Of Fact and Fiction - Chapter Fifteen
by Angel Eternal aka Angeline
email: spikes_angel01@yahoo.com
URL: http://www.geocities.com/spikes_angel01/index.html
Rating: R
Distribution: At my site "In Dreams and Shadows", "Carnal Sins" and at FF.net but it you want to
archive it go ahead, but just let me know first - I kinda like to know where it's going, and plus I find
out about more S/B shipper sites! g
Author's Notes: Ok, I'm just a tiny bit giddy - but I found out recently that this little fic here has been
nominated for a Watching You award! For three categories if I'm not mistaken! ::scurries off to check::
Yup! Nominated for: Best Series, Best Sex Scene (It's My Bed Award) and Shippers Choice.
Not that I would actually win it, considering who else was nominated (btw I'm rooting for them) - but the
whole nominee thing is enough for me =) I just wanted to thank whoever nominated me - chestful of
naked choc Spikes for you!
And also thank you for all the wonderful reviews! They certainly keep me going! =)
And as for this ending...well still got a couple more chapters to write - so not quite there yet.
Oh more notes - remember way back when, I mentioned that this series is happening after "Intervention"?
Well, we're back to that time again - spoilers for everything in that episode through to the Gift.
Disclaimers: Buffy the Vampire Slayer is owned by Joss Whedon, several companies and God knows who else.
One thing is certain - I don't own any of it! Nothing - zip - nada!
She lunged at him.
Spike was knocked backwards in sheer surprise, for a full minute his brain refused to function as the blonde
Slayer pummelled into his defenceless body.
Still without thinking, Spike threw her off, but the second he did so, a searing pain ripped through him. With a
hiss of pain, he clutched his head, the capacity for thought being robbed from him once again.
Buffy muffled her own hiss of pain, as she lightly rolled to her feet.
She glared down at the vampire, refusing to acknowledge the twinge of sympathy in her heart.
The horrifying truth dawned on him.
She was lost to him.
Spike looked up. Buffy was standing above him, so tantalisingly close. All he had to do was reach out and...
Have the most horrific beating of his entire existence. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, trying desperately
to stop the tears from flowing. He had done it. Buffy was safe, alive and back in her world, while he...
Buffy stumbled back, as she looked into his ice blue eyes. The depth of pain that she saw in those orbs had a profound
effect on her. It shouldn't have affected her like that, but it did. Why did she care that Spike, soulless vampire, demonic
killer, monster, was hurting? Why did she want to reach out and caress his face and...
Bad Buffy! She was appalled at the way her thoughts were turning. She had told herself a long time ago to stop
fantasising about the vampire. It had to stop. It was dangerous. It was wrong.
With a cold glare, she spun on her heels and left Spike sitting in the dust, unwilling to acknowledge his suffering.
* * *
Angel slipped out of the Magick Shop.
He had seen it happen, and he didn't know what the implications were, he had mumbled some excuse. Muttering
something about the Apocalypse and hell gods. He had watched Xander's face light up with a smug grin as he
calmly informed him that 'they knew all that and everything was under control'. Angel had pleaded with them not
to tell Buffy that he had come. He didn't think he could handle dealing with the Slayer.
* * *
"Hey guys! Did I miss anything?" Buffy bounced into the Magic Shop, happy at the thought of going home and
sleeping.
"Aside from getting our eyes singed? Missed nothing at all!" Xander chirped up happily.
Willow blushed, "Well...you see...I..."
Tara hugged her girlfriend, "It's alright honey, he's just teasing."
Willow fell back into Tara's arms, still muttering, while Xander chuckled good-naturedly.
Dawn frowned, something felt off, she really couldn't explain it, but it was seriously bugging her.
Buffy crossed over to Giles, "Dusted only eight vamps - one got away."
Giles' eyebrow shot up in surprise, Buffy hadn't allowed a vampire to get away from her since she first
started. "One?"
Buffy frowned, "Yeah."
Anya smiled mischievously, "Did he happen to have peroxide blonde hair, piercing blue eyes and a drool-worthy
body???"
"Anya!" Xander stared at his girlfriend in abject horror.
Anya suddenly seemed to realise that Xander was still around, she instantly threw herself into his arms, "Oh don't
worry muffin! He won't ever be my orgasm friend!"
Xander continued to mutter, allowing Anya to...'soothe' his injured pride.
Buffy rolled her eyes, avoiding looking Giles in the eye. "Anyway people, we gotta go now - Dawn needs to hit
the books and all that."
Dawn rolled her eyes, "Literally."
She still couldn't shake off the feeling of uneasiness, but shrugged, as there was nothing she could do about it.
* * *
Spike watched her until she disappeared from sight, and still continued to sit there even though she had walked away
a long time ago.
The feeling of loss was so acute.
He remembered everything that happened before...
He had come so far since then - they had. Now all of that was gone - wiped away as if it never happened. Except he
knew it did. He had held her, he had loved her and most amazing of all - she had loved him back.
Spike wanted to simply crumble into dust, he wanted...
Before he could finish that thought, someone had hauled him upwards and slammed him into a wall. In the deep recess
of his mind, he realised that the it was the wall of his own crypt. Spike didn't put up a fight, and allowed the name
assailant to do whatever he wanted with his useless carcass. It suddenly struck him that his body was bruised all
over as if...
As if that bint had tore into his body mere days ago. Spike groaned mentally. These aches and pains had disappeared
over the time he spent in that other world. Now his body had yet to heal from the beating he took, and was again
being beaten up. Spike the Punching Bag indeed.
"Spike!"
The deep rumbling voice penetrated through the haze on his mind. Groggily he looked up, "Poof."
Angel rolled his eyes, and dragged Spike's dead weight into the crypt.
Unceremoniously, he dumped Spike into a chair, and glared down at him.
Angel still had no idea what had happened. He didn't even know what he was doing. It was unreasonable. Spike probably
had no recollection of what had transpired, and that was perhaps for the best. But something was nagging him - and
Angel took the risk of seeing Spike.
Spike looked up at his grand-sire, and wished he didn't. Angel stared at him with contempt and loathing - as he always did.
Spike started to look around for his flask, then it hit him. There was something else in Angel's gaze, and Spike refused
to look at him again to confirm his suspicion. Besides, that one look had been enough. Angel knew.
Spike didn't want to analyse the whys and wherefores. He simply didn't care.
With a little sigh of relief, he spotted his flask of whiskey. He started to reach for it, but Angel saw what he was doing
and kicked it away.
"Oh no - I'm going to talk to you, and I would prefer if you were understandable."
Spike snorted, and settled into his well-worn chair, looking everywhere but at the Poof.
Angel sighed; he pulled up another chair, and settled into it. He leaned forward, eyes focused on Spike.
"What happened?"
Spike snorted again, eyeing the silver flask that lay just out of his reach. He contemplated just sitting there in utter silence,
then remembered Angel's tenacious nature. "What else mate? The girl always gets away from this old boy."
Angel ignored the edge of sarcasm in Spike's rich voice. "No one remembers a thing you know."
This piece of information had Spike jerking upwards, "What? How would they...how do you..."
Angel sighed, and quickly explained about the book.
Spike's eyes widened, "So you're saying that they knew everything we did?"
Angel nodded mutely, knowing what Spike referred to.
At this confirmation, Spike burst out laughing, "Oh man! What I would've given to see the Whelp's face!"
He collapsed back into the chair, laughter rolling from his mouth - laughter with a tinge of hysteria in it's tones.
Angel waited patiently for the laughter to stop; the laughter progressed to giggles, disintegrating to sobs.
It was the tears that did it. Angel had come with every intention of beating Spike into a bloody pulp for daring to
touch her. Angel had left her so she could have some semblance of a normal life. Now he had to deal with this
and he was completely thrown.
Angel sat back, unsure what to feel as he watched Drusilla's Childe cry. Spike cried - harsh sobs ripped from the very
depths of his being. Angel felt inadequate.
In his opinion, he always thought that Spike felt too much. Events had always had a profound effect on this
particular vampire. Angelus had always scoffed at Spike's exuberance, always seeing him as a two-year old.
And now, Angel feared that Spike would end his life.
He saw the desperation and sheer despair in the younger vampire, and mourned with him - even if Spike would never
accept.
"How does it feel?" the words came out from Spike's constricted throat.
"How does what feel?"
"Loving her and never being able to have her." Spike looked up, and Angel was stunned at the profound well of
pain expressed in his eyes. "Doing the right thing bloody sucks you know that? I'm not meant to be the bloody
hero - we've got you for that - you even threw in the whole brooding thing for free!" Spike chuckled weakly.
"I'm just not cut out for it mate...just not!"
Angel sighed, "Yeah you're not."
Spike glared at him, but remained silent.
Angel continued, "Look, I don't understand what happened, and I don't understand why I have the misfortune
of remembering..."
Spike muttered something, and when Angel pressed, he said loudly, "Kage."
The name sent a shiver coursing through Angel's body; he repeated it slowly, rolling it out - testing it on his own
tongue.
Spike rolled his eyes, "Yeah - guy's got a pretty twisted sense of humour...must come with the territory and all
that."
"Territory?"
Spike itched to just hit him - but he lacked the energy and the motivation. "Yeah - lord of darkness and all that.
Course he wasn't The Man or anything like that."
Angel frowned, and filed the information away for later. "Spike..."
"Yeah?"
Angel heard the weariness in his voice, "She may not remember a thing - but you do."
Spike searched his face, not knowing how take that statement.
Angel shrugged, "There's really nothing for me to be angry about...at least not yet.
* * *
"Dawn! Are you in bed yet?"
Dawn rolled her eyes, "I'm not a little kid you know Buffy!"
Buffy poked her head through the door, "Look, I kinda remember that I had bed-times, and you have bed-times
and..." she glanced at the clock, "It's past yours!"
Dawn sighed, "Yeah, yeah! Let me just finish brushing my hair!"
Buffy stared at her, and Dawn picked up her brush slowly, and slowly pulled it through the long strands. Buffy's
eyes narrowed, before her head retreated.
Dawn sighed again, and laid the brush down. She picked up her bag, and a book slipped out.
She picked it up, remembering that it belonged to Willow. She made a mental note to return it to the witch the
next day, chuckling at the thought of Willow reading trashy romance novels. Dawn stared at the cover, for a moment
she thought of running in and showing Buffy, but then thought better of it. She knew her sister wouldn't appreciate the
observation that the couple passionately entwined on the cover looked a lot like her and Spike.