Back To Your Heart
Part 10
It was a normally busy day in the ER and Susan was running around trying to do rounds with Luka
"Guy in 3 needs to go up to CT tell them to hurry he has been waiting all day, guy in 4 needs his head stitched up, guy in 2 is going through heroin withdrawals so better to leave him alone for a while" she said handing his charts
"Okay Susan go home you have been on all day and you don't look to good," he said
"Okay Luka I'm gone out of your hair, have a nice night," she said walking into the lounge. She grabbed her stuff and headed out the door, she was on her way home when she got sick, and decided to head back to the hospital, she got in there and she ran into Kerry
"You okay Susan?" she asked
"Does it look like I'm okay Kerry," she yelled
"Okay why don't we get you into a room and check you out" she said as she helped her into a room. She got Susan into a room and Abby was in there
"Is she okay?" the brown hair nurse asked
"I don't know she looks sick" Kerry said "Why don't we run some tests on her to rule out a couple of things, Ill be right back Susan" Kerry said as she walked out
"You thinking what I'm thinking, she is showing some of the symptoms and I think she was getting sick the other day in the bathroom" Abby said "I had asked her if she was okay she said it was the flu but I doubt it" she said
"Yeah why don't you get a pregnancy test," Kerry said as she walked back to the admit desk. Abby walked back in with a urine cup
"Here why don't you go fill this up so we can run the tests," Abby said as she tossed Susan the cup
"Okay" Susan said as she went into the bathroom and came back with the cup filled
"You should of caught me earlier it would have been a lot fuller" she joked as she gave it back
"Okay I will go give this to the lab and we should have everything back" she said as she walked out handing the cup to Chuny
"Hey Chuny I'm off will you take these up to the lab and put a hurry on them?" she said
"Sure, who are they for?" she asked
"The lady in 4" she said as she ran to catch up with Luka who was also on his way out. Susan waited in the room for what seemed like hours when Kerry showed back up
"Well it looks like my guess was right congratulations Susan," she said looking at her chart
"What?" Susan shocked
"Yep I would guess two weeks along" Kerry said
"Oh my god" Susan said, remembering that time that Carter didn't use a condom
"Well I will keep this to myself and will not tell anyone till you are ready" Kerry said
"Thanks Kerry I owe you one" she said getting dressed
"No problem Susan, now go home and enjoy the rest of the day" she said as she walked out of the room to get back to work
Susan got home, and unlocked the door to find that Carter hadn't returned home yet, "He must be out" she said as she put her stuff down, she sat down and wondered how she was going to tell him, and how can she deal with another kid, she had lost little Suzy and wondered what would happen if something had happened to this one, or if the pregnancy test was wrong she couldn't bare to feel that loss again, she turned the TV on and fell asleep watching it and didn't wake up till Carter got home
"Susan, you home?" Carter said as he walked in putting his stuff down
"Carter do you have to yell I'm right here" she said as she lifted her head up
"Sorry" he said as he gave her a kiss "How was your day?" he asked
"It was normal, busy," she said as she stood up, she felt like telling him but decided to wait until she was right
"Well why don't you go ahead and lay back down and I will go take a shower," he said as he went into the bathroom. He got finished taking a shower and was walking into the kitchen to get a sandwich to eat when he heard some muffled crying, he walked over to see what was wrong "Susan you okay?" he asked
"Nothing John I was just upset about a patient I had today a little girl who lost her parents in a car wreck," she said, as she wiped her face
"Yeah that's tough to have those kind of cases," he said pulling her close
"Yeah its even worse when it happens to someone you love," she said
"What do you mean by that?" he asked
"Well, I've been keeping this to myself and well the reason I came back is because a couple of months before I got here I lost Suzy and Chloe to a car wreck" she said in tears
"Oh my god Susan why didn't you say anything?" he asked shocked
"Well I didn't want it running around the hospital and me looking like a poor victim," she said getting up from the couch
"Susan, you can't keep things like this from everyone" he said walking towards her
"I know John, but its hard to talk about it" she said
"Susan I'm sorry I really wish I had known" he said embracing her. They sat down on the couch "Do you want to tell me how it happened?" he asked
"I don't know John" she said "Its kind of hard to talk about"
"I know it's hard to talk about traumatic experiences but remember what happened to me I shut people out and it drove me to bad things" he said
"John I'm not going to start using drugs I just don't want to talk about it" she said
"Susan please tell me, it will make you feel better to vent," he said
"Okay John, I guess you are not going to let up," she said sitting down in the armchair next to the couch. She sighed "Well it was around Christmas time and we were out shopping looking for something for Joe and I reached back to hand Suzy something and a truck was on the wrong side of the road and I tried to swerve to miss it and he crashed right into me, my airbag went off but it turns out Chloe's seatbelt was really flimsy and it sent her flying through the window and she died on the way to the hospital and Suzy was alive but she died up in surgery" she said now crying her eyes out
"Oh Susan honey I'm so sorry I wish you would of called us and we would have been there for you" he said as he reached out for her hand
"I couldn't I was too crushed and upset and I ended up leaving my attending position there and called here to see if there was a job open" she said
"Susan, you know you have good friends here that will be there for you in whatever happens in your life" he said
"You are a very wonderful woman who I am happy to call my own, you know I love you right?" he asked
"Yes I do John and I'm glad to be here with you now" she said
"Okay well I propose that we go out tonight," he said as he grabbed her by the wrist
"Okay why not" she said. She felt like she had a burden lifted off her chest but she knew that she had one more thing to tell John but that could be saved for a later time
Part 10
It was a normally busy day in the ER and Susan was running around trying to do rounds with Luka
"Guy in 3 needs to go up to CT tell them to hurry he has been waiting all day, guy in 4 needs his head stitched up, guy in 2 is going through heroin withdrawals so better to leave him alone for a while" she said handing his charts
"Okay Susan go home you have been on all day and you don't look to good," he said
"Okay Luka I'm gone out of your hair, have a nice night," she said walking into the lounge. She grabbed her stuff and headed out the door, she was on her way home when she got sick, and decided to head back to the hospital, she got in there and she ran into Kerry
"You okay Susan?" she asked
"Does it look like I'm okay Kerry," she yelled
"Okay why don't we get you into a room and check you out" she said as she helped her into a room. She got Susan into a room and Abby was in there
"Is she okay?" the brown hair nurse asked
"I don't know she looks sick" Kerry said "Why don't we run some tests on her to rule out a couple of things, Ill be right back Susan" Kerry said as she walked out
"You thinking what I'm thinking, she is showing some of the symptoms and I think she was getting sick the other day in the bathroom" Abby said "I had asked her if she was okay she said it was the flu but I doubt it" she said
"Yeah why don't you get a pregnancy test," Kerry said as she walked back to the admit desk. Abby walked back in with a urine cup
"Here why don't you go fill this up so we can run the tests," Abby said as she tossed Susan the cup
"Okay" Susan said as she went into the bathroom and came back with the cup filled
"You should of caught me earlier it would have been a lot fuller" she joked as she gave it back
"Okay I will go give this to the lab and we should have everything back" she said as she walked out handing the cup to Chuny
"Hey Chuny I'm off will you take these up to the lab and put a hurry on them?" she said
"Sure, who are they for?" she asked
"The lady in 4" she said as she ran to catch up with Luka who was also on his way out. Susan waited in the room for what seemed like hours when Kerry showed back up
"Well it looks like my guess was right congratulations Susan," she said looking at her chart
"What?" Susan shocked
"Yep I would guess two weeks along" Kerry said
"Oh my god" Susan said, remembering that time that Carter didn't use a condom
"Well I will keep this to myself and will not tell anyone till you are ready" Kerry said
"Thanks Kerry I owe you one" she said getting dressed
"No problem Susan, now go home and enjoy the rest of the day" she said as she walked out of the room to get back to work
Susan got home, and unlocked the door to find that Carter hadn't returned home yet, "He must be out" she said as she put her stuff down, she sat down and wondered how she was going to tell him, and how can she deal with another kid, she had lost little Suzy and wondered what would happen if something had happened to this one, or if the pregnancy test was wrong she couldn't bare to feel that loss again, she turned the TV on and fell asleep watching it and didn't wake up till Carter got home
"Susan, you home?" Carter said as he walked in putting his stuff down
"Carter do you have to yell I'm right here" she said as she lifted her head up
"Sorry" he said as he gave her a kiss "How was your day?" he asked
"It was normal, busy," she said as she stood up, she felt like telling him but decided to wait until she was right
"Well why don't you go ahead and lay back down and I will go take a shower," he said as he went into the bathroom. He got finished taking a shower and was walking into the kitchen to get a sandwich to eat when he heard some muffled crying, he walked over to see what was wrong "Susan you okay?" he asked
"Nothing John I was just upset about a patient I had today a little girl who lost her parents in a car wreck," she said, as she wiped her face
"Yeah that's tough to have those kind of cases," he said pulling her close
"Yeah its even worse when it happens to someone you love," she said
"What do you mean by that?" he asked
"Well, I've been keeping this to myself and well the reason I came back is because a couple of months before I got here I lost Suzy and Chloe to a car wreck" she said in tears
"Oh my god Susan why didn't you say anything?" he asked shocked
"Well I didn't want it running around the hospital and me looking like a poor victim," she said getting up from the couch
"Susan, you can't keep things like this from everyone" he said walking towards her
"I know John, but its hard to talk about it" she said
"Susan I'm sorry I really wish I had known" he said embracing her. They sat down on the couch "Do you want to tell me how it happened?" he asked
"I don't know John" she said "Its kind of hard to talk about"
"I know it's hard to talk about traumatic experiences but remember what happened to me I shut people out and it drove me to bad things" he said
"John I'm not going to start using drugs I just don't want to talk about it" she said
"Susan please tell me, it will make you feel better to vent," he said
"Okay John, I guess you are not going to let up," she said sitting down in the armchair next to the couch. She sighed "Well it was around Christmas time and we were out shopping looking for something for Joe and I reached back to hand Suzy something and a truck was on the wrong side of the road and I tried to swerve to miss it and he crashed right into me, my airbag went off but it turns out Chloe's seatbelt was really flimsy and it sent her flying through the window and she died on the way to the hospital and Suzy was alive but she died up in surgery" she said now crying her eyes out
"Oh Susan honey I'm so sorry I wish you would of called us and we would have been there for you" he said as he reached out for her hand
"I couldn't I was too crushed and upset and I ended up leaving my attending position there and called here to see if there was a job open" she said
"Susan, you know you have good friends here that will be there for you in whatever happens in your life" he said
"You are a very wonderful woman who I am happy to call my own, you know I love you right?" he asked
"Yes I do John and I'm glad to be here with you now" she said
"Okay well I propose that we go out tonight," he said as he grabbed her by the wrist
"Okay why not" she said. She felt like she had a burden lifted off her chest but she knew that she had one more thing to tell John but that could be saved for a later time