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Just Forget Anything Happened It was one of those days. One of those Disney movie days. Birds were chirping. The breeze was blowing gently. The sun was smiling. Greens were bright. And the sky was blue...blue...blue. God I hate days like these. They make me want to smash my fist through a fucking wall. My mind screamed at everything to shut the hell up. But my mental shouts fell on deaf ears. Nature continued to sparkle. My mind raged and moaned about the injustices of the beautiful day. But my face remained expressionless as I stared off into God knows what. Duo's face suddenly entered my line of vision as he flopped down noisily into the seat across from me, bringing a box of some sugar coated crap in a box and a quart of milk down with him. His spoon rattled against the ceramic bowl when he slammed it down on the table. It was a wonder that we didn't go through dishes faster than we actually did. His eyes settled on me for a moment before going about his breakfast. He poured the cereal crap until it reached the very top of the bowl and then drained the container of sugar that we kept on the table. It looked utterly disgusting, even after he drowned it all in milk. But what was worse was how he shoveled it into his mouth at an alarming rate, flecks of chewed up food leaving their mark on his lips. No matter how disgusting this whole scene was I was still entranced by it. How could someone eat that shit and survive? And at the rate he was going he would go into a sugar coma before anyone could do anything for him. Duo's eyes traveled from his concoction up to my face, noticing finally that I was staring at him. He grunted and made a crude motion to the pitcher of orange juice that sat next to my hand. I took his glass and filled it myself, not wanting whatever food landed on his hands to be transferred to the pitcher. I pushed the glass across the table to him and he grunted his thanks before going back to his meal, guzzling down orange juice whenever he came to a stopping spot. We went through this routine every morning. And every time I saw it I was astonished. The other pilots were usually with us, sitting as far away from Duo as possible to avoid being hit with any flying food. Quatre and Trowa were on a mission and Wufei was stealing any parts we needed for our gundams. So that left only me to view the transformation that would very soon take place. It was strange but as that bowl of his emptied his appearance subtly changed. His hair lost that certain wild man look that it had when he had sat down. His eyes became more alert. His posture straightened. His grip on the spoon changed to that of a normal person. And, finally, when he took a napkin from the middle of the table and wiped his mouth off, he looked like the Duo that graced us all with his presence every day. He looked up at me. "What are you looking at, Heero?" I smiled and gulped down the rest of my coffee. My chair scraped the floor as I stood. "Nothing, Maxwell." Odd. ----- It wasn't until much later that day that I saw Duo again. He was idly flipping through the channels on the TV but it was obvious that nothing was reaching out and grabbing him. So he tossed the remote down and looked up at me. Duo's eyes were the largest enigma in the world. They're so blue. And so striking. I looked back at him, waiting for him to say whatever he wanted to say. His forehead was creased in frustration. That usually meant he had something important to say. But his face brightened and he grinned. "Hey, Heero. What's up?" I inwardly rolled my eyes and sat down next to him, but not too close. All was silent for a moment until Duo asked an odd question. "Heero, do you love girls?" I looked him in the eye, wanting to laugh, but noting the seriousness that marred his cheerful features. I shrugged, not really knowing how to answer that question. I wasn't too sure about that. I thought I liked girls but there were moments when I was alone with Duo that I was seriously thinking about reconsideration. "Why?" I watched him expectantly. Waiting for his answer was like torture. "Because I love boys." He blinked. He was obviously reevaluating how he said that. Confusion crossed his face, mirroring the confusion that I felt. I didn't understand why he was telling me this. I was straight. There were others in our small group that could understand him more than I ever would. Why was he telling me this? He was hesitating. There was something else that he wanted to say. There was something more on that mind of his. Uncomfortable silence hung heavy in the air. In a second I found Duo's lips pressed tightly against my own. My eyes widened in shock. I did the only thing my mind would let me do at that moment. I hit him. Hard. There he was. Shuddering on the floor as emotional pain racked his body. My punch had hurt. I know it had. I meant it to. At that moment. But as I looked at that innocent creature on the floor I regretted it. He was shocked into a stupor. Never had such self-hatred flooded my body so. Never had I wanted to hit myself as hard as I had hit him. His fingers curled gently over his injured cheek. He looked up at me. Eyes filled with such shame. Eyes filled with the same self-hatred that I felt! I knew why he told me he was gay. It was because he loved me. And I loved him at that moment. Because no matter how hard I would have hit him, his eyes would still shine with love as he gazed up at me from the floor. I crouched next to him, snaking my arm around his waist. His legs just wouldn't move. The intense pain of rejection wouldn't let them. He looked up at me again, fingers still covering the developing bruise. "Duo...I..." I didn't know what to see. So I let my mask slip for a moment and let him see me. He smiled and shrugged a little. "Just forget anything happened." -fin- |