Minomon was still feeling very left out, but was trying to make some sense out of all the things being said as he continued listening to the conversation. The nervous, frightened edge that was in Ken's voice earlier was starting to subside, and the tension in the air was starting to fade, but Ken still refused to face Daisuke straight on and instead, continued to face the window.
"Why were you so afraid to tell me, Ken? How did you think I was going to react?"
"I didn't know how you would react. That's what scared me the most...the not knowing."
Silence.
"Did you think I'd suddenly stop being your friend?"
"...maybe."
Daisuke gave his friend a smile. "Aww, Ken, you didn't even have to tell me for me to see that you liked me. It was pretty obvious."
"It was?" Ken had a confused look on his face. "I didn't think I was being that obvious. Or at least I hoped I wasn't being obvious."
"But, you were," Daisuke said with a smile.
Ken chewed on that thought for a bit, wondering just what it was that Daisuke picked up on when Daisuke interrupted his pondering.
"Ken, how long have you known this? How long have you known that you were in love with me?" Daisuke asked gently. "Was it before we had to choose which colleges we wanted to test for? Is that why you're not at one of the best universities in Japan and you're here with me at a second tier school?"
Ken started looking out the window again. "The decision I made was based on practicality, Daisuke. If our digimon needed to Jogress shinka, then I'd already be here with you..." Ken started to say, but who was he fooling? He knew that Daisuke wouldn't buy that excuse. Not when one of the top universities in Japan was just a train-ride away. That, and the fact that he can open a dimensional rip anywhere. It was the only perk to having a dark spore in him. Ken's voice dropped to barely above a whisper.
"...I just didn't know what else to do. I thought that maybe I could work something out with myself. That if I go to be with you, by your side, that it would be enough for me. It just got worse once we moved in. The past month and a half have been hell for me. Every day just got worse and worse..." Ken was starting to choke up.
"...then, I think that it would be better for both of us if we try not to spend too much time together from now on. Maybe that would help you get over me faster," Daisuke suggested.
Silence.
"...yeah..."
Ken agreed. Daisuke was right. Maybe it would help if they didn't spend as much time together. Ken let his head hang down, his long hair hiding his tears. "I'm sorry, Daisuke. I wish things weren't like this."
"Yeah, me too. Don't worry, we'll make it through this." Daisuke tried to reassure his partner. "Just watch, we'll still be the best of friends years from now." And Daisuke truly believed that.
The red of leaves changed into the white of snow, and the white of snow transformed into the rainbow of flowers.
Things were not going well. Daisuke and Ken were drifting farther apart with each passing season, and as they did, their hearts did as well. Neither one really understood the other, as frustrations and tensions continued to build between the two of them. Because Daisuke was spending more time with his other friends that he met at college, Ken thought that Daisuke was trying to avoid him on purpose, and it really hurt. Meanwhile, Daisuke was just trying to put his plan into action. And Ken was trying really hard not to like Daisuke, but to him, it wasn't something one could just shut off like a light switch. Oh, how he wished it were so easy. But Daisuke didn't see it that way. It seemed to him like Ken wasn't trying his hardest, as though Ken didn't really want to give up his little crush. Ken was beginning to feel like he was being ignored. And that's when he realized.
Not since he was eleven had things been this bad.
Slowly, Ken started hiding from everyone, and withdrew into his little shell. He avoided the press at every turn, even more than usual, and gave excuses for why he couldn't give interviews on talk shows any more. He wasn't doing anything really impressive anymore anyway. What was worse, he started avoiding the other digidestined and rejecting their help. Whenever they were doing anything, Ken almost always made up some excuse for why he couldn't go with them. Ken kept thinking that this was his problem, and that he could solve it on his own. He didn't even want to talk to Tai and Yamato, even though they would have gladly helped him; he just didn't want to talk to anyone anymore. His life was slowly starting to fall apart. Again.
That's when Ken started to feel like Daisuke didn't need him in his life anymore; that no one needed him around anymore.
/Daisuke's life is just fine. It would probably be perfect without me. He doesn't need me screwing up his life./
/I don't make an ounce of difference in anyone's life./
/No one will notice if I'm gone.../
Notes:
-The idea that Ken can open a dimensional rip anywhere is not something I made up. Besides being able to open a Dark Gate to the Dark Ocean (is it just me, or is everything in this show called "Dark Something..." Even the original Japanese name for "control spire" was "Dark Tower"...but I digress), Ken seems to be able to open a gate to anywhere he wants. In the episode where Miyako goes to Kyoto, Ken is actually shown coming out of a portal he opened in the middle of a river! Maybe that episode was foreshadowing for the later one when he needed to open the Dark Gate, but that's freaky...Ken has the power to go anywhere he wants... I'm taking a bit of a creative license with this and assuming that even now, Ken can control the power to open portals even though the Dark Spore, which I assume was granting him the power in the show, is dormant. Special thanks goes out to the author, whoever you may be, of "To Sleep...Perchance to Scream", since she didn't put her name on her fic, and uses her sister's account on fanfiction.net. Her fic is the one that pointed this fact out to me. Otherwise, I wouldn't have actually picked it up on my own...
-Yes, the press is still chasing poor Ken around, though the more depressed he gets, the more he hides from everyone, and the less actual amazing stuff he does...therefore, the press shouldn't be /too/ hard to dodge.
-Again, Ken is avoiding the other digidestined as well because it's in his nature to blame himself for things and to lash out at himself. He may be at peace with what he did as the Kaiser, but I think that it is his base nature to be self-abusive in situations where he's involved with the problem; like how he thought that it was his fault that Osamu died. He also tends to feel that if he's the one at fault, then it's his problem and his responsibility to correct the problem, by himself.