Of Fact and Fiction - Chapter Sixteen
by Angel Eternal aka Angeline
email: spikes_angel01@yahoo.com
URL: http://www.geocities.com/spikes_angel01/index.html
Rating: R
Author's Notes: This is set during "Spiral", "Weight of the World" and "The Gift" - major spoilers for these three
episodes, though I'm thinking the majority of you have watched these already.
Also the parts in italics indicates flashbacks.
Distribution: At my site "In Dreams and Shadows", "Carnal Sins" and at FF.net but
if you want to
archive it go ahead, but just let me know first - I kinda like to know where it's going, and plus I find
out about more S/B shipper sites! g>
Disclaimers: Buffy the Vampire Slayer is owned by Joss Whedon, several companies and God knows who else.
One thing is certain - I don't own any of it! Nothing - zip - nada!
Several days had passed, and Spike had thought never to feel such torment. Everything had gone back to what it was
before. He was madly in love with the Slayer and she could barely tolerate the sight of him. Every time he saw her, his
stomach would flip over, and the pain of not being able to hold her tore him up.
Spike remembered her expression when she came to him the other day. Her face twisted, as she asked him to take
care of Dawn. He knew that she hated to ask him, but she was backed into a corner and was helpless. His mind
flicked back to when she had asked him to take care of her sister and her mother. This time he had said nothing. No
taunts, no demands.
He was finding it hard to slip back to that time - the time when he would have snapped some comment. Spike
could see that she had completely slipped from his grasp. Her mind was focused on the coming Apocalypse. There
was nothing from him to do now, but just ride it out, hoping for the best.
The door of his crypt slammed open, Spike hissed with pain as sunlight struck his outstretched hand.
"Bloody hell woman!"
The very object of his tortured thoughts strode in, brisk and businesslike. Spike found himself longing to see her
once more in some utterly feminine gown. Then he shook his head deliberately. He had to constantly remind himself
that it never happened. It was less painful that way.
"Spike you have to help..."
Spike rolled his eyes, "What now?"
He was about to go on, when he noticed her face. "What is it Buffy-love?"
Buffy frowned, for a moment distracted by what he called her. Why did she feel that she heard him call her that
before? But it couldn't be. Spike rarely called her by her name.
Spike was mentally cursing himself for letting it slip.
Buffy shook her head lightly, now was not the time. "She knows Spike."
It took a moment for that piece of information to sink in, and when it did the implications left him breathless.
"Buffy..."
Buffy staggered backwards, uncomfortable with what she saw in his eyes. She wanted to wave aside his concern,
but didn't know how. "We gotta get out of here...we..."
She took a deep breath to calm herself down, and not for the first time, wished that she could just crumble into
Spike's arms and draw comfort from him. "Transportation...we need..."
"That's easy love - me, you and the Nibblet and the Desoto..."
Buffy frowned, "No - we take everyone. I'm not leaving anyone behind."
He saw the steely determination in her eyes, and decided not to push it. The image of the three of them driving
off into the sunset shattered.
"Right pet - we're not leaving anyone behind..." he paused, he couldn't help himself. "Well what about the whelp..."
She glared at him, and promptly dropped the subject.
"Come on - grab your blanket. We leave now."
* * *
"Come on luv! I'm burning up under here in case you hadn't noticed!"
Buffy ignored Spike's whinging, carefully assessing the vehicles. She knew what she wanted.
Spike longingly at a black Porsche. Buffy caught him staring and merely raised one eyebrow. Spike sighed, and
walked on, unable to cast one last glance at the Porsche.
"It's calling me luv."
Buffy ignored him, shaking her head, then she saw it.
"There! It's perfect!"
Spike peered over her shoulder, "Oh bloody hell! You must be kidding!"
Buffy shook her head, and strode resolutely forward, once more ignoring Spike's muttered comments.
* * *
The door of the Winnebago banged open. Spike winced; he wasn't relishing this. He reminded himself that he had
swore that he would do anything for Buffy - even put up with the whelp and the Watcher.
"What's he doing here?"
Spike sighed inwardly, and turned in his seat, glad for the black goggles that he had to wear. This way, he didn't
really have to look at them, and see the disgust in their eyes. "Just out for a jaunt. Thought I'd swing by and say
howdy."
Giles glared at him, wondering what in God's name possessed Buffy to bring along the infernal vampire. "Out."
Buffy, who had been silent until now, looked up. "He's here because we need him."
Spike's chest lifted with pride, she needed him.
Xander, who had been glaring at Spike, now spoke up. "The hell we do."
Buffy sighed. She really didn't have the patience to deal with this. "If Glory finds us, he's the only one besides me that
has any chance of protecting Dawn."
"Buffy, come on..."
Her patience snapped. "Look, this isn't a discussion! He stays. Get over it."
Buffy grabbed a map, and strode to the back; her fury causing her to slam the door.
Spike couldn't help himself, he felt the grin stretching his lips. Buffy needed him.
"Buckle up, kids. Daddy's puttin' the hammer down."
* * *
Never again did he want a repeat performance of that harrowing ride.
His hands had never been so abused...well there was that one time with Dru...he shook his head.
First the blonde witch had singed his hand. This was the first time that Spike had seen what the hell-bitch
had done to Red's lover. His respect and admiration for the red-haired witch grew in leaps and bounds. Seeing how
she handled the situation, had made Spike realise the gravity of the situation, and finally Spike pushed thoughts of
that other time and place out of his mind. Now was not the time - it may never be the time.
Now his hands had been reduced to bloody strips as he had held onto that sword, instinct driving him.
Spike sighed, and pulled out his cigarettes. He badly needed to feel the smoke moving through his dead veins -
making him feel alive again.
He mentally cursed as he fumbled with his lighter, the bottom of the lighter jabbing into his bandaged hands.
"Ow."
He shook his head, pain and annoyance building into anger, but before he could throw away the lighter in anger,
the whelp walked over to his side. Spike looked up, wary. He was certain that the whelp had found his perfect
moment to ridicule him...
Xander took the lighter and lit it, holding it out to Spike silently.
Spike sighed, muttering his appreciation.
The smoke swirled into his dead lungs, and he sucked it in with vicious appreciation.
"You know, those things'll kill you."
Spike looked up, trying to hide his amusement behind a facade of annoyance.
"Oh. Right."
Spike wanted to chuckle at Xander's disconcerted expression, but refrained from saying anything.
"I mention today how much I don't like you?"
Spike grinned internally; outwardly he nods casually. "You mighta let it slip in ..." he glances at Xander. "Once or
twice."
Spike saw the small smile, and was at a loss. Nothing like your world collapsing around you to form friendships.
"How're your feelers?"
Spike sighed, quickly glancing around to make sure that Buffy wasn't in hearing distance. "Nothing compared to the
little bits we're gonna get chopped into when the Renaissance Faire kicks the door in." he gestures to the door,
drawing Xander's attention to it. "And here we bloody sit."
Xander sighed dejectedly, "It's not like we got much of a choice."
"Could make a break for it!" Spike began to warm up to the idea. "Use General Armour-All as a shield, get to the doc's car, and..."
Xander interrupted him. "Great plan. And while all the hacking and slashing's going on, what are you gonna be doing,
huh? Throwing migraines at 'em?"
Spike was irritated at the reminder of his helplessness. "Look, we stay here, we all die! At least this way, some of us
might get..."
"No."
They spun around, to see Buffy standing in the doorway.
Spike felt a stab of guilt, he knew what all these people meant to her, but this waiting was driving him nuts.
"We're all gonna make it. I'm not losing anyone."
* * *
Everything exploded as Glory surged forward, dragging a screaming Dawn.
Spike had been knocked into Xander, groaning, he surged to his feet. He had become to know Glory's fist too
intimately for his taste.
He ran out, acutely aware of the Scoobies following him closely. His steps faltered as the scent of blood in the air
reached him. Before his eyes saw, he knew. Glory had come, and left in a blaze of death.
Refusing to just stand there, Spike pointed to the car, ready to follow the bitch.
He and Xander reached the car, and he spun around, expecting to see the Slayer close on his heels. He was shocked
to see her kneeling on the ground, tears streaming down her face.
"Do it Spike. I want it to end...Death is my gift Spike, and I'm through giving it."
Spike shook his head. He had seen that empty look in her eyes before, saw that she had given up. He ran back
the way he had come, calling her name.
* * *
"Oi! Rise and shine luv!"
Spike wanted to shake her again, but knew it was fast becoming useless.
He stared into her vacant eyes; he would've given anything to hold her as he had before. But knew he couldn't...
The witch was planning again, but Spike was too preoccupied to care.
* * *
Willow sat on the bed. If Tara had been...normal...she would've protested strenuously to what she was doing right
now. But Willow had run out of options.
She closed her eyes.
When she opened them again, she was in a brightly lit room; she blinks in confusion. Willow looks around, taking
note of all the flowers in the room.
"Hi Willow."
Willow turns and smiles, "Hello Buffy."
* * *
Willow's headache was worsening. She stood back, watching the vicious cycle for what had to be the fifth time.
The little girl ran up to her mother and father, gazing at her new little sister. Willow listened with a sick feeling in her
stomach, as the young version of Buffy begged her mother to take care of baby Dawn.
Then Buffy was putting a book back on the shelf, pausing for a moment. Willow's confusion was growing by leaps
and bounds.
In a flash, they were in the desert, Willow shuddered lightly, she hated seeing the First Slayer - still hadn't gotten
over the whole killing in the dreams thing.
Willow sighed, as she followed Buffy to Joyce's grave, and watched in sick fascination as the Slayer suffocated her
sister.
Then in a flash they were back at the beginning.
Willow had been unsuccessfully trying to grab Buffy's attention - and then...
Willow stopped, and stared, unsure what she was seeing. The moment passed quickly and the cycle resumed.
This time, Willow waited patiently, something about what she had seen had stirred something within her.
There...Willow wanted to grab the remote control to Buffy's subconscious, and freeze the moment.
Spike was holding Buffy's hand, his thumb gently stroking Buffy's hand. Spike was wearing old-fashioned clothing,
Willow had never thought to see the blonde vampire in tights, but she didn't have the time to appreciate the view.
Willow grabbed this Buffy's other hand, "Buffy!"
Buffy's head snapped up, "Willow?"
"What is this?" she waved her hands frantically.
Buffy stepped back from Spike, looking at him, "I...I...I don't know..."
"When did this happen Buffy?" Somehow, Willow knew that this, seemingly unimportant scene was key to what was
troubling the Slayer.
Buffy frowned, genuinely distressed. "I don't know Willow."
They both stepped back, and everything around them flashed. Willow grabbed this Buffy's hand tight, not wanting
to lose her.
They were outside, and it was dark. Both Buffy and Willow looked around, confused. Then in the distance, something
caught Willow's attention.
As she watched the figures became shockingly clear.
It was Spike and Buffy, and this time, both of them were dressed in old-fashioned clothing. Buffy wore a gown
of brilliant sapphire, and she held Spike's hand.
Willow glanced at her Buffy's face, and noted the shocked expression on her face.
Another flash. Willow looked around, still gripping her Buffy's hand. She immediately spotted Spike and Buffy.
They were dressed the same as before, and it was a scene that Willow had witnessed often. They were arguing.
Willow felt more comfortable with a scene such as this, she and her Buffy watched intently as the two argued.
Spike spun on his heel, and Buffy's hand reached out to grab his.
Both Willow and her Buffy gasped, as the other Buffy grabbed Spike's neck and pulled him down for a vicious kiss.
"Holy Mother of Christ!"
The Scoobies turned; Xander had flung the book across the room, and was now
standing on the chair, staring at it aghast.
Willow bent to retrieve it, "Xand..."
"Don't touch it! Oh God - that isn't Buffy - she is not doing that!" Xander panted
frantically, his eyes wide. Anya tried to calm him down, but he refused to let her
touch him.
Hurt, Anya drew back, staring at Xander, uncomprehending.
Confused, Willow opened the book and read. She gasped. "Oh God..."
Willow's eyes snapped open, mouth dropping. She stared at the couple before them, her head felt clammy. Why
hadn't she noticed it before?
The Buffy that stood by her side, stared, her own eyes wide.
The scene before them changed once more, this time, instead of the violent flash, the scene before them slowly
melted away, revealing another beneath it.
Buffy's body shook, as she watched.
Spike was seated at the piano, fingers dancing over the keys. The music changed again, this time
effortlessly slipping into a soft romantic song, every note was filled with sweetness and longing.
And her heart found what it had been looking for.
Buffy's feet led her to his side. The music softened even more, she watched his fingers caressing
the keys, and her stomach clenched as she imagined those fingers dancing effortlessly
on her body.
"They say..."
She was startled when he started to speak, but she stilled her racing heart, and listened.
"...that love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules." He looked up, and
she was caught up in his eyes, his eyes which held her captive just as surely as any steel chains.
"Then you must forget the rules and play from the heart..."
Willow and Buffy's eyes met.
* * *
Buffy gasped as her eyes snapped open. "Willow!"
Willow took her time in opening her eyes. Finally, when her eyes opened, she could do nothing but stare at her
best friend.
Buffy's head whirled. She was so confused.
Willow shook her head lightly, trying to clear the heaviness she felt. Why didn't she notice it before? This heavy,
oppressiveness - weighing down on her mind.
They stared at each other for a full minute, before Buffy stood. "Later."
Willow nodded slowly, still staring at Buffy.
* * *
She was furious. How dare he suggest such a thing to her.
Buffy had been shocked when Giles had suggested the most unthinkable thing.
Spike followed her, he could almost feel the tension rolling off her shoulders in palpable waves.
She strode into her house, her determined strides not faltering.
"Uh, Buffy... "
Spike sighed inwardly, he waved his hand in front of him, indicating the barier. Buffy frowned at him,
and he sighed. "If you wanna just hand them over the threshold, I'll..."
Then it clicked. "Come in, Spike."
That he didn't expect. Slowly, as if not willing to believe, Spike stepped forward.
A smile lit up his face, and Buffy's heart clenched - she had seen that smile before...or not...
"Hmm." Spike murmured appreciatively. "Presto. No barrier."
Buffy stares at him, wondering if she should say something, then Spike abruptly broke the eye contact, and
strode purposefully into the living room.
"Um, won't bother with the small stuff. Couple of good axes should hold off Glory's mates while you take on the lady
herself." He needed to be in action, not wanting to stop and allow himself to think.
But obviously she had other things planned.
"We're not all gonna make it. You know that."
Spike looks up at her, not knowing what else to say, he simply said, "Yeah."
He grabbed a couple of weapons, and walked over to her side, "Hey. Always knew I'd go down fightin'."
He was desperate to lighten the mood, but once again, Buffy had other things on her mind.
"I'm counting on you ... to protect her."
Spike finally turned serious, as he stared into her eyes, 'Till the end of the world. Even if that happens to be tonight."
"I'll be a minute."
"Yeah."
She turns and proceeds up the stairs, Spike felt he had to say something...anything...it may be his last chance.
"I know you'll never love me." At least, he thought to himself, not in this lifetime.
She paused, and turns back to face him, something in her face, made him press on. "I know that I'm a monster. But
you treat me like a man. And that's..."
Spike forced himself to stop. Get over it mate - that time...it's done.
Buffy gazed down at him, unsure what to say.
"Get your stuff, I'll be here."
She paused for a moment, before continuing up the stairs.
Buffy was a wreck - she didn't know what she should do. She and Willow had not talked about what had happened,
and she didn't know if she would be able to.
But then Buffy, steeled herself - she had to do this now, she didn't have the time to waste...
She walked into Dawn's room, she went to Dawn's bed, and turned the covers down. She had to reassure herself
that she was getting her sister back, and when she did, she'd want to sleep and she would...
Buffy's troubled mind stilled as her gaze fell on a book on Dawn's bedside table.
Slowly she picked it up. She stared at the cover. Slowly she sat down.
"Pink Slayer? Why do I suddenly think of fluffy bunnies?"
Buffy jumped a little, as she felt his breath tickle her ear. "Bunnies Spike? I
have no intention of scaring Anya."
Buffy flipped through the pages some more.
The door opened slowly, cautiously, as if the person opening it was unsure if she wanted to let
anyone in.
Danica peered around the frame, her eyes seeking the large eyes of the one known as Buffy.
Buffy's eyes widened, "Danica!"
Spike felt numb, what was she saying? "Well pet, in this case, I would like a little something.
I begged you for a crumb..." he paused to think. "Alright I got more then a crumb - I got a
whole slice. But Buffy, I want the loaf."
Buffy blinked, amusement dancing in her eyes, "What's with the bread metaphors?"
"Buffy..."
"Oh God Spike!" All the frustration, fear and rage that had been bottled up in her rushed out of her in one sob.
Buffy hated to cry, especially in front of Spike, but even though her pride protested, the tears won out.
Buffy sniffed, wiping her face quickly in her embarrassment. "I'm sorry, I just..."
Soothingly, Spike hushed away her protests, cradling her in his arms, giving her the support that she needed.
She turned in his embrace, "You gotta know right?"
"What do I know luv?"
Buffy blew out a breath of frustration, her temper flaring briefly, "Spike!"
"Say it Buffy."
She couldn't refuse the plea in his voice, who could? "I love you."
Spike stared at her stunned. He had known what she was going to say, but the effect those three little words had on
him was indescribable.
Buffy stared at him, fidgeting, "Aren't you going to say something?"
Technically, Spike had professed his love for the Slayer before, but now she waited, anticipation and fear of rejection,
making her unable to find a comfortable spot to stand in.
He saw this, and it drew out a tender smile, he pulled her in for a fierce kiss, and Buffy was once more lost to the world
as her senses were assaulted.
She shivered as he leaned close to whisper in her delicate ear. "Always and forever Buffy-love. Until the day I crumble to
dust, I would always love you."
Buffy dropped the book. Her eyes closed, before it had been snatches here and there of what seemed to be
memories. But now it had changed - it was different. Now she knew.
Buffy's arms wrapped around her stomach, she felt physically ill. She wanted so badly to just curl up into a ball,
and wait for all of this to end. She simply couldn't deal with it, she didn't want to deal with it.
But Spike...
No, nothing has changed, at least not yet. Buffy could never forget that her sister's life was still in jeopardy. Forcefully,
she pushed aside all thoughts of Spike and another world.
She'll deal with it later - everything had to wait until later.