AN: Hey if you're confused while reading this, * italics * indicates a flashback.
The War of the Assassins
Part 9
Strife gazed transfixed at Relena Darilan as she tried fruitlessly to save her beloved and all he could see was his love, Odessa. Relena had the exact same aura as her - that pure, kind, peaceful sky blue. It was decidedly eerie. Heero had the same aura as him, and Relena had the same one as Odessa. No wonder they had gotten together. It was almost like Heero and Relena were just parallel copies of him and Odessa and they were all meant to fall in love.
Lost in a golden haze of memories, Strife was completely entranced by the blonde girl and her sorrowful beauty, seeing a vision of Odessa with tear-filled violet eyes in her place. The sight of that beloved aura again triggered so many vivid memories that he suddenly found himself holding Odessa in his arms and hearing her musical voice say that she loved him.
"Damn it Strife, snap out of it! Heero's going to die if you don't do something soon!" Rag suddenly barked at him, succeeding in snapping him out of his hypnotic reverie.
Strife shook his head as the world came back into focus and then cursed furiously as he realized the severity of the situation. The previous not-so-dangerous hostage situation had been totally ruined by Heero and his hasty actions. Strife had never expected that the pilot would act so quickly and recklessly, and now Heero had to pay for following his heart and not his head. He was completely frozen, and his aura was fading fast. Relena was sobbing wretchedly at his feet, inconsolable. Trowa and Wufei were numb with complete shock and Quatre was trying in vain to comfort Relena, tears streaming down his face. Duo stood aside from the rest of them, staring into nothing with a frighteningly vacant look in his usually expressive eyes. It was obvious that he was in shock and trying to deny the whole situation. He fingered the Zero System helmet carefully in his hands as if it were a precious gem, the last remnant of Heero Yuy.
Strife wasted no more time and immediately raised Ragnarok to throw a Warmth spell at the frozen Gundam pilot. He was stopped by the sound of Virgil's arrogant voice. "I wouldn't, Strife," the redhead warned, his Blade pulsing with icy blue fire. "One false move and I'll implode Mr. Yuy into a thousand frozen pieces." He then started laughing maniacally as if he relished the gruesome thought.
"Damn it!" Rag cursed, annoyed. She had never liked Virgil. Well then again, neither had Strife.
Instead of wasting his time with Virgil though, he went directly to the source of the problem. "What do you want from me Aerowyn?" he spat, glaring darkly at the golden haired woman watching Sally Po and Lucrezia Noin. Heero only had a few minutes before he suffered from permanent brain damage and became impossible to revive - he just didn't have the time to play any games.
"Oh nothing..." Aerowyn replied off-handedly, gazing steadily back at Strife, forest green eyes filled with dry amusement. She knew that she was in control of the situation, and it was obvious that she was just stalling for time to piss him off and make him reckless.
And it was working. Strife felt Heero slip even further as he snapped angrily, "Just tell me!"
"Now, now, no need to lose your temper, Strife," Aerowyn chastised playfully, twirling a strand of her golden hair around her finger. "Just swear by the Daeminstirul that you will destroy whom I tell you to and I swear by my Blade that the boy will go free," she added seriously, her voice and eyes hardening with the weight of her proposal.
Strife blanched. "Daeminstirul..." he breathed, shocked. Daeminstirul was the ancient Lothosan word for "code". It now meant the Assassin's Code that every Assassin honored, and if he broke an oath to it, he would be publicly forbidden to hold a job as an Assassin, hunted after mercilessly by his former peers, stripped of his Blade and then ultimately killed. It was the absolute dishonor to break an oath to the Daeminstirul, and the unfortunate Assassin who did was even more hated than one who broke an oath to their Blade.
"No Strife, you can't possibly swear by the Daeminstirul to eliminate someone of Aerowyn's choosing. Do you think that she would make you do it if the target isn't the one person that you can't possibly kill?" Rag asked forcefully. "Think about it - she wants you to destroy Odessa!"
Odessa. Strife flinched. She was right. She was always right. His head reeled with the sudden realization of the whole reason why Aerowyn was on Earth in the first place. She had probably been hired by the Baron to make sure that he completed his job, and she was smart enough to know that he wasn't capable of doing it without being forced into it by an oath sworn to the Daeminstirul. The only person he could not possibly eliminate in the whole Universe was Odessa. But then Heero would die - but he couldn't just kill Odessa outright. "I can't possibly do it Rag...I just CAN'T," he said to her, his voice breaking in a sudden swell of emotion and frustration. "Not Odessa..."
But what about Heero? His idol, his role model, the greatest hero of all time - he couldn't just forsake him. Heero was practically him - how could he just stand there and watch him die? But there was no avoiding the truth. He had to choose who would die. Odessa or Heero. "Oh God - Rag...help me..." Strife begged desperately, speaking out loud, so horrendously conflicted that he felt faint and he didn't give a damn who heard him. Aerowyn glanced sharply at him, her eyes narrowing as she scrutinized his aura. She was going to find out something was wrong soon enough.
"Strife, get a hold of yourself - Aerowyn, she's going to find out that you know-"
"So...having second thoughts now are we?" Aerowyn purred sweetly. Shit. Strife gave her his best imitation of Heero's death glare as a reply and hoped it was enough. It wasn't.
She sighed dramatically, rolled her eyes in mock exasperation at his glare and then remarked contemplatively, "I'm really making it quite easy for you Strife, but I should've known that you were indecisive. I think this will help you out-" She chopped off the end of her sentence and nodded to Virgil. He grinned as he sliced his Blade diagonally through the air.
Strife felt like throwing up when he heard a sickening crack snap through the air. He watched in horror as hairline fissures appeared in the ice encasing Heero's body. They're going to make him shatter-
Relena and the Gundam pilots stared at Heero dazedly, not fully comprehending what was happening. Cracks in the ice crawled slowly from his shoes to his head and then branched out, silver lines interlacing and tangling like Threads. I have to DO something-
"You're running out of time," Aerowyn offered helpfully, looking thoughtfully at Heero. "Right now, you can still save him but a few more cracks and-" she shrugged helplessly "I'm afraid your idol will shatter beyond repair."
"God damn you Aerowyn," Strife said between clenched teeth, furious.
Crack.
* He was six years old and watching a movie featuring the Gundam pilots, absolutely entranced by the fearless, strong, invincible Heero Yuy, promising himself that he would grow up to be just like him... *
"STOP IT!"
* Odessa was dumping sand onto his wet body to get him back for pushing her into the water. He was chasing her around the beach in mock fury and realizing that he really did love her... *
"Strife, he's going to break!"
Crack.
No, I'm going to break, Rag.
"I SAID STOP!"
Crack.
Odessa. Heero. Odessa. Heero.
"LEAVE HIM ALONE!"
* "I have always loved you, Strife."*
* "I trust him, and have faith in his skills."*
Crack.
Strife roared in desperation and frustration as the world swam dizzily around him, closing his eyes, crumbling to his knees and clutching his head tight between his hands, trying to block out that horrible, horrible sound. Too much. He couldn't think. Futility and stress suffocated him until he could neither see nor hear nor feel. And unbearable pressure constricted his heart and lungs and he couldn't breathe. He wanted to faint. He was going to either break or become mad. He couldn't do it. He couldn't decide. "Stop..." he choked out weakly to no one in particular as more and more cracks covered Heero's body.
"You're cutting it awfully close, Strife. You have to decide now," Aerowyn commanded, eyeing his crumpled body with a sort of sick pleasure.
He didn't even hear her.
"Rag - help - please...I don't - I can't...Rag," he stammered helplessly, begging his Blade for some kind of answer and trying frantically to ignore Relena's desperate cries for Virgil to stop and her unbearable, crushing sorrow. This was just too much for her. He knew that she was going to break if Heero shattered right in front of her.
He couldn't breathe.
"This isn't my decision to make," answered Rag stiffly, her aura dimming to a dark blood red. Strife stared at his Blade in complete incomprehension as a dreadful feeling of betrayal washed over him. She's not going to help-
"Ragnarok..." he whispered brokenly, crushed.
Crack.
A horrible, delicate, tinkling noise that sounded like glass breaking into a thousand pieces filled the air. Heero was beginning to shatter...
Odessa or Heero.
He didn't even have a choice now.
His mind splintered into useless shards of glass. Of ice.
Something snapped deep within him. His eyes flashed open and he abruptly flowed up to his feet, raised his Blade and prepared to cast a spell. He felt no answering warmth from Rag, which was strange, but it did not matter. He had made his decision.
"I swear by the Daeminstirul to destroy whom you tell me to!!" he shouted at the top of his lungs as he simultaneously flung a hasty Heal spell towards Heero. A green ball of light and an ice blue one smashed into the frozen boy immediately afterwards.
*********************
Heero was cold. So cold. He was somewhere infinitely dark and shapeless and the only thing he was aware of was the unbearable coldness. The loneliness. He was trapped in black misery.
So this is what it is like to be dead.
There was a sudden flash of red light, and then green and blue. Heavenly warmth surrounded him, bathed him in its soothing glory. He sighed in bliss as the deadly coldness shrunk in fear at the warmth and melted away. The warmth was beautiful. It spread all the way from his toes to the tips of his hair. He felt blood begin to pump through his veins again, circulating through his limbs and calling them to life. He first gingerly moved one finger, and then another, and then his whole right arm. He could move again. The feeling was wondrous.
Someone was cradling him tenderly, and calling his name. His eyelids no longer felt quite so heavy and so he tried to open them, and found to his happy surprise that it was rather easy. Two pools of ocean-blue light met his gaze.
"Relena..." Heero breathed, shocked. "I'm alive..."
"Heero..." Relena murmured, sounding happy and more relieved than he had ever heard her sound before. Her face was red and puffy from crying, and tears of joy streamed down her face. Heero tenderly wiped them away with the back of his hand and gently caressed her cheek.
Relena smiled faintly, and then pulled him up and hugged him tightly as if to make sure that he were really there. "Heero - you were - you were..." she stammered unsteadily into his shoulder, unable to finish her sentence.
"I know. All you all right?" he asked gently, stroking her hair and marveling at its softness. She nodded mutely and wrapped her arms around his waist. They stayed like that for a few quiet moments, comforting each other with the mere fact that they were together. He then gingerly pulled away and looked her in the eye. "Why am I still alive?" he asked her seriously.
"Hey, Heero buddy!" called Duo, slapping him boisterously on the back. "That was pretty impressive, surviving all of that! I really thought for a moment there that you were going to bite the dust!"
Heero laughed and looked carefully at Duo. He saw with some surprise that the God of Death had been crying. So he really does care. "Nice to see you too, Duo," he replied almost cheerfully. It was good to be alive. "But who saved me?"
"It was that Assassin, Strife," Quatre supplied helpfully, walking into the group with Trowa, Wufei, Sally, and Noin. "It's good to see that you're all right, Heero," he added warmly. Quatre had been crying too, but Trowa and Wufei were their usually stoic selves. Sally and Noin were probably freshly unparalyzed, and looked pretty dazed.
Heero furrowed his brows. Strife? "So he didn't betray us after all..." he said thoughtfully to no one in particular.
Relena looked up at him, puzzled. "What do you mean, Heero?"
He shook his head and replied dismissively, "Nothing."
"I had my doubts about him too," Wufei spoke up, sounding a little belligerent. "But he did save you with that magic of his," he added grudgingly.
"And us," said Sally and Noin in unison. They looked at each other and burst out laughing.
"Yes, but apparently at a great price," Trowa remarked quietly once they had calmed down, staring intensely at Heero. "He didn't look too happy afterwards, and left with that woman and red-haired man. It seems like he's going to be forced to kill someone close to him in exchange for your life."
Heero blanched. He'd never expect Strife to sacrifice someone for him. He still didn't quite believe that he meant that much to him. "What happened?" he demanded yet again, thoroughly confused.
The other Gundam pilots and Relena exchanged quick glances with each other, and proceeded to fill him in on what occurred when he was unconscious.
Heero's expression grew gradually more grim as the story progressed. When it was over he said determinedly, "I have to go find him. This is my fault."
"Heero," Relena started, sounding worried. "It was his decision - how can you blame yourself for it?"
Heero grimaced. It was obvious that she didn't want him to go anywhere now that he had almost died. "Relena, this is just something I have to do," he said forcefully, but not meanly. "He sacrificed someone for me and the very least I can do is apologize for being so reckless and thank him." I should've waited for him, Heero thought ruefully. But he had just snapped when he saw Relena in danger...
She frowned and her expression turned hard. "Heero, it's too dangerous!" she protested angrily. "I just about lost you back there and I'm not about to let you go hunt down some Assassin associating with the people who almost killed you!"
"Relena..." Heero practically groaned, frustrated. She didn't understand. He and Strife shared a strange sort of connection and the fact that the Assassin had sacrificed someone for him just strengthened that bond. He had to go find him and help him...somehow...
"Maybe you should listen to Relena, Heero," Quatre said a little dubiously.
"No," Heero replied outright, surprising the blonde pilot. "You don't understand. None of you understand," he snarled, angry and annoyed. "I have to do this and none of you are going to stop me." He sighed as he saw the shocked looks surrounding him. He knew he sounded like The Perfect Soldier again but his instincts were screaming for him to go find Strife. "Look," he said a little more gently when he saw the determined glint in Relena's eyes. "The people with him won't hurt me now that Strife has joined up with them. I don't know how I know but I just - do. Please...trust me," he practically begged.
Relena's eyes gradually softened as she heard the frantic desperation in his voice. "I believe in you Heero..." she said quietly and then gently pulled his face down for a kiss.
When she pulled away Heero took a look around the room and was relieved to find that no one had any objections. They all trusted him and more importantly, they had faith in Relena's judgement.
"Just come back to me," Relena said softly, her head pressed against his chest.
Heero looked down at her fondly and put an arm protectively around her shoulders. "I will," he replied, determination hardening his voice.
"Do ya want us to come with you, Heero?" asked Duo cheerfully, already prepared for another adventure.
"No," Trowa replied for him, surprising everyone. "I think this is something that Heero has to handle for himself," he said in his usual quiet, analytical manner.
Heero smiled gratefully at Trowa. They understood each other.
"All right," said Duo resignedly. "Man, why do you always have to have all the fun?" he whined, sounding for all the world like a disappointed six year old.
"Shut up, Maxwell," Wufei snapped, annoyed.
Heero laughed and soon everyone else joined him, even Trowa. They were mainly laughing to release tension and not specifically at Duo, but he took it personally and continually asked what was so funny, which of course made them all laugh even harder.
When he finally regained control of himself, Heero gave Relena one last hug and turned to leave, giving a clipped 'goodbye'. He wasn't really one for teary farewells and it wasn't like it was the last time that he was going to see them.
But then again, he wasn't so sure about that.
********************
Strife scowled darkly as he stalked out of the Preventor's HQ, flanked by Virgil and Aerowyn. They had already given him his assignment to destroy Odessa and he had surprised Virgil by not reacting much. Aerowyn hadn't even blinked at his apparent stoicism. He had to give her something - she was intelligent. She had sensed from his aura that he already knew whom it was that he had to destroy and was accordingly prepared with biting insults.
"I never thought that you leaned towards little boys, Strife," she taunted maliciously. "To think that you would choose Heero as your new pet over your beloved Odessa - why I'd never expect it from you." Her voice was practically dripping with sarcasm and insinuations.
He didn't even bother to reply. She knew that his sexual orientation had nothing to do with saving Heero and she was just trying to goad him into some sort of reaction. Virgil for once did not say anything but merely stared straight ahead of him, ice blue eyes hard. Strife scrutinized his aura and found to his surprise that the redhead was jealous - he didn't like Aerowyn giving any sort of attention to another man.
They walked on in a stretch of uncomfortable silence towards the Meadow, which was actually relatively close to the Sanq Kingdom. The three of them had never even been allies, much less friends. They only tolerated each other now because they were on an assignment. If they had met in any other situation, Strife would have been trying his best to destroy the both of them and vice versa. The tension stretched between them like a rubber band, and it was eventually going to snap. But when it did, he would be ready. He was always ready.
It was quiet outside. It was a brisk, clear autumn day with sunshine and not a cloud in the sky, but there was a biting cold wind that knifed through all layers of clothing, no matter how thick. The civilians were obviously not used to it and stayed indoors. Strife rather enjoyed the weather. He was used to the cold.
Rag was strangely quiet. Strife had yet to find out what was wrong with her but for now he let her sleep. Whatever it was she was upset about, he would find out eventually.
Strife himself was well - empty. He felt dull and spent and above all exhausted. He wasn't thinking past the moment because to do so would be too painful and would break his fragile resolve. He had gone through one difficult choice and now he was presented with another. He knew that he couldn't destroy Odessa, Daeminstirul or no, but he had to hide it from the others to protect himself. Because if they knew...he could hardly even bear to think past that thought. Immediately designated as a Soulless Blade, or an outlaw, they would turn on him and destroy him. But first they would take Ragnarok away from him.
Strife shut his eyes tightly at the thought as if it would help him shut away the sharp heartache that accompanied it. Rag... Without her, he wasn't complete. She wasn't just a sword; she was a part of him. She was his feisty, funny, sardonic, indomitable Rag. It had taken him six years to realize that she was his one and only Soul and that he loved her. But his love for her was different than his love for Odessa.
Strife realized with numbing shock that when he weighed the two, Odessa was more important to him. Perhaps Rag knew that and that was why she was upset with him. But...it was true. Rag was the embodiment of his lifestyle as an Assassin. He could give up his career and his magic and even his Soul but he would need Odessa there for him to do so. She was the ultimate goal, the promise of a life filled with happiness and peace and Rag was the promise of a life filled with pain and bloodshed. It was the honest truth. No matter how pure his love for Rag was, she was still a merciless instrument of death and would always be one. If he chose her, he would never be able to stop killing and quit his profession as an Assassin. Once, it was the only thing he wanted to do. Now all he wanted was some peace.
Ragnarok would be the ultimate sacrifice.
The thought made him sick to his stomach. He didn't want Rag to be a sacrifice for Odessa. He wanted them both, but even as he thought so he knew that it was impossible to have both of them and be truly happy. But God...Rag...how can I possibly give her up?
Not like he had much of a choice in the matter. He couldn't kill Odessa, period. But it helped a little to know that when Rag was inevitably stripped from him, in the long run, losing her would the best thing for him. Not like that makes it any less painful.
And of course there was always the problem of Diablo. As long as he existed, Odessa was essentially dead.
He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice the presence of a fourth aura until he heard the metallic hiss of Blades being unsheathed. Strife immediately whirled around and drew Ragnarok, prepared to kill the intruder.
It was Heero. He walked purposely towards him with his arms raised slightly above his head, not looking afraid in the least. Virgil and Aerowyn watched him warily but did not make a move, respecting Strife's relationship with the boy.
"What are you doing here?" Strife demanded a little belligerently. Heero reminded him of his sacrifice, and even though it wasn't really the pilot's fault, he couldn't help but feel slightly bitter towards him.
The pilot stopped in front of him and regarded him quietly, gradually lowering his arms. Heero's dark blue aura swirled with emotion and Strife noticed with astonishment that one of them was regret. "I'm sorry," he said simply, looking him steadily in the eyes.
Strife softened a bit, surprised that Heero had come looking for him just to apologize. "Apology accepted, Heero," he replied coolly as he simultaneously sheathed his sword. "But it wasn't your fault." Believing that he had said enough, he turned and started to walk away, Aerowyn and Virgil following in silence, reluctantly sheathing their Blades.
"I owe you my life several times over. Let me help you," Heero stated, watching him leave.
Strife stopped and laughed humorlessly. "Is this your way of thanking me?" he asked dryly, not turning around.
Heero grimaced and replied grudgingly, "Yes. There has to be something I can do to repay you for your sacrifice."
Strife's face turned stony as he whirled around. "Who told you about that?" he snarled, surprisingly angry that Heero knew about the Daeminstirul and Odessa. It was none of his business.
Heero didn't even blink as he replied calmly, "Trowa."
"It's none of your business, kid," Strife said coldly. "Just drop it." He scrubbed his face wearily with the palm of his hand, feeling exhausted and spent. Perhaps Heero didn't deserve such a cold reception from him, but he just didn't feel like dealing with any of the Gundam pilots right about now. He had to find Odessa and do...something...
Aerowyn snorted in disbelief. "Whatever happened to your hero worship, Strife?" she taunted. Virgil laughed.
He ignored them and turned to the obstinately determined Heero. "Look, Heero," he began, trying in vain to keep the frustration out of his voice. "The truth is that you're just going to get in the way if you try to help." He saw a flash of injured pride in the pilot's eyes so he hurriedly continued, "I'm not insulting your abilities. But you don't have any defense against magic nor can you use it. So just let me do this by myself."
Heero stared at him for a few moments, weighing him. "Alright," he said finally, resigned. The pilot turned and started to walk away, his hands in the pockets of his blue windbreaker.
"Wait." This time it was Strife who called after him to stop. Heero turned to face him, an expectant look on his face. "There is one thing you can do for me, Heero."
"And what is that?"
"Protect Relena," Strife said quietly, looking up at the pale blue sky and thinking of a particular aura.
Heero shot him a puzzled look but did not question him. He just nodded once and continued walking with that fluid grace of his.
Strife sighed a little and then started to walk away himself, idly kicking the golden leaves that had piled about his feet.
He had a mission to accomplish.
***************
"Ahh, we're finally here," said Diablo, immensely satisfied with himself. They were finally standing in front of the Preventor's HQ, after hours of Slicing to various random places and trying to find a place where the natives actually spoke their language.
Odessa was exceedingly anxious for she knew the damage that Diablo could cause once he got into the building, but she tried not to show it. "Took you long enough," she complained, yawning over-dramatically.
"Just for that I'm going to cut off Strife's-" he abruptly broke off, sounding surprised. "Who's that?" Odessa watched him turn around and walk quickly towards the main road where they had just come from.
She furrowed her brows. Just what was going on? She couldn't sense anyone - but then again, she was in The Void.
Diablo turned another corner and there he was, striding gracefully down the sidewalk, unruly brown hair caught in the cold wind.
It was Heero Yuy.
"Damnit!" Odessa hissed, annoyed. Why couldn't the kid just stay out of trouble? He was always in the wrong place at the wrong time.
She could feel Diablo's ghastly grin. "What luck to meet up with him again. Let's go pay our old friend a visit," he suggested gleefully, already crossing to street and collecting Threads.
"Leave him alone, Diablo!" Odessa shouted desperately, mentally urging Heero to run. "He hasn't done anything to you! You know he can't hurt you!"
Diablo was now behind Heero, cloaking himself, following him and constructing a paralyze spell all at the same time. "I've got him this time..." he muttered, ignoring her. His spell was almost finished.
Odessa was frantic. "Diablo...please! He's just a boy!" she begged him, hoping to get through to him somehow. God, not again. Not again. But there was nothing she could do this time, nothing she could do to save the boy with the same aura as Strife.
*****************
Strife suddenly stopped in his tracks. So did Aerowyn and Virgil. Something was wrong...they could all sense it. He turned back and looked down the street where Heero had disappeared. His eyes narrowed as he felt it again. Something was definitely down there, something dark -
*******************
AN: Don't you just hate cliffhangers? Anyhow, yeah, I know, that was a really long part. Sorry if any of you out there got bored. I tried to make it interesting. ^_^ Oh and no, there is not supposed to be any yaoi or shounen ai relationship between Strife and Heero and there's not going to be any, though I can see why you would think so. Strife just looks up to Heero and Heero respects Strife. I hope I'm not misleading anyone. Anyway, I'm in school now, so I don't really have a lot of time to write. I'm sorry that it's taking me so long to complete my parts but I'm trying as hard as I can. Motivate me: Cutlass317@aol.com