was still there.
"Yes. No. Simon, why isn't anybody looking for Jim and the pilot?"
"The last known position of the helicopter Rainier National Forest near the foothills of the Cascades. At the moment it's raining very hard up there. Even during the day, there's almost no chance to find someone. The storm's gotten stronger in the last fifteen minutes and it's too dangerous for the SAR helicopter to overfly the area. We have to wait - At least until the storm's over.
"But that may be hours from now! We don't know what happened! Jim's surely hurt, and needs help. In a few hours it could be too late. Damn it, we have to do something!"
Blair almost screamed the last sentence. Simon grabbed Blair by his shoulders and made him to look into his eyes.
"Sandburg - Blair - listen to me! We. Can't. Do. Anything. Not now. Maybe they had to make an emergency landing and are now waiting until the storm's over."
"And why didn't the pilot call it in, Simon? Can you give me an answer?"
"Maybe the radio was damaged when they set down."
"Yeah. Maybe, maybe not. You know, it's not like that!"
Simon knew he had to calm Blair down somehow. They really couldn't do anything now and it would be better for the both of them to get a little sleep. Tomorrow would be very hard. Reluctantly, he placed his arm around Blair's shoulders.
"Come on, I'll drive you home. "
"Okay."
During the ride to 852 Prospect Avenue, Blair didn't say a single word. He just sat there and stared at the street.
"Blair, we're here."
Scared, he cringed as those three words disturbed the silence.
"Hmm? Oh, okay. Give me just a little time."
The next few minutes he sat in the car and looked at the first true home he'd ever known. Finally, he pulled himself together and got out of the car.
"You want me to go with you?" Simon asked.
"No, thanks. I can manage it."
"I hope so. Call me if you need any help."
"Will do. Good night."
"Try to get some sleep, Blair."
A few minutes later, Blair stood in front of the door. His hands were shaking so hard he couldn't fit the key into the lock. After a few attempts, the door finally opened and Blair stepped in. Though he *knew* that it couldn't be, he hoped that Jim was there, sitting on the couch, waiting for him to come home. The loft was empty. It was strange. An hour earlier Blair was looking forward to an empty loft, but now, now he felt so deserted and hopeless without Jim. Though he felt like crying, he couldn't do it. He thought if he would now start to cry, he would admit the fact, that Jim may be dead. No. As long as he didn't know anything about Jim, he couldn't start to cry. Tired and exhausted he let himself drop down on the couch and immediately fall asleep
~~~~~
Darkness. Coldness. Wetness. Slowly, Jim gained consciousness again. Oh Man, what happened? As he opened his eyes and looked at the leaves of the trees, he remembered. The storm. The helicopter. The crash. The explosion. Whatever happened after the crash - he couldn't remember. He even couldn't remember how he got out of the helicopter, before it exploded.
How long have I been here? He tried to sit up, but immediately a sharp pain ran through his whole body. That wasn't a good idea. He tried it again - but now a lot slower and more careful. This time he was able to straighten his upper body. Immediately, he felt a cruel headache and dizziness. Then he moved his legs. Whoa - that wasn't so good. It looked like his right leg was broken, so he couldn't move. Which lead him to the question, how he got of the helicopter with this broken leg.
And now? He decided to 'test' his senses. Sight seemed to be okay, despite the dizziness. Hearing was also okay - he could hear the beat of a bird's wings. Touch was more active than he wanted to. He didn't want to test smell and taste. Right now, he could already smell the burned flesh of a human being. Once you smelled it, you never forgot that scent.
Jim couldn't remember, but the pilot must have died in the crash, otherwise Jim would have saved him. Looks like he came through this pretty well - despite some broken bones, some deep cuts and a concussion. The question was, how to survive the night. There was no way anyone would find him at night. It was very cold, the wind blew very hard and it was raining cats and dogs - not the best conditions for a night in the open. For the first time after the crash he inspected himself. His clothes were covered with blood, though the cuts stopped bleeding by now. But his leg was still bleeding. If he didn't want to become unconscious because of blood loss, he had to bandage it somehow. He decided to use his shirt for this. His clothes were soaked and wouldn't protect him from the cold. As he bandaged his injured leg, he had to bite on his lower lip, so he won't cry out loud. For some reason Jim didn't want to hear his own voice, now. It would be like a disturbance of the silence. He didn't know why, but he didn't want to disturb the peaceful silence. Although it was raining, the forest was so quiet, compared to the sounds of the city.
And what are you going to do now, Ellison? He looked around and saw a big and burly tree situated right behind him. Good. If I can make it to the tree, I can spend the night under it. The leaves would be a protection of the rain. Slowly and carefully he moved closer to the tree. As he finally made it there, he leaned against the trunk, loosed a relieved sigh and waited for the dawn and the rescue.
~~~~~
"JIM!" Blair woke up startled. He looked at his alarm clock, it read, 11:06 pm. What a nightmare. He had seen Jim - in a forest, covered with leaves. Blair wanted to save Jim, but he was too late. There was nothing he could do for his sentinel. No. That just can't happen! Something else - very strange - happened. Suddenly he knew where he would find Jim. Why he knew this, he didn't know. Blair knew only one thing. He had to go there. At first he needed to tell Simon, but decided not to. Simon would talk him into not going there, not before the storm's over, waiting for the help of the SAR. No, he couldn't risk this. Jim had been missing more than two hours. Lost in the middle of nowhere. No. He could still call Simon, when he found Jim.
Blair took his backpack and though about what he would need, in case he found Jim. First he would need enough food - enough for the both of them to survive the night. He would also need some bandages. Whiskey would be good enough for disinfecting wounds. The last things he packed into his backpack was a thin, space blanket, some of Jim's sweaters and his waterproofed jacket. After he left a message on his telephone-answering machine he headed for the door and walked out of the loft. Now he was glad that he had had his Volvo serviced some weeks ago. This way he would get there in about two hours. Blair hoped, that his friend could hold on that long.
~~~~~
Blair. This was his first thought, after he was able to think straight again. He knew that Blair would be really worried. Hopefully Simon was watching over him, so he won't do anything stupid.
By now, Jim was also aware of the fact that he was shivering. His whole body was shaking, but not only because of the cold. He had lost a lot of blood. Jim tried to keep himself awake by moving his arms and doing some stretching, he didn't want to pass out. Of course, he had already heard the approaching wolves, being attracted by the sweetish smell of his blood.
Fortunately, the wolves wouldn't attack him as long as he was awake. They never attack human beings. Suddenly he felt strange, as if Sandburg was near. Concentrating he listened to everything within his hearing range, but he couldn't recognize anything indicating that his partner was here. But the feeling remained. It wasn't his imagination - it was stronger. He dialed up his hearing even more.
There it was. Footsteps. And a heartbeat. Blair. It was definitely the heartbeat of his friend. Blair was here. But what was he doing here? And - most of all - how had he found Jim?
"Chief?" He called, unaware of how far away his partner was, confused due to his injuries, wondering why Blair couldn't hear him.
"Blair?!" No answer. He tried it again, now a bit louder than before.
"Sandburg! I'm here!" Suddenly it seemed the younger man had heard him.
"Jim! I'm on my way! Hold on, just one more moment."
About five minutes later, he could see Blair walking towards him. Blair was exhausted and his face was lined from a sleepless night full of sorrow.
"Oh God Jim. I'm so relieved that I finally found you! How are you?"
"Blair, you just can't imagine how happy I am to see you!"
Jims voice was distorted from the pain. How badly is he hurt? Blair looked closer at Jim by the beam from his flashlight. He looked awful. His clothes covered with blood and he was unusually pale. Blood. A sudden nausea overcame Blair. He inhaled deeply to fight against it. Pull yourself together, Sandburg. Jim needs you now. He could recognize a number of cuts on Jim's body, but it looked as if most of them stopped bleeding. In addition, Jim's whole body was shivering and a look at Jim's leg told Blair, that they wouldn't get out of the forest. There was no way he could carry his best friend the three kilometers to his car. The best thing he could do, was taking care of Jim as good as it gets and phoning Simon to tell him where they were.
" Jim, man, let's get you into this sweater and then under this blanket. Get yourself a bit warmed up." Blair managed to get the sweater on the injured man and covered him with the blanket
"Thanks. I'm getting a bit warmer, now, chief."
"Jim, can you remember what happened?"
"I don't know. On the flight back to the city it was very stormy and the last thing I remember is the helicopter going down. And then I awoke here. How I got here? I don't know."
"Maybe you'll remember one day. I'm gonna take a look at your leg, okay?"
"Yeah."
Blair kneeled beside Jim and took a bottle of whiskey out of his backpack.
"Hey, what are you doing with the 15 years old Scotch? It was expensive!"
"Yeah, and now it's going to save you from blood poisoning. I have to disinfect the wound on your leg. Grit your teeth together, this is gonna hurt!"
After cutting open the right trouser leg, he began to pour the alcohol slowly on the injured leg.
His friend let go a muffled "Arrgh". The whiskey washed away all the dirt and blood so Blair could see the reason for the bleeding. It was as Blair expected; the bone had splintered and tore through the skin
"Doesn't look good, Jim."
"It doesn't feel too good either, Chief."
Blair fought against the developing nausea and prepared to splint the injured leg with several large branches he found under the huge tree Jim had used for shelter.
"Jim, this will hurt, I'm sorry."
"Just get it done Chief, don't think it can hurt much worse."
Blair bandaged the leg as gently and quickly as he was able to and this time it was Jim who fought against nausea and unconsciousness.
"You trying to finish me off here, Chief?"
"It's over, Jim. Are you still cold?"
"No, it's okay. But now, talk. How did you find me?"
He had wondered about this since Blair had arrived here, but the young man hadn't left him much time to ask any questions.
"I know, it sounds strange, but earlier tonight I woke up after a nightmare. I saw you - dead - and I felt as if you called my name. And suddenly I knew where I would find you. I just had to go and search for you."
"Does Simon know about this?"
Blair knew that Jim wouldn't be that happy about his answer. He looked at his best friend with his puppy eyes and said, "No."
"What?!" Jim rose as he heard Blair's answer - and regretted this action immediately as every part of his body complained about the movement.
"That's great. I can hear Simon yelling now."
"So can I."
"You got your cell phone handy so we can call Simon and fill him in on where to find us?"
"Of course. I'll call him."
Blair rummaged through his backpack and finally found his cell phone. He dialed Simon's private number.
"Banks", Simon barked.
"Captain, Sandburg here. I've found Jim!"
"You did WHAT?!"
"I don't have the time for explanations the battery is nearly dead. Could you get us an SAR helicopter? It's impossible for Jim to walk to my car."
"Where are you?"
"About five hundred meters away of from the wreckage."
"The weather service said that the storm would be over in about one hour. That means that the helicopter can be with you in about ninety minutes. Is that okay?"
"Yeah."
"How's Jim?"
"His right leg is injured and looks pretty bad, but as far as I can determine none of his injuries is life threatening. But hurry up, he lost a lot of blood."
"Okay, I'll do my best. Good bye."
"Bye."
Blair pressed the "End" button on his handy and turned around to his friend. "When will they arrive here?" It was hard for Jim to keep his eyes open and he hoped that help would be here soon. He wanted to let the blackness take over, but he knew that he had to stay awake.
"They will be here in about one and a half hour. They can't get here any sooner because of the weather."
"Great."
"We'll get through it. Are you in a lot of pain?"
"My leg hurts like hell."
"Keep the pain dial down."
"I already tried it, but I just can't concentrate on it."
"Okay. You know the procedure. Close your eyes." Blair talked in his "Guide voice" - that's what Jim calls it - to soothe his friend. "Concentrate solely on my voice. Now imagine the dial - can you see it?" Jim nodded.
"Okay. Now dial it down, slowly. 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1. Good. Open your eyes again, Big Guy. How is it?"
A grateful smile appeared on Jim's face. "Better. I can stand it, now."
Silently, they sat side by side for the next few minutes and looked at the dark, starless sky. As Blair's gaze caught his sentinel's face, he saw, that Jim had his eyes closed.
"Jim! You have to stay awake!" Gently, Blair shook his friend's shoulders. Slowly, Jim opened his eyes. It seemed as if his eyelids weighed a ton.
"I'm so tired, I can't keep my eyes open" Jim murmured.
"Come on. Sing!"
"What?"
"Sing." Blair inhaled deeply, and began. "Row, row, row your boat." With a challenging gaze he indicated Jim to join. "Gently down the sea..."
"Bair, this is stupid."
"No, you've got to stay awake and singing is the best way."
"You really believe that, don't you?"
"Now come on, man. Nobody can hear us here! C'mon, Row, row, row your boat..."
Reluctantly, Jim joined the singing of his guide. The young man was right. He had to stay conscious, no matter how. After they sang the song many times - Jim stopped counting at five - the sentinel felt strong enough again to stay awake for the next thirty minutes.
"Jim, you need to drink something."
Blair held up a thermos flask.
"What's in it?"
"Just herbal tea, it will warm you up."
Thankfully, Jim took the cup and drank a bit of it. With a deep sigh he let the soothing drink run down his throat.
"That's good. And now tell me, what you did all the time without me. Is the loft still habitable?"
"Well, it seems like you have to spend some days at Cascade General. Enough time for me to clean the mess up."
"I will inspect every square millimeter with a magnifying glass."
"As if you'd need one." Blair muttered. Though he spoke this last sentence very, he was sure that Jim had heard him. Silently, Blair poured himself a cup of tea and looked at Jim. He was even paler than he was a few minutes before and he could now see some drops of sweat on Jim's face.
Blair almost panicked, but he soothed calmed himself with the assuring thought that help was coming soon. He decided to distract his friend with some small talk.
"You catch any fish?" He wanted to know from Jim.
"Yeah. A pretty big one. But the evidence blew up together with the helicopter."
"What a pity." Blair answered with some feigned interest in his voice. "How big was this fish supposed to be?"
"Well... at least that big." Jim gestured with his hands - indicating a fish that was about one meter long.
"Yeah, in your dreams."
"You saying I'm not telling you the truth here?"
Blair noticed that Jim was in danger of drifting off again. Damnit. You have to keep him awake. He knew, that for a Sentinel the voice of his Guide was some kind of anchor. An anchor in reality. If he talked to Jim, his friend would stay awake as long as possible.
"Jim. You wanna know what happened while you were away?"
"What?" Jim's voice was weak.
"First, Megan had the pleasure of getting to know Simon's "friendly" nature as she investigated alone - without his knowledge. Man, he was really pissed. And Rafe and Brown just didn't let me have any peace. They thought, as long as you're not there, they could have their "fun" with me. So I became their victim of choice of attacks with paperballs. Then they ragged on me about my hair, my clothes and the fact that I haven't been out on a date since you left..."
Satisfied, Jim listened to the soothing sound of Blair's voice. Though he didn't really noticed what exactly his friend was saying, the sound was really calming. He didn't know why, but somehow Blair's voice and touch were able to keep him in reality - bringing him back from wherever he was. He knew as long as Blair was with him, he was safe.
After a while, Sandburg was still talking about some holy rituals of some South American cultures. But there was another sound - a sound he knew very well. The SAR helicopter. Rescue.
"Chief... Help is coming."
Finally. Finally he let the unconsciousness overwhelm him. Help would be here in a few minutes.
~~~~~
"Jim! Jim, wake up, man."
Where am I? Slowly he gained consciousness again and the smell told him that he was in a hospital. The next thing he was aware of was somebody at his side. Someone holding his hand. Blair. Hesitating, he opened his eyes and looked directly into the bright blue eyes of his friend.
"How are you feeling, Jim?"
"As if I set my car against a wall. What did the doctor say?"
"Your leg was broken pretty badly, compound fracture. But it will be all right - provided that you follow closely the doctor's orders. On top of that a concussion, a couple of cracked ribs and some deep cuts."
"How long have I been unconscious?"
"Three days. You suffered from blood loss and the beginning of blood poisoning. Man, you really had us worried, Jim. But now you're through the worst of it."
"Good. When will I be released?" He hated hospitals and never stayed longer than necessary.
"It's your choice. Either you stay two to three weeks or you leave the hospital in three to four days in a wheelchair, until you can walk around on crutches. But the doc says you have to stay off that leg for 8 weeks. Only walk around when it's really necessary."
"Great. Does this mean that I have to spend two months in the loft? 24/7?"
"Yeah, that's what the doctor said. And of course I'll be there with you, man."
"That's what I'm afraid of." Jim gave Blair a wide smile. His friend had saved his life - no one knows what would have happened if it hadn't been for Blair. Now he felt it stronger than ever before - Blair was not only his friend, no, somehow his Guide always knew where he was. And even if Jim was alone and injured somewhere in the forest, he felt - no he knew - that Blair would search for and find him. He knew only one word that would describe their partnership: Soulmates.
"Blair, do you know the story from ancient times when two people were one, but the deities decided to tear them apart and since then everybody is looking for his 'other half'. Some can find it. And I think I can consider myself lucky, that I found my soulmate."
Wow, never before has he said something this nice to me. "Thanks." Though I want to, I can't say anything more, now. At that moment Jim assumed his "mask and I can see in his eyes that he's serious about it. I'd like to look forever in those blue eyes of my friend.
"Simon's coming."
"What?"
This sudden interruption tore me out of my thoughts.
"Simon. He's on his way. Did he talk to you?"
"Yeah, of course. He was too worried about you to scold at me."
"Than you must have been really lucky."
Simon was just about to knock on the door to Jim's hospital room, as a well-known voice called, "Come in, Simon." He would never get used to the fact that his best detective - and Sentinel of Cascade - already knew who was at the door, before he even knocked. But it felt good to know that Jim finally gained consciousness, after three long days. With a smile he opened the door.
"Good morning Jim. Sandburg."
"Hi, Captain."
"Jim, how are you?"
"I'll survive it. Although I really don't know what to do with myself for the next two months"
"If that's our only worry, there's a huge pile of paperwork waiting for you..."
"Good. Give it Sandburg, I'm sure he'll be glad to do it."
" Speaking of the devil..Sandburg! I want to talk with you!"
Simon wore his most 'annoyed' face.
"Oh man, that's what I was afraid of. Should we go outside?"
"No. I think I want to listen to this."
Jim sat attentively on his bed and looked expectantly at the two men standing on opposite sides of his bed.
"That's what I thought." Simon answered. "Now, Sandburg, I can't deny that you saved Jim's life, or at least saved him from more damage. But if you do something like this again, I WILL use you for a punching bag. You should have told me - or at least called SAR. I won't tolerate this kind of thing in the future. Understood?"
With each sentence, Simon's voice got louder. Blair was really wondering why no nurse had come into the room, attracted by the noise.
"Yes, Sir."
"Good. So, when can you leave the hospital, Jim?"
"I've got to choose whether I leave it in three days in a wheelchair or in three weeks on crutches. I think I'll take the wheelchair."
"Yeah. That would be a wonderful picture." Simon grinned at the image. "Sorry, but I have to go now. There's a lot of work waiting for me. Good bye and get some rest, Jim." Heading for the door, Banks wondered if he had been took hard on Sandburg. Nah, the boy really should have called me. A little dressing down won't hurt him.
"I really thought he would attack me..." After Simon left the room, Blair sank down at a chair next to the bed, obviously relieved.
"See, I told you that he would be very angry at you, Chief."
"Yeah, that's what you said."
Jim saw the dark rings beneath Blair's eyes and decided that his Guide needed some rest. "Chief, I'm ordering you to go home and sleep a few hours."
"Okay, I'm on my way. See you tonight, Jim."
"No. I don't want to see you here before morning. You need some rest. Sleep."
"Guess I have to obey, right?"
"Yeah. See you tomorrow." Jim said, emphasizing the word tomorrow. With a smile he leaned back and watched Blair walking out the door.
He doubted that Blair would really sleep tonight. Probably, Blair would spend the whole night studying books and tomorrow he would be as tired as he was today. Sometimes he wondered, where his friend got his stamina and energy from.
Deep inside, he knew it. Both of them were connected in some way and every time one of them was injured, the other would feel bad, too. Jim knew that he would never understand what was going on between he and Blair. But it didn't matter. The only thing that counted was that this strong feeling of friendship and was there.
~~~~~
Epilogue
"Great! Why does this have to happen today?"
Angrily, Blair looked at the placard on the elevator, saying: 'Out of order'. How were they supposed to get Jim upstairs? It was impossible for him to walk and Blair and Simon couldn't carry him up 3 flights of stairs.
"You've got any idea how we should get you up to the loft?" He asked his silent friend who was sitting in a wheelchair.
"Well, I could try to hobble upstairs."
"No way. You know what the doctors said."
"Yeah. So what do we do? You two can't carry me upstairs."
"Not alone, but I've got an idea." Captain Banks said. He took his cell phone out of his pocket and made some calls.
A few minutes later, Rafe, Brown and Joel showed up.
"Hi Captain." They greeted. "We've heard you could use some help here."
"Yeah. You've got to help us to lift Jim out of his wheelchair and carry him upstairs to the loft."
"Of course we'll help you." Rafe said.
Together, the five men grabbed Jim and carried him upstairs. Wordless, the Sentinel let this happen. He knew he wouldn't have made it alone. Somehow Blair managed to unlock the door and they laid Jim down on the sofa. Simon went downstairs again to get the wheelchair.
"The next time I'd appreciate a little softer treatment, guys." He complained about the pretty bumpy ride
"First we help you and then you complain about it? The next time you can try to make it upstairs at your own." Brown tried to sound insulted.
"You better go now, he needs rest." Blair pushed the three guys out the door, took the wheelchair out of Simon's hands and closed the door. Smiling, he imagined Simon's shocked face as the door was closed right in front of him.
"What's so funny, Chief?"
"Simon. Can you imagine his face right now? Something like this." He mimicked the typical expression on Simon's face pretty good and Jim couldn't help himself - he had to laugh, but regretted this action soon, as his ribs began to ache.
"Don't make me laugh, Blair. Help me up to my room."
"No way. You take my room or sleep on the couch, but you won't be climbing any stairs."
"Great. Then I take the couch. couldn't sleep with those tribal masks staring down at me in your room."
"Okay. I get your sheets and comforter already down here. I think in the next three weeks you won't have any choice but lie here and let ME play mother hen for once. I don't think you're going to run away. This could be a LOT of fun!"
With a roguish grin on his lips Blair took the stairs to Jim's room and easily ducked the thrown sofa pillow...
THE END
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