Series: Taking Time
Title: Alter Ego
Author: Harmony
Rating: PG-13
Description: Buffy and Spike go back in time, and see the events that shaped their lives, and that will change their relationship forever.
Pairing: B/S
Disclaimer: The characters are merely my puppets for the day. Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy are head puppeteer guys. They pull the strings.
Distribution: Free Again (http://www.441creative.com/jo) and anyone else I've given permission to. If you want it, e-mail me: harmony@441creative.com
Feedback: Imagine a world without shrimp. Well, I really like shrimp. Feedback is my shrimp.
Dedications: Well…my family as usual. And you know what? James Marsters, and Sarah Michelle Gellar. Cos they create these characters for me.
---
They'd called a truce. For now, while they were stuck being the playthings for the siblings that sent them here, they would get on, and help each other through the hard parts of their journey.
Now Buffy was deep in thought, as they trudged around waiting for the next time shift.
"How old were you when you turned?" she asked
Spike shot her a sideways glance
"25. Why?"
Buffy nodded and shrugged
"So somewhere there's a five year old Spike? This is twenty years before you were vamped right?"
Spike exhaled a puff of air
"Uhh…yes. And the house I lived in is too far away for us to walk to, so no, you can't go visit baby Spike and make googly eyes at him"
Buffy opened her mouth to respond, but closed it again. Spike knew exactly what she was going to suggest.
"Oh, spoil my fun. I'd have liked to have seen an innocent you though…see what you were like before you learnt to say Bloody Hell"
As if on cue, the scenery changed, and they stepped into another part of London.
Spike nodded appreciatively as he looked at Buffy.
She now wore a deep red dress, with a straight floor length skirt, and a low cut bodice. Her hair was piled on her head, in curls, held up with a small ribbon.
Buffy looked down at herself, and smiled a half smile.
"Wow" she sighed, twisting a little, flaring the skirt out.
"Pretty much" Spike approved.
Buffy finally looked up from the silk material, and smiled again
"You uh…you changed too," she said, grinning.
Spike did a comedic double take, as he looked at the black suit he wore. A single-breasted jacket, with a red waistcoat, black shirt, and trousers. Buffy had to admit that he looked amazing. The bleached hair didn't even look out of place, as he still wore his usual red and black.
Spike, on the other hand, wasn't happy
"Where's my duster?" Spike started patting down the suit, and looking around "It can't just be gone"
Buffy raised her eyebrow
"Umm, frenzied much?" she frowned
"I've had my duster for 24 years" Spike shook his head "I knew something was off about that Kerensa woman"
Buffy laughed as she started off again. Spike ran to catch up; looking over his shoulder, hoping the jacket had turned up.
"Did you figure this out before or after you verbally undressed each other?" she giggled. Spike glared back
"It's alright for you…you look great. I look like a pillock" he sighed.
Buffy looked at him again, and shook her head.
"You look fine. Don't be a big baby" Buffy slowed down her walk "I actually have no clue where I'm going"
"Still London, and I recognise that hou-oh no…god no" Spike brought a hand to his mouth, and shook his head in absolute horror.
Buffy became instantly worried, and bent down a little into a fighting stance, out of habit.
"What? What is it?" she asked, looking all around her. No demons. No vampires, with the exception of Spike. The only sound was classical music coming from a large house across the street.
"Oh, nothing. I thought I saw someone I knew" Spike lied, and turned around "Let's…find out when we are"
Buffy resisted his tug on her arm, and stared at him. He eyed the house nervously.
"What are you hiding? What's in that house that you don't want me to see?" Buffy turned back towards the brightly lit windows and sounds of glasses clinking, and people laughing. What could possibly be making Spike so nervous?
"Oh, I…uh…massacred them all. The whole bloody lot of them. Oh yeah, in five minutes, you'll see me and Dru go in, and rip their intestines out, and come out again, with blood on our hands…laughing. We laughed at them when we killed them. Cos I was, still am, a bad evil nasty vampire" Spike blurted quickly, before grabbing Buffy's arm again "I don't think you want to see it"
Buffy could tell he was lying, and she placed her free hand on her hip.
"Massacred them, huh?" She felt a smile tug at the corners of her lips
"Oh yeah…real brutal, like" Spike flashed his wicked smile, and Buffy put on a frown
"I really wouldn't want to see that" Buffy shook her head, and Spike let go of her arm.
"I know. Evil thing I did in my past" Spike and Buffy headed away from the house, and Buffy heard Spike sigh with relief. As he relaxed from his hysteria, Buffy grinned wickedly, turned in the other direction, and sprinted back towards the house, laughing all the way.
"Bloody Hell, Buffy!" Spike shouted as he gave chase.
He caught up with her, as she straightened her dress, and hair at the Victorian door, that hid a secret that he'd hoped she'd never find out about.
Spike grabbed her wrist as she reached for the knocker.
"Do you really want to go into a party, in a time period that you know nothing about, and chat to the people who will be all over you because you happen to be American, and also the prettiest girl there?" Spike attempted to reason with her, but instead prompted a devilish smile. Buffy cocked her head
"I don't hear screaming, Spike. Have we arrived to early? You mean I won't get to see your massacre?" Buffy raised an eyebrow, and Spike hung his head
"So I didn't massacre them. I just know there was a party here, and…I wasn't invited. I didn't want you to go in, because it's not your scene" Spike bit the inside of his lip, and Buffy rolled her eyes
"How do you know I'm the prettiest girl if you don't know who's in there?" she challenged.
Spike groaned. She saw right through him
"Well, it's a given. Nobody comes close to you" Spike said, half trying to stop her going in, and half telling the truth.
Buffy took a deep breath
"Nice try, Casanova. Are you going to play along?" Buffy didn't give him a chance to answer, before knocking on the door.
Spike leant down to her ear
"I am going to make your life hell at any possible opportunity," he whispered. Buffy just shrugged, and beamed at the doorman.
"You're not wearing a coat, ma'am? It is rather chilly out," the man said, conversationally. Buffy smiled, and Spike nodded at him.
Spike took Buffy's hand, and led her down the stairs. At the bottom, people milled about holding wine glasses, and canapés, laughing at anecdotes.
Buffy glanced about the room, and suddenly felt glad of the hand that held hers. So many strangers. So much conversation about topics she didn't know how to begin to talk about.
Spike looked back at her, and walked with her to a seat, in the corner of the room.
"See? Told you it wasn't your type of thing. Not exactly the Bronze is it?" Spike said, as he sat down, pulling her down beside him.
"What were you so worried about?" Buffy asked, looking around the room again. It became clear that they'd been dressed to fit in with this crowd of people. Many women wore dresses like hers.
"I just don't like this crowd. I know half the people here, and I don't want to be recognised" Spike shifted a little into the corner of the L shaped seat, hiding himself.
"They're vampires?" Buffy whispered, eyeing the red "wine" in someone's glass.
"Uh…bloodsuckers would be a pretty good description," Spike muttered. He met eyes with a man across the room, who looked in their direction. Buffy noticed him too, and smiled.
Spike followed the man's gaze, and saw he wasn't looking at them, but rather at Buffy, with an appreciative smile. Spike glared back at the man, and put his arm around Buffy. He pulled her towards him, and flashed his game face at the other man. Spike grinned, as the man jumped, and turned away, shaking a little.
Buffy slapped Spike's arm for his efforts.
"Uh, hello possessive guy"
Spike smiled widely at her
"I told you…I'd make your life hell. I'm just getting started"
Buffy sighed, and stood up.
"Well, you can't do it, if I'm not with you" she said, balling her fists on her hips.
"Where are you going?" Spike hissed.
"To get some wine. You want some?" Buffy smiled sweetly.
Spike stood up, and took her hand again
"I'll come with you"
Spike figured he could steer Buffy away from certain places he didn't want her to go. Buffy, for all her slayer strength and almost fearless nature, was once again glad to have him there. She'd be lost if someone approached her.
Halfway to the waiter that walked around with a tray of champagne flutes, someone did approach them. Two men, and a woman. The woman wore red, like Buffy, and the men wore suits.
Buffy looked between Spike and the two men, who leered at her in the most proper way, and clutched his arm. She could feel the muscles in his arm contracting, as he clenched and unclenched his fist. She looked at his jaw, and saw that he was also gritting his teeth. Spike didn't like these people for some reason. Buffy looked back at the three people. They looked like a pack of wolves, hunting for prey. They thought they'd found it in the small, shy woman, and her acquaintance with the odd coloured hair.
"Good Evening" the woman said, in a plummy English accent, looking at Buffy with contempt "Are you enjoying yourselves?"
"Oh…yes. It's a lovely party," Buffy said, trying, and failing to hide her accent.
The woman looked positively giddy, as she listened to Buffy's reply. Excitedly, she turned to her male counterparts, and smiled.
"You're American? What part?" she asked. Spike was engaged in a one sided glaring contest with the brunette male, who had moved closer to Buffy on her left side.
"Umm, Southern California" Buffy edged towards Spike, as she noticed the man coming closer.
"Really? My cousin lives in Boston" The second man, with sandy coloured hair, said "Do you come from California also?" he asked Spike
"No. No, I'm English" Spike said, none too subtly moving between the brunette man and Buffy.
"What brings you to London, uh…sorry I didn't catch your name?" the woman asked.
"You didn't catch her name, because she didn't tell you" Spike muttered. Buffy hid a smile.
"Buffy…Buffy Summers. I'm in London because…" Spike opened his mouth to answer, but closed it when Buffy continued, "We're newly married"
Spike shot a smile at the suddenly crestfallen man, who had shown too much interest in Buffy.
"Buffy? That's a rather unusual name," the woman laughed, ignoring the part about marriage.
"You think so? I like it" Buffy wasn't offended, but thought she could get there if the woman continued to laugh at her.
"I rather like it too, darling" he said to Buffy, laying a kiss on her forehead "It's not as common, as say…Katherine"
The woman raised an eyebrow
"That's my name," she said, sounding offended
"I know…" Spike grinned. Buffy shot "Katherine" a triumphant smile.
"I say, do I know you? You look rather familiar," the light haired man asked. Spike shrugged
"I don't think so, mate" Spike muttered, walking away with Buffy.
"Okay, I should have just stayed sitting down. Who the hell did they think they were?" Buffy stared at the woman's back, as they laughed about something.
"They are the types of humans that make vampires look good," Spike said. Then the moment he'd been dreading happened. Buffy suddenly squeezed his arm, and pointed at something a few feet away. He braced himself for the explanation
"Spike…it's you!" she exclaimed.
"Okay, yeah, so I was here. And yeah, I didn't have bleached hair. But that doesn't mean I'm not bad. What can you tell from appearances anyway?"
Buffy wrinkled her nose, and shook her head
"You're in the mirror" she clarified. Spike rolled his eyes, and looked in the direction that she was pointing.
"Bloody Hell" he muttered, moving closer to the mirror on the wall.
"Surprised?" Buffy said, smiling, at his reflection
"Why the hell didn't you tell me?" Spike ran a few fingers through his hair. Buffy frowned
"I kind of like your hair" she blushed. Spike smiled back at her in the mirror, and then shook his head
"No, I don't mean that. Why didn't you tell me I was so bloody good looking?" Spike looked at his face from all angles, as Buffy rolled her eyes.
"Wow, your ego just got boosted by 150%," she laughed.
Spike ran his thumb over the scar on his eyebrow.
"Even this looks pretty cool" He looked at Buffy in the mirror again, looking for confirmation.
"I guess…can't imagine you without it" Buffy was rapidly becoming embarrassed. She was agreeing with his assessment of himself.
"So answer me a question. Why don't you like me? I mean, look at me" Spike grinned at his reflection, enjoying the way he looked with a smile.
Buffy glared at him, but let him have his moment.
"One, you do things that make me forget you are good looking. Two, I imagined what you'd be like looking in the mirror, and decided I could never date someone who was in love with themselves more than me" Buffy laughed, despite the depth to her words. Spike stood away from the mirror, and smiled
"Well…I haven't seen myself in lots of years. I got a little excited is all" Spike stole a glance in the mirror as they walked back to the main part of the party "So you find me attractive then?"
Buffy shrugged
"You do know that you are never to bring this up when we get back to Sunnydale? Because then we aren't friends. We're enemies again. This truce is only until we get home" Buffy stalled. Spike nodded "Well, then I suppose you are pretty good looking"
Spike smiled, in satisfaction, and squeezed her hand. Buffy smiled back again, and was in danger of getting lost in his deep blue eyes, when she spotted something over his shoulder.
"Spike…it's you again" she said, tapping his shoulder
"Another mirror?" Spike said, turning around excitedly. Instead he saw himself sitting away from the party, questioning a waiter.
"Oh crap," he muttered, as Buffy moved towards his clone.
"Oh, quickly! I'm the very spirit of vexation. What's
another word for "gleaming"? It's a perfectly perfect word as many
words go but the bother is nothing rhymes, you see" The other Spike asked the waiter,
who simply smiled back, and walked away.
Buffy looked at the different Spike. He wore a suit similar to the other men around the room, and had a pair of glasses perched on his nose. His hair was a sandy coloured floppy style. In his hand, was a page of writings. She looked at the embarrassed Spike behind her, and shook her head in question.
"Buffy Summers, meet William" he sighed, pointing at the man who now stared across the room.
Buffy raised her eyebrows, and smiled
"This is why you didn't want me to come here," she said, not expecting an answer. Spike was busy staring at himself.
"Cecily..." William whispered. Buffy turned to look at the woman that William had been looking at. She wore a white dress, with a purple frilled sash around the neckline. William went back to his poem, and wrote a few more words, before getting up
"Are you a vampire?" Buffy asked.
Spike glared at Cecily
"No. But that isn't me. We're two different people" Spike was on the defensive.
Cecily had positioned herself on the outside of a conversation with the three people who had cornered them earlier.
"Poor woman" Buffy laughed. Spike was suddenly very interested in his alter ego, as he hovered on the outskirts, looking longingly at Cecily.
"You…uh, I mean, William loved her," Buffy said, smiling at the soppy expression on William's face.
"Yeah, he did" Spike muttered.
"Why are you getting so defensive, Spike?" Buffy asked, taking a seat so she could watch and listen.
"Buffy, this isn't a bloody cinema" he snapped. Buffy rolled her eyes and pulled him down beside her.
"Ah, William! Favour us with your opinion. What do you make
of this rash of disappearances sweeping through our town? Animals or thieves?"
the light haired man asked the shy William. Buffy felt as though she would find
out why Spike had been so tense around them before.
"I prefer not to think of such dark, ugly business at all. That's what the police are for. I prefer placing my energies into creating things of beauty" William replied, snootily. Spike groaned as the poem was snatched from William's hand.
"Can we just go, pet?" he asked, impatiently. Buffy shook
her head. There was something about William that explained a lot about Spike. Like
his capacity for love, it explained why he loved so fully. The way he looked at
Cecily, like she was a goddess.
"I see. Well, don't withhold, William" the moustachioed
aristocrat, flicked the paper to straighten it.
"Rescue us from a dreary topic" the snooty women drawled.
"Careful. The inks still wet. Please, it's not finished"
William pleaded, reaching for the paper. Spike put his head in his hands, as he
felt his cool, big bad persona dying right in front of him. Buffy would
probably laugh at him.
"Don't be shy," The protagonist said. He lifted the paper, and began to read "My heart expands 'tis grown a bulge in it, inspired by your beauty, effulgent" The people in the crowd began to laugh at the poem "Effulgent?" the man teased. Cecily glanced at William, before moving away to sit alone.
Buffy watched, and turned to Spike, who still hid his face.
"What's her deal?" she asked. Spike looked up and shook his head
"Who?"
"Cecily" Buffy nodded towards the woman.
Spike wrinkled his nose
"You did hear the poem, right?" he scoffed, as William walked past them to sit with Cecily.
"I thought it was pretty good" Buffy shrugged. Spike smiled
a little, assuming she was just trying to make him feel better.
"And that's actually one of his better compositions" The leering man laughed. The woman giggled
"Have you heard? They call him William the Bloody because of his bloody awful poetry!"
Spike groaned again, and Buffy giggled, ignoring the glare that Spike aimed at her.
"It suits him. I'd rather have a railroad spike through my head than listen to that awful stuff!" the man exclaimed.
Buffy glanced wide-eyed at Spike, who looked at the floor. She'd always wondered where he picked that name up.
Spike seemed to remember something, and he tried to lead Buffy away again.
"Come on, you've seen the not so bad me. Maybe we should go," he said. Buffy resisted, and focused her attention on William and Cecily.
"Please? I just want to see what happened…" Buffy pouted, and Spike folded. He couldn't resist. Maybe she'd learn something from what she was about to see.
"Cecily?"
The demure woman turned to face William, and sighed as he sat down.
"Oh. Leave me alone" she almost gasped, as she fanned herself.
"Oh, they're vulgarians. They're not like you and I" William
laughed a little, gesturing at the small crowd of people.
"You and I? I'm going to ask you a very personal question and I demand an honest answer. Do you understand?" Cecily looked down at William, who nodded, just basking in the company of the woman he loved.
"She's got attitude problems," Buffy muttered. Spike mumbled an agreement, from the hand that covered his mouth.
"Your poetry, it's... they're... not written about me, are
they?" Cecily asked, stumbling over her words
"They're about how I feel" William replied. Buffy began to
see some of Spike in him. Not the violence loving killer, but the man that
loved Drusilla with all of his heart…the man that loved her. Somewhere in her
thoughts, Buffy's hand held Spike's. She didn't know why, and neither did he.
"Yes, but are they about me?"
William inhaled a large breath
"Every syllable" he said as he exhaled.
"Oh, God!" Cecily exclaimed, dismayed.
"Oh, I know... it's sudden. Please, if they're no good,
they're only words but... the feeling behind them... I love you, Cecily" As
William spoke, Spike sighed. Buffy felt a tingle run down her spine. It was so
similar to the way Spike had told her.
"Please stop!" Cecily stood up now, making William feel
smaller than he already did.
"I know I'm a bad poet but I'm a good man and all I ask is that...that you try to see me" Cecily cut off William's words.
"I do see you. That's the problem. You're nothing to me, William" Spike held a breath he didn't need, and thought back to the night he'd comforted her on her porch "You're beneath me" Cecily finished.
Spike heard a short sharp breath from Buffy, and felt her hand drop from his.
William watched his love leave, and Buffy blinked back tears
"You're beneath me…" Buffy whispered, remembering the very thing Spike had remembered. She turned to Spike, and he smiled nervously "I'm sorry" she muttered, walking hurriedly out of the party. William was close behind, though not chasing Buffy, and Spike followed her.
He caught sight of her running down an alleyway, to hide for a few minutes, getting her head clear.
William walked along, ripping the paper, and crying. Spike remembered the pain, and wished he could tell William what was about to happen to him. How he'd be turned, and his unlife would begin. The unlife that led to 120 years with Dru. The unlife that led to Buffy, the light in his dark world. William walked along, bumping into Angelus, Darla and Dru. Spike was surprised to see them. He never knew it was them that he'd run into. His human self walked into the alleyway that Buffy had gone into, and Spike cursed. He couldn't get in there now, without being seen.
Instead, he sprinted around to the other entrance to the alleyway.
---
Buffy's sob hitched in her throat, as William walked into the light, throwing pieces of paper away. She was well hidden in the shadows, and now she watched curiously.
"And I wonder…what possible catastrophe came crashing down from heaven and brought this dashing stranger to tears?" Buffy turned towards the voice, and was shocked to see Drusilla. She hadn't heard her. Spike came up behind her, giving her a third shock, and he squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.
"Nothing. I wish to be alone," William said, sniffing his tears away.
"Oh, I see you. A man surrounded by fools who cannot see his
strength, his vision, his glory. That and burning baby fish swimming all around
your head" Drusilla's hands moved in a circle in front of her stomach. Buffy
shuddered. The sweet girl she'd met was long gone. A lunatic stood in her
place.
"That's quite close enough. I've heard tales of London pickpockets. You'll not be getting my purse, I tell you" William moved backward. Spike was more than a little disturbed by seeing himself and Drusilla together.
"Don't need a purse. Your wealth lies here" Drusilla touched William's head "and here" her finger went to his heart "In the spirit and imagination" Drusilla's hand moved lower, causing William to gasp "You walk in worlds the others can't begin to imagine" Drusilla's' head swayed to music only she could hear. William stood amazed at her ability to understand him.
"Oh, yes! I mean, no. I mean... mother's expecting me" William attempted to resist, but allowed Dru to push the material of his shirt collar aside.
"I see what you want. Something glowing and glistening. Something…" Dru's hand grasped at the air, as if catching a thought "effulgent"
Buffy took a breath, and found herself slightly mesmerised
by Dru. Her madness was beautiful in a way.
"Effulgent" William repeated, lost for breath, and happy
beyond words.
"Do you want it?" Drusilla asked
"Oh, yes!" William's hand came to rest on Dru's chest, and he gasped "God, yes"
Drusilla's head hung, and Buffy felt Spike let out a gasp as
she lifted her head again, revealing fangs.
William faltered a little, as Drusilla pulled his collar back, and sunk her elongated fangs into his neck. William cried out in pain, before finding pleasure in it. Buffy looked up to see Spike smiling, and she looked back, not understanding why he was enjoying his death.
"Must be a vampire thing," she muttered, turning out of the alleyway, and back onto the street.
---
Spike caught up with her a few minutes later, having stayed to watch Dru feed William her blood.
"That was amazing" he gushed, as he came alongside Buffy.
"I guess" Buffy shrugged. Spike touched her arm
"What wrong? Why did you run out of the party?"
Buffy looked up at the loving blue eyes, and sighed
"I listened to Cecily telling William…telling you exactly what I said to you behind the Bronze that night…and realised how horrible I was to say it. This was before you chained me up. I had no excuse for talking to you like that"
Spike shrugged
"It's not a big deal," he muttered, though deep down he was glad she had apologised.
"To me it is. Am I always so cold? Am I always that heartless?" Buffy's eyes threatened to spill tears again.
"No…no. You're not. You've never said anything to me that I didn't deserve" Spike paused "Well, except that. But that was a one off, but mostly, you are the most loving, kind, wonderful person"
Buffy smiled, and ducked her head
"You're not so bad yourself" she replied, making him laugh.
"We need somewhere to stay. Maybe some food"
"You haven't had any blood for…how long have we been here?"
"Seems like 4 days. I don't think I need blood here. I can walk in daylight, see myself in mirrors. Still dead, but I don't feel like I need blood"
Spike stopped at what looked at the back of a house.
"What's this?" Buffy asked, looking up the large wall.
"My house" Spike said.
"And you want to stay here?" Buffy asked, incredulous.
"Why not? My Mum's in bed. So we'll have to be quiet, but she'll never check the attic room" Spike reached above the door, and felt around for something
"Attic room?" Buffy asked, as he produced a key, from above the door.
"For lodgers if we took them. There isn't anyone staying there, so she's got no need to go up there," Spike explained.
"Don't you ever miss her?" Buffy asked, as he opened the door.
"Yeah…sometimes. But I kind of have a replacement. Joyce is like a Mum to me" Spike closed the door behind Buffy and slipped his jacket off.
Any other day, Buffy would have reacted badly to Spike claiming her mother as his. But today it made her smile.
"I'm not a good cook, but there's come of Mum's leftover stew" Spike said from the larder "She was a bloody good cook…I could heat it up on the stove"
Buffy grinned. Spike cooking would be a sight she'd never forget.
"That's fine"
---
A few bowls of stew, and a cleaned up kitchen later, Spike walked through the house, pointing out pictures of himself. His shame seemed to have disappeared, and he now enjoyed showing Buffy around.
At the bottom of the stairs, Spike pointed up.
"That's my mother's room. The one at the top of the stairs. We have to go past that, and up a staircase to the attic. Every third step on the stairs creaks"
Spike looked at Buffy for confirmation that she understood, and she nodded. Spike started up first, avoiding every third step. Buffy followed, trying not to laugh at the absurdity.
They reached the top, and tiptoed past his mother's door. Once they closed the door to the attic staircase behind them, Buffy giggled.
"What's so funny?" Spike asked, as he pushed the hatch open.
"Something tells me William never snuck girl's into the attic" Buffy laughed, as Spike helped her up into the sparsely furnished room. A larger than usual single bed, was pushed against one wall, and there was a small wardrobe, a bookcase and bedside cabinet. A sink was on one wall.
"No, William didn't" Spike laughed, throwing his jacket into the corner. Buffy walked to the sink, and turned to water on. The pipes clanked once, and Buffy froze, but Spike waved her on
"They always made that noise once…it'll work fine now"
The sink filled with water, and Buffy turned the tap off.
Spike pulled a book out of the case. He flicked through it whilst padding the room, as Buffy pulled her hair out of the ribbon, and washed her face, and hands.
When she'd finished, she let the plug out, and the water twirled down the sink.
"So what was it like seeing yourself?" she asked, drying her face off with a small hand towel.
"Embarrassing" Spike, said, glancing over the top of the book. He was having difficulty reading again.
"I thought he was quite sweet" Buffy mused, and placed the hand towel back on its small rail.
"Yeah? You prefer me right?" Spike, placed the book down, and crossed his hand over his chest
"You're the same person. You both need glasses" Buffy teased.
Spike sighed, and pulled a pair of reading glasses out of his pocket
"I know. Just thought they made me look like a dork. I found these downstairs" Spike put them on and grinned, "What do you think?"
Buffy nodded
"They look okay actually. Not so bad…" Buffy laughed, "Which is pretty much the theme of the day"
Spike looked up from the book he'd picked up again.
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.
Buffy shrugged, and stood beside the bed. It occurred to her they hadn't even thought about the single bed. Someone would be on the floor. She was intent on claiming it as hers for the night.
"Well, you really aren't so bad now are you?" Buffy bit her lip as soon as she'd said it. It was a direct attack on the one thing he'd always claimed to be.
Spike took his glasses off and put the book down for a second time. He took three steps towards her, and Buffy raised an eyebrow.
"You don't think I'm bad?" he said, taking a fourth step. The back of Buffy's legs touched the mattress, and Spike was right in her personal bubble.
"Well…you got a chip, and you love your Mum, and you help the Slayer…seems pretty tame to me" Buffy knew she was practically asking for him to move closer. It shocked her that she was enjoying his proximity.
Spike didn't move closer, but tapped her shoulder, causing her to loose balance. Her back hit the mattress, and Spike stood over her, and…was she smiling?
"Tame?" Spike questioned, placing a hand either side of her head, but staying as far away as he could, whilst trapping her.
"Yeah…you're just a great big softy" Buffy inhaled a sharp breath, as Spike moved to straddle her thighs.
"Uh huh…so you're telling me this because you think I won't hurt you?" Spike's voice was at the dangerously low level he always used when threatening. But Buffy didn't feel threatened. Something in his eyes told her he was only playing. Something in hers told him she was enjoying it.
"Oh, I know you won't. You couldn't even if you wanted to" Buffy tapped his head with the index finger of her right hand "You're chipped"
Spike rolled his eyes, and grabbed her wrist.
"Remember, in Ireland? When I stopped you killing Darla?" Buffy nodded. Of course she remembered. Spike's chip coming out was one of her nightmares. She shuddered at the memory of the dream she'd had that very night. Spike had killed her. She could still feel his fangs in her neck, from the dream. The fangs that didn't hurt her…just drained her of her life. "You remember how my chip didn't go off when I hurt you?"
Spike was practically dizzy. Buffy was letting him do this. She trusted him…was that going to far? She could be planning to kick him off any minute…
Buffy sighed, as she stared into the blue eyes. She trusted him and it scared her more than the fact that he had her pinned to the bed. Even as he placed her wrist above her head, and held it there, she still trusted him. And he had no chip! This is what made her shudder. She didn't think for a second that he'd take advantage of that fact and kill her there and then.
"I remember" Buffy whispered
"So you still think I won't hurt you?" Spike lifted her other wrist above her head. He could bite her now…her hair was conveniently away from her neck. But he wasn't even looking at her exposed throat. He was much more interested in her eyes.
"I know you won't" Buffy said defiantly.
Spike nodded, and waited to be propelled towards the door, by a swift kick to the chest.
Nothing.
Silence.
Buffy's heartbeat racing a little faster. His unnecessary breathing. But nothing much more.
Five minutes passed like this. Buffy's hands held over her head, no struggling, Spike dangerously close to her neck.
When she just gazed at him expectantly, he took a large breath, trying to contain the smile that threatened to spread over his face. Buffy blinked three times, and begged him to make a move with her eyes.
He did. His bones shifted, bringing his demon visage to the surface. And she wasn't scared. She still trusted him.
"Buffy" he said, from beside her neck. The breath made shiver "What's going on?" The fangs filling his mouth distorted his voice.
"I…guess I don't think you'll bite me. You'd be dust if I thought you were going to hurt me"
Spike moved upwards again, and his now golden eyes looked down at her hazel coloured ones.
"Is that trust?" Spike let go of one of her wrists, and twirled a length of her hair around his finger.
Buffy resisted a giggle. This sense of danger, this atmosphere was making her stomach spin in the best way possible.
"Yeah" She replied, failing to keep the emotion out of her voice
Spike nodded, ran his tongue along his fangs, and leant down to her neck again. He grazed the skin with his sharp teeth, and closed his eyes. This was amazing.
Buffy felt his long teeth retract, and his blue eyes appeared before her face. Only she couldn't see. Her eyes were closed, enjoying the feeling of his breath on her throat.
A feeling that wasn't there anymore. She opened her eyes to see his head cocked, and his lips curved in a smile. He was back to human face again.
One hand was still stuck above her head, but the free hand was on his arm.
Thinking that dying like this would be pretty good, Spike leant down and kissed her. Gentle enough for her to push him away easily, but strong enough to put some feeling behind it.
Buffy blinked, and kissed him back. His tongue ran along her bottom lip, seeking more. Buffy responded by parting her lips slightly. Already more mind-blowing than the gentle pecks Riley had given her; Buffy took control. She plundered his mouth with her tongue, and they fought, as they always did, for dominance, their tongues clashing in a delicious battle. They parted minutes later, and Spike began to nip at her neck again, with his now blunted teeth. Buffy pulled her arm free from his grasp, and slid the red waistcoat off, as he lavished the pulse point on her neck with attention.
It was then that she giggled. Spike paused, and lifted his head. He stared at her questioningly.
"What?" he asked. His voice quavered with desire, and Buffy reached up to push a small spike of hair back into position.
"You're wearing a waistcoat," she said through her laughter. Spike looked down at the blood coloured garment in her hand, and shook his head
"I was wearing a waistcoat," he muttered. Buffy smiled back, and he felt like he might die. She was smiling at him. Now she was giggling again. He watched as tears of laughter ran down her face. She hadn't even been laughing that long.
"Okay, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be laughing" Buffy said, making an effort to calm down.
Spike shook his head and lifted his hand to her hair.
"No…I like it" he said "I like you…everything about you"
Buffy realised now where those tears had come from. She felt them now. They still ran down her face. They were tears as she realised just how much he did love her. She'd said he couldn't love without a soul, but there was a love in those kisses that she'd never thought existed.
Before he could speak another word, Buffy was kissing him again, and putting everything she felt towards him into it. And now, it was a lot more than she wanted to feel.