No Escape
This fic is a little weird. Sorry if it may seem not very appropriate at this time (Sept 2001, the month when the WTC in New York collapsed), Gomen if you find it not very appropriate...
There was no escape. No escape from the thick, black cloud of acrid smoke that had gradually enveloped the hallways, no escape from the searing hot tongues of fire, no escape from the scorching heat. Everywhere in the building, people panicked, and ran here and there, frantically looking for a means of escape from the burning building before either being slowly choked to death by the smoke or being consumed by the blazing inferno. There was no way out, no escape out of the building. All fire escapes were blocked. The staircases had collapsed. There was no way down and out of the building.
Amongst all the pain and confusion, one lone figure sat, motionless, against a wall. He was oblivious to the situation around him, for he had been living with a far worser situation within him for the past few days. Flames had engulfed his heart, mind and soul, and fires had been burning inside him. At this critical point of time, he no longer cared about the physical situation around him. He didn't care if the building he was in would be collapsing, he didn't care if he got eaten up by the fire, he didn't care if he perished in the flames. In fact, he would be glad if he died. There was nothing more to live for in his life. There was no escape for him in his life, from his troubles, unless he died.
In the past few days, he had played around with the idea of committing suicide, and twice so far, he had been tempted to climb to the top floor of the building where he lived in, the 25th storey, and just jump down from there, effectively ending his life. He had been thinking through all the ways of suicide, trying to decide which would be the best way to end his life, but now, it seemed as if he wouldn't have to end things himself after all. The fire would end it all for him. He could escape from the never-ending torture that was his life, which he had faced ever since he'd broken up with Kogure.
Min-kun... Why did you have to leave me? Why? We had such a good relationship going, Min-kun. Then you had to leave me. He could still remember the day when Kogure had left him...
-----FLASHBACK-----
"Min-kun, are you all right?" A worried Mitsui asked Kogure. He had never seen Kogure like this before, so tense and nervous, so unlike Kogure's usual self. He gently placed a hand on Kogure's arm. "You seem so unlike yourself."
"I'm all right, Hisashi." Kogure quietly replied. Yet, his voice was wavering as he replied, a clear indication that something wasn't right at all.
Mitsui knew that something quite right, and was concerned. "Is there anything on your mind? Why don't you tell me? Troubles are lessened when shared among friends, you know." He wanted to know what was on Kogure's mind, and maybe relieve Kogure's troubles. Kogure had been there for him through many of his troubles, and he wanted to be there for Kogure as well.
"I know, Hisashi. But I really don't quite know how to tell you this, Hisashi." Kogure told Mitsui, with a slightly nervous tone in his voice.
"Just tell me, Min-kun. It's all right, I'll be willing to listen to any of your troubles. I'll be more than happy to lighten your burden." Mitsui had said this much before he realised something. "Does the fact that you're not sure how to tell me your troubles mean that your troubles have something to do with me?" Mitsui was worried. What could be on Kogure's mind?
"Well... Actually, Hisashi, it does." Having worked up the courage to tell Mitsui that what he had been brooding over involved him, Kogure rushed on. "Myparentswantmetobreakupwithyoubecausetheywantmetofindagirlfriendandnotaboyfriend."
"Wait a minute... Min-kun, could you please say that again, this time in plain English?" Mitsui was confused by Kogure's sentence which had been spoken as fast as a machine-gun could fire. Kogure didn't normally speak like that. In fact, Kogure was quite well known throughout Shohoku for his good speaking skills. Something wasn't right.
"Well... Hisashi... it's like this. My... my parents want me to... to... break up with you." Kogure stammered out.
What? Min-kun wants to break up? Mitsui was shocked. Why? Weren't they perfectly fine together? Was it possible that Kogure didn't love him anymore? What was going on?
Seeing the expression of shock on Mitsui's face, Kogure hurried to assure Mitsui that he still loved him. "Hisashi, it's not that I don't love you anymore." He hesitated for a moment before continuing. "It's just that my parents... well... you know I'm their only son, don't you? They don't want me to bring... dishonor to the family. They feel that me being... well... you know... will only bring disgrace upon the family name."
Dishonour. Disgrace. Min-kun is breaking up with me so that he wouldn't bring dishonor to his family and make his family name disgraced in society. Mitsui couldn't help but feel devastated. My parents don't mind, as long as I'm happy. "What about your parents? Don't they care about your happiness? Don't they care about you?"
Kogure looked away. "I'm sorry, Hisashi. I don't have a choice. If my parents want me to do something, I have to do it. Besides, I don't want to let them down, Hisashi. It's not that I don't love you, but I don't have a choice." Kogure gently pushed Mitsui's hand off his arm, and turned to leave.
Mitsui couldn't stand it. How could he let Kogure go, just like that? He wanted Kogure. He hurried to Kogure and grasped Kogure's hands in his. "Is this it, Min-kun? Are you just going to let it go like that? Our relationship? Is it just going to end like this?"
Kogure turned back to face Mitsui. "Yes, Hisashi. I don't have a choice. But I hope this doesn't mean that we can't still be friends."
Mitsui couldn't stand it. Their relationship, just ended like that? But Kogure was his soulmate. What would he have left to live for? But if this was the way things had to go, he wanted at least a parting kiss from Kogure. He wanted it to keep as a reminder of happier days when he and Kogure had been blissfully together. "Min-kun, could I have just... just one last kiss?" He held Kogure close to him and looked hopefully into Kogure's eyes.
Kogure looked into Mitsui's eyes, and hesitated for a moment before answering. "I'm sorry, Hisashi, I can't." Tears filled Kogure's eyes and he took one last look at Mitsui before running away into the night.
-----END FLASHBACK-----
That had been it. That was when they ended their months-long relationship. Just a few days ago, they had been together, and Mitsui had Kogure. But now, Mitsui no longer had Kogure by his side. Since then, Mitsui had missed Kogure terribly, but whenever he met Kogure, nothing happened, except for exchanging of "hellos". In fact, he was willing to bet that since then, he had exchanged a total of 10 words with Kogure - "Hello." "Please pass the ball." "Bye." "Thank You." "You're welcome."
Since their relationship had ended, he had found nothing in his life to live for. He felt quite happy that now, in the blazing inferno, his thread of life would be permanently severed. He no longer wanted to live. That was why he didn't panic like the other people around him. He wanted to leave this world forever. There was no more meaning in life for him.
He could feel the acrid smoke slowly entering his body. He could feel his oxygen supply being slowly but surely cut off by the ever-hungry flames which consumed the oxygen all around. He could feel the heat of the flames as they approached him. He could feel the tongues of the flames licking at him. He knew, he knew that it would all end now. No more would he live.
Goodbye, Min-kun.
There was no escape.
~OWARI~
At the end of this fic, I would like to apologize again if you may find this fic quite inappropriate. I would also like to clarify that I did not write this fic after the attack on the WTC. However, the freaky thing about this fic is that I got the concept of the fic on the morning of Sept 11, +0800 GMT, and wrote it 2 hours before the first plane crashed into the WTC.
I got the concept during History, when we had to do Historical Emphathy, and put ourselves into the shoes of someone caught in Singapore when the British surrendered to the Japanese on 15 February 1942. So I wrote "There was no escape", then realised that it sounded like a very good title for a fic, before starting to think of what I could write for the fic.
Any comments about this fic? E-mail me at tanyls@yahoo.com.
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