Title: Father Like Son
Author: Amanda M. Daugherty
E-mail: Country_girl_2003@yahoo.com
Rating: PG
Classification: (Harm/Mac)
Spoilers: Boomerang to Lifeline
Summary: Harm goes to visit his mom and gets some important advice.
Disclaimers: Don't own JAG or the song, So Much Like My Dad, that's performed by George Strait.
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"Harmon Rabb Jr. what are you doing here?" I scold my son when I see his six foot four frame in my doorway. Not that I'm not happy to see him, but he usually only stops in for holidays or when he's out here on a case.
"Hi mom. Can we talk?"
There's a look about him that makes me want to cry. He's not my happy, vibrant boy. Instead he stands in front of me dressed in a pair of Nikes, a faded pair of blue jeans, and an old Navy shirt. His shoulders are slumped. His hands are crammed down in his pockets as far as they'll go and his eyes down sparkle like he's got a secret hidden like they usually do.
"Of course honey." I move out of the way and he slowly walks in.
"Where's Frank?" He inquires looking around the house for his stepfather. I admit Harm and Frank never got along when Harm was growing up. Most of that was the fact that Harm idolized his father and felt that Frank was trying to take his father's place, but lately, in the last few years it seems that Harm has opened up to Frank and they've developed a bond.
"He had to go to the office. He just left about an hour ago. Come in and let's get something to drink. Would you like to go sit out on the patio?" I rattle as I make my way to the kitchen.
When he doesn't answer I turn around and discover he isn't behind me. I glance into the living room to see him standing in front of the mantel looking at the numerous pictures I have placed there.
"Here you go darling." I hand him a glass of ice tea and and stand there beside him waiting for him to make the first move. I've already asked if he wanted to sit on the patio and he didn't answer. I have no clue what he wants.
We stand here for a moment both of us looking at the various pictures. My eyes notice a few that really stand out. There on the end stands the picture of mine and Harmon's wedding day. It surprised me when Frank and I got married that he didn't want me to put up all the old pictures of me and Harmon. He said he understood that Harmon held a special place in my heart and always would. He didn't want me to box up the pictures of Harmon like I had my memories for the longest time. He thought Harm deserved to see pictures of his father around. Next to our wedding picture sits an informal shot of me, Harm, and his father. It was taken at a Navy picnic one year when Harm was about four. Harmon was dressed in a Navy shirt standing beside me. Harm sat on his father's shoulders dressed in a miniature version of Harmon's shirt only under Navy in parentheses and in small print 'in training' was written. Both my Harms were wearing that silly little grin they have. I've always dreamed of having a copy of that picture to sit beside it, only in this copy Harm would be standing there beside his wife with his son on his shoulders. I've often dreamed of having the mantel littered with pictures of my grandchildren like it is now with baby pictures of Harm. I smile at the picture of little Harm naked in the bathtub when he was three. I'm sure every mother has a picture of their child like or at least that's what I tell Harm when he complains about having that picture in display. My second favorite picture is up there. It's on of Harm when he was six. It was taken a few months after Harmon was shot down. Harm stood on the porch of his Grandma Sarah proudly showing off his broken arm, stitches, and various other cuts and bruises to the camera. He decided to play in the loft of the barn even though Sarah and I told him the floor was rotten and he couldn't. Anyway he stepped on a rotten plank and fell out. It's one of my favorites because it shows the likeness between Harm and his father.
The only picture I have now that comes close to any of those is the one I have of Harm, Mac and their godson, AJ. It's a pose similar to the one Harmon and I had. Mac was standing beside Harm, but AJ was on Harm's hip. Beside that picture is a picture of all Harm's friends at JAG and one Special Assistant to the Undersecretary of State.
"Do you remember when I fell out of the barn and Grams and broke my arm?" Harm asks me.
"Remember? That day is burned into my memory. You scared me to death." I smile and pick up the picture I was just studying.
"Do you remember what you and Grams told me while we were waiting for the doctor to put the cast on my arm?" Harm looks down at me with those sad eyes.
"Not right off hand. All I remember is thanking God for you being okay." I say and replace the picture to it's proper location on the mantle.
"I was sitting on that cold table telling you and Grams about how I couldn't wait to get home to tell all my friends about my fall when you looked up at me, smiled, got this dreamy look in your eyes and told me how much I was beginning to get more like dad every day. Then Gram told the story about how when dad would also injure himself he would always have to show off."
"I remember now." The memory becoming fresh in my mind.
"She's going to leave, mom."
I'm confused. First we were talking about his falling and being so much like his dad and now he's talking about someone leaving him. I was about to ask him what he was talking about when I noticed is fingers tracing the outline of Mac's face on the picture of them and their godson.
"Harm you know transfers are a part of military life..." I start to explain, but he shakes his head no. "She's not transferring?"
"She's engaged mom." He admits
"Oh Harm I'm so sorry. What happened?"
"I don't exactly know. One night we were on a ferry in Sidney Harbor and she's asking me if were going wait an eternity and I'm mumbling something about location not changing who we are and not being able to let go. Then two days later she shows up at the airport wearing Brumby's ring."
"What does location and not being able to let go mean?" I ask. I know I'm getting up in my age, but I didn't think we started speaking a different language.
"She wanted to take our relationship one step further and you know enough about the military that couples in the same chain of command cannot have a personal relationship. From what she said I understood that she wanted to throw all that out the window for one night because when weren't in the states. I can't do that mom. First I respect Mac too much to have a one night stand with her, second I didn't want to ruin our friendship, and third I swore under oath of uphold and respect a certain code and I'm not going to go back on my word." He looks at me with an expression I can only describe as him expecting me to be confused or angry at him, but I'm not.
"What about not being able to let go?"
"I was so scared that night mom. I mean I'm always the one to take control in the relationships. I'm always the one wanting to go further, or to ask a girl out, but Mac caught me totally by surprise and I didn't know what to do. She said something about still not being able to let go and I agreed. I said anything I thought that would end that conversation. All I wanted to do was get away for a few minutes so I could think about things, instead I pushed her into the arms of another man."
"When did all this happen? The last time I remember you being in Australia was about a year ago." I give him the glare that he says only mother's can give.
"Then."
"And you're just now telling me about it?" I stare at him. He looks down sees it and turns away. He starts to walk over to the window and I follow him. I'm not letting him off the hook this easily.
"Well she wore the ring on her right hand for so long I thought she'd turn him down."
"But she didn't." I conclude.
"No. The jerk resigned his commission in the RAN and moved to the US. He pressured her for an answer and now he's got it. They've set the date for May 26."
"Oh Harm." I look at him. I don't expect to see tears. He gave up crying a long time ago, but I do see pain, hurt, and sorrow in those eyes I know so well. They were the same as his father's.
"Mom, you used to say that I was so much like dad. If I was, then he must have done something like this. Please tell me what he did that made you stay with him." Harm pleaded.
I lead him over the couch and sat down with him beside me.
"Harm I'm going to be honest with you and tell you that you're father never did anything like this, but I am going to tell you if he did what I would want to hear. First you have to tell Mac how much you love her."
"I can't mom. She's happy and I don't want to stand in the way of that."
"Then what are you doing here?"
"I want to know a way to make her stay."
"No Harm all you want to do pout. Listen to me tell her that you love her you'll stand beside her no matter what her decision is. Don't forget to tell her how big of a dumb-ass you were in Australia."
"MOM!" I have to laugh at my son's stunned expression. He's not used to me cussing in front of him or at all for that matter."
"Harm listen to me. Go to her tell her how you feel. If I know Sarah Mackenzie like I think I do then you're right and she only took that ring because she thought you rejected her. From the few times that I've talked with Mac I know that she's scared that everyone's going to leave her and she's scared to be left alone. Just let her know that no matter what you won't leave her." I pat my son on the knee and rise from the couch letting him know that the conversation if over.
He quickly stands up and hugs me. I must admit this took me by surprise.
"Thanks mom. I've got to go. I love you." Harm said quietly and left the house. I happy to say that if he's not happier than he was when he got her he's certainly more enlightened.
La Jolla Art Gallery
La Jolla, Ca.
A year later
"Ms. Burnette what's this?" Tammy asks me as she picks up the cream colored card with matching envelope.
"Oh that. It's the sample invitation to my son's wedding." I respond glancing up from where I was going over some new prints on the conference table.
"I didn't know Harm was getting married."
"Yeah. It's about time to." I say out loud. "I was beginning to think he's was going to be a lonely old hermit." I laugh. I do love my son, but sometimes he can be so dense, just like his father was.
"Do you mind if I look at it?" She asks. She's been working for me for ten years. She's almost like a daughter to me, but yet she still asks.
"Go ahead. Actually I want your opinion on it. Harm sent me a couple others wanting my opinion and that was my favorite. I was going to mail it back to him today."
I watch her as she opens it up and reads the inscription printed on the front with silver lettering.
"You never know true love until you find your soulmate." She reads. "That's beautiful. Where did it come from?"
"It's kind of his and Mac's own little saying. When Harm was trying to tell her that he loved her he couldn't put it into words. He told her that he's never known true love, and she responded with you never know true love until you find your soulmate." I have to admit that Harm does surprise me. One minute he's so stupid and dense and the next minute he can say one of the most romantic things girl can ever wish to hear.
"That's so romantic." See even she agrees with me. "I defiantly like this one." She lays down the invitation. "Do you mind if I play some music while I clean?" She asks again.
"Go ahead. What'd you bring?" I question. One Saturday out of a month we come in a give the gallery a really good cleaning. We've done this for I don't know how many years and we always listen to music. I don't know why she even asks anymore.
"I brought my George Strait collection."
I smile to myself. That girl is so obsessed with George Strait. I swear she has every CD of his and I'd hate to think of what her room was like as a kid. That reminds me of the pictures I have on my mantel, many of Harm as a child. I remember the picture of Harmon, Harm, and me at the Navy picnic. Now there a chance that I'll have the similar one I've always wanted. Suddenly a song brings me out of my thoughts of Harm as a child.
"I know I surprised you coming home
It's not my usual time of year
But I've got myself a problem
That I know I'll find the answers to here"
I think back to Harm's visit a little over a year ago.
"Remember when I was dad's pride and joy
And your little man
Every time I got hurt
You were there to give a hand
Even pick me up
And you'd kiss my hurt away
Remember what you'd say
Boy you're getting more like him
Each and every day."
I remember his standing there and the pain in his eyes and how he reminded me of on one of scariest day's of my life.
"Can we have a talk
Like it was yesterday
Your boy's back in trouble
And he needs you right away
She says she's gonna leave me momma
And nothing on God's green earth
Will make her stay"
"I can't live without her momma
But this time you can't kiss the hurt away"
"But if I'm so much like my dad
There must've been times
You felt her way
So tell me word for word
What he said that always made you stay"
Country music had to be the only type of music that comes from everyday life. I don't know of one country song that hasn't happened to someone. It's real life music. Maybe that's why a lot of people don't like it. It speaks the truth.
"She says she's gonna leave me momma"
"Tell me if I'm so much like my dad
There must've been times
You felt her way
So tell me word for word
What he said that always made you stay"
Yes my little Harm is so much like his father. Both hard headed, stubborn, but in the end they both got their girl. I just hope and pray that if there's a Little Harmon Rabb the third that he won't carry on the Rabb traits when it comes to love.
THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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FEEDBACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!