Race and Benton stared in horror at the empty doorway as Jonny's parting words echoed around the study. The silence was like a void and neither man seemed capable of breaking it. Finally, Race turned back to the other man, shaken.
"Dear God, Benton, what have you done?"
Benton stared back at him, still feeling stunned. Over the last several weeks, as he waited for his son to discover that he would not be able to attend the school of his choice, Benton had vacillated back and forth on his feelings about what he had set in motion. Unable to meet Race's fierce gaze, he turned and went to sit down behind his desk again. As he looked up, he saw the portrait of his wife and son that hung on the far wall. He looked away hastily; unable to stand looking at the likeness of two of the people he loved most in the entire world. Suddenly, he had the overpowering sense of being stared at. Forcing himself to look up, his eyes locked with those of his long-dead wife. Those eyes seemed alive as they stared back at him accusingly. He could almost hear her voice . . . How could you, Benton? It seemed to demand. What were you thinking???
He tore his gaze away from the portrait. No, what he had done was right. He was just sure of it. Looking back at his companion, he said sharply, "I simply couldn't allow this to continue, Race! They are way too young. Separating them is the only answer."
"But for God's sake, Benton! To go behind his back and try to force him into it? You know the way Jonny gets when he feels that someone he cares about is threatened . . . particularly Jessie!"
"I'm not threatening Jessie," Benton objected. "All I'm asking is that they back off for a few years . . ."
"And you didn't think Jonny would take that as a threat? Particularly with the tactic you used? You saw him . . . when was the last time you saw him that furious?"
Benton still looked shaken. "I don't know that I've ever . . . "
"Yes, you have," Race replied grimly. "Think about it." Race nodded as he watched the older man's expression change.
"Cairo," Benton whispered hoarsely.
"Cairo," Race agreed. "I think we need to find that boy. He's disappeared once before under stress like this, and I wouldn't put it past him to do it again."
Both men ran from the study. When they reached the entryway, Benton paused, "Where would he go?" he asked Race.
"He was following Jessie. Let's try upstairs."
When they reached the second floor, they immediately spotted Estella leaning against the wall opposite Jessie's door. She looked seriously shaken. Striding up to her, Race caught her shoulders.
"Stel, what's wrong? What happened?"
She clutched at his arms, staring at the closed door. "He was so angry," she whispered.
"What did he do?" Race demanded sharply, staring to sound angry himself. That seemed to bring Estella back to awareness.
"Nothing," she replied hastily. "I was in front of the door when he got here and he bumped into me when he knocked for Jessie to let him in. It was . . . I just . . ." She faltered and then looked at her husband, in shock. "She told me to go away, Race! I've never heard her that way before . . ."
Great, Race thought grimly. They're drawing battle lines already! He was certain that if they didn't confront this now, before the two kids withdrew totally, things were only going to continue to worsen. Taking two strides, he knocked sharply on Jessie's door.
"Jessie, I need to talk with the two of you. Let me in." He paused, listening carefully. Nothing broke the silence on the other side of the door. After a moment, he knocked sharply again. "Jessie, open this door," he demanded. Still nothing.
"Is it locked?" Benton asked.
Race tried the knob. "Yes," he replied tersely.
"There's a bypass key, isn't there?"
"Yes. It's down in the lockbox in our suite."
"Race, I'm not sure that's a good idea," Estella protested, but Benton interrupted her.
"I'll get it," he said flatly and left at a run.
"Race . . ." Estella said warningly.
"We've got to talk with them, Stel."
"But not this way! If you break in on them like this, they'll never listen. Give them some time. Everyone is too upset . . ."
Estella could tell that her arguments were swaying her husband, but before she could convince him, Benton reappeared at the head of the stairs. "Here it is," he said breathlessly, trying to step up to the door. Race intercepted him, forcing the older man back a few steps.
"No, Benton, let me. We've got to move very carefully. We don't want to set both of them off again." Taking the key, he went back to the door and banged on it loudly again. "JESSICA!" When there was no answer, he unlocked the door and opened it.
The wintry air washed over him the instant he stepped inside the room. "Jessica, where are . . . Shit!" He spotted the rope and the open window almost immediately. Crossing the room, he leaned out and peered down into the darkness. The rope smacked softly against the house in the wind. Other than that, there was no sign of movement anywhere.
"Where are they?" Benton demanded, striding into the room.
"It looks like they're gone," Race replied.
"Gone! Gone where?" Swiftly, Benton joined Race at the window. Over his head, Race's gaze locked with Estella's and they eyed each other bleakly. She was right, Race thought to himself. We pushed them . . . drove them to this.
Benton straightened abruptly and demanded, "IRIS, scan the surrounding grounds for Jonny and Jessie"
The response was a long time coming. "SENSORS INDICATE THAT JONNY QUEST AND JESSIE BANNON ARE NOT ON THE SURROUNDING GROUNDS."
"They'd make for the cars!" Benton said suddenly. Without another word, the three of them spun and sprinted for the staircase. Benton and Race reached it first and clamored down at breakneck speed. By the time Estella got halfway down, she could hear their breathless questions to Mrs. Evans and then frantic scrambling at the back door. The distinctive smacking sound of the loose end of the coat rack hitting the wall brought her to an abrupt halt. Common sense seemed to flood in and she froze. It was windy and cold outside . . . Jessie didn't have a coat in her room. Estella spun and crept softly back up the stairs. As she approached the bedroom door again, she heard whispered voices.
"What are you doing?" Jessie hissed. "We have to get out of here!" Estella stepped silently into the room and watched as the two young people peered at the computer screen on her daughter's desk.
"If we don't blind ourselves to IRIS, we won't get ten feet outside any door of this house. Hang on, I'm almost there . . . Got it! Come on, let's go . . . " They both spun . . . and came face-to-face with her.
"Going somewhere?" she asked quietly. Both of them were still angry, although the violent fury Jonny had exhibited earlier seemed to be in better control now.
"Out," Jonny replied stiffly.
"Out where?"
"Let us by, Mother," Jessie said, stepping forward. Estella saw that her daughter was angry too, but she could sense a difference in the undercurrent. The predominant emotion from Jonny seemed to be pure anger . . . a response to a threat. But with Jessie, there was something else. Hurt? Disillusionment? She wasn't quite sure what it was, but the two of them together were formidable. She knew she would have to let them go. Aside from being physically unable to prevent them if they were determined, she also saw that another confrontation with their fathers right now would only end in disaster.
"Not until I know where you're going."
"Mother . . ." Jessie said dangerously, but Jonny reached out and grabbed her by the shoulder.
"We don't know, Estella," Jonny said. That is an honest answer, Estella thought. He's trying. "We just need to get out for a while. I can't face my father again . . . not yet. I . . . I need some time . . ."
Privately, Estella sighed in relief and eyed him for a long moment. He was trying to use his head. She nodded. "That's a good idea. Nothing should be done in anger." Thinking quickly, she continued, "I'll let you go, and I'll even cover for you with both of your fathers . . . at least for a while. But I want a promise in return."
"What?" Jonny asked suspiciously.
"You go out and calm down and then you come back home. You don't disappear. Will you do that?"
Jonny thought about it for a moment, then nodded. "Okay, you have our word . . ."
Estella crossed to him suddenly. I love this boy, she thought silently to herself. Just as much as Race does. She could feel tears welling as she looked up at him. The thought of losing either one of them was all but unbearable. Reaching up, she laid a hand on his cheek. "Come back to us, Jonny. We can't lose you . . ."
He looked down at her with an inscrutable expression for a long moment and then reached up and squeezed her hand in seeming acknowledgement. "We'll come back," he promised again. Then catching Jessie's hand, the two of them slipped out, leaving her standing alone in the middle of Jessie's room.
Estella was sitting in the family room half an hour later when Race and Benton reappeared. Both looked worried and frustrated.
"IRIS, is there any sign of them?" Benton demanded, pacing the room restlessly.
"SENSORS SHOW NO SIGN OF EITHER JONNY QUEST OR JESSIE BANNON ANYWHERE ON THE GROUNDS."
"I just don't understand this," Race snarled in frustration. "They didn't have time to get off of the Compound grounds. They must be here someplace! Why can't IRIS locate them?" He spun around to Benton. "What about the trackers in their watches?"
Before Benton could answer, Estella held up her hand wordlessly. Dangling from one finger were the two Quest watches that Jonny and Jessie had worn since they were about ten. Both men stared at them in shaken silence. Finally Race said, "Where did you find them?"
"They were on the entryway table when I came downstairs," Estella replied quietly. She gazed from one to the other. "Are you both ready to calm down now and act your age?"
Benton snarled wordlessly and flung himself down in front of the nearby computer terminal. "There has to be a way to find them. They can't have gone far! Why isn't IRIS able to locate them? Even without the watches, she ought to be able to identify their movements on the grounds." He worked for a few minutes before uttering a surprised exclamation. Looking up at Race, he said bitterly, "They never left the house. The window was a decoy."
"How do you know?" Race demanded, coming to join Benton at the terminal.
"Because my son has put a lockout on IRIS that causes her sensors to be blind to his and Jessie's movements. Look at the time stamp. This was done almost immediately after that business in the study. It was a hasty job, like he didn't have much time. They were getting ready to run and knew that the instant we found them gone I would ask IRIS to trace them. So they slapped something into the system that gave them a window of opportunity." "When are the two of you going to stop and begin thinking with your heads again?" Estella demanded, the control on her temper slipping. "Do you really want them gone? If they're running it's because your actions are driving them to it! The longer you push them, the further they're going to run."
Race spun to his wife. "You saw them," he accused.
She returned his angry gaze without flinching. "Yes. I saw them and I talked to them."
"Where are they?" Benton demanded, surging to his feet.
"I don't know. They wanted out for a while and I let them go."
"You what?" Benton said incredulously. "Even when you knew we wanted to talk with them?"
"Talk with them?" she questioned sarcastically. "Is that what you call what you've been doing? Furthermore, do you honestly think I could have stopped them?" She reached out and grabbed Benton by the arm urgently. "Benton, think! You weren't talking . . . none of you were. You were furious . . . screaming at each other . . . and you were all saying things you didn't mean. For God's sake, he was trying to do exactly what you always taught him . . . back away until he could think clearly. He was right to get out. By the time I found the two of them, Jonny had calmed down a little and was trying to think rationally. All he wanted was some space . . . an opportunity to calm down so that he could do something other than simply react."
"You don't have any idea where they went?" Race asked, calming down rapidly in the face of his wife's arguments.
"No. When I asked them, Jonny said he didn't know where they were going and I believed him. They just wanted out for a while. I wasn't about to risk alienating them any further by trying to pin them down. I simply got their promise that wherever they went, they would come home again as soon as they had calmed down enough to be able to discuss the situation."
"And you think he will," Race said, seeking reassurance.
"They'll be back," she replied without hesitation. "Jonny promised me, and he doesn't lie."
"Then we'll wait," Race said flatly. "We won't search for them any longer."
"But . . ." Benton started to protest, but Race interrupted him.
"No, Benton. We give them the time they need. She's right. The more we push, the further they'll run. If Jonny promised Estella that the two of them would come back, then they will . . . unless we do something to drive them further away. And that's a risk we can't take right now."
"But . . ." he started to say again, but Race cut him off sharply.
"No. We wait. That's it."
By midnight, neither of the two young people had returned. At Estella's insistence, they left the family room and went to their respective bedrooms. Without even discussing it, they all left the family room light on for their missing family members.
Race and Estella watched as Benton dragged himself slowly up the stairs. His shoulders were slumped and he looked infinitely older than he had just hours before. When they heard the door to his bedroom close, they turned as one and walked silently to their own suite of rooms. It wasn't until the door to the outer corridor closed that either of them said anything.
"What was he thinking, Race?" Estella asked sadly, echoing her husband's earlier question. "What ever possessed him to do something like this?"
Race dropped onto the large sofa and sighed. "I have no idea. I tried to get him to talk to me about it, but he's just clammed up. I haven't seen him like this in years . . . not since the first weeks after Rachel died." He rubbed his eyes wearily. "He used to get that semi-crazed look back then, too."
"Was there anything you could do to make him see reason back then?"
"No," he replied, shaking his head. "He always seemed to need to work through it on his own."
Silence descended again and finally Estella sighed and held out her hand to Race. "This is getting us nowhere," she said. "Let's go to bed."
Race grunted as he stood up and caught her hand. Tugging at it, he pulled her into his arms and held her close. "Please tell me we aren't going to lose them over this, Stel."
She tightened her arms around her husband fiercely. "We won't let that happen," she assured him with all the bravado she could muster. She just hoped she was right.
It was nearing 3:00 a.m. when a soft tapping at the corridor door drew Estella out of the netherworld of near sleep. She flung herself out of bed and ran for the door on bare feet, not even bothering to put a robe on over her nightgown. The light from the large picture hanging on the sitting room wall gave enough light for her to see Jonny standing in the doorway when she opened the door.
"We're back," he said to her softly. "Like we promised."
Estella nodded, unable to say anything because of the tears of relief that threatened to overwhelm her. After a minute, she cleared her throat and asked quietly, "Where's Jessie?"
She saw him tense just as she felt Race at her back. Sudden warmth surrounded her as he wrapped her robe around her shoulders. She looked up to see Race watching Jonny, but he didn't say a word and his face showed no hostility.
Jonny relaxed minutely, and after another moment, he replied. "She's upstairs. She's exhausted so I told her to go on up and that I would let you know we were here." He hesitated and then asked, "Are you okay, Estella? I . . . I didn't hurt you or anything, did I? When I shoved you, I mean. I didn't intend . . ."
"You didn't," she reassured him quickly as she felt Race's arm around her go rigid "You would never hurt me, no matter how angry you were. I know that."
Jonny sighed and closed his eyes in relief. She could almost feel the exhaustion radiating out of him. There was no trace of fury now. Stepping forward, she reached up and laid her hand against his cheek again. She stroked one blonde eyebrow with her thumb as she said softly, "You're tired, Jonny. Go to bed. Things will be better in the morning."
Jonny reached out and caught her in his arms suddenly. Curling his head down, he laid it on her shoulder and buried his face in her neck like a frightened child. She could feel the tremor pass through him as she held him close. "Will it, Estella? Will it ever be better again?"
After a while, she loosened her hold. Catching his face in her hands, she kissed him gently on the forehead and then allowed him to straighten. "Go to bed, son. It's been a hard day." He nodded and then walked away in silence.
Breakfast the next morning was a strained affair. Race and Estella were the first ones up and were sitting at the dining room table when they heard a commotion upstairs. Abandoning their coffee, they made for the sound hastily. When they reached the top of the stairs, they found Benton standing outside the door to Jonny's room. It was obviously locked and Benton was banging on it loudly, trying to rouse his son.
"Jonny, open this door!" he demanded in a raised voice.
Race reached him a fraction of a second before Estella. Grabbing his arm, he dragged the other man back from the door. "Benton, stop it!" he said sharply. "Don't start this again. Come down to breakfast. They will come down when they're ready."
"I want to know where he was," Benton said harshly. "I won't have him . . ."
"It doesn't matter where they were," Estella told him, overriding his protests. "They came home and that's all that matters. Now come downstairs."
Between the two of them, they dragged him downstairs and settled him at the table. Handing him a cup of coffee, Race said urgently, "Benton, listen to me. You simply can't jump Jonny every chance you get. You have got to sit down and talk with him about this like adults. Listen to what he has to say and try to find a solution that both of you can live with." He rapped sharply on the table. "Benton, are you listening to me? I know you're shaken by all of this, but you've got to use some sense. If you don't, it will . . ." He stopped abruptly as Jonny and Jessie walked in. They both disappeared into the kitchen but returned shortly carrying breakfast. Without a word, Jonny sat down and began eating his cereal. Jessie set her bowl on the table and then walked over to the sideboard to pour herself a cup of coffee. She waved the pot at Jonny.
"You want some?" she asked neutrally.
"No thanks," he replied.
"Dad? Mom? Dr. Quest?" Race and Estella both heard the fractional pause before the offer was made to Benton, but there was no sign in her face that the attempted pleasantry was difficult for her. Her parents both shook their heads and Benton replied civilly,
"No thank you, Jessie. I'm fine." Nodding she filled her cup and set the pot on the warmer. Returning to the table, she sat down next to Jonny and began eating her yogurt. As the silence stretched, Benton stirred restlessly. Finally, unable to stand it any longer, he said,
"The two of you were late getting in. Where did you go?" For a minute, Race wondered if either of them was going to answer.
"Out," Jonny finally replied in a voice totally devoid of any sort of emotion.
"Out where," his father persisted.
"Just out." The reply was delivered in a flat, emotionless tone that clearly said the subject should be dropped.
"All right," Benton said after a moment. "If you won't say where you went, then what did you do?"
"Talked," his son replied.
"About what?"
"Things."
"What things?"
Jonny raised his eyes from his cereal bowl and stared straight at his father. The rage of the night before was gone. In its place was a hard, cold implacability that Race had the feeling was going to be worse than the anger. "Things that are no longer any of your business," his son replied icily. Shoving his cereal bowl aside, he rose and turned away, saying, "We're leaving for school now."
"Jonathan Quest, don't you move!" His father's voice was like a lash, freezing Jonny on the spot. "Turn around," Benton commanded when his son showed no sign of doing anything other than standing with his back to him. Slowly, Jonny turned to face him. His face might as well have been carved from stone. "I am not going to apologize for what I did because it was done with only your best interests at heart. I understand that you believe that you truly love Jessie and that you want to be with her for the rest of your lives. But you are 18 years old and no matter how mature you feel, you are a long way from being able to make those kinds of choices. I am not asking you . . . I'm telling you. You're going to step back for a while and give yourselves some space. The separation won't kill you. If the way you feel about each other is as strong as you seem to think it is, it will weather it without a problem."
The silence in the room was profound when Benton finished. After a long moment, he said, "Well?"
"Are you finished now?" Jonny asked coldly.
"Yes," his father replied.
"Fine. Then I'm going to school."
"You will be back?" Estella said quickly. The entreaty in her voice was clear.
Jonny turned to her and all of them saw the stone mask crack fractionally. His voice was warmer as he replied, "Yes, we'll be back. We aren't going anywhere." Turning, he looked down at his girlfriend. "Are you coming, Jess?"
She nodded. "Go on, I'll be right there. Would you get my books for me? They're on my desk." Jonny nodded and walked out without another word.
Setting her spoon down carefully on the table, she looked across at Benton. Her voice was pleading as she said, "Please, Dr. Quest, don't push him like that. I'm trying to talk to him. But when you treat him that way, he gets angry all over again . . ."
"Then it's up to you to make him see reason, Jessie," Benton urged her. "It's for your own good, and it's not really that much to ask, is it?"
Jessie rose from the table and turned to walk out. As she reached the door, she paused and looked back at him again. The pain and disillusionment were clear on her face as she said quietly, "I don't know, Dr. Quest. You tell me. You're the one who's had to live without Rachel for the last twelve years. You tell me how much it is to ask." Without another word, she turned and walked out, leaving Benton Quest staring after her like he'd just been slapped in the face.
Over the course of the next week, relations between Benton and his son grew steadily worse. Breakfast the morning after the confrontation had been only the first of several incidents. Some were similar to the breakfast interchange where Jonny stood silent and withdrawn, not responding in any way at all, and other times Benton seemed to touch some mysterious nerve that would trigger Jonny into verbal anger and the two of them would argue violently. After about a week of that, things quieted a little. Unfortunately, it was not a sign that the rift between the two was narrowing. Race and Estella tried to talk with all three of them several times but none of them were willing to listen.
It was the first week in April, with no end to the hostilities in sight, when Race finally broke down and did something Benton had expressly forbidden him to do. He called Hadji. The phone rang only twice before the eldest of Benton Quest's two sons picked up.
"Hello?"
The sound of the familiar voice caused Race's throat to close up and he had to try twice before he managed to respond.
"Hadji . . . Hadji, it's Race."
"Race! It is good to hear from you. Kefira and I were just talking about calling home. How is everyone?" In the background, he could hear Kefira's warm contralto telling Hadji to say hello from her. The laughter and joy in their voices, so different from the atmosphere at the Compound, caused Race's heart to ache. He knew what telling Hadji about this situation would do to him, and it was the reason that Benton had forbidden anyone to say anything to him. But things had gotten so far out of hand that something had to be done. "Race?" This time there was a note of concern.
Taking a deep breath, Race said quietly, "I'm sorry, Hadji, but we've got a serious problem. We didn't want to bother you with it, but . . . "
"Tell me what is wrong," Hadji commanded.
Race described the events of the preceding weeks. Hadji listened in silence, allowing him to complete the narrative without interruption. Finally, he concluded with, "Estella and I are at our wits end. We don't know what to do any longer. Neither of them are talking to each other, both kids are distant, and I just have the feeling that sooner or later the situation is going to explode and then there will be absolutely no fixing it. Do you have any suggestions?"
"Not immediately." Race could almost see him checking his watch. "It is 7:00 p.m. now. Allowing for half an hour to take care of some things here first, I should be on the road by no later than 7:45. Which will put me home by around 2:30."
"Wait! Hadji, you don't need . . ."
"2:30," the young man said in a voice that allowed for no arguments. Again, Race heard Kefira's voice in the background. "We will both be there."
It was 2:17 when IRIS' soft voice warned him that a car had turned off the main road onto the Compound access road. Confirming that it was one of the Quest vehicles, he told IRIS to open the main gate to allow them through. Rising carefully to keep from disturbing Estella, he pulled on a robe and went to meet the couple at the back door.
"I'm sorry to have to call you like this," he said to them after they had removed their coats. "Your father told me not to, but I didn't know what else to do."
"They are not talking at all?" Hadji asked.
"No," Race said with a shake of his head. Gesturing toward the hall, he said, "Let's go back to our suite. I'm afraid if we stay here in the kitchen it's liable to rouse the others."
Hadji nodded and the three of them moved toward the back of the house. At the foot of the stairs, Kefira stopped. Laying a hand on his arm, she looked at him questioningly. "Would you prefer that I go on upstairs, beloved?" she asked in a whisper. "I . . . I understand that this is family business . . ."
"You are family," he replied in a soft, firm voice. Catching her hand, he drew her with him as they followed Race into his quarters. They found Estella awake and waiting. Kefira went directly to her and hugged her firmly as Race gestured for Hadji to sit.
"How did this happen?" Hadji demanded. "What you have been telling me . . . this is not like Father or Jonny at all."
"I don't know," Race said helplessly. "Something happened . . . something must have happened . . . to trigger it, but Benton won't say what. He just keeps insisting that Jonny and Jessie are too young to be . . ." He cleared his throat, squirming uncomfortably, before continuing, ". . . having sex . . . and that it is in their own best interests to be separated for a time. If you try to push any further, he just shuts down and walks away."
"But he knows the way Jonny gets when that happens," Hadji protested. "How can he possibly believe that Jonny will tolerate it?"
"I don't know! I've tried to reason with him, Hadji. I've tried to reason with both of them . . . but they just won't hear me!"
"What about Jonny and Jessie? What are they saying?"
"Not much," Estella replied, swallowing hard. The two women had sat down side-by-side on the sofa and Kefira squeezed the hand she still held encouragingly. "They are both still cordial with us, which is more than you can say for Benton."
Hadji shook his head. "I do not understand. Describe the way they are acting."
Race sighed. "They're both still pleasant with us. They'll talk about what went on in school that day, what they're planning in the way of outings with their friends. They were even talking about Bobby and Francesca the other day, and you know how Jonny tends to shy away from any discussion of Francesca." He shook his head. "But it's all superficial. They won't discuss what they're feeling, they absolutely will not talk about the situation with Benton, and they will literally walk away if we try to approach the subject of what their plans are after graduation. And as for their relations with Benton . . ." Race scrubbed at his face wearily. "Jonny is absolutely glacial around him. He goes out of his way to avoid being in the same room with your father, and when they are together, he won't say a word unless he has no other choice. And when Benton brings up the subject of Jessie or school . . . " Race finally just trailed off as though he was too tired to even continue. A soft sound of distress caused him to look up at Estella. Tears glistened on her eyelashes as she gazed back at him.
"They argue?" Kefira asked softly.
"No, not any more," Estella replied, reaching up to wipe her eyes. "At first, I thought nothing could be worse that hearing them screaming at each other, but I was wrong. Now it's a contest of wills, fought in silent anger. Every time Benton tries to bring up either of the two 'forbidden' subjects, Jonny just gives him this scathing look and then turns and walks away. Nothing Benton can say will stop him."
"What about Jessie? Is she reacting the same way?" Hadji asked.
Race shook his head. "No. She's at least civil with Benton. She'll talk to him. But not about this. When it first occurred, Benton tried to get Jessie to convince Jonny that they should back off. I never expected that she would . . . " He stumbled to a halt.
"She was hurt, Race," Estella jumped in swiftly. "She never would have said it otherwise."
Hadji looked from one of them to the other. "What did she say?"
Race was silent for a long moment. Finally, he sighed again and replied, "She threw Rachel in his face. Said that he, of all people, ought to know how much he was asking. It hit Benton like a sledgehammer." Race leaned over and put his head in his hands as though it hurt. "God, how did things get to be such a mess?"
The silence was heavy as they all considered that question. Finally, Kefira asked, "How is Dr. Quest treating Jessie now?"
"Better than I would have expected," Race replied, sitting up again. "It's as though he's shut his mind to what happened, pretending she never made the comment. And as long as Benton doesn't try to bring up the subject of their relationship or school, Jessie stays pleasant. She's distant . . . there's no real connection between them, but she's not cold and she doesn't seem to blame him in any way."
"To be honest, I've been a little surprised that she hasn't been more openly antagonistic," Estella commented. "Her loyalties have always lain so firmly with Jonny, and I've been expecting her to start blaming Benton for this whole mess. I asked her about it the other day. It's the only time I've gotten any real kind of an answer from her. She said that she understood that he was having a difficult time adjusting to the changes in his family and that she wouldn't complicate his life by causing him any more pain than she already had."
"I believe we can be grateful that she is taking that stand," Hadji said. "If she was openly angry at Father, I do not believe a solution would ever be possible." Hadji sighed. "I will try and talk with all of them tomorrow. Perhaps they will listen to me since I was not here when it all occurred."
"God, I hope so," Race said fervently. "We can't keep up this way."
The next morning Race was up at 6:00 a.m., as usual, but he saw no sign of activity downstairs. He followed his customary morning routine, scanning the previous night's security tapes, running down the day's research schedule, running the household computer diagnostics, and doing the routine household maintenance. By 10:30, he'd still seen no sign of any of the other family members, even though it was Friday and everybody had commitments of one kind or another. Finally, he went upstairs and knocked on Benton's bedroom door. The response was a long time in coming and when he finally opened the door, Race was seriously alarmed.
Benton was positively gray. Leaping forward, Race caught him, as he seemed to sag and supported him over to the bed.
"What is it?" Race demanded. "What's wrong?"
"Close the door," Benton responded, gesturing at it. Race strode over and closed it quickly. From there, he made straight for the telephone.
"I'll get Barbara Mason out here right away . . ." he started to say, but Benton cut him off.
"No!" He struggled into a sitting position on the bed. "No, Race, I'm alright. There's no need to bother Barbara."
"Benton, you aren't all right! You look awful."
The older man shook his head determinedly. "I'm just tired, that's all. A good night's sleep tonight will take care of it."
"Benton . . ."
"I said no, Race."
"Alright, if you won't let me call her, at least let me take you into her office."
"No. I'm fine, I tell you." Color was returning to his face as he glared up at the younger man. "And I thought I told you that you were not to call Hadji and put him in the middle of this mess! I had him at my door at 7:00 a.m. this morning, all upset over this business with Jonny. Damn it, Race, Hadji has more than enough to worry about already. He doesn't need this, too!"
Race planted his fists on his hips and glared down at the other man. "Well, I had to call someone! Neither you nor Jonny will listen to me, and things are out of control! Maybe Hadji can talk some sense into both of you."
"Damn it, Race, if the boy would just listen . . ."
"Why should he listen, Benton? He's always followed your example and you aren't listening, so why should he?"
"It's not the same thing!"
"Are you so sure about that?" Race asked.
Benton just snorted and stood up. "What did you want?" he asked in a short, angry tone.
"What?"
"You came up here for something. What did you want?"
Race eyed his old friend resignedly, recognizing the all the signs. Benton was angry with him and there'd be no reasoning with him now. With an inward sigh, he replied, "It's almost 11:00. You've got a conference call scheduled with the Oxford publication committee at 11:30 to discuss juried reviews of the articles for the next journal release. Are you still planning on doing it?"
Benton rubbed his forehead, as though trying to clear his head. "Damn. I'd forgotten about that. Yes, I have to. It's already been postponed twice and if we put it off again, we'll miss the publication deadline. I'll get dressed and be right down." As Race started to turn away, Benton stopped him. "Do me a favor, would you?"
"Sure."
"Get me three aspirins, a glass of water, and a very large pot of black coffee. I've got a headache that could crack Mt. Rushmore."
"I wish you'd let Barbara take a look at you. You really don't look well, Benton."
"I'm all right, Race. This business with Jonny is just getting me down, that's all."
"I know."
"I'm sorry I snapped. I know you were only trying to help."
"Forget it."
Benton rubbed his forehead again. "Things will work out . . . won't they?"
Race paused fractionally. "Sure," he replied at last. Then he turned and headed swiftly for the door. "I'll get you that aspirin." And he was gone.
The lack of conviction that was clear in the response left the air silent and heavy in his wake. Benton sank back down onto the bed and wearily dropped his head into his hands.
"Oh, God . . . what have I done?"
It wasn't until mid-afternoon that Race had the chance to draw Hadji aside and talk with him again. The results were discouraging.
"Nothing?" Race said in frustration after Hadji reported his lack of success.
"No," Hadji replied with a sigh, leaning back into the sofa wearily. "Father just kept saying that I shouldn't worry about it . . . that he and Jonny would work it out. And that was forthcoming compared to what I got out of Jonny!"
"What about school? The deadlines for replying to offers of admission are due very soon. Did he give you any indication of what he's planning?"
Hadji shook his head. "No. He simply would not say. Kefira could get nothing more out of Jessie, either." Both men looked up as the door to the Bannon suite opened and Estella and Kefira entered. Kefira went directly to Hadji and settled down beside him, while Estella perched on the arm of Race's chair. "But I think they are planning something," Hadji continued. "They seem very sure of themselves." Hadji shifted uneasily. "They have changed, Race. It is very difficult to explain how, but there is a difference."
"You mean besides being extremely secretive?" Race said, somewhat bitterly.
"The secrecy is simply a by-product of the situation they are in," Hadji replied. "No, I mean they have changed." He stared off into space, trying to explain the differences he sensed. "They seem older and more focused somehow. And the lightheartedness that was always so much a part of Jonny's character is missing. I do not believe I have seen him smile once since I have returned home."
"No," Race agreed. "He doesn't smile much any more. Neither does Jessie, really. She makes the effort, but it never reaches her eyes." He sighed painfully. He just hated this. He suddenly thought of the incident in Benton's room that morning. He hesitated, on the brink of telling Hadji about it, but then reconsidered. Benton was right. Hadji had enough to deal with. He didn't need to be worrying about his father's health, too . . . particularly when Race couldn't be absolutely certain there was anything wrong. "So what do we do?"
"I do not know. The only thing I can think to try is to get things back to some form of normalcy. We still have the party that was postponed at Christmas scheduled for the 16th of the month. I said something about it to Jonny and he said he was planning to cancel. I really think we need to go ahead with it. He and Jessie have isolated themselves, even from our friends. I talked to both Matt and Bobby Evans today and both of them say they have not seen either of them in weeks, other than in passing at school."
"I hadn't realized that," Race said with concern.
Hadji nodded. "I think it would be wise to see if we can draw them out a bit . . . get them to socialize again. Matt has already called Jonny and convinced him that the group of us should go out tonight. He told Jonny that he had heard that Kefira and I are home for the weekend and suggested that we all go out for pizza."
"That's good," Race agreed immediately.
"I am not going to bring up the subject of his estrangement from Father again while Kefira and I are here," Hadji warned. "I have spoken with him about it and he knows that I am concerned. Father is pushing him hard enough, and I do not want to risk alienating him. Sooner or later, he will need someone to talk with, and I want him to feel that I am available when that time comes."
Race nodded. "I understand."
"I am very grateful to you and Estella," Hadji said quietly. "I know that you feel shut out from them, but that is not entirely true. Both of them are hurting a great deal, and the only adults they are relating to at all are the two of you."
Race sighed. "Estella was the only one of us that actually kept her head the day this all blew up. Jonny and Jessie wouldn't be here now if she hadn't stood up to both Benton and I and got us to ease off."
"I know. Jonny told me about Estella finding them in Jessie's room when they were getting ready to run." He turned to Estella and smiled at her gratefully. "It meant a great deal to him that you treated him as an adult."
She nodded in acknowledgement, as Race's brow creased worriedly. "I just wish I knew where they go when they disappear. It bothers me that they can vanish so quickly and so totally. If something should happen to them when they're missing like that . . ."
"I know where they go," Hadji said quietly. "They are safe enough. Allow them to have their retreat, Race. Right now, they really do need it."
Finally, Race nodded. "Alright. If you know where they go, then I'll leave it alone. As long as someone knows how to find them if the need arises." Race looked at the eldest of Benton Quest's sons soberly. Of the two, Hadji had always been more introspective . . . the intuitive one. After a moment's hesitation, Race asked, "Hadji, do you have any idea what's behind all of this? This is so incredibly out of character for both of them. I just don't understand any of it."
Hadji contemplated the question. "It is not so out of character for Jonny," he pointed out finally. "He is reacting exactly as he has always done when Jessie is threatened. He is being fiercely protective. The only thing that makes it different this time is that he is protecting their relationship rather than it being in defense of her physical well-being."
"But it's not like him to be so secretive," Race protested. "Or so distant. It's not like either one of them!"
"How else should they be, Race?" Kefira asked quietly. They all turned to stare at her and she returned their looks calmly. "You expect the two of them to treat you the way they always have in the past, and you are bewildered because they do not. What you must remember is that this has seriously undermined their faith in the people they have always held in the highest of respect. They do not ,trust you any longer . . . particularly Dr. Quest." She looked at Race and Estella levelly. "Jonny is much more distrustful of all three of you than Jessie is. She is still prepared to give you the benefit of the doubt . . . at least up to a certain point. There seems to be a reason for that, but I have been unable to determine what it is. As for Jonny," she glanced at Estella quickly, "he trusts you, Estella, more than he does Race or his father. I believe Hadji is right . . . this is a result of the way you treated him back in March when this first began. And I do not believe he has any particularproblem with you, Race. However, for most of Jonny's life, you have been his father's closest friend, confidant, and substitute authority figure. He simply cannot disassociate the two of you. Therefore, because he has such a strong distrust of his father right now, he also has no choice but to distrust you, as well. I think that is the source of the secrecy."
Hadji nodded firmly. "I agree completely. Unfortunately, I believe it does mean that until we can find a way to rebuild that trust between Jonny and Father, the two of you will continue to be 'left out in the cold'."
Race sighed. "Okay, I'll buy that. It makes sense. And I certainly didn't help matters any by initially seeming to back Benton in his actions the night Jonny confronted him. But that still doesn't explain whatever possessed Benton to have Jonny's admission pulled in the first place. That is what I really don't get." He sat back in his chair, running an agitated hand through his short, white hair. "It's just not like Benton to do something as underhanded as this to Jonny. Why, Hadji," he asked the young man beseechingly. "Why would he do this?"
Hadji just shook his head. "I do not know."
The silence that followed that statement was heavy. Finally, Kefira said hesitantly, "Perhaps . . ." They all focused on her sharply and her voice trailed off under their intent gazes.
"Go on," Race encouraged her anxiously. "What is it?"
"Yes, my love," Hadji said, taking her hand. "What have you seen that we have missed?"
Kefira shook her head slowly. "No, it is nothing that I have seen, but more a . . . a differing perspective on the situation, perhaps."
"Go on," Race said again, leaning forward intently.
Kefira took a deep breath and then said slowly, "The four of you . . . Dr. Quest, Race, Jonny and Hadji . . . have always been incredibly close. Am I correct about that?"
Hadji nodded and Race replied, "Yes. Always."
"Has there been a difference in that closeness between individuals?"
"No," Race replied.
"Yes," Hadji said at exactly the same instant. The two of them stared at each other, startled.
"What do you mean, 'yes'?" Race demanded.
"There was always a difference between Father's interaction with Jonny and his with me," Hadji replied.
"No, there wasn't," Race protested.
"Yes, there was," Hadji insisted. "Father always tended to keep Jonny closer then he did me. He was more defensive of him and always watched him more closely."
"He didn't, Hadji!" Race replied strongly. Then he modified it slightly. "At least not due to any difference in the amount of love he had for the two of you. If he did that at all, it was only because Jonny was more of a daredevil and more prone to getting into trouble than you were, so he watched Jonny more closely. We could trust your common sense where we couldn't always do that with Jonny." Race spread his hands in a semi-shrug. "Jessie was the same way. We had to watch her more closely, too."
Hadji leaned forward, speaking earnestly, "Race, do not think I felt slighted or got the feeling I was any less loved because of the difference. I did not. I never doubted that Father loved me. But that does not change the fact that he was more intense in the focus that he turned on Jonny . . . whether any of you realized it or not."
Race started to protest again, but Kefira interrupted. "And perhaps that is significant." She looked at the others solemnly. "I have watched and listened to all of you. You are all very distressed and you are all asking 'why' of each other. Let me ask you something else . . . what?"
"I don't understand," Race said.
"Neither do I," Hadji agreed.
"I think I see," Estella said softly, her eyes glittering with the stirrings of understanding. "It's the wrong question, isn't it," she said softly. "Not 'why is he doing this to Jonny,' but rather, 'what is causing him to do this to Jonny'."
"It's the same question," Race protested irritability.
"No, it is not," Kefira said, shaking her head. "The 'why' question implies that the source of the problem lies with Jonny or with the interaction between Jonny and his father. The 'what' question tries to determine what it is about Dr. Quest that is driving this situation."
"You're implying that this goes deeper than just a father's distress over the life choices his son is making," Race said slowly.
"I have two brothers and two sisters," Kefira said. "I grew up watching my father interacting with my siblings . . . watched him arguing with Sumant about the decisions he made that drew him further and further away from the family business . . . watched him finally come to realize that his eldest son would never have an interest in those things that gave him reason to look forward to each new day . . . watched him turn his focus to my younger brother, even though Srinivasan was way too young to have any idea what Father was talking about . . . and watched him as he opened his eyes and finally saw me as something other than his middle daughter that liked to spend time with him and who got under his feet. And in all of those interactions, my father was driven much less by his concern for us as he was driven by his own personal goals and aspirations." Kefira shook her head at the looks she received. "It is not self-centered." She pointed at Race and Estella. "Don't all parents have hopes and goals for their children? Don't you work to provide the best for them . . . education, healthcare, home environment . . . and work toward those goals?" She pointed at Estella. "Be honest . . . wasn't there a time when you had visions of what Jessie would be when she grew up? Perhaps even hoping that she would follow in your footsteps?"
Estella nodded slowly. "Yes. Yes, I did."
Beside her, Race nodded, but then added, "But that's a lot different than trying to force a child who is almost grown into doing something against their will."
"Yes, it is," she agreed, "but the root cause may be the same, particularly if something else is serving as a motivating factor."
"You think Benton's break with Rachel's memory at Christmas set this up," Estella said flatly.
"I think that Dr. Quest has struggled since that day," Kefira affirmed softly. "He was already severely stressed. Think about it," she urged them. "Think about all the things he has been through in the last six months. His family . . . those people he surrounds himself with that he truly cares about . . . are his emotional foundation. And in the last six months, he has faced the possible permanent loss of almost all of you. In at least one case, he went for a prolonged period of time thinking that Jonny actually was dead. Hadji has told me how devastating that was for him. Then Jonny had that episode at Christmas and Dr. Quest was forced to reassess his continued attachment to his wife's memory, finally putting her 'ghost' to rest. But what did that cost him? Especially in light of everything that happened immediately previous to this monumental decision?"
"I can buy that, but where does it get us?" Race asked in frustration. "Does it bring us any closer to a solution to the current situation?"
Hadji shook his head slowly. "I do not know. If Kefira is right, I think that perhaps Father needs to seek help to resolve his issues. But how do we tell him that?"
"Very cautiously," Estella said with a grimace. "He's incredibly touchy right now and we don't dare push him too hard."
"You've got that right," Race said. "He damned near took my head off this morning over calling you, Hadji. He's just too wrapped up and defensive to be thinking rationally."
"Well, if we cannot approach Father, I suppose we must continue to try to reason with Jonny and Jessie." Glancing at his watch, Hadji sighed and rose. "Kefira and I need to go. We will be leaving to meet Matt and Bobby very soon and I want to change clothes before we go out." Obediently, Kefira rose to stand beside him. "I do not think you should expect us in very early. We are going to try to get Jonny and Jessie to relax tonight. If we can accomplish that, perhaps they will be more willing to talk with us about what they are planning."
"Alright. We'll plan to see you in the morning then." After the young couple disappeared into the hallway, Race turned to his wife. "Do you think Hadji's right, Stel?" She gestured for him to join her and he moved to sit next to her on the couch.
"About Benton needing professional help?" she queried, as he put his arm around her shoulders. He nodded and she snuggled down into the crook of his arm. "I don't know, Race." She sighed wearily. "I just don't know . . . "
The next day Hadji reported that they all had a good time. Unfortunately, the opportunity to get out of the strained atmosphere and relax didn't accomplish what Hadji had hoped. Jonny still refused to discuss his future plans with his brother. By the time Hadji and Kefira had to leave to return to New York, things were much the same. One positive thing did come out of the weekend. The plans for the belated Christmas party would continue. Initially, Jonny had not wanted to bother, but Hadji convinced him that it would be a disappointment to their friends if they didn't hold it as planned. Then, they had encountered an unexpected problem when Benton declared sullenly that he wouldn't allow it. Thankfully, that declaration had not been made in Jonny and Jessie's presence, and Hadji had been able to convince his father to change his mind.
Mid-April came and the long postponed party was finally held. The crowd was huge and for the first time in ages both Jonny and Jessie appeared to relax. Both of them laughed and joked with their guests and Benton mingled easily with the young people. The only incident that marred the evening was a tense few minutes with Admiral Bennett, who had shown up to see Benton. But the continuing strain was taking its toll on all of them. Benton continued to look exhausted and his enthusiasm for work was failing. Jonny had fallen largely silent and Jessie had mentioned to her mother he sometimes had trouble eating. For her part, Jessie had a haunted looked about her and Race had caught her several times observing Benton with a deep look of longing. Even Hadji, the most even-tempered of them all, had become angry when Admiral Bennett tried to question him about the unrest being reported from Bangalore.
Nor were he and Estella immune. Race knew his temper was developing a shorter and shorter fuse, and several times he caught himself yelling at Estella for no good reason. And where she would normally have turned on him in anger at such an incident, now she was just as likely to dissolve into tears and run from him instead. He'd also found her sick and shaking in their bathroom more than once. He knew that none of them would be able to continue under these conditions for much longer.
Race's initial fear that Jonny and Jessie would finally get their fill of the situation and simply vanish slowly died away as the days passed and neither of them showed any signs of leaving. They both continued to disappear periodically, but never for more than a day at a time, and rarely both at the same time. He became more and more certain that Hadji was right . . . they were planning something. Race didn't know what it was, but he got the feeling that when he found out, he wouldn't like it much.
"We have an announcement," Jessie said quietly at the breakfast table on a beautiful mid-May morning about four weeks later. They were all there. High school commencement had been held two days before and Hadji and Kefira had returned for the event. Benton had hosted a graduation party for the two of them in Rockport the next day and a large crowd had gathered for it. Race had overheard snatches of conversation throughout the event . . . discussions of what was next for each of the graduates. During it all, not one word was mentioned about Jonny and Jessie's intentions. But here it came. Race knew it with a certainty that twisted his gut into knots.
"So you're finally going to let us in on the secret?" Benton asked sourly.
Don't do this, Benton, Race begged silently. Don't antagonize them now. You have too much to lose . . .
Jessie continued as though Benton hadn't spoken. "I've been admitted to M.I.T. and I'll be starting in the fall." She took a deep breath. "But I'm leaving this week."
Race stared at her, stunned. "This week? But . . ."
She gave her father an open, level look. "Yes. I'm going to spend the summer working in Boston." Her look completed the sentence. And I want out of this house.
"What are you going to do about a place to live?" her mother questioned.
"I've already found a two bedroom apartment in a good neighborhood. It's furnished, so there won't be that to worry about. The furniture isn't what I would have chosen, but it will do. It's also ready for occupancy so moving in this week won't be a problem. The deposits are paid, the utilities have been turned on, and the lease is already signed, so I think everything is set."
Race cleared his throat. "What about the rent? Being in the city, it's bound to be high."
"Rent isn't a problem," Jonny replied evenly. "I've already found a job. I'll be doing programming and webpage design for a large tech firm in the city. The salary is almost obscenely high, and it's full time so it comes with bonuses, profit-sharing and a full benefits package. I've even confirmed that they don't make a distinction between wives and significant others as long as they are listed as a dependent with the company, so I'll be able to cover Jess under my benefits package without a problem. I've signed all the papers and been through the official orientation. I start full time next Monday." The sound of Benton's coffee cup hitting the table echoed in the dead silence.
Finally, Hadji said carefully, "It sounds like a wonderful opportunity. How did you locate the position?"
Jonny shrugged. "I called a number of people I've met over the years, and let them know that I was in the market for work in the Boston area. It just so happens that one of them works as an occasional consultant for this company and knew about the position. He spoke to them about me and got them to agree to at least talk to me. The day I was there for the interview, they had a systems crash and I offered to help them try to find the problem. I explained that the system they use is one that we did most of the early development work on several years ago, so I was already familiar with the code. They were desperate, so they agreed to let me try. I was able to access some of the old diagnostic routines that we'd left in from the beta development work and using those, it didn't take long to discover that one of their programmers had been modifying some of the base operating code and had screwed it up. Luckily, it was an easy fix, and I must have made an impression because they called and offered me the job the next day." He shot a hard look at Benton, who was staring at him numbly. "I also made certain that they understood that my father would probably not be in favor of my taking the position and that they might be subjected to some pressure to withdraw the offer. They told me that they appreciated the warning and would see to it that their corporation officers were aware of the situation so they could be ready if that pressure was brought to bear."
After a moment, Benton sputtered, "But . . . but . . . what about school? Surely, you aren't . . ."
"I'm not planning on attending school," Jonny told his father flatly. "I probably will eventually, but as you pointed out to me so eloquently not too long ago, I'm young and I've got my whole life ahead of me. I see no point in being in any hurry." Jonny stood abruptly. "Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going to go up and start packing. Matt and Mike are supposed to be here tomorrow around 1:00 to help Jess and I start loading a truck with our things. We should be finished by tomorrow evening or the day after, and then we'll be out from under your feet." Turning, Jonny strode out of the dining room with Jessie at his heels. Hadji looked from Jonny's retreating back to his father's face. Then, without another word, he and Kefira rose and hurried out after the pair.
Pale and shaken, Benton sat staring after them for a long time. Finally, he raised his eyes and looked at Race.
"They can't do this," he whispered hoarsely.
"Unfortunately, they can," Race replied, trying to keep his voice even. "And they have. I tried to warn you, Benton. I told you that you didn't want to alienate Jonny over his relationship with Jess. Those two are 18 going on 80, and they become like a concrete wall when they get their backs up. Haven't the last couple of months taught you that yet? You've seen it before. What's more, unlike most kids their age, they are more than capable of making an outstanding living on their own . . . school or no school."
Benton opened his mouth to reply, but Race cut him off, growing angrier by the minute.
"You want to know the hard truth? Those two don't need us any longer. They haven't for a long time, now. What kept them here was their love for us and the other members of this family. If you don't get down off of your high horse pretty damned soon and try to make peace with that boy, you're going to lose your son for good. And there's a damned good chance I'm going to lose my daughter right along with him!"
"I was only trying to look out for his best interests!"
"Bullshit!" Race said fiercely, totally losing his hold on his temper. Estella laid a hand on his arm, trying to calm him, but the frustration and tension of the prior months finally got the better of him. "It's time you face up to the truth, Benton Quest. This entire situation has nothing to do with Jonny. It has to do with you. I watched you finally let go of Rachel at Christmas, and I was glad to see it. It was time . . . long past time. Unfortunately, rather than learning to cope on your own, you transferred your emotional anchorage to Rachel's son. So when you were faced with the evidence that Jonny was growing up a whole lot faster than you were ready for, you tried throwing up every conceivable roadblock you could think of. And all it did was drive a wedge between the two of you. For God's sake, Benton, he's getting ready to walk out of this house! Can't you understand that it might be for the very last time? If you let him get away without trying to mend the rift between the two of you, you may never see him again. Is that really what you want???"
Benton rose from the table and strode out of the room without saying a word. Race dropped his head into his hands and sat motionless, making no move to try to follow.