I do not own any version of The Maltese Falcon. (Though I'd like to keep Joel Cairo, if no one else wants him.) The Maltese Falcon (and Joel, alas!) belongs to Dashiell Hammet and MGM and people like that who are either dead or have much more money than me...or both.
Nor do I own Mañana, the song I have twisted so dreadfully. I have never known why it makes me think of Brigid O'Shaughnessy, but it does. The song belongs to Jimmy Buffet.
I know that, at the end of The Maltese Falcon, almost everyone I mention (Gutman, Cairo, Brigid and Wilmer) is either dead or going to jail. But I can't do that to people I like. So consider this a bit of an AU ending...they all get away and are still looking for the black bird. (Kemidov is so dead this time...)
She said, "I can't go back to America soon.
Miles is still dead, and Floyd Thursby, too.
Yeah, Sam's still pissed at me, the police are upset,
And there's still a black bird that I've got to get."
Customs man tells her that she's gotta leave.
She's got a plan hidden up her shirtsleeve.
Wants to find her a captain, a man of strong mind
And Constantinople this week would be fine.
Sam said, "Please don't say, "I love you," if you don't mean it.
I have heard those words for so very long.
Don't try to describe the Falcon if you've never seen it.
Don't ever forget that you just may wind up being wrong."
I try and I try, but I don't understand,
It never seems to work out the way I had it planned.
Sam Spade shoulda fallen for me, yeah, he shoulda been mine,
'Stead he gave me to the cops and wanted me to do time.
Money and gunmen are in short supply
There's too much at stake for us all to get by.
I hear it gets better. That's what they say,
With one million dollars, you get your own way.
Sam said, "Please don't say, "I love you," if you don't mean it.
I have heard your lies for so very long.
Don't try to describe the truth, now, 'cause you've never seen it.
Don't ever forget that you just may wind up in my song."
I can't afford San Fran hotel rates.
It sure is good to leave the old United States,
By the gossip I heard on the night that I left
I guess the Fat Man and Joel are still doing their best.
The boys'll avoid me when they hear the word.
Gutman and Cairo, they won't share the bird.
But I know that I'll get it, I know that they'll come
'Cause I kidnapped Wilmer when I went on the run.
Sam said, "Please don't say, "I love you," if you don't mean it."
And I have told these lies for so very long.
Don't try to describe Sydney Greenstreet if you've never seen it.
Don't ever forget that you just may wind up being gone.
(And I hope Dash Hammet never ever gets a hold of this song...no, no, no...)
Nor do I own Mañana, the song I have twisted so dreadfully. I have never known why it makes me think of Brigid O'Shaughnessy, but it does. The song belongs to Jimmy Buffet.
I know that, at the end of The Maltese Falcon, almost everyone I mention (Gutman, Cairo, Brigid and Wilmer) is either dead or going to jail. But I can't do that to people I like. So consider this a bit of an AU ending...they all get away and are still looking for the black bird. (Kemidov is so dead this time...)
She said, "I can't go back to America soon.
Miles is still dead, and Floyd Thursby, too.
Yeah, Sam's still pissed at me, the police are upset,
And there's still a black bird that I've got to get."
Customs man tells her that she's gotta leave.
She's got a plan hidden up her shirtsleeve.
Wants to find her a captain, a man of strong mind
And Constantinople this week would be fine.
Sam said, "Please don't say, "I love you," if you don't mean it.
I have heard those words for so very long.
Don't try to describe the Falcon if you've never seen it.
Don't ever forget that you just may wind up being wrong."
I try and I try, but I don't understand,
It never seems to work out the way I had it planned.
Sam Spade shoulda fallen for me, yeah, he shoulda been mine,
'Stead he gave me to the cops and wanted me to do time.
Money and gunmen are in short supply
There's too much at stake for us all to get by.
I hear it gets better. That's what they say,
With one million dollars, you get your own way.
Sam said, "Please don't say, "I love you," if you don't mean it.
I have heard your lies for so very long.
Don't try to describe the truth, now, 'cause you've never seen it.
Don't ever forget that you just may wind up in my song."
I can't afford San Fran hotel rates.
It sure is good to leave the old United States,
By the gossip I heard on the night that I left
I guess the Fat Man and Joel are still doing their best.
The boys'll avoid me when they hear the word.
Gutman and Cairo, they won't share the bird.
But I know that I'll get it, I know that they'll come
'Cause I kidnapped Wilmer when I went on the run.
Sam said, "Please don't say, "I love you," if you don't mean it."
And I have told these lies for so very long.
Don't try to describe Sydney Greenstreet if you've never seen it.
Don't ever forget that you just may wind up being gone.
(And I hope Dash Hammet never ever gets a hold of this song...no, no, no...)