Final Fantasy 7-#19
Come on, there's time for ANOTHER standstill. The final battles about to begin!
Part nine in the Nintendo Strikes Back saga
Written by Gabe Ricard
Disclaimer: With the exception of my indulgent, egotistical self-insertion character I own nothing so don't sue.
I'm afraid you're going to have to do without my little rant so sit back and enjoy.
"I say we attempt escape."
"Go for it Jay." Elly's tolerance of Jay having been forced to sit in a cell with him along with the other hostages for nearly six hours was beginning to deteriorate. It had in fact been almost wiped out well into the first five minutes.
"I would…b(sobs)ut uh…Silent Bob is scared and when the tubby bitch gets scared he starts sobbing like a little girl wit a skinned knee. And there's nothing worse then watching a fat man weep."
"Uh huh."
"Do you think the others are gonna come for us?" asked Randal.
"Nahhhhh."
"Barret!" Maria scowled.
"JOKING. Geez. Sure, they'll come for us. I still can't believe how badly I got my ass kicked."
"I don't."
"Burn in hell Rico."
"Make me."
"You make me make you."
"Well, you make me make you make you."
"Oh yeah? Well you can make-"
"ENOUGH!" the cry of everyone else in the cell was enough to deter the two from their battle and both quickly fell silent.
"They better come up with a plan soon," remarked Yuffie who had several small cuts on her legs. She would have done away with them but amazing enough, she did not have a Cure Materia on her.
Back at the mansion…where the top minds of the good team are hard at work…
"I give up. They're dead."
"Cloud, please don't be so negative," scolded Aeris. "We'll get them."
"Does ANYONE have a better idea then to attack the ship head on?" asked Gabe aloud.
"Well," began Fei. "We could get them to send out all their guys and in the battle get maybe four or five of us up to their ship and not only get the hostages but maybe take out Mario himself."
"Sounds like a really crappy plan but okay."
"Can we come in?" came the whiny voice of Kurt Angle from outside the war room with the other wrestlers save for Stone Cold and Booker T.
"No. There's no room."
"Awwww."
"What a whiner. So, do we just go out there and call them out?"
"Sounds good to me."
"I guess we should get out there then," Cloud and those who were lucky enough to get a seat got up and headed out with all the others to go after Nintendo for the last time.
"Cloud, wait!" Cloud stopped and tuned to face Aeris.
"What?"
"You really need to know that I-"
"Come on man!" cried the new Cait Sith poking his head in the door.
Aeris threw her arms in the air, "Fuck it, let's go." She shook her head and ran out the door.
"What's with her? Cloud didn't put much more thought into it and ran out after them.
Outside…on the Nintendo Ship
"They're out there. Just like we said," Dr. Wily was strangely giddy with anticipation. He ran over to Mario who nodded and grinned evil like.
"Good. We're gonna go through with the plan of sending down everyone but…who did we agree on?"
"Link, Ninja Gaiden, Samsus, Pikachu, Simon Belmont, Megaman and Earthworm Jim."
"Right. They think they're pretty clever but when they send a couple of their best guys up here to get the hostages they're in for a huge surprise. He threw his head back and laughed. "At last we're going to finish them off and victory will be ours. Send down everyone else."
"Gotcha."
Outside…NOT on the Nintendo ship a few minutes later
"Gah! It's creepy the way they all appear at once," observed Cid shaking his head and drawing the Venus Gospel. The two groups stood staring one another down silence between them before Cloud got bored and charged in prompting the others to follow. Cloud put down Little Mac with a single attack then felt an overwhelming force drive into the back of his head. Cloud stumbled forward then spun around to see Sagat before him complete with two cybernetic replacements for his arms which Cloud had severed. "Like em?"
"No."
"Good, then it'll be even more enjoyable when I use these to crush your skull!" Sagat charged at Cloud and threw a series of lets and rights which Cloud narrowly avoided and blocked with his sword. Cloud was so absorbed in dodging Sagat's imposing arms he wasn't prepared for the kick to his stomach. Cloud doubled over but still kept Sagat at bay with his sword.
Emeralda saw Edgar uppercuting Undertaker to the ground and felt the anger at what he had done to her explode. Creating a blade in her right hand, the young girl cut her way through the throng of fighters and caught Edgar just as he turned to face her. Slicing his chest open then attacking again and creating a slight cut on his forehead. Edgar tried to recover but was kicked in the crotch twice in the time it should have taken for a single kick. Edgar threw two blind punches but hit nothing but air. Emeralda tripped him and began kicking him with everything she had.
Vincent saw Albert being pummeled by Kano and pulled his shotgun out of Pac Mans head and fired at Kano several times. Unfortunately, Kano saw the shots coming and threw Albert in front of them. Vincent could do nothing but watch as Albert took the full brunt of the shotgun blasts and fell to the ground unmoving. "Bastard," Vincent concentrated all his energy into forming himself into Chaos and throwing Gut Man aside to grab Kano and shoot up above the battle. Chaos drove his fangs into Kano's neck as his hands clenched around his arms and ripped them both off just as he tore his neck open. Chaos let go of everything at once and let them fall back into the battle royal.
"Hey, I think I'm getting better at handing this thing," exclaimed Gabe who was looking for Link but had to settle for one of the Blues Brothers. He wasn't sure which one it was. But he was sure that this guy could punch really hard as evidence by the bruises forming on his neck and face. Nearby, Stone Cold and Bruce Willis were fighting side by side picking off whoever they came into contact with. Which included the knight from Ghosts and Ghouls, Wario and numerous others.
Back on the Nintendo ship…
"Well, it looks they're fighting down there," remarked Barret peering through the tiny window of their cell.
"We need to get the hell out of here," said Dante. "But how? This cell's made of something we can't break through. We all tried. And the doors are some kind of electric barrier."
"Well, we could get Elly to do a fake seduction on the guard and get him to open the door while we all pretend to sleep."
"The guard would have to be a moron of the worst kind to fall for that," shot down Red XIII.
Three minutes later…
"I can't believe you wanna do this!" giggled the ninja once he had turned off the electric door and made his way into the cell towards Elly.
"I can't uh…help myself. You're so…ummm."
"Sexy!" coughed Randal casually while still pretending to sleep.
"Sexy! You're so sexy."
"Well, the last three times this happened to me the girl just wanted to escape!"
"Really? I don't believe that," Elly reached over and put an arm around the ninja.
"Well, you're lucky the smart guard's not on duty right now."
"I know," the moment Elly said this, Barret brought his gun arm down on the back of the ninja knocking him out cold. "All right let's go," everyone carefully walked out of the cell and left walking down the hall in single file. Red wondered how many more times he would have to do this over the course of the week.
Back on the battle field…
"Okay, let's get up there. Let's send myself, Fei, and Stone Cold up there," Cloud ducked under a ninja being thrown by Tifa and headed for the front of the battle grabbing Fei and Austin as he did.
"How the hell are we gonna get up there?" asked Fei.
"I thought this out," replied Cloud producing a mastered Ice Materia and creating a makeshift ice ladder that stretched to the top Nintendo vessel. The three climbed up and once at the top found an opening and squeezed themselves inside.
"Wow…spacious."
End.
That does it for the pretty short part nine. I'm not sure how long the tenth and final chapter will be but you can be sure, it'll be a huge battle and there'll be a season finale style shocker at the end. Well, I hope anyway.